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What motivates me financially?

This post was originally written for a blog swap run by the Yakezie personal finance blog network to answer the question “What motivates you to be financially responsible?“

This may not be the most original motivation, but I am financially motivated by my family. Before I had kids, I didn’t care much about money or “stuff”. My goal was to sell everything I owned and backpack Europe. Yeah, it’s a bit cliché, but that’s the way it is. I was also considering trying to live out of saddlebags while touring the country 1000 CCs at a time.

Now, I’ve got so many other considerations. Four, to be exact. A wife and three kids certainly change your perspective. If it doesn’t, you’ve got flaws that I can’t help you with.

When my family started, it was a huge wake-up call. Suddenly, I had responsibilities (cue scary music). Overnight, I had things to care about that didn’t involve a party, or instant gratification, or, well, me. Merlin the Stork floated down, waved a wand and Poof! I was a grown-up. This may not sound like much of a shock, but my wife and I had baby #1 when we were 20. Adulthood was still pretty new to us, and suddenly we’re parents?

As a grown-up, with three precious little monsters dependent on me for absolutely everything, I had to start worrying about their security. This was more than just keeping them physically safe. I’ve had to manage their emotional health, their physical needs, and their entertainment. They rely on me (and my wife!) for everything. How could I live with myself if I couldn’t put food on the table and a roof over their heads? Winter boots? Clothes without holes? Visits to the doctor? Have you ever noticed how much kids cost, even without considering the Japanese fad games and Barbie dreamhouses? Having a kid is like cutting a hole in your wallet and holding it over a blender nestled comfortably in a roaring fire fueled by napalm.

Then, after I’ve got them clothed, fed, sheltered, and entertained, I have to teach them how to be real people. I’m of the opinion that children in their natural state are little more than wild animals. Generally cuter, but that’s about it. It’s a parent’s job to train that ravenous little beast into an acceptable, successful person. Part of that consists of teaching the little brats how to start paying for their own clothes, food, shelter, and entertainment, and how to manage that without becoming a drain on society. Productivity and success can be defined a thousand different ways, but none of them include letting other people pay your way or borrowing money you have no intention or means of repaying. Ultimately, being an adult–being a successful part of society–involves recognizing your responsibilities and living up to them.

Caring for, providing for, and teaching my children the things I know provides me with an irreplaceable opportunity to watch them grow and learn, while giving me a chance to steer that growth. It is, without a doubt, the best, most satisfying, and most difficult thing I have ever done. The pleasure I get from raising my kids reinforces my desire to become the best person I can be.

Really, I just want to be the guy my kids think I am.

Vacation, Shmaycation, Staycation?

Finance, Parenting

Indoor kart racing — Image via Wikipedia

Last week was our family vacation. This year, we decided to keep it cheap, since we raided our savings a few months ago to cover my son’s vision therapy.

Here’s what we did:

Friday (Yes, I started vacation on a Friday): My wife worked a half day, then we drove to visit my parents, roughly 120 miles north of our house. $110 for gas, round-trip, and $10 for drive-through lunch. $120 total.

Saturday: We went to the county fair and Dairy Queen. $18 for admission. $30 for ride tickets. $35 for food and ice cream. The ride tickets were totally worth it. My son and I discovered that he can handle the fun rides, which thrills me. $83 total.

Sunday: We had a picnic at the bottom of Inspiration Peak, the third highest point in Minnesota, followed by a hike to the top. That evening, my brother, his wife, my wife, and I tricked my parents into babysitting and escaped for several hours of adult time. After a couple of overpriced drinks at a crap restaurant, we went somewhere nicer and cheaper. A nice dinner, a few drinks, and a round of drunken go-karts later, we spent $90 for the evening.

Monday: Back to the go-kart park for the afternoon, and the return drive home in the evening. The go-kart park included 3 rounds of go-karts, mini-golf, and a round of bumper boats. $40.

Tuesday: A hands-on kids museum, a natural history museum that was hosting a portable planetarium, and a teppenyaki restaurant. We used museum passes for the museums, so this cost a total of $160. By far, the most expensive part was the restaurant. The museums cost a combined $30.

Wednesday: We spent the day at the Monster Mall’s indoor theme park, Nickelodean Universe, where we tested my son’s ability to handle the fun rides for $70. Then we ate at the Rainforest Cafe for $116, and we got my wife’s anniversary present, a family portrait at an “old time” photo studio. We chose a 1920s theme. I must say, I look dashing in a zoot suit. $260 total.

Thursday: My wife had to work on Thursday because she was short of vacation time, so I had the brats to myself. We went to a pick-your-own apple orchard where we picked a large bag of apples, a bottle of real, locally-made maple syrup and 3 cookies-on-a-stick. Afterwards, Brat #1 and I went to a Chinese buffet and the comic book store while the women-folk went to a saddle-club meeting. $60 total.

