- @Elle_CM Natalie's raid looked like it was filmed with a strobe light. Lame CGI in reply to Elle_CM #
- I want to get a toto portable bidet and a roomba. Combine them and I'll have outsourced some of the least tasteful parts of my day. #
- RT @freefrombroke: RT @moneybeagle: New Blog Post: Money Hacks Carnival #115 http://goo.gl/fb/AqhWf #
- TED.com: The neurons that shaped civilization. http://su.pr/2Qv4Ay #
- Last night, fell in the driveway: twisted ankle and skinned knee. Today, fell down the stairs: bruise makes sitting hurt. Bad morning. #
- RT @FrugalDad: And to moms, please be more selective about the creeps you let around your child. Takes a special guy to be a dad to another' #
- First Rule of Blogging: Don't let real life get in the way. Epic fail 2 Fridays in a row. But the garage sale is going well. #
$1,000,000 Business Idea
I’m sick of working my day job.
I’m sick of working my side hustles.
I’m sick of working.
To make up for all of that, I’m going to launch a new business. My business model is guaranteed to generate $1,000,000 in revenue the first month.
Seriously.
It’s going to be a father/son enterprise, and to prove that the business model scales, I’m going to help him generate another $1,000,000 in revenue the first month.
This plan is infinitely replicable and infinitely scalable. Steal my business plan and you can have a million dollar business, too.
Ready?
First, my son is going to sell his XBox for $100. Yes, he’s taking a loss, but that’s the cost of getting into the business. Oh, and he’s selling it to me.
$100 for him.
Second, I’m going to sell it back to him for $100.
$100 for me.
He sells it to me for $100.
$200 for him.
I sell it to him for $100.
$200 for me.
If we do this just 9,998 more times, we’ll have generated $1,000,000 in revenue. At 1 minute per transaction, I figure we can both be running million dollar business after just 2 weeks of full-time work.
That’s a two-week vacation every single month.
Phenomenal plan.
Some of the haters are going to explode with comments about “profit” and “expenses”, but I don’t care. Cash flow is king. They can sit at home and whine about their $50,000 jobs while I’m making millions. Sure, my profit (the money leftover after expenses are taken from the revenue) is on the low side, but I can make that up in volume.
Millions.
If I do this every month, I’ll be sitting on a $12,000,000 business. I bet I can sell that for 5 times my annual profits.
Any buyers out there?
Any entrepreneurs ready to copy my business model?
Anybody have a better grasp of the difference between cash flow and profit than I do?
Good Friday
We don’t have daycare on Good Friday.
We do, however, both have to work today. Two rounds of little-girl tonsillitis have zapped our available vacation time.
On an entirely related note, we put our 12 year old son through Red Cross babysitter training a few weeks ago, just for something like this.
My wife gets nervous at the idea of leaving the girls with the boy for very long. I think she thinks the world will explode if he takes care of them correctly.
Our solution for today is to have a slightly older friend come over and help.
She’s 13 and she brought her 10 year old brother with her.
That’s kids aged 3,5,10,12, and 13 in my house today. Total Lord of the Flies.
Hold that thought.
My son, being 12, doesn’t feel it’s necessary to brush his hair for school, or change his clothes every day, and he needs to be reminded to brush his teeth.
This morning, he woke himself up and ran into the bathroom. He emerged with clean teeth and combed hair. I asked him if he was wearing the same shirt as yesterday, and he flew into his room to change.
Hmm. Something is afoot.
While I was putting my shoes on, I reminded him to take care of the house and his sisters, and he made some smart-aleck joke in response.
She giggled.
Watson, I think I’ve found a clue.
Her father told me, just yesterday, the she thinks boys are gross.
The boy has never shown an interest in girls, until this morning.
Grr. The next decade just got considerably more interesting.
Time to lock them both in their respective basements until college.
How come my back hurts?
