This is a conversation between me and my future self, if my financial path wouldn’t have positively forked 2 years ago. The transcript is available here.
What would your future self have to say to you?
Carnival of Money Stories – Halloween Aftermath Edition
- Image by Dunechaser via Flickr
Welcome to the November 1, 2010 edition of the Carnival of Money Stories. One thing I didn’t do when volunteering to host this was to check my calendar. Did you know that November 1 follows October 31, every year? On Saturday, I had 30 people over for my annual Halloween party. On Sunday, I ran a haunt in my yard and coordinated to get a dozen kids out begging for candy while using my house as a base of operations. I’ve had guest from out-of-town since Friday. Halloween weekend is, by far, the busiest weekend of the year at my house.
Editor’s Picks
J. Savings presents Side Hustle Series: I’m a Restaurant Server posted at Budgets Are Sexy, saying, “Is serving tables thankless work? Yes. Are customers sometimes unpleasant? Of course. But the benefits are plenty!”
Wenchypoo presents Marketing, Marketing Everywhere–There’s No Escape! posted at Wisdom From Wenchypoo’s Mental Wastebasket.
The Wise Squirrel presents Does it Matter Who is the Main Provider Between Husband and Wife? posted at Squirrelers, saying, “Money story about a dual-income couple in which the husband had the opportunity for a big promotion that would have required a move, AND his wife to leave her job. Their different viewpoints are discussed.”
Business
Ryan @ CML presents Get a Tax Deduction for a Working Vacation posted at Cash Money Life, saying, “Tips on how to write off a business trip as a tax deduction.”
Career
Jeff Rose, CFP presents How to Pass the CPA Exam and Become a Certified Public Accountant posted at Jeff Rose, saying, “If you are interested in becoming a CPA, here are some of the experiences of someone who just recently passed the CPA exam.”
Jason @ Redeeming Riches presents What Sam Walton Teaches Us About Money, Success, and Family posted at Redeeming Riches, saying, “Sam Walton had it all – or did he? Find out the biggest regret he had on his death bed.”
Credit
Mr Credit Card presents Cash Vs. Credit, A Real World Experiment posted at Ask Mr Credit Card.
Debt
The Family CEO presents Debt Snowflakes: Or How I Made $821.73 in Extra Credit Card Payments This Month posted at The Family CEO.
Kaye presents Stuck in the Middle posted at Mrs Nespy’s World, saying, “The beginning of the journey was excited, the end will be exhilarating, but this “in the middle” stuff is for the birds.”
Kate Kashman presents Why Not To Bounce Checks posted at The Paycheck Chronicles, saying, “An accidental bounced check in college is still causing trouble, 20 years later.”
Michael Pruser presents Managing $225,000 in Debt Is Starting to Ware on Me posted at The Dough Roller, saying, “My struggles on managing a ton of debt!”
PT presents 5 Lessons Learned From Filing Bankruptcy posted at Prime Time Money, saying, “Lessons learned from an actual account of going through a bankruptcy.”
Silicon Valley Blogger presents Should You Pay Off Loans or Invest Your Money? posted at The Digerati Life, saying, “So you’ve got some money. Should you pay off your debt with it or invest the money? Here’s a personal account on what I’ve done.”
Housing
BWL presents Success Story: Paying Off A House In 5 Years While Tithing posted at Christian Personal Finance, saying, “This is an encouraging story of a woman who stuck to her convictions about giving 10% of her income and still managed to pay off her house in less than 5 years!”
Miranda presents Do I Really Want to Rent Out My House? posted at Personal Dividends – Money+Lifestyle.
Investing
2 Cents presents What Would Make Me Invest in the Stock Market? posted at Balance Junkie, saying, “We have not invested in the markets for a while now. A reader recently asked what it would take for us to get back in. Here’s my answer!”
FIRE Getters presents Early Retirement Case Study – Sandy Aldridge and Dale Lugenbehl posted at FIRE Finance, saying, “At times the fast pace of our city lives appear stifling making us long for a slower pace of life with more exposure to clean air and green vegetation. Our souls yearn for a simple life which is in greater harmony with Mother Nature. Of late our work related health problems have been making us yearn, almost every morning, for a more relaxed life with greater freedom. So we were thrilled to read about Sandy Aldridge and Dale Lugenbehl who retired early (at ages 48 and 47 respectively) more than a dozen years ago to their eight-acre farm in Cottage Grove, Oregon …”
Other
Neal Frankle presents Find A High Paying 2nd Job Using Craigslist posted at Wealth Pilgrim: Money Management Advice, Financial Stess Management, Addiction Recovery Plan & Resources, saying, “You Can Find A High Paying 2nd Job Using Craigs List If you’re looking for high paying 2nd jobs, look no further than your computer screen.”
