- I tried to avoid it. I really did, but I’m still getting a much bigger refund than anticipated. #
- Did 100 pushups this morning–in 1 set. New goal: Perfect form by the end of the month. #
- RT @BudgetsAreSexy: Carnival of Personal Finance is live 🙂 DOLLAR DOODLE theme: http://tinyurl.com/ykldt7q (haha…) #
- Hosting my first carnival tomorrow. Up too late tonight. #
- Woot! My boy won his wreslting match! Proud daddy. #
- The Get Home Card is a prepaid emergency transportation card. http://su.pr/329U6L #
- Real hourly wage calculator. http://su.pr/1jV4W6 #
- Took my envelope budget out in cash, including a stack of $2s. That shouldn’t fluster the bank teller. #
How Much is Too Much?
I work.
A lot.
Aside from my day job, I’ve got my gun training classes, this site, advertising and online marketing for a few companies, and a large custom software project. I’m working 60-70 hour weeks and have been for at least 2 years.
When it all started, it was all necessary. We were in debt, I was underpaid for my industry, and we couldn’t make ends meet. Today, our debt is nearly gone, our savings has grown, and I make considerably more money that I did 2 years ago.
But I’m still running as hard as I can.
My wife is unemployed, but I don’t think that matters much. I probably make enough at my day job to cover our lifestyle. I’ll know for sure in 2 weeks when my benefits all kick in.
But I’m still hustling.
When someone calls me up to ask to pay me for a project–a highly skilled, high-margin project–how can I turn them down? When the headlines drive people into my classes, how can I say no to the money?
I’ve been accused of being a workaholic, and I can’t argue with it anymore. I’m working all of the time, and the rest of my life–my marriage, my kids–is suffering for it. I’ve spent so long with not enough, is it possible to just enjoy what I’ve got?
I’ve got no hobbies. I rarely spend time with anyone. I quit working an hour before my kids are asleep, and see them in the morning just long enough to get them to daycare.
I’ve got to scale back. That means my plans to go self-employed are getting paused, but that was mostly an exit strategy for my last job. I enjoy my current job. I’m doing what I love in an industry I care about.
What can I cut?
- This site. I could sell this, make a bit of money and reclaim that time, but I need this vent. I need to be able to talk about my finances and release whatever pressure is building up.
- Gun classes. This business takes up about 10 hours per class, with 1-2 classes per month. It’s not a huge time sink. Right now, business is booming. There is an old saying: “You have to make hay while the sun is shining.” Eventually, the market will slow down, but for now, we’re one of the most successful businesses in our market. I can’t turn this tap off.
- Marketing company. This is the biggest time sink I’ve got. It’s also the most profitable. This is where I spend my time every evening, and where I think I need to wind down. I’ve got a couple of major commitments I can’t back out of, but when they are done, I think this has to go. I simply can’t keep going like this. We’ll keep the business entity, so we’ll be able to say yes to the right projects and be ready to go with the next brilliant idea….crap, there I go again.
My name is Jason, and I’m a workaholic. The idea of shutting down my business hurts, but the idea of losing my wife and kids hurts more. I don’t know how painful winding some of this down will be, but rest assured, I’ll be sharing the progress here.
Quit Smoking: My First Frugal Move…Ever
It’s nearly the 5 year anniversary of my last cigarette, so I though I’d bring this post back to the front page.
A bit over three years ago, we found out that my wife was pregnant with baby #3. When we decided to have #2, it took us two years of trying. Naturally, we assumed we’d have the same issues with #3. Imagine our surprise when it only took 2 weeks. At that point, we were getting ready to celebrate brat #2’s first birthday.
That mean’s 2 kids under 2. Two kids in diapers. Three kids in daycare. Baby formula again.
We weren’t making ends meet with two kids, how were we going to manage three? I dropped my pack-or-two-a-day smoking habit.
But, I’ve gone over that before.
This post is about how I actually quit.