My favorite book series is the Sword of Truth by Terry Goodkind. It’s a good sword-and-sorcery, good-versus-evil fantasy.
But I’m not here to talk about that series. Rather, I’m going to talk about one particular scene in book 6, Faith of the Fallen.
There’s a scene where Richard, the protagonist, ends up in a socialist workers’ paradise, where the government controls distribution and everybody is starving. Jobs are hard to come by, because everything is unionized and unions control access to work. That’s a non-accidental parallel to every country that has embrace socialist principles, or even leans that way. Go open a business with employees in France, I dare you.
So Richard goes out of his way to help someone with no expectation of reward. This person then offers to vouch for him at the union meeting, effectively offering him a job.
This is the conversation that follows:
Nicci shook her head in disgust. “Ordinary people don’t have your luck, Richard. Ordinary people suffer and struggle while your luck gets you into a job.”
“If it was luck,” Richard asked, “then how come my back hurts?”
If it was luck, how come my back hurts?
Seneca, a 2000-year-dead Roman philosopher said, “Luck is where the crossroads of opportunity and preparation meet.”
I won’t lie, I’ve got a pretty cushy job. I make decent money, I work from home, I love my company’s mission, and I kind of fell into the job.
By fell into, I mean:
- I started teaching myself to program computers when I was 7.
- I worked in a collection agency collecting on defaulted student loans to put myself through college while I had a baby at home.
- When I graduated, I went out of my way to help anyone I could, which positioned me for a promotion, getting my first programming job. The first one is the hardest.
- I spent 3 years studying the online marketing aspects of what I’m doing, with no promise of a payoff.
- I launched a side business in the same industry as the company I work for.
- I built a relationship with an author to include his books in the classes I teach. He happened to move to the company I’m with.
- I offered advice–for free, on a regular basis–on certain aspects of his business and his responsibilities with this company.
- He offered me a job.
That’s 25 years and tens of thousands of dollars spent earning my luck. How come my back hurts?
I have a friend on disability. He has a couple of partially-shattered vertebrae in his back, but he keeps pushing off the corrective surgery because the payments would stop after he heals. He refuses to get a regular job, because his payments would stop. He lives on $400 per month and whatever he can hustle for cash, and he will make just that until the day he dies. And he complains about his bad luck.
His back literally hurts, but not metaphorically. His bad luck is the product of deliberately holding himself down to keep that free check flowing.
I have another friend who made some bad decisions young. Some years ago, he decided that was over. He took custody of his kid and started a business that rode the housing bubble. When the bubble popped, so did his business. Instead of whining about his luck, he worked his way into an entry-level banking job.
He put in long (long!) hours, bending over backwards to help his customers and coworkers, and managed a few promotions, far earlier than normal. His coworkers whined about it. He’s so lucky. If it was luck, why does his back hurt?
We make our own luck.
If you bust your ass, working hard and helping people–your coworkers, your customers, your friends, your neighbors–and you are willing to seize an opportunity when it appears, you will get ahead. When you do, the people around you who do the bare minimum, who refuse–or are afraid–to seize an opportunity, who always ask what’s in it for them, they will will whine about your luck.
When they do, you will get to ask, “If it was luck, how come my back hurts?”
Side Hustle: The Garage Sale Marketing
By popular demand, here is our garage sale marketing copy.
First, the newspaper ad, which ran in the Sunday edition through Tuesday before the sale:
MOTHER OF ALL GARAGE SALES! 5/13 to 5/15, 8-5!
1000s of items! Furn, crib, electronics, dishes,
cloz from baby to adult fashion!
Lots more!
Next, our Craigslist ad:
Huge sale!
Decades of accumulated stuff from four households!Thousands of items! Yes, thousands!
We’ve got hundreds of outfits for fashion-conscious women and dozens of candles and candle-holders from Partylite!
Our babies keep growing and outgrowing their stuff. Lots of clothes, a changing table, a convertible drop-side crib, a tall dresser, and many, many, MANY toys!
