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Girls Don’t Fart

A few years ago, I was playing a game a friend was developing. As part of the setup he asked me to tell him something I believed as a child but now knew not to be true. My answer? Girls don’t fart.

When I was at summer camp one year, a camp counselor gave me that glorious and confusing bit of knowledge. He sounded serious and I was young, with no sisters. Naturally, this entered my personal Canon of Life’s Facts. Over the next few years, I’d get into arguments with my friends that went something like “I don’t care if you have 10 sisters! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Yes, I could be a little jerk. I don’t think that misconception was actually cleared up until high school. It’s not that I actively believed it, but I had no reason to think about it. That was just the way it was. Girls certainly didn’t fart around me.

I’m married with three kids, two of which are beautiful(and gassy!) little girls. A belief doesn’t get more shattered than this one.

Now, some 25 years later, I find myself occasionally running into other beliefs that I’ve seemingly always had, but have no reason to keep. These are–or were–part of my personal Canon. Once accepted, even if they were only accepted implicitly, they have been unexamined and unquestioned. It’s just the way it is.

For many years, I thought debt was normal. Everybody had payments. Everybody used credit cards. Everybody lived beyond their means. Right? No. The reality is that it’s not everybody, and the people who are living beyond their means are living a broken system. Normal is spending actual money for things you can actually afford. Normal is not paying for the use of someone else’s money. Everything else is dysfunctional.

Another Canonical Misconception was that money could take care of itself. I didn’t know anybody with a budget. The closest anybody came was the “balance available” line on an ATM receipt. Couple this with an unquestioning acceptance of debt, and it’s no wonder how I ended buried under my credit cards. Having a budget is important. Knowing where your money has gone and where it is supposed to go is important. Without this, you’ll never be in control of your finances.

I’ve often thought that you get what you pay for. Assuming that more money somehow causes something to be of better quality or utility is dangerously expensive. There is a level that means something is so cheap it can’t possibly be worthwhile, but there is a huge spectrum of quality above the garbage price point. There is also a line above which no manufacturing can improve the cost and you are paying strictly for the brand or the ego boost. In today’s world, with stores and manufactures all around the world just a click away, it’s easier than ever to find a good deal for a good price.

These are just a few of the ideas I’ve held without question until they were shattered suddenly. Now, I try to examine my beliefs and make sure they still make sense in the face of my current knowledge and experience.

What Canonical Misconceptions have you overcome?

This post is a blast from the past. It ran a couple of years ago and I think it’s worth reviving.

Selling Your Car

Finance

: English: Jalopy car in Joshua Tree National Park in Hidden Valley Campground (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When it’s time to replace your car, most people focus on the new car, instead of the old, but that is ignoring real money. Your old car–unless it has disintegrated–still has value. Sometimes, it’s just time to ask yourself, “When should I sell my car?”

When you’re looking to sell your car (like with We Will Buy Your Car), you generally have several options:

Tow & crush. If your car has been wrecked, doesn’t run, or is just old and beat up, you may be stuck with calling a junkyard and accepting $50 for them to pick up your car and crush it for scrap.
Trade it in. This is probably the least hassle, but–other than #1–doesn’t pay well. Dealerships are willing to pay something under what they will get at a wholesale auction, which is quite a bit less than the blue book value.
Sell it yourself. Now you’re thinking, “He’s going to buy my car! Oh, bother.” It can be a pain, but it’s also the best way to get a decent price for your wheels.

When you sell your car, there are a few things to keep in mind, much like when you sell something on Craigslist.

Don’t be alone. There are bad people in the world, but they don’t like witnesses. Bad things are much less likely to happen if you have company.
Know your price. Specifically, know three price: your dream price, the price that would make you happy, and the absolute lowest price you are willing to accept. Make sure you figure these numbers out ahead of time. Know what you are comfortable with before it comes time to close the deal.
Check IDs. The buyer is going to want to test-drive your car. That’s fine, but you want to make sure you know who is driving off in your car. “Officer, Sumdood took my car. He was wearing jeans.” That won’t get your car back.
Clean it up. Get the car detailed before you show it to a potential buyer. A sparkling-clean car will almost always bring in a few hundred extra dollars. It’s well worth the expense.

Following this plan should make the sale go as smoothly as possible and bring you the most possible money.

Readers, what have you done to dispose of an old car?

This is a sponsored post written to provide some insight into the world of used car retail.

Swamp Finance

Finance

I wrote this post was as a guest post a year ago, to answer the question, “What is the best financial advice or tool you have found or been given?”

Once upon a time, there was a young man–an arrogant man barely out of childhood–who thought he new more than anyone he had ever known, trusted, or respected. In his arrogance, he left his family and friends behind to enter the wilderness in search of a long lost teacher.

He found the teacher. He even managed to convince the teacher to accept him as his pupil.

