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- [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-12-19
Public Service Announcement: Anger, Children, and Cars
If, in the course of a basic morning, your three-year-old decides that you need to pick out her clothes, even though she’s been handling that every day for months, don’t be surprised if she rejects your first three choices. She’s just being lazy.
If, after you’ve settled on clothes, you tell her to pick out some socks, expect the same behavior. She’ll lie on the living room floor saying “You pick them out” for 20 minutes, only to throw a fit if you don’t pick the ones with fairies. At this point, it’s okay to yell at her. Really.
When she tears them off and throws them across the room, you don’t even have to be gentle when you put them back on and strap her shoes down to keep her socks on.
Then, when you’re walking across the yard, and she refuses because she’s mad, it is again okay to hold her hand to guide assist drag her to the car, but it works best if you are strong enough to keep her suspended above the ground when she tries to sit down to stop you.
Of course, when you get to the car, she’s going to run back to the front door because she can walk by herself.
Literally throwing her into the car at this point isn’t okay. Tempting, but not okay.
As the man said, I told you that so I could tell you this:
It would seem, now, that it would be a good idea to flip the child latch on the door to keep the contrary little brat from escaping while you circle the car to the driver’s door, or worse, slow down for a stop sign. It is a good idea.
The thing to remember is that, in your anger, when the world has gone red and you are cheering on the biological traits that make it nearly impossible to hurt your children, it is easy to stick the screwdriver in the wrong slot in the door and jam your door latch.
When that happens your door won’t close. Your little monster won’t stop aggravating you, and the child who has chosen to play the role of little angel this morning will start getting crabby about the wait. That doesn’t help.
After you throw the kids in the spare car–the car which doesn’t have air conditioning on the hottest day of the year, so far–and get the brats to daycare, the internet can show you what does help.
If, when you close your car door, it bounces back open because the latch is jammed, no amount of poking at it with a screwdriver will fix it. You’ll bleed for no good reason. Grab the door handle and hold it in the open position. Then, when you poke the latch with a screwdriver, it will pop into the correct position with very little effort.
It’s amazing what a door that closes will do for your morning.
Becoming a Landlord
For those of you just tuning in, my mother-in-law died in April.
Since then, we’ve spent nearly every available moment at our inherited house, digging out and cleaning up.
My mother-in-law was a compulsive hoarder. I’m not going to get into the details of her compulsion, but we have–so far–filled a 30 yard dumpster. For perspective, that’s big enough to fit our Ford F150.
Now that the house is approaching the point where we can begin updating and remodeling, I’ve been looking into the requirements to rent it out.
In my city, I need to get a business license that costs $95 per year. This comes with a requirement to allow the city to inspect the property every two years.
Before they will issue the license, I have to take an 8 hour Minnesota Crime Free Multi-Housing Program class that covers tenant screening, lease addendum, evictions, and “etcetera”, followed by a physical audit of the property to ensure minimum security standards.
The lease addendum basically reads “If you are loud, obnoxious, threatening, criminal, intimidating, or doing/dealing drugs, you will be evicted.”
The actual costs to become a landlord are going to be:
- Something under $100 for my wife and I to take the landlord class. The price varies from free to $40, depending on the hosting city.
- $95 per year for the privilege of using our private property to conduct a private transaction with a private individual.
- The remodel. I don’t know what this is going to cost, yet. There’s an unfinished bathroom in the unfinished basement. I’d like to finish both of those, though the basement will never hold a 3rd bedroom, due to code. The entire house need to be painted and have the trim replaced. The dining room and hallway have hardwood floors, hiding under linoleum that was never properly put down. We may need new windows.
If possible, I’d like to keep the project under $20,000. Since we’re not adding a 3rd bedroom, or tearing out the kitchen cabinets, it should be possible.
In the meantime, expect to see a bunch of remodeling and renting related posts coming up.
Integrity
I’ve spent my entire adult life trying to live to a fairly strict code of behavior.
I don’t cheat. Not at games, in my relationships, on my taxes, nothing. I don’t cut corners or try to get away with things.