Friday: We had a fried chicken picnic at the largest playground in the area, and otherwise took it easy. $12.

Saturday: On Saturday, my girls rode in a horse show for the saddle club while my wife put in her volunteer work hours. Registration and the food for the potluck ran $40.

Sunday: I had to teach a gun class, so I made money, instead of spending it. My wife and kids played around the house.

Total, our vacation cost us $865, for 10 days of memories. If we would have skipped the restaurants, it would have cost $465, but we wanted those experiences, too. Our vacation fund has $906 in it, so we did all right.

Happy Challenge Winners

Misc

On April 4th, I issued a challenge and threw out a bribe to make it happen.

For the next 21 days, do it. Write down 3 thing you are grateful for. What makes you happy? It’s okay if it’s hard. If it’s hard for you, you need it more than most.

Now, the truly hard part:

Your answers can be as long or as short as you’d like, but there has to be 3 new things every day for 21 days. We’re going to train your brain to look for the positive, so you can’t give me 63 things on day 21. 3 things, 21 days.

On day 22, tell me how the previous 3 weeks have been.

The contest ran until May 15th and generated 435 happy things across 145 cumulative days. I’m going to spend some time crunching the data because it is inspiring to read the things that make all of you happy every day. Mostly, it’s little things, like quiet Sunday mornings, fresh air, or family meals. Those are the things life is made of. The big things pass as milestones, but they can never create a happy life by themselves.

On to the winners!

These were chosen randomly. I cannot and will not try to judge who has the best reasons to be happy.

In first place, K.C. wins $125. K.C.’s Day 22 response was “It was really hard some days, but it showed me some important things about how I think. I think it would be good to do this with a small notebook and pencil. I found myself thinking of the same things several times, which made me think about treating those things more specially. Overall, it was a good exercise.”

Second place ($75) goes to Petra with, “I can’t believe I’m at day 22 already. I’m not sure if this exercise made me a happier person, but it has gotten me to reflect and appreciate what (and who) I have and my surroundings. Looking at my entries (yes, I kept track of them), I do notice patterns of the things I value most and that give me joy and gratitude. These are: family, nature, a job that I enjoy, relationships, and anything that makes my life a little easier or enjoyable. Thank you for providing this challenge to your readers.”

Third place ($50) goes to Lynda, who said, “I enjoyed this challenge. It wasn’t very hard. I noticed that when I was entering the giveaways each day, it helped me reflect on my day. But I didn’t really notice a change in my attitude.”

I’d like to thank everyone who participated, even if it was for just one day. You’ve made my month brighter.

Requiescat In Pace

Life

Today, I am sitting at a funeral. My oldest friend’s dad died on Sunday.

Mark had an amazing ability to make anyone feel like family, from the moment he met them. The day I introduced him to my wife, he taught her to throw a tomahawk, and she still talks about it, 10 years later.

I don’t have a post in me today.

Mark Wayne Dwire, 61, was accepted into his father’s arms surrounded by his family June 24th. Mark was born to Wyman (Jack) and Donna (Hasbrouck) Dwire on March 25th, 1951 in Park Rapids, MN. Mark graduated from Walker/Hackensack High School in 1969. He was married to Sherry (Garbers) Dwire on July 31st, 1971. Mark was a business entrepreneur. He started as a logger when you could still make a living with a chainsaw and a tractor.

Mark was proceeded in death by his father, step father Robert Dwire and stepfather Patrick Harrington, his brother Kerwin Dwire.

Mark is survived by his wife Sherry, his mother Donna (Hasbrouck) Harrington, children Jesse, Jason, Terra Fine (Andrew), Jeremiah (Tanja), and Daughter-in-law Elizabeth. Mark loved his grandchildren Cameron, Emily, Madelyn, Lydia, Faith, Elaina and Ellery. He was fondly referred to as ‘Super Papa’. He is also survived by many siblings, nieces, nephews and cousins.

John Kerry’s Wife Hospitalized: Can You Afford Health Insurance?

Politicians

Secret message from Theresa Heinz Kerry (Photo credit: Mike Monteiro)

Even as a growing number of analysts are questioning the details of Obamacare, the sudden hospitalization of Teresa Heinz Kerry, the wife of former senator and current U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry, provides additional fodder to the ongoing healthcare debate.

Heinz, who is 74 years old, is the heir to the Heinz ketchup fortune. She is the widow of former Senator John Heinz, who was killed in 1991 in an aviation accident. Her marriage to Kerry in 1995 occurred when he was the senator from Massachusetts. Heinz was hospitalized on Sunday and is reported to be in critical condition after being flown to Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston.

Heinz was treated for breast cancer in December 2009 and went through two operations for lumpectomies. It is not known what specific health issues resulted in the current hospitalization. However, sources indicated that there was concern over the return of the cancer.