However, he didn’t change his ways. He insolently ignored the fundamental lessons, assuming he already understood them. When he was rebuked by his teacher, his only defense was to whine that he was “trying”.

“Do or do not. There is no ‘try’,” replied Yoda.

These words of wisdom represent one of the most fundamental rules of personal finance, or even life, itself. If the best you have to offer is a half-hearted “try”, you will never succeed.

When my wife and I decided that it was time for our debt to die the death of a sad specter of self-loathing hiding in a cave, we went at it with a relish that would have launched a poor astromech droid to the freakin’ moon!

We never said we’d give it a shot for a month and see how it went. We knew that we either needed to succeed or we’d have to file bankruptcy. We didn’t try, we did it. Rather, we are doing it. Friends told us it was impossible to live without credit; that we were foolish to try. They were right, so we didn’t try.

Similarly, when it was time to get started on a college fund instead of hanging our hopes on scholarships, we just did it. Sure, we started the fund with just $10, and it is only growing by $10 per month, but it’s there and it’s growing. When we get our debt paid off, we’ll see exactly how close we can get to giving our kids a self-funded full ride to college.

When it comes time to get the things done that you know need to be done, the trick is to do it. Don’t make excuses. Don’t “try” to find time. Just make it happen. Cut up your credit cards, make your budget, or sell the stuff you don’t need. Whatever it is, do it.

There is no try. There is only DO!

Taco Seasoning

Recipe

A few weeks ago, Edward at If You Can Read, You Can Cook sent me a jar of his taco seasoning to try.

Yum.

He’s got four flavors: hot, medium, mild, and sweet cumin. Since I’m the only one in my family who likes spicy food, I asked for the sweet cumin.

This is a jar of pure taco flavor, without any of the burn. Tacos, burritos, omelettes, or Rice Krispies, nearly anything could benefit from a dose of this stuff.

Seriously, we’re done with the little paper packets from the grocery store. From now on, Edward is getting our taco seasoning business. We do large batches of tacos 2-3 times a month, so I’m looking forward to trying the other flavors, too.

http://www.ifyoucanread.com/if-you-can-read-you-can-cook-taco-seasonings-original-page-2/ I was not compensated for this post, other than getting a free jar to try. It’s just good.

Overworked and Underappreciated

Business

I once worked for a company that was so confused that, not only did I not meet my last immediate supervisor for 6 months, but he didn’t know what I did or who I supported. He was my supervisor on paper for payroll and organizational purposes only.

Does your boss know what you do?

More recently, I was called into my current boss’s office to get scolded for low productivity since I don’t produce as much as the other programmers.

That’s not my favorite thing to do in the afternoon. I’d rather spend the afternoon ~~playing Angry Birds~~ improving our software.

In response, I spent the week logging my time. Before I left on Friday, I sent my boss an email that started out with:

When we spoke on Monday, you compared my productivity unfavorably to the other developers. I don’t think that’s a fair comparison as I do more categories of tasks than the others. I don’t think you realize how many additional responsibilities I’ve taken on over the years.

I continued from there with a summary of each day’s work last week. The short version is that, while being productive, I spend less than half of my time on my primary job function because I’ve slowly taken on a managerial role.

I’m on vacation this week, so it will be a few days before I find out if my email will make a difference.

Now, this scolding was my fault. I know I spend my day doing much more than just writing code. I’ve told my boss that before, but I’ve never made sure he understands the scale of the extra work, and I’ve never proven it with a detailed log.

This was poor personal marketing.

In the future, I have to make sure that I keep him in the loop with a summary of the extra work I do, like the training, product demos, sales calls, and estimates I’m involved in.

We’ll see how well that works.

How would you handle a situation like this? Daily emails? Whining? Kicking a garbage can across the room?

My Favorite Present

Parenting

My favorite Christmas present this year was the one I gave to my 13 year old son.

Allow me to walk you through his evening….

First, he opened one of his presents. It was just a small box, about 3 inches by 4. A Japanese puzzle box. Inside the box was a note that read:

Closed off in the smallest room you will find a clue to bring you closer to your prize.

When he checked the cabinet below the sink in our basement bathroom, he found another note that sent him to my business website one a page with a url that contained “the square of my children”. When he eventually figured out that I meant their ages, not their quantity, he found a clue on my website.

This lead him to a section of his Minecraft server. It’s effectively a no-man’s land because he and his friends set off a nuke and turned it into a giant pit. They fall down and die there. Inside the pit was a cave. Inside the cave was a clue. The clue read:

Grandma and Grandpa love you.

What do you do when someone says they love you? You either get scared of the commitment and end a perfectly good relationship, or you say “I love you, too”. When the kid finally called his grandparents to tell them he loves them, they told him to give his parents a kiss.

I’m a jerk.

He came over and gave me a hug and a kiss. I handed him a piece of paper. When he looked at it, he asked if it was supposed to be torn in half. I reminded him that he has two parents, so Mom got a hug and a kiss, too. