- Time to steal my son’s Wii. RT @fcn: Dang, watch Hulu on your Wii… http://bit.ly/9c0U8F #
- RT @FrugalDad: 29 Semi-Productive Things I Do Online When I’m Trying to Avoid Real Work: http://bit.ly/a4mcEI via @marcandangel #
- With marriage, if winning is your goal you will always lose. via @ChristianPF http://su.pr/2luvrz #
- RT @hughdeburgh: “There is no worse death than a life spent in fear of pursuing what you love.” ~ from http://FamiliesWithoutLimits.com #
- @chrisguillebeau The continental US can be done in 6 days on a motorcycle, but it’s not much of a visit. in reply to chrisguillebeau #
- Ugh. Google’s a twitter competitor now. #
- Took this morning off. Just did 45 pushups in 1 set/135 total. #30DatProject #
- RT @Moneymonk: To solve the traffic problems of this country is to pass a law that only paid-4 cars be allowed to use the highways. W Rogers #
- RT @SimpleMarriage Valentine’s Week of Giveaways: A Private Affair http://ow.ly/1oolpT #
- Your baseless fears do not trump my inalienable rights. — Roberta X http://su.pr/2qBR3P #
- RT @WellHeeledBlog: Couple married for 86 years(!!) will give love advice via Twitter on Valentine’s day: http://tinyurl.com/ybuqqtu #bp Wow #
- 193 pushups today, including1 set of 60. Well on my way to a set of 100. #30DayProject #
- @prosperousfool Linksys makes wireless repeater to extend the range of a router. in reply to prosperousfool #
- RT @MyLifeROI: Is anyone else unimpressed with Google Buzz? #
Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-07-10
- Happy Independence Day! Be thankful for what you've been given by those who have gone before! #
- Waiting for fireworks with the brats. Excitement is high. #
- @PhilVillarreal Amazing. I'm really Cringer. That makes me feel creepy. in reply to PhilVillarreal #
- Built a public life-maintenance calendar in GCal. https://liverealnow.net/y7ph #
- @ericabiz makes webinars fun! Even if her house didn't collapse in the middle of it. #
- BOFH + idiot = bad combination #
5 Ways to Change the World for the Better
- Image via Wikipedia
We are all stuck on the same planet with each other. There is nothing any of us are going to do to get the option of leaving for long. Do you want to live in a miserable, run-down world, or one that’s happy and filled with kittens and ice cream?
The kind of world you live in is more a function of your state of mind than the place you live, the job you have, or the person you married. Here are a few ways to improve that state of mind.
1. Be kind. Smile at a teller. Let someone merge in front of you in traffic. Drop a dollar in a homeless man’s jar. Have you ever had a lousy day make a total turnaround because of some inconsequential bit of yay? Doing some small act of kindness can make a world of difference in someone’s day. Next time you’re in the drive-through at Caribou, buy coffee for the person behind you. That random bit of love will put a smile on both your faces.
2. Be positive. Don’t complain. So many of us live in a negative world, watching the world go buy through coffin-colored glasses. Have you ever considered going an entire day without making a negative comment? A week? A month? Some of you are shaking your heads right now, thinking it’s impossible. Have you thought about how much happier you would be if you banned the negative crap in your life?
3. Be a good neighbor. We’ve all had the same problems: a neighbor that plays music too loud, too late; the jerk across the street who yells at you for park on the street in front of his house; the guy who’s too busy to mow his lawn; or the crazy cat lady who makes the entire neighborhood smell like a litter box. Don’t be that guy. I’ve had 90% of my neighbors for more than 5 years. If we don’t make accommodations for the people we have to deal with every day, we’re going to be miserable.
4. Learn something new. If you feel good about yourself, you feel better about the world. If you feel better about the world, you’re more likely to do things to improve it. One of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to improve yourself. Take a class, read a book, or find a mentor to teach you. The method doesn’t matter, just do something to learn something you’re interested in.
What are you doing to make your world better?
Friends and Acquaintances
“Friends help you move. Good friends help you move bodies.”
-unknown
Some people have dozens of friends. I’m not that guy.
I have 6.
Everybody in the world can be divided into 4 categories.
- Strangers. A xenophobe’s nightmare. These are the people you don’t know, whether they are passing you on the sidewalk, or newborns on the opposite side of the world.
- Acquaintances. These are the people you’ve met, mostly in passing. They tend not to have much effect on your life. You may pass a friendly bus ride in conversation, but it’s nothing that sticks. A waitress, the clerk at the store, a friend’s latest date; these are the people you interact with for just a moment and rarely think about further.
