- Up at 5 two days in a row. Sleepy. #
- May your…year be filled w/ magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you…kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful. @neilhimself #
- Woo! First all-cash grocery trip ever. Felt neat. #
- I accidentally took a 3 hour nap yesterday, so I had a hard time sleeping. 5am is difficult. #
- Wee! Got included in the Carnival of Personal Finance, again. http://su.pr/2AKnDB #
- Son’s wrestling season starts in two days. My next 3 months just got hectic. #
- RT @Moneymonk: A real emergency is something that threatens your survival, not just your desire to be comfortable -David Bach # [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-09
Deathbed Regrets
A friend recently pointed me to an article written by a hospice nurse. This nurse spent her career working with people who were dying, beyond recovery, and aware of it. Her job, primarily, was to provide comfort, whether that be physical or emotional.
During her conversations, she found several themes when her patients discussed their regrets and she lists the 5 most common regrets in her article.
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I don’t see this one being an issue for me. While I did buy in to a standard life template (college, wife, kids, suburbs, office, etc.), I am me. I am undeniably me.
I’d be delusional to think that I wasn’t a bit…different. I see things differently than a lot of other people, I react differently, and I’m vocal about it. That sometimes makes it hard to get close to me. I doubt anyone who is close to me would argue with that.
I also tend to do things. Most people talk about doing things, I try to make them happen. “I wish I were out of debt”, “Honey, I want to start a business”, “Let’s drop 40 pounds this year”, or “I want to build a trebuchet”. I think I know why my wife gets nervous when I say “I have an idea”.
I may not be running anyone else’s script, but at the end of the day, I’d regret not doing things more than I’d regret trying them.
I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This one is a personal struggle for me. I’m scared of missing my children grow up. I hate the idea of looking back and finding my children as adults, with few memories of how they got there.
At the same time, I’ve got a pile of debt I need to get rid of before I can dial back too far. I could quit my job tomorrow, but that wouldn’t be providing a good life for them.
My worry, and the worry of some people close to me, is that, once the debt is gone, I won’t be able to let go of my extreme work hours, even though I’m working so hard now to be able to work less later. “Later”, in this case, means a couple of years, not retirement.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Ugh. Feelings. If this is a standard deathbed regret, I’m screwed. My loved ones know I love them, but other than that, I’m happy to be in control of myself.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I do. It’s not always close contact, but it is contact.
I’m of the opinion that life’s too short to spend time with people you dislike, so some people have been relegated to the past. My friends, my family, my loved ones are a part of my life, even if it’s occasionally months between emails or years between visits.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
I think I do pretty well on this front, too. Happiness is a choice. I could worry about all of the things that aren’t perfect, or I could enjoy the things I have. I choose to enjoy what I’ve got, even while trying to improve the rest.
In the words of Denis Leary : “Happiness comes in small doses folks. It’s a cigarette, or a chocolate cookie, or a five second orgasm. That’s it, ok! [You] eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep, you get up in the morning and go to…work, ok!? That is it!”
Happiness isn’t a hobby farm, a new job, or a dream vacation. Happiness is a date with my wife, or cuddling with my kids to Saturday morning cartoons, or taking my son to the range.
Happiness is the things I’m doing now, not the dreams I’m hoping for someday.
Letterboxing
This week, I’ve been taking my kids letterboxing.
We go to a letterboxing site(either LBNA or Atlas Quest), choose a letterbox, then follow the clues. When we find the letterbox, we stamp our letterbox journal with the stamp we find there and stamp the book we find with our stamp.
It’s similar to geocaching, but without a gps.
Even as a grown-up, I get a bit of a tingle when we uncover the prize.
One of the clues we followed yesterday was this one:
To find this place, travel north with Hiawatha’s grandmother. She will bring you close to the spot. For the first part of the trip, the grandmother will become one with the number equal to the age of the oldest person Jerry Rubin trusted. On the north side of town, she will decide not to head toward the east, and she will become the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. Make the change with her, and right away you will find yourself to the west of a Holiday. On the right side of the road will be a brown sign pointing you to your destination. Leave the Grandmother to travel north without you, and follow the directions on this sign. You want to find the place where the City lets you Park (at least from 8 am to 9:30 pm). If you avoid the Dead Ends, you will find a parking lot. Leave your vehicle, and walk toward the water. If you turn toward the place where Henry meets Agnes, you will walk past the swimming area, and come to the numbers in triangles. Just past the 7s, 8s, and 10s, you will reach your destination, and find the place where Close only Counts. In the middle of this place, there will be a two-trunked tree. Standing with your back to this tree, and facing the lake, you will see three trees at the shoreline. Walk to these trees, and look under the leaves, under one of the roots sticking out of the ground near the right-hand tree. That is where you will find the letterbox.