Super Saver presents Retiree Financial Lessons from the Recession posted at My Wealth Builder, saying, “Although I wish this recession had not happened, I am glad that it happened early in our retirement, while we were better able to meet the financial challenges.”
Craig Ford presents Medi-Share Medical Sharing | A Health Insurance Substitue posted at Money Help For Christians, saying, “Medical sharing is a great way to reduce your health insurance costs.”
passive family income presents Cutting Out Wasted Expenses to Save More Income posted at Passive Family Income, saying, “How many wasted expenses are you paying for? After sorting through my family’s past years credit card and bank statements, I have found several small money leaks in our personal finances.”
Kristina presents Our Parents Estate posted at Dual Income No Kids, saying, “If your parents are divorced, how has their separation affect the way you have planned your estate?”
Donna Freedman presents Rockin’ the surveys — when it’s worth it. posted at Surviving and Thriving, saying, “Online surveys can be a nice source of extra income — except when they aren’t.”
Joe Plemon presents My Car Needs an Engine. Should I Sell it, Fix it or Junk it? posted at Personal Finance By The Book, saying, “What do you do when your beloved car needs an engine: sell it, fix it or junk it? This post explores the options.”
FMF presents My Type of Couple posted at Free Money Finance, saying, “Story of a couple who collected 400k cans to pay for their wedding.”
Lindy presents Once Upon a Time…I Used an Iron posted at Minting Nickels, saying, “One of the likely first stops in expense-slashing is the luxury of paying for laundered shirts. This is a tale of my ironing saga (yes, it qualifies as a saga). And it’s not as boring as this description sounds. Thanks!”
Sandy presents One Disaster Away posted at Yes, I Am Cheap, saying, “We sometimes pass judgment on others for the financial situation, but most of us need to realize that all it takes is one disaster to be in the same situation.”
Bucksome presents Top 7 Ways I Budget My Time posted at Buck$ome Boomer’s Journey to Retirement, saying, “Budgets are needed for more than money in this story about 7 ways to budget time.”
Tom @ Canadian Finance Blog presents How to Watch Cheap and Free TV in Canada posted at The Canadian Finance Blog, saying, “Want to know how to see free TV in Canada? You have a few options with over the air free HDTV, broadcaster’s websites and cheap services like Netflix!”
Lauren Mendel presents A Very Scary Money Story posted at Richly Reasonable – Successes and failures, all in the name of living reasonably., saying, “This Halloween week read the true, terrifying tale of how Husband and I almost lost literally every important document that we have. Muahahaha! You might want to lock your doors and close the blinds before reading this one…”
Sun presents What’s in My Wallet? posted at The Sun’s Financial Diary.
Shopping
Money Beagle presents Costco Coupon Policies – Truth or Fiction? You Decide posted at Money Beagle.
ctreit presents Our family budget has to accommodate this chocolate snob posted at Money Obedience, saying, “Name brands versus store brands.”
Rachel presents Sometimes Less Is More | MomVesting posted at MomVesting, saying, “Melinda talks about how the value of many things isn’t necessarily determined by their cost.”
That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of Carnival of Money Stories using the carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on the blog carnival index page. Thank you, everyone, for participating!
Three Ways to Make Christmas Cheap
We failed Christmas Budgeting 101 this year. I haven’t totaled the damage, yet, but we have spent at least $500 more than we had planned.
It hurt.
Next year, we’re going to handle the Christmas budget differently. This year’s model isn’t working. It’s a lot like pushing a car down a hill to get it started, but ignoring the cliff at the bottom.
1. Use cash. A huge part of our problem was that Capital One is helping us celebrate. It’s horrible, because we both know we shouldn’t be using a credit card, for exactly this reason, but we can’t seem to make the transition back away from the plastic. Part of the reason is that Amazon and ThinkGeek don’t accept cash, and part of it is convenience. Don’t get me wrong, we’re not carrying a balance on the card, but it’s still far too easy to overspend.
2. Communicate! If our gift budget is $500, and I spend $300 online while she’s busy spending $300 in stores, out budget is shot. Worse, if we spend that money buying stuff for the same people, our budget is shot before our shopping is done. A little bit of this happened to us this year.
3. Explore atheism. There really is no more effective wa
y to cut down holiday expenses than to eliminate the holiday completely. This may not be the best answer for everyone, but it’s effective. On the other hand, I know several atheists who celebrate Christmas as much as anyone else. This probably isn’t a good alternative for most people.