- Friendlies. Most people call these folks friends. I don’t. I’m friendly with them, hence the name, but it’s not true friendship. Often, they are either my wife’s friends, or my friends’ wives. Sometimes, they are a friend of a friend that I only see at parties, or a coworker that I get along with, but never see outside of work. We’re friendly, but not obliged. I may help with some things, but it’s not necessarily a priority. I’ll go to a funeral, but probably won’t help plan it.
- Friends. To me, calling someone a friend is a big deal. I’m willing to do a lot for my friends. They are able to command large amounts of my time, and ask any number of favors. If needed, I’ll open my home or help demolish their’s. Loyalty, honesty, trust, respect, and companionship are all a part of my definition of a friend. If a friend needs help, I’ll come running. In return, I expect the same.
Family tends to fall into the same analogous categories.
It sounds cold, but I hesitate to let people graduate into the final category. My wife used to try to “set me up” with people that she thought I’d like to be friends with, thinking I was sad to have so few friends. It took years for her to realize that I was happy. It’s a matter of quality over quantity. Most of the friends I have, I’ve had for 10 years or more. I’ve known each of them for at least 5 years, not that time is a requirement.
Moving people into the “friends” category is a lot like dating. You get along, so you invite the potential friends out for a drink, one on one. You feel them out to see if they are compatible. You meet their families, share some food, build some history. If it all works out, eventually, you consider them a true friend, even if you couldn’t mark the date of the transition.
You wouldn’t marry everyone you date, so why would turn everyone you basically get along with into a friend?
Do you have a lot of friends? What marks friendship for you?
Sunday Roundup
My girls have been riding in horse shows lately. Sometimes, it seems like that’s all we’ve been doing on the weekends, but they love it. My wife’s favorite hobby now matches my daughters’ favorite pastime. As a bonus, we’ll never have to paint their room again, with the way they are accumulating ribbons.
Best Posts
It is possible to be entirely too connected.
My life is now complete. It’s possible to buy 95 pounds of cereal marshmallows for just $399. Breakfast at my house just got perfect.
I wholeheartedly agree with Tam, “You don’t need to make any excuses for crashing things into each other at the speed of light in an underground tunnel longer than Manhattan that’s had the air pumped out and been chilled to a couple degrees above absolute zero. That doesn’t need a reason. “
Carnivals I’ve Rocked
Credit Cards: My Failed Experiment was included in the Best of Money Carnival, the Carnival of Wealth, and the Totally Money Blog Carnival.
My niche site article on how to Make Extra Money with Keyword Research was included in the Totally Money Blog Carnival.
Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.
Playing For Blood
Kris at Every Tips and Thoughts wrote a post about games and letting her kids win feeling bad about winning. I disagree. This post is an expansion of my comment there.
When we play games in my house, we play for blood. I’ve never let my kids win and they know it. From the first time the kids attempt Memory, they know they’ve got to earn a win against Mom and Dad. They know if they lose, they must do so gracefully. If they pout or cry, they lose game privileges for a while. I demand good sportsmanship, win or lose.
To be clear, my kids are 3, 4, and 11 and they are all held to the same standards of sportsmanship. Win or lose, they will do so gracefully. There will be no temper tantrums when they are Sorry’d and no pouting when the Queen is captured.
It took my son almost 3 years to beat me at chess. When it finally happened, he was almost as proud as I was and still talks about it 5 years later.
It’s not much fun playing games with his friends. They were coddled and expect to win everything. I have to take away game privileges just like I do for my 3 year old. They hate that because we have the coolest board games. Nobody else has games that involve zombies or disembodied brains.
What has the result been?
My kids love playing games. This week, my oldest has been teaching his sisters how to play Life. When he visits his friends, he’s as likely to bring a board game as an electronic game. He’s got a good mind for strategy, and I can’t remember the last time he pouted when I tromped him.
My 4 year old hasn’t mastered gamesmanship yet, but she will. When I threaten to put the game away, she wipes her eyes, and keeps playing, even if her jaw is chattering. She knows what is expected and works to live up to it.
Both of the older kids are competitive. They’ve never had a win handed to them, and they have each had wins they had to work for, and they know how it feels to win and earn it.
The youngest doesn’t care if she wins, she’s just happy to play. In my experience, the competitive gameplay gene doesn’t activate until 4.
In my mind, the real world won’t hand them any wins, so I might as well start teaching them how to work for it now.
How about you? Do you let your kids win, or do you teach them that all games are bloodsports?