The reason isn’t that I’m trying to be some fictional knight in a storybook. It’s been my experience that cutting those corners always seems to be more expensive in the long run, whether it’s fines, lost friends and relationships, or even a general crappiness of life. The people I know who are always trying to get away with stuff or get ahead at someone else’s expense have the least, whether that’s money, friends, loved ones, or happiness.
Living a noble, honorable life has benefits.
I don’t pay fines and penalties often. Just the occasional speeding ticket, but that’s been one in the last 10+ years. Not getting fined for parking in a handicap spot or cheating on my taxes makes it far easier to save my money and build my wealth than constantly handing money over to the government. I’ve got a friend who can’t keep himself away from the justice system. Spending 3 or more months in jail every year makes it hard to keep a job or have a relationship with your family.
My friends know they are my friends. They can count on me and that means I can count on them. They also know that if that equation falls out of balance, it will be over. I only want friends I can count on. If you can’t have my back, or you feel a need to gossip about my life, I don’t want you in it.
My kids have no insecurities about my love. They know I am here for them, no matter what happens. Even if the occasional temper tantrum has them screaming that I clearly hate them, they know better. They know this father’s love is unconditional.
Work trusts me. Last year, I basically created the department I work in my telling my boss that I was sure I could make it work.
I have some badass karma. In general my life if pretty good, and I like to think it’s because I work to be a good person, do good things, and treat the people in my life right.
There are some downsides. Not everyone lives like this and I have problems relating to them. I’m not a sympathetic person to someone who tries to duck out on child support or who has to spend 30 days in the workhouse for trying to hock a stolen stereo. I can come across as a bit self-righteous.
I expect the people in my life to live the same way and treat me the same way. When that fails to happen, those people are nearly always evicted from life.
Life’s too short for people willing to screw you over.
Sometimes, though, that eviction is too complicated to do quickly, cleanly, or easily. That’s can be a turmoil in my life, and I hate turmoil. I don’t normally have to debate the correct course of action. Something is either right or it’s not. If it’s not, I know it and it doesn’t get done. If I have to wonder, then it’s definitely not right.
Every once in a while, I get stuck with a choice between shitty options and that’s where this system fails. Sometimes, no option is good, right, and proper. Every choice has a big downside, and none of the choices are clearly right.
That’s turmoil. Indecisive, emotional, horrible turmoil.
How was your day?
Anchor Price Your Salary
Conventional wisdom says that, when negotiating your salary or a raise, you should make whatever crazy ninja maneuvers it takes to get the other person to name a number first.
Horse pellets.
Have you ever watched an infomercial? Those masters of of impulse marketing geared towards insomniacs, invalids, and inebriates?
“How much would you pay for this fabulous meat tenderizer/eyelash waxer? $399? $299? No! If you call within the next 73 seconds, we will let you take this home for the low, low price of just $99.99!”
That’s the magic of anchor pricing.
The first number you hear is the number you will base all further numbers on. If you hear a high number, other lower numbers will feel much lower by comparison. The number doesn’t even have to be about money.
There was a study done that had the subjects compare a price to the last two digits of their social security numbers. Those with higher digits found higher prices to be acceptable, while those with lower prices only accepted cheaper prices.
What does an infomercial marketing ploy have to do with your salary?
If you are negotiating your salary and your potential employer gives a lowball offer, every higher counteroffer after that will much, much higher than than it would otherwise. On the other hand, if you start with your “perfect” salary, they amount you will be happy to settle for won’t seem to be nearly as high to the employer. At the same time, you will be less likely to accept a lowball offer if you set your anchor price high.
For example, if you are looking to make $50,000:
The employer offers you $40,000. $60,000 seems too high by comparison, so you counter with $50,000, then compromise and settler for $45,000. Or, you could start at $60,000, making the employer feel that $40,000 is too low, so he counters with $45,000, leaving a compromise at $52,000. That’s a hypothetical $7,000 boost, just for bucking conventional wisdom and taking a cue from the marketing industry.
How have you negotiated your salary?
Mastermind – The Best Personality Type
A few of the best personal finance blogs have decided to post on a theme. It’s a personality type blog carnival.