We’ve got clothes in a variety of sizes: newborn through preschool, boy’s clothes from kindergarten through almost junior high school, adult clothes for both men and women.
There’s a china cabinet/hutch, a curio cabinet, 3 computer desks, a butcher-block kitchen table, a toddler bed and more! The bed and the crib even come with the mattresses, which we kept wrapped in a protective sheet the entire time they were used!
Antiques, toys from our childhood, hundreds of books and movies and much, much more!
Extra computer equipment for the true geek in your life! Boxes of RAM and video cards, a small LCD monitor that’s perfect for putting a computer in your car. I upgrade and replace my computers often. Here’s your chance to upgrade for just a couple of dollars.
Shoes! Holy cow, do we have shoes! New in the box, never been worn, selling for a buck! You can’t beat that price!
Jackets galore! There are a couple of dozen jackets ready to go. Spring and winter, sizes for all ages, including snow suits for babies and toddlers. We’ve got hats and gloves. Don’t miss this opportunity to outfit your kids and grandkids for the upcoming winter. It’s never too early!
We’re even getting rid of some tools and gear for the garage. There’s a 12-volt refrigerator/food-warmer. That’s a fridge for your car or camper! Also a variety of tools and a snowblower. You don’t want to miss this!
Last, but certainly not least:
A 1986 Honda Shadow VT700.
11,000 miles and two owners.
This is in excellent condition. It’s got almost no rust, just a few spots on the exhaust. It starts with no effort every spring. New tires, brakes, and a carb rebuild just a couple of seasons ago. New leather on the seats last fall. It’s a beauty.
Only $2750.Thursday, May 13th through Saturday, May 15th. 8AM to 5PM
Address redacted.
Note: The entire series is contained in the Garage Sale Manual on the sidebar.
Rental Property Update
As I’ve mentioned before, we are fixing up the house we inherited in April to rent it out.
We already have renters lined up starting in February. My wife has known the couple for several years, so we’re not worried about strangers wrecking the place. We will be doing a lease, because skipping that is dumb, even if you know the tenants. They will be paying $1200 per month, plus electric, water, and garbage. We’ll be covering gas and–of course–property taxes. We’re paying the gas bill because we’re going to have most of the appliances on the repair plan through the gas company so we won’t have to worry about appliances breaking.
Those expenses will run about $325 per month, leaving $875 as profit. We’ll probably save another $200 of that to cover future vacancies and for property issues that I’m not foreseeing, leaving $675 to save and invest.
Over the summer, we have spent quite a bit of money fixing the place up.
- Dumpsters x3, $1200. Did I mention my mother-in-law was a hoarder?
- New boiler, $4500.
- Electrical repair, including running power to the garage, $1400.
- Plumbing & gas repair, $900.
- New stove & refrigerator, $1000.
- Landscaping, $2500.
- Other repairs, $8000.
So far, we have spent about $19,500 fixing this place up. There is still a bit of work left to do.
Are we done?
Crap, no.
- We have two rooms of stuff that we need to research and price individually before we sell. This includes some old cameras, typewriters, and collectibles.
- We need to buff and polish the hardwood floors that are in surprisingly good shape.
- We have to scrub the entire house. Cobwebs and mouse crap show up in interesting places when 90% of your house is buried for most of 30 years.
- We have to clean the last of the debris out of the basement. This, and some other stuff, will mean yet another dumpster.
- We have to paint walls and ceilings all over the house and the basement floor.
The to-do list will come with a price tag somewhere between $1000 and $1500.
That comes out to about $21,000 spent to make $675 per month. In just 3 years, the property will be turning a profit, then it becomes an actual profit center for us, hopefully forever. The expenses are all tax deductible, but only as depreciation, which means the cost has to get deducted a bit at a time over the course of the next 5 to 30 years.
On the other hand, we could probably sell the place for $200,000. It’s going to take 25 years of renting to make up that difference.