Unfortunately, the letterbox had been stolen, and a wasp nest left in its place. I’d never actually been attacked by wasps before.
Until yesterday.
Not recommended.
We found a different letterbox hidden behind a loose stone surrounding a fire pit in a public park. Another was buried at the base of a tree a mile around a lake at a nature center near my house. A third was hidden in a hollow tree stump near a major intersection near my house.
Each one has been a different adventure, and each one has made my kids smile. Even the “I hate everything” 12 year old gets into it. The 4 and 5 year olds are asking if we can plant a letterbox.
To get started, you need a notebook to record your adventures, a $2 ink pad, and a slightly unique rubber stamp. That way, you can record your findings both in the letterbox and in the notebook you bring home.
For less than $10, you can get started, make some memories, and get some exercise.
Have you ever tried letterboxing or geocaching?
Where the hell have I been?
For the last year or so, I haven’t been writing much, which feels weird. I used to write three timer per week. I’d write about saving money, investing, frugality, sometimes, relationships and parenting.
But that stopped. Why?
When I started this site, I was about $110,000 in debt, and just starting my journey out of it. A few months before, I was looking into bankruptcy, because I didn’t know how to get out of debt.
For years, the ways I saved money, cut corners, and earned extra money was fodder for this site. Everything I did was about saving money, earning money, and paying off debt.
Now? I’m about 2 months away from being completely debt-free. I paid my mortgage off last month, and have about $10,000 in credit card debt at the moment. I know, I paid that off backwards, but there are reasons. Reasons I’ll share another time.
4 years ago, I was essentially working 4 jobs. My day job, my gun training business, my internet marketing business, and my websites(including this one). I was working all of the time. It was necessary, but it’s a path to burnout. Then, I changed jobs a couple of times, nearly doubling my day job’s pay. My business partner got promoted out of a position that generated leads for one of our businesses, then had an accident that the other shared business on hold for a while.
Suddenly, I had free time and enough money coming in that I didn’t need to work all of the time. It was a crazy place to be after spending more than a decade pretending to be a workaholic just to keep my head above water. (Here’s a secret: I’m incredibly lazy. I’m just the busiest lazy man I know.) So I started pursuing hobbies.
Linda and I have been taking ballroom dancing lessons and are nearly to the point that competing is a real possibility.
I cleaned out my garage and assembled a decent wood shop, which is something I’ve wanted to do roughly forever.
I’ve been taking blacksmithing lessons with my teenage son.
I’ve been playing games with my kids, dating my wife, and simply enjoying my life.
This site?
Through all of that, I haven’t known what to write about.
“Dear audience, this month, I paid my bills, didn’t go on vacation, and bought a drill press.”
“Dear audience, my debt went down another $500 this month.”
“Dear audience, I didn’t buy a car I can’t afford this month. Again.”
Those aren’t good articles. Financially–while paying off debt is disturbingly exciting–my life is very repetitive. That’s the hardest part about paying off a lot of debt. It’s good, it’s necessary, it’s boring. My wins have been spaced out by several years lately, and I haven’t been creatively frugal. Screw frugal. If you can afford some conveniences and luxuries, frugal sucks.
Anything new happening in my world that would apply to this site would make it read like an accountant’s ledger book. $100,000 minus $1500 plus $10,000 minus $300, ad nauseum.
Instead of inflicting boring accountancy on you, I’ve been absent.
What next? Who knows. I enjoy writing. I enjoy writing here. I’ve started writing a novel.
What would you like to see here?
10 Top Tips for Reducing Household Expenses
Regardless of the economic climate, it is always a savvy move to assess your expenditure and look for ways to cut your energy costs. Small changes can make a big difference to your energy efficiency and reduce your outgoings significantly.
1. Know Your Accurate Energy Usage
Do not pay for estimated resources. Using a smart meter will tell your exact energy consumption and means you simply pay for your actual confirmed gas usage. So many customers are unknowingly trapped into paying for estimated energy, which can be very costly.
2. Secure an Suitable Tariff
Once you have established your actual gas and electric consumption using a smart meter, speak your energy supplier regarding the various available tariffs.
There are over 120 tariffs available for energy in the UK and there is definitely one to suit all households. Being more assertive in this area can save you money instantly.
3. Let There Be (Energy Efficient) Light
Lighting accounts for up to 40 per cent of our individual electricity bills.
Change light bulbs to energy saving bulbs for a progressive way of reducing your energy expenses. As energy efficient bulbs last ten times longer than normal high-watt bulbs, any cost in making this switch will be quickly recuperated.