After taking the Jung Typology Test, I discovered that I am an INTJ; a Rational Mastermind. Specifically I am I(78%) N(12%) T(75%) J(44%).
What does that mean, you ask?
It means that I am rare. Fewer than 3% of the population has my personality type, which is Introvert iNtuition Thinking Judgement, but the intuition is close to Sensing, making me almost an ISTJ, or a Guardian Inspector.
From Wikipedia:
- I – Introversion preferred to extraversion: INTJs tend to be quiet and reserved. They generally prefer interacting with a few close friends rather than a wide circle of acquaintances, and they expend energy in social situations (whereas extraverts gain energy).
- N – Intuition preferred to sensing: INTJs tend to be more abstract than concrete. They focus their attention on the big picture rather than the details and on future possibilities rather than immediate realities.
- T – Thinking preferred to feeling: INTJs tend to value objective criteria above personal preference. When making decisions they generally give more weight to logic than to social considerations.
- J – Judgment preferred to perception: INTJs tend to plan their activities and make decisions early. They derive a sense of control through predictability, which to perceptive types may seem limiting.
- S – Sensing preferred to intuition: ISTJs tend to be more concrete than abstract. They focus their attention on the details rather than the big picture, and on immediate realities rather than future possibilities.
To summarize the personality of a mastermind: We are big-picture planners. We see patterns other people miss and use that to solve complex puzzles and problems. It’s not possible to follow a thought through the head of a mastermind, because thinking comes with a ton of free association. We may be watching an episode of Spongebob, and something Patrick does will trigger a domino-effect of seemingly unrelated thoughts that will lead a conclusion, out of nowhere. Often, we aren’t aware of the process.
We don’t do crowds, at least, not often. Good conversation with good friends is better than a party full of people we barely know. Crowds are draining. A quiet night at home is a good night, but that’s not saying we-re shy. We just don’t enjoy keeping up with small talk and polite chatter. Get us on a topic we’re passionate about and you won’t shut us up. Get us in a group of people we care about, and we can be the life of the party.
As a group, we are ambitious and deliberate. We are capable of making firm decisions, confidently. Confidence is one of the hallmarks of a mastermind, but one I don’t have to the normal extreme.
We are obsessive focused. When we get set on a problem, we focus in a way that leaves other people stupefied. Time goes away. The rest of the world fades. You may have to shout to get our attention. Sometimes, our minds will drift in the middle of a conversation, and we’ll lose track of who’s saying what. It’s rude, but that doesn’t change the way we are wired.
We don’t do emotion. We are rational and get frustrated with people who make decisions based on emotion. This makes it hard to connect with others, but that’s okay, because it’s better to have a few extremely close friends than a crowd of mere acquaintances. Unfortunately, this can make relationships difficult, too. The benefit to dating or marrying an INTJ is that we carry our focus into relationships. We take our relationships seriously.
We are inwardly-focused, so we spend quite a bit of time examining ourselves. This can lead to a long series of self-improvement projects, but none get taken on as a mere fad. They are planned and dissected before even being mentioned to others, let alone undertaken.
We take criticism well, but if you can’t back up the critique with facts and reasoning, don’t bother. Rational, remember?
We are driven by a need to understand. Once we understand, a given project or line of thought may be abandoned. Until we understand, very little can shake our focus.
Self-promotion is difficult, since we don’t get into the heads of others well. They should be able to see the obvious benefits without being told, right?
Now, to cross a bit of the ISTJ into the mix.
An Inspector is duty bound and loyal, to an extreme. They are dependable workhorses. Under stress, they can get stuck on the things that could go wrong, which would explain why I miss out on the confidence brought by being a mastermind.
To summarize me:
- I am a planner.
- I am extremely focused, to the point of obsession.
- I am driven to learn new things, constantly. Few of those things are incorporated into my life, long-term.
- I don’t cheat. Taxes, games, relationships, etc.
- I am intensely loyal, but to very few people or causes. I don’t end relationships quickly or easily. That said, when it’s time for them to be over, I can break it off with little regret.
Security, improvement, planning, learning, thinking, loyalty, honesty, integrity.
That sounds about right.
Now you know a bit about how I tick. What’s your personality type?