- Up at 5 two days in a row. Sleepy. #
- May your…year be filled w/ magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you…kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful. @neilhimself #
- Woo! First all-cash grocery trip ever. Felt neat. #
- I accidentally took a 3 hour nap yesterday, so I had a hard time sleeping. 5am is difficult. #
- Wee! Got included in the Carnival of Personal Finance, again. http://su.pr/2AKnDB #
- Son’s wrestling season starts in two days. My next 3 months just got hectic. #
- RT @Moneymonk: A real emergency is something that threatens your survival, not just your desire to be comfortable -David Bach # [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-09
Money Problems – Day 1: Setting Goals
Today, I am starting a series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances. The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances. It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear. Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.
I’m not going to run the series in 30 consecutive days. That’s not my schedule. Also, I think that talking about the same thing for 30 days straight will bore both of us. Instead, it will run roughly once a week. To make sure you don’t miss a post, please take a moment to subscribe, either by email or rss.
In this, the first installment, we’re going to talk about goals.
First, we’re going to ask 3 questions.
- What is your financial goal?
- Why?
- How can you get there?
The first question is “What is your goal?” Of course, in this series, on this site, we’re only going to be addressing your financial goals. Losing 300 pounds, growing wings, and flying to the moon may be an admirable goal, but it’s considerably outside of the scope of this project.
So, what is your financial goal? Do you want to retire a millionaire, or become financially independent? Do you want to pay off your debt, or save enough money to see the world? Do you want to learn how to retire by 40?
Your goal does not matter…to anyone but you. To you, though, it is terribly important. Without a goal, how can you measure you progress and see what you have accomplished? It’s easy to get frustrated and give up when you can’t look back and see what successes you have actually accumulated.
Whatever your goal, you have to do two things:
- Don’t let anyone tell you it is stupid or impossible. There is a quote that I can’t find attribution for, other than as an old Chinese proverb: “Those that say it can’t be done should get out of the way of those doing it.”
- Write it down and hang it up. This lets you see your goal every day. It will be impossible to forget and difficult to ignore. I have Dave Ramsey‘s Baby Steps hanging on my refrigerator where I see it a dozen times per day.
The second major question to ask yourself is “Why?” Why is this goal important to you? Why do you care?
If you can’t answer that, it’s time to sit back and think about it for a while. Without a solid reason to succeed, you’ll lose motivation and fail. Are you getting out of debt to give yourself a secure retirement? Do you want to save to travel the world because you’ve been dreaming about it since you were in diapers? Do you simply want to provide a secure future for your family? Whatever your reason, it is–and should be–uniquely yours.
The third and final question is “How can you make it happen?” That question has an extremely simple answer: read the rest of the series.
No Brakes
Growing up, I was mostly poor, but I didn’t realize it. The electricity was never shut off and I never missed a meal, but there was rarely money for anything extra. Clothes were only purchased immediately before school started. Shoes were always at least one size too big. Hand-me-downs were a way of life. With very rare exceptions, new toys were given on birthdays and at Christmas. As a Christmas baby, this was unfortunate. If I wanted something during the year, I had to buy it. I had an allowance on and off–more off than on–for a few years. So, I got my first job-a paper route-when I was six. Most of the toys I accumulated as a child, I bought.
Through all of this, my parents never said “We can’t afford it.” I was simply told that if I wanted something, I could either save my money or wait for Christmas. I never saw my parents paying bills, but they got paid. I never saw a checkbook get balanced, but it did. There were only a few times money management was ever mentioned, even in passing.
Naturally, when I moved out on my own, I expected money to take care of itself, just as it had the entire time I was growing up. That wasn’t terrible until I got married, bought a house, built an addition and decided a needed a new car. There was nothing in me to apply the brakes. I can count the number of missed payments I’ve had on one hand-with fingers left over. I can’t begin to guess the number of purchases, both large and small, that I should have skipped but didn’t.
Shortages growing up coupled with absolutely no budget training turned into financial irresponsibility as an adult.
My wife grew up with almost the exact opposite training. She was also poor, but the household budget was clearly in evidence and generally taken to an extreme. Her training involved getting “the best bang for the buck”. If an item was on sale and could potentially be useful, her mother bought five. I don’t mean five similar variations. That’s five identical products, same size, same color. She still has a display box full of screwdrivers with interchangeable tips. It looked useful and it was on sale, so she bought them all.
Through all of that, the bills were always paid.
This training has made it difficult for my wife to turn down a sale price. If something is on sale-or worse, clearance-there is an excellent chance it will be coming to our house. Once again, there are no brakes.
Shortages growing up coupled with almost two decades of watching every sale turn into a purchase has turned into financial irresponsibility growing up.
Neither one of us were prepared to handle the financial aspect of being an adult. That is something we intend to improve on for our children. We intend to give them the ability to brake themselves.
Decision Making Made Easy
Have you ever had to make a difficult decision? Not necessarily a decision that’s difficult because it’s life-changing, but a decision that’s difficult because there are two phenomenally wonderful, yet mutually exclusive options?
For example:
- Should you put caramel or strawberry sauce on your ice cream?
- Should you go to Disney Land or Disney World?
- Should you subscribe to Live Real, Now by email or RSS?
- Should you take the job with the stellar benefits package or the higher salary?
These are all real decisions that you may be called on to make.
For most decisions, there are some alternatives that are easy to discard.
MadDog 20/20 isn’t a good alternative to caramel sauce on your ice cream. The local BDSM museum probably isn’t a great choice for a family vacation. Sending me hate mail is obviously worse than subscribing.