Some Facts About Me
I don’t do things by halves; I tend to do things all the way or not at all. For years, my wife would ask me to cut back, to just smoke a little less, but that never worked. If I had cigarettes, I smoked them. I always had cigarettes. When I eat, I eat. I’ve never managed smaller portions. I used to drink a case of soda each week, just because it was there. Moderation has never been my friend.
As a corollary, I don’t cheat. At anything. Ever. Because of the above fact about myself. I don’t moderate myself when I give myself rules either. If I draw a line, I obsessively avoid crossing it.
The problem comes when I try to give myself a “gray area” rule. “Smoke less” always leaves room for “just one more”, which easily leads to “I only cut out one cigarette yesterday, so what’s the use?” I had to be done.
After smoking for fifteen years–more than a pack a day for at least 12 of those–that’s an intimidating thought.
The Plan
The first thing I did was set a day to quit. I chose the day after my Halloween party. Before that would have been setting myself up for failure. Booze, food, and long conversations in a smoking-friendly environment were just 3 of my many triggers. I always smoked more at my parties, so the day after, I didn’t feel up to smoking much, anyway. I’d just ride that wave of “I don’t feel like it” to to holy city of “I quit”.
I didn’t quit smoking the next day, I just quit buying cigarettes. That left me half a pack to curb my cravings.
I also knew that nicotine cravings are about the most distracting thing I’ve ever had to deal with. That doesn’t make for a productive computer programmer, so I bought a box of the generic patch that Target carries. I started with Phase 2, because I wasn’t interested in prolonging the process. I just didn’t want to spend my work days thinking about smoking instead of designing software. I needed something to take the edge off, without actually smoking.
My plan was to have the patch at work, so I’d be able to work and to stretch those last 10 cigarettes out, as long as possible.
The Result
It worked. The pack lasted 4 days, I think. I smoked during my commute and after dinner. I used the patch only when the cravings got to the point that I couldn’t concentrate. After a week, I stopped using it at all. A few days later, I had a particularly stressful day and cheated. I took 3 puffs of that cigarette and threw it away, because it tasted like crap and I wasn’t enjoying it. That’s when I knew I was successfully done smoking. It was a 10 day variation of “cold turkey”. More than 3 years later, I have an occasional cigar, but never due to a craving. The day I experience a nicotine craving is the day I burn my humidor.
That’s how I quite smoking, strictly to try to get my finances in line. That has saved me at least $10,000 over the last 3 years.
What motivates me financially?
This post was originally written for a blog swap run by the Yakezie personal finance blog network to answer the question “What motivates you to be financially responsible?“
This may not be the most original motivation, but I am financially motivated by my family. Before I had kids, I didn’t care much about money or “stuff”. My goal was to sell everything I owned and backpack Europe. Yeah, it’s a bit cliché, but that’s the way it is. I was also considering trying to live out of saddlebags while touring the country 1000 CCs at a time.
Now, I’ve got so many other considerations. Four, to be exact. A wife and three kids certainly change your perspective. If it doesn’t, you’ve got flaws that I can’t help you with.
When my family started, it was a huge wake-up call. Suddenly, I had responsibilities (cue scary music). Overnight, I had things to care about that didn’t involve a party, or instant gratification, or, well, me. Merlin the Stork floated down, waved a wand and Poof! I was a grown-up. This may not sound like much of a shock, but my wife and I had baby #1 when we were 20. Adulthood was still pretty new to us, and suddenly we’re parents?
As a grown-up, with three precious little monsters dependent on me for absolutely everything, I had to start worrying about their security. This was more than just keeping them physically safe. I’ve had to manage their emotional health, their physical needs, and their entertainment. They rely on me (and my wife!) for everything. How could I live with myself if I couldn’t put food on the table and a roof over their heads? Winter boots? Clothes without holes? Visits to the doctor? Have you ever noticed how much kids cost, even without considering the Japanese fad games and Barbie dreamhouses? Having a kid is like cutting a hole in your wallet and holding it over a blender nestled comfortably in a roaring fire fueled by napalm.