3, Take 2. Cut back on “stuff”. My kids have more toys than they can play with. My kids’ parents have more toys than they can play with. Do we really need more? Wouldn’t it be better to spend the money I’d normally use to buy my wife a present on a series of date nights, spread out through the year? I could take my kids to Feed My Starving Children so they can understand how privileged they are and how much the things they take for granted are really worth.
There are so many other ways to celebrate a holiday that has turned into a national orgy of consumerism. Next year, we’ll be trying some of the alternatives.
Budgeting Bulimia
As the President is so quick to point out, ten years ago, there was a large budget surplus. Naturally, the government went into a massive cycle of lifestyle expansion. That expansion, combined with lower tax revenue and a recession has brought us from a $230 billion surplus to a $1.4 trillion deficit. That’s a bit above the trivial level. A definite binge.
In Minnesota, there was a $2 billion surplus just a few years ago, which was obliterated by, once again, government expansion and a recession. During the boom years, government programs were enacted with no thought to sustainability. Nobody thought about the fact that a surplus isn’t a balanced budget, either. We just kept adding to the budget, thinking the good times would last forever. Another binge.
Last year, the governor of Minnesota had to “unallot” money from the budget. He went through the budget with a red pen and struck line items until the budget was balanced, a requirement in this state. This infuriated his political opposition. They were not prepared for the purge.
Federally, the purge hasn’t happened, yet. Give it time. Excessive spending using imaginary money can only last so long. It will stop. The longer the binge, the harder the purge.
Families are doing the same thing. Four years ago, I got a raise and immediately bought a new car. Binge. Two months later, I was laid off and had to cut everything possible to make ends meet. Purge. Tax refunds, inheritances, drawings. So many of these things give us an excuse to commit to long-term expenses without planning for long term sustainability. If I inherit $5000, is that a good time to add $500 to my monthly bills? No! That’s an unhealthy binge. In ten months, if the money lasts even that long, I will be forced to purge something to keep afloat.
The responsible, healthy way is the same as healthy, responsible eating. Diet and exercise. Spend less, save and earn more. That’s the strategy that will let you level out life’s valleys, instead of puking all over the floor. Don’t spend every cent you see, just because it is there. Set some aside for a rainy day.
Leave the binge-and-purge financing to the politicians.
Update: This post has been included in the Festival of Frugality.
Fall From Grace
When you accumulate a certain level of debt, it feels like you’re wading through an eyeball-deep pool of poo, dancing on your tiptoes just to keep breathing. Ask me how I really feel.
It shouldn’t be a surprise that I’m in debt. We have gone over this before. The story isn’t one of my proudest, so I’ve never talked much about how it happened.
Our debt was entirely our fault. We messed up and dug our own poo-pool. There were no major medical bills, no extended unemployment, just a strong consumer urge and an apparent need for instant gratification. Delayed gratification wasn’t a skill I’d considered learning. The idea of it was a thoroughly foreign concept. Why wait when every store we visited offered no payments/no interest for a year? We didn’t give much thought to what would happen when the year was up.
We got married young. We bought our house young. We started our family young. We did all of that over the course of two years, well before we were financially ready. Twenty years old, we had excellent credit and gave our credit reports a workout. Credit was so easy to get. By the time I was 22, we had a total credit limit more than twice our annual income. We fought so hard to keep up with the Joneses. A new pickup, a remodel on our house. Within a month of paying off the truck, I got a significant raise and rushed out to buy a new car.
Every penny that hit the table was caught in a net of lifestyle expansion. I was bouncing on my tiptoes.
Four months into my new car payment, I was laid off. There’s me, hoping for a snorkel. A week later, we found out our son was going to be a big brother. Our pool had developed a tide.
We killed the cable and cut back on everything else and…managed. Money was tight, but we got by. I got a new job, but had we learned any lessons? Of course not. We got a satellite dish, started shopping the way we always had. Times were good, and could never be bad. We had such short memories.
Fast forward a couple of years. Baby #3 is on the way while baby #2 is still in diapers. Daycare was about to double. Daddy started to panic. I built a rudimentary budget and realized there was no way to make ends meet. There just wasn’t enough cash coming in to cover expenses. That’s when I made my first frugal decision: I quit smoking. That cut the expenses right to the level of our income. It was tight, but doable.
There was still one serious problem. Neither one of us could control our impulse shopping. For a time, I was getting packages delivered almost every day. It was never anything expensive, but it was always something. Little things add up quickly.
Last spring, I realized we couldn’t keep going like that. I started looking into bankruptcy. Somehow, we managed to toss ourselves into the deep end of the pool. We had near-perfect credit and no way to maintain it.