Then you’ve got some choices that are both okay, but one is clearly better. You’ve got free airfare and hotel. Do you go to Topeka, or Paris? Neither is horribly, but I think the choice is obvious. You’re going out to dinner. McDonald’s or…nevermind, this fits the first category.
After you’ve discarded the obvious bad choices and the okay-but-not-great choices, how can you decide between what’s left?
This is the point that starts to cause stress. What if you make the wrong choice? What if you regret it forever? What if you’re still not happy? Gridlock.
The reason your stuck is because it’s not apparent which is the better choice. All of your experiences and knowledge are telling you–on some level–that the options are identical in terms of your life, happiness, and goals. It truly does not matter which one you choose. You will probably be equally happy, either way.
Given that it doesn’t matter, you have two choices for making the final decision:
- Pick the one you want. The rational decision is a tie, so make it an emotional one. Does one job match your dreams, but with a bit more risk? Has one vacation destination been a goal since you were little? Do it!
- Flip a coin. If the decision doesn’t matter, leave it to fate. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you can always blame the quarter.
The one thing you don’t want to do is wait. Failing to decide is still a decision and one that is guaranteed to keep you from being satisfied with your choice. Don’t wait until you have all of the possible information, because that kind of perfect world doesn’t exist. Get to about 85% of fully informed and run with it. You’ll usually be happier making a decision–even the wrong one–than sitting back wondering “What if I had done that?”
How do you make hard decisions?
Sunday Roundup: Diet Redux
I had total diet fail last month.
From April to May, across 4 consecutive weekends, I put a bit over 1500 miles on my car on 4 separate trips. That is something like 10 times my average mileage.
That’s a lot of driving, squeezed around a regular schedule of work. Have you ever tried a drive through for low-carb food? Because of that, and the circumstances of some of my trips, I abandoned my diet on those weekends. Funeral food is rarely low-carb.
By the time those trips were over, I had spent so much time off my diet that “What’s one more sandwich?” became an easy justification. There is a reason I don’t break the rules I give myself. I can’t seem to cheat just once. Once I cross that line, it’s over.
So, instead of cheating on my diet and feeling guilty, I officially dropped it for most of the month of May. I decided it would be easier to get it out of my system than to continue worrying about it.
May’s over, and I’m back on the Slow Carb diet. My little fail cost me 7 pounds and 6.5 total inches(waist , hips, biceps, and thighs). I’m reasonably sure that most of that is water and will evaporate before next weekend.
Best Posts
My goal is to live my life so that I have no regrets at the end of it. That means pursuing my dreams and doing the things I love.
It’s easier to do the things I love when my life isn’t weighed down by the crap I don’t need.
Sweating the Big Stuff wrote a killer post on saving money simply by asking. Often, the easy things work.
Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled
Shopping Online: The Money-Saving Secret was included in the Festival of Frugality.
Money Problems: Paying Off Debt was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
5 Ways to Help Your Friends Stay Out of Debt was included in the Totally Money Blog Carnival.
Should Pupils Focus on Personal Finance was included in the Yakezie Carnival.
Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.
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Have a great week!
Letterboxing
This week, I’ve been taking my kids letterboxing.
We go to a letterboxing site(either LBNA or Atlas Quest), choose a letterbox, then follow the clues. When we find the letterbox, we stamp our letterbox journal with the stamp we find there and stamp the book we find with our stamp.
It’s similar to geocaching, but without a gps.
Even as a grown-up, I get a bit of a tingle when we uncover the prize.
One of the clues we followed yesterday was this one:
To find this place, travel north with Hiawatha’s grandmother. She will bring you close to the spot. For the first part of the trip, the grandmother will become one with the number equal to the age of the oldest person Jerry Rubin trusted. On the north side of town, she will decide not to head toward the east, and she will become the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. Make the change with her, and right away you will find yourself to the west of a Holiday. On the right side of the road will be a brown sign pointing you to your destination. Leave the Grandmother to travel north without you, and follow the directions on this sign. You want to find the place where the City lets you Park (at least from 8 am to 9:30 pm). If you avoid the Dead Ends, you will find a parking lot. Leave your vehicle, and walk toward the water. If you turn toward the place where Henry meets Agnes, you will walk past the swimming area, and come to the numbers in triangles. Just past the 7s, 8s, and 10s, you will reach your destination, and find the place where Close only Counts. In the middle of this place, there will be a two-trunked tree. Standing with your back to this tree, and facing the lake, you will see three trees at the shoreline. Walk to these trees, and look under the leaves, under one of the roots sticking out of the ground near the right-hand tree. That is where you will find the letterbox.
Unfortunately, the letterbox had been stolen, and a wasp nest left in its place. I’d never actually been attacked by wasps before.
Until yesterday.
Not recommended.
We found a different letterbox hidden behind a loose stone surrounding a fire pit in a public park. Another was buried at the base of a tree a mile around a lake at a nature center near my house. A third was hidden in a hollow tree stump near a major intersection near my house.
Each one has been a different adventure, and each one has made my kids smile. Even the “I hate everything” 12 year old gets into it. The 4 and 5 year olds are asking if we can plant a letterbox.
To get started, you need a notebook to record your adventures, a $2 ink pad, and a slightly unique rubber stamp. That way, you can record your findings both in the letterbox and in the notebook you bring home.
For less than $10, you can get started, make some memories, and get some exercise.
Have you ever tried letterboxing or geocaching?