Then, after I’ve got them clothed, fed, sheltered, and entertained, I have to teach them how to be real people. I’m of the opinion that children in their natural state are little more than wild animals. Generally cuter, but that’s about it. It’s a parent’s job to train that ravenous little beast into an acceptable, successful person. Part of that consists of teaching the little brats how to start paying for their own clothes, food, shelter, and entertainment, and how to manage that without becoming a drain on society. Productivity and success can be defined a thousand different ways, but none of them include letting other people pay your way or borrowing money you have no intention or means of repaying. Ultimately, being an adult–being a successful part of society–involves recognizing your responsibilities and living up to them.
Caring for, providing for, and teaching my children the things I know provides me with an irreplaceable opportunity to watch them grow and learn, while giving me a chance to steer that growth. It is, without a doubt, the best, most satisfying, and most difficult thing I have ever done. The pleasure I get from raising my kids reinforces my desire to become the best person I can be.
Really, I just want to be the guy my kids think I am.
Happy Father’s Day: The Benefits of Being a Parent Can’t Be Measured
It’s true that the benefits of a parent cannot be measured or quantified in any meaningful way. It’s hard to put a price on the emotional commitment and special experience of raising a child as a parent, some of which may not even be realized by the parents themselves until afterwards. But it is undeniable that the experience of parenthood is a rewarding and special time in someone’s life.
Side Hustle: The Garage Sale Marketing
By popular demand, here is our garage sale marketing copy.
First, the newspaper ad, which ran in the Sunday edition through Tuesday before the sale:
MOTHER OF ALL GARAGE SALES! 5/13 to 5/15, 8-5!
1000s of items! Furn, crib, electronics, dishes,
cloz from baby to adult fashion!
Lots more!
Next, our Craigslist ad:
Huge sale!
Decades of accumulated stuff from four households!Thousands of items! Yes, thousands!
We’ve got hundreds of outfits for fashion-conscious women and dozens of candles and candle-holders from Partylite!
Our babies keep growing and outgrowing their stuff. Lots of clothes, a changing table, a convertible drop-side crib, a tall dresser, and many, many, MANY toys!
We’ve got clothes in a variety of sizes: newborn through preschool, boy’s clothes from kindergarten through almost junior high school, adult clothes for both men and women.
There’s a china cabinet/hutch, a curio cabinet, 3 computer desks, a butcher-block kitchen table, a toddler bed and more! The bed and the crib even come with the mattresses, which we kept wrapped in a protective sheet the entire time they were used!
Antiques, toys from our childhood, hundreds of books and movies and much, much more!
Extra computer equipment for the true geek in your life! Boxes of RAM and video cards, a small LCD monitor that’s perfect for putting a computer in your car. I upgrade and replace my computers often. Here’s your chance to upgrade for just a couple of dollars.
Shoes! Holy cow, do we have shoes! New in the box, never been worn, selling for a buck! You can’t beat that price!
Jackets galore! There are a couple of dozen jackets ready to go. Spring and winter, sizes for all ages, including snow suits for babies and toddlers. We’ve got hats and gloves. Don’t miss this opportunity to outfit your kids and grandkids for the upcoming winter. It’s never too early!
We’re even getting rid of some tools and gear for the garage. There’s a 12-volt refrigerator/food-warmer. That’s a fridge for your car or camper! Also a variety of tools and a snowblower. You don’t want to miss this!
Last, but certainly not least:
A 1986 Honda Shadow VT700.
11,000 miles and two owners.
This is in excellent condition. It’s got almost no rust, just a few spots on the exhaust. It starts with no effort every spring. New tires, brakes, and a carb rebuild just a couple of seasons ago. New leather on the seats last fall. It’s a beauty.
Only $2750.Thursday, May 13th through Saturday, May 15th. 8AM to 5PM
Address redacted.
Note: The entire series is contained in the Garage Sale Manual on the sidebar.