While researching bankruptcy, I found our life preserver. We put together a budget. We cut and…it hurt. It’s taken a year, but every bill we have is finally being tracked. We have an emergency fund and we are working towards our savings goals. It hasn’t been an easy year, but we are making progress. We’ve eliminated 15% of our debt and opened out budget to include some “blow money” and an occasional date night. We are always looking for ways to decrease our bottom line and increase the top line. Most important, we are actually working together to keep all of our expenses under control, with no hurt feelings when we remind ourselves to stay on track.
We are finally standing flat-footed, head and shoulders above the poo.
Update: This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
10 Tips to Help Parents Stay Out of Debt
People say that when you have a baby, your world gets flipped upside down. That’s not true. Your world gets dropped in a martini shaker and left to the whims of a sadistic bartender with a shaking fetish. Everything changes. That sounds like an exaggeration and nobody believes it until it happens, but it’s true.
When you find out you are about to reproduce, you will experience a phenomenon called “nesting”. Nesting is the idea that, if you take your credit cards and beat them against the curb until they bleed and VISA calls you asking for mercy, you will be transformed into the best parent ever, regardless of what you may actually screw up. It’s the way parents calm their fears by spending money, often on things that aren’t needed.
Q. How do you avoid becoming a debt-ridden, worried mess of an over-protective, over-extended new parent?
A. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?
I can’t help with the rest, but here’s 10 ways you can avoid the debt problems.
- Have a budget. I may have said this before. It’s possible this counts as a recurring theme here. If you don’t have a budget, you aren’t in control of your money. If you aren’t in control, then how do you know where it has gone or where it is supposed to go?
- Budget for baby crap. This will be a recurring expense for years, so get used to it. A friend of mine is on the cusp of having everyone out of diapers for the first time since 1993. Do you think they plan that expense? Diapers.com has $10 off and free shipping on orders over $49. Use code “ LiveReal” during checkout.
- Double the number you have in #2. Seriously. It will cost you more than you think, but it doesn’t have to cost you as much as you fear. It’s far better to have too much budgeted and find yourself with extra money than it is to budget too little and be forced to make up the difference at the feet of Master Card.
- Only take the advice of people you know and trust. Every random jerkface on the street has (usually) well-intentioned advice for new and expecting parents. Ignore them all. If they aren’t your doctor, your mother(assuming she did her job right), or friends with children, they are clueless and their advice should be immediately round-filed. Ditto for parenting magazines. The writers don’t know better than you do. Read the magazines for six months and watch for conflicting advice, not only in the same magazine, but often from the same writer! Don’t add the stress of bad advice from strangers to what is already a stressful time.
- Don’t get every gadget designed to cushion the baby. A wipe warmer is a waste of money. Do you want your baby to be scared of a little chill forever? Cold wipes build character. If that isn’t good enough, hold the wipe in your hand for a few seconds before using it. There are a million other gadgets to keep your little one from ever feeling a moment of discomfort. Don’t waste your cash. It may only be 10 pounds, but it’s tougher than you think.
- Don’t get every gadget designed to cushion the parent. They make ergonomic bottles, braces to hold your arms in the right position to feed, fancy cloths to catch baby vomit. Tough it up. Support your baby yourself. Build some muscle and some character. Use cloth diapers to catch various treasures your little brat will spit up on you. Spending more doesn’t always make it better. The ergonomic bottles that make it easier to feed a baby, make it harder for the baby to hold the bottle. This is actually making your life more difficult.
- Focus on the necessities. Yes, the fancy formula with the pre-digested proteins has a nicer label. It doesn’t make a difference. The generic brand at the warehouse store usually has the exact same ingredients in the exact same ratios as the brand name at the baby store–for half the price. There is nothing special about the blankets in the baby section–except the price. The fancy bottle warmer doesn’t do anything that a cup of warm water on the counter won’t handle. You need: A crib, unless you are doing a family bed; a easy-to-clean mat to change diapers(on the floor works!); and a diaper bag(back-to-school backpacks are more ergonomic and easy to organize than anything in the baby store!). Everything else is a luxury.
- Time counts more than stuff. No matter what else you hear, no matter how old your child gets, time with you counts more than anything else you could do or buy. Be there for your kids and the rest is gravy.
- Brand-name and designer labels are not status symbols. The opinions of the other soccer mommies do not matter. The opinions of the random jerkfaces on the street do not matter. Designer labels do not make you a better parent and are not an indicator of a happy baby.
- Always remember: Babies bounce and have short memories. While I don’t recommend bouncing your baby on the floor, they are surprisingly resilient. They don’t hold grudges, either. There is room to make mistakes without screwing up your kid.
For a hundred thousand years, people raised babies with nothing more than a scrap of hide to alternately chew on or wipe with. You can probably get buy with just a bit more. Relax and enjoy the process of raising your kids. Money doesn’t matter nearly as much as your presence.