Although many days in the UK are dismal, cleaning windows and opening blinds means that rooms can generally be lit with natural light.
4. Don’t Tumble Dry
Tumble drying your clothes is one of the most financially and environmentally expensive appliance usages. Though energy efficient products are now available, try to make use of any other means you have for drying clothes.
During the winter months, fill indoor clothing racks and radiators within items to be dried. Summer washing is generally less of a problem, with warmer temperatures meaning you can hang loads of washing outside to dry naturally.
5. Switch Off Electrical Equipment
Turning your electronic equipment off at night can cause impressive yearly reductions in your expenditure. Encourage the family to turn all laptops, consoles and computers off during the night, and unplug phone chargers when not in use.
Simply switching off a computer overnight saves £35 on the cost of running the equipment 24 hours over the course of a year. Once you have factored in the number of computers and other electronic equipment in your home, this could amount to quite a saving.
6. Moderate Your Heating
Turn your heating down by just one degree. Such an unnoticeable alteration to your thermostat holds the potential to cut your energy bills by a whopping £55 per year.
Enhance your savings by becoming more energy efficient. Rather than switching on heating and cooling systems, use doors and windows to regulate temperature.
7. Invest In Energy Saving Appliances
Most appliances on the market now offer detailed insight into their environmental impact. Buying eco-friendly products not only benefits the climate, it also benefits your pocket. The lower the amount of energy the appliances consume always equals lower energy bills for your household.
8. Reduce Water Waste
A dripping tap can cost up to £400 per year. Paying out for plumbing services now will definitely save on your water bill.
Rather than bathing daily, swap alternate baths for showers. Showers typically use 35 litres of water, whereas baths take more than double this amount at 80 litre of water per tub. Though this varies depending on the type of your shower, according to South Staffs Water, power showers still save approximately 20 litres on the average bath.
9. Replace Your Old Boiler
If your home currently uses an old G-rated boiler, of 15 years of age or more, then you may find that investing in a new A-rated boiler will save you money long term.
Gas burning boilers eat energy and money and are a costly way of fuelling your home. The government currently offers £400 to those who are looking to purchase a new energy efficient boiler, with companies such as British Gas doubling this grant.
10. Insulate Your Home
Alongside grants for new A-rated boilers, companies are being encouraged by the government to offer discounted (and free) loft and wall cavity insulation. Take the time to see if you are eligible for this as it can make your home significantly warmer, reducing your reliance on central heating.
Be assertive to how you are using resources within your home, small changes can make a big ecological and economic difference.
This is a guest post.
First 3 Things to Do in the New Year
- Image by iowa_spirit_walker via Flickr
With the new year looming, it’s the perfect time to review the things that may not have gone as well as planned in the current year, and plan ahead for the coming year, to make sure things go well from now on.
To get a good start in the new year, you should focus on three things.
1. Budget.
A good budget is the basis of every successful financial plan. If you don’t have a budget, you have now way of knowing how much money you have to spend on your necessities or you luxuries. Do you really want to guess about whether or not you can afford to get your car fixed, or braces for your kid? I’ve gone over all of the essentials to make a budget before. Now is the perfect time to review that series and make sure your own budget is functional and ready for the new year.
At the same time, spend some time thinking about how your what has gone wrong with your budget over the previous year. In my case, when we got back from vacation in August, our mindset had changed a bit about spending money, and we got out of the habit of staying strictly on budget. By the time we got back on track, it was Christmas and our plans got shot, again. If it weren’t for my side hustles–money that I don’t track in the budget because the money isn’t consistent, yet–we would have had some serious problems this fall. Where have you gone wrong, and what could you do to improve next year?
2. Credit Cards and New Debt.
In the new year, if you haven’t already done so, make sure you throw your credit cards away. The most basic law of debt reduction is, “If you don’t stop using debt, you’ll never be out of debt.” That’s why you need to set up your budget first. Make sure that your expenses are less than your income, so you can make ends meet without having to charge the difference.
How has your debt use worked out over the last year? Have you used it at all, or have you eliminated the desire to pay interest? What have you used your credit cards for? How much of that could you have done without?
3. Estate Planning.
Now is the time to make sure that all affairs are in order, if the worst should happen. If you die, what happens to your money? Your kids? I’ve gone over everything you need in an estate plan before, so I won’t beat that horse again. You owe it to your family to make sure they are taken care of if something should happen to you. At a bare minimum, write a will and get it notarized.
Have you putting off writing your will? You know you need one, but it’s a morbid thought, so it’s easy to put off, right? Get over it. If you love your family, you’ll do better and get your affairs together next year.
That’s a good financial start for 2011. What are you missing in your financial life?