Regardless of the source of the current illness, it is taken for granted that Heinz will receive the very best of medical care, with cost being of no concern to treatments pursued. In the earlier process of treating her cancer, numerous doctors at the nation’s finest medical facilities were consulted. The issue of Heinz not having to worry about the costs of her care is the central theme of many who criticize our nation’s health care system.

For the millions of Americans who live daily without health insurance or any form of coverage, there is a constant concern over how they would deal with a medical emergency. These individuals know that they are one accident or serious illness away from devastating financial hardship. In fact, the single biggest reason for bankruptcy in the U.S. today is medical bills. According to the latest studies, the average hospital stay billed out at $15, 700, with an average daily cost of nearly $4,000.

These costs are onerous because so many people today find health insurance increasingly unaffordable. While the political debate over the current healthcare reform continues, there is one simple fact. That reality is that the annual cost of private health insurance, already out of the reach of many, has risen by as much as 50 percent in the last two years. Many plans for a family of four are now over $15,000 and it is predicted that a bronze plan under the implemented Obamacare will exceed $20,000 for that same family.

All of this brings us back to the hospitalization of Heinz. The reality we live in today means that many people diagnosed with cancer or other similar diseases have little hope of receiving the treatment or care that the wealthy can afford. Even with quality health care insurance, the co-pays and other costs create burdens that many cannot carry.

There are no simple or ready solutions to this situation. The morality of one patient dying because chemotherapy is too expensive while one with a large bank account survives is an issue that will see intensified debate in the coming months and years. Regardless of what caused the current hospitalization, Heinz is one of the lucky ones who will have superb medical care without financial considerations.

Lamar Odom: The Cost of Addiction

Gossip

Rumours swirl around Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian that their marriage is in trouble due to the basketball star’s addiction to recreational drugs. The couple has not been spotted together since June, and Kardashian has been photographed recently not wearing her wedding ring. On Sunday, August 25, TMZ reported that Odom had been missing for 72 hours after a dispute with Kardashian that some say was a failed intervention.

Los Angeles Hotel

On Monday, August 26, ESPN reported that Odom’s agent, Jeff Schwartz, claimed that Odom was in a Los Angeles hotel and that friends were attempting to get him help for a drug problem that the agent declined to explain further. The agent also said that Kardashian knew Odom’s whereabouts. Kardashian herself tweeted that she was unhappy with the news reports about her family, but failed to elaborate on whether the reports were true or false. ( http://espn.go.com/nba/story/_/id/9601746/agent-disputes-report-saying-lamar-odom-missing)

History of Drug Probems

In 2001, Odom violated NBA drug policies twice in eight months, apologizing at a press conference after the second offense. Odom claimed he did not have a drug problem and was only guilty of smoking marijuana. Odom often speaks of losing his mother to colon cancer at the age of 12 and his father’s heroin addiction, eventually moving in with his grandmother. In 2006, Odom’s son, Jayden, died of sudden infant death syndrome. In 2011, a cousin who Odom was close to died of gunshot wounds in New York, and just two days after the cousin’s funeral, Odom was involved in a car accident that resulted in the death of a teenager. Odom’s chauffer driven SUV collided with a motorcycle, causing the bike to go out of control and strike a 15-year old pedestrian who died of head injuries the next day. (http://articles.latimes.com/2011/aug/02/sports/la-sp-lamar-odom-accident-20110803). Odom took a 10-day leave of absence from the Dallas Mavericks, claiming his father was ill right after the incident.

Clash over Partying

Odom Shooting (Photo credit: compujeramey)

According to insiders, Odom and Kardashian have often clashed over his partying, but that she had kept his addictions secret from her family. According to many who have known Odom well, when things are difficult for him, he likes to get away and hide, which is what some say he did when he took leave from the Mavericks and just recently when he disappeared for a few days. (http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20728355,00.html) Insiders are reporting that Kardashian is contemplating divorce, which will be costly for Odom as there is a strong infidelity clause in the couple’s prenuptial agreement, and there are rumors that Odom has been unfaithful.

High Cost of Addiction

Most of the rumors surrounding the Kardashian Odom marriage are related to the fact that two women have come forward claiming affairs with Odom while he was married to Kardashian, and not due to his drug use. However, the fact that there is a strong fidelity clause in the prenuptial agreement indicates that Kardashian may be unwilling to ignore his dalliances. If it is proven that Odom committed adultry and the couple divorces, Kardashian retains the Tarzana mansion the couple share, $500,000 for every year they were married, two vehicles, shopping money and spousal support. However, many reports continue that infidelity is not the problem in the marriage, but Odom’s continued use of drugs. Odom checked into a San Diego rehab in 2012, but left after only three weeks, and insiders claim that Odom’s recent disappearance was related to an intervention, staged by Kardashian, to encourage him to return to rehab.

Regardless of whether the marriage ends due to infidelity or drug use, it appears that addiction may be a costly proposition for Odom due to the clause in his prenuptial agreement.

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