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Comfort Zone

Even though some people disagree, I am an introvert.

Poker
Poker (Photo credit: Images_of_Money)

Crowds, strangers, and activities I don’t understand are all things that make me uncomfortable.

A couple of weeks ago, my business partner forwarded an invitation to me.  One of our clients  invited us to his annual “Giant-Ass Poker Tournament.”

I haven’t played more than a hand or two of poker in more than 20 years.  If you do the math, that’s junior high school or earlier. I’ve never played Texas Hold ‘Em at all.  Thirty to forty people were expected to be there.

Crowds?  Check.

Strangers?  Check.

An activity I don’t understand?  Check.

I was planning to blow it off.  My partner could handle the social niceties, I could stay home and watch Dexter.  Win/win.

Saturday, I got a text telling me that our client wants to talk business at the tournament.

Cue four letter words.

I tried to get out of it.  I tried to play sick.  My partner–also my best friend and designated extrovert–wouldn’t hear of it.

So I walk into this tournament full of people I don’t know.  I was late.  I thought that would make a good compromise.  I’ll deal with the crowd, and ignore the activity I don’t understand.

First words out of the client’s mouth?  “Jason!  Great to see you, we just started, so let’s buy you in!”

Crap.

I sat out the first game, and talked the business that needed to be talked.  Mission accomplished.

Half an hour into it, my friend sends me a text telling me to do a quick wiki search.

Teach myself to play poker using wikipedia while watching a $50 buy-in game played by experienced players?   That’s effen nuts.

I knew the hands, I was already familiar with the bet/call/raise process in general.   I was really just missing a few details and the mechanics of Hold ‘Em.

What the hell, it’s only $50.

I went out to the living room/bar area and pulled up wikipedia.   After reading everything I could, plus a few terms that had never previously registered (A check isn’t what happens when you bet more than you have.   Who knew?), I went back to the game and watched with a bit of understanding about what I was seeing.

When the second game started, I bought in and played until almost 2AM.  I had a great time and went home $150 richer than I arrived.

Leaving your comfort zone is, by definition, uncomfortable.   Sometimes, it’s downright painful.  Without it, you can’t grow as a person.   Find yourself someone who is willing to obnoxiously drag you into situations that push your limits.   It really can be fun.

 

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Filing Bankruptcy: Pride or Shame?

Schoolchildren line up for free issue of soup ...
Image by State Library of New South Wales collection via Flickr

I’m a big fan of personal responsibility.  If you’ve promised to do something, you should do it. With that said, it seems odd to some people that I don’t have an ethical problem with bankruptcy.  For some people, it is the only option after a long series of problems.

Don’t get me wrong, it should be a shameful decision. Reneging on your word should never be a source of pride.  It should be a difficult decision to make.   A couple of years ago, I came very close to making that decision myself.

It should not be a reason to celebrate and it should absolutely not be a reason to behave irresponsibly.  Some people don’t see a need to take care of their responsibilities because, when it gets bad, they’ll be able to file bankruptcy and make the creditors go away.  They are abusing a safety net.  That abuse hurts everyone.   Credit card companies have to charge higher interest rates so the paying customers can cover the risk of those who default or file bankruptcy.

There is one prominent local bankruptcy attorney who files every 10 years, and has filed consistently for decades.   He runs a thriving practice, so it’s not a matter of poor choices, it’s a matter of deliberately living beyond his means and screwing his creditors.  He’s one of the slime-balls that give lawyers a bad name. He is one of the many who abuse a lifeline designed to save people from a life of destitution they didn’t ask for, and he does it to finance his extravagant lifestyle.

If you have found yourself buried in a debt you didn’t plan for, if life threw you a curve-ball that you are entirely unable to deal with, if you have to file bankruptcy, it’s okay.   Really.   When you go in front of the judge, have the decency not to enjoy it, and try to learn from the experience.

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Jason [at] LiveRealNow [dot] net

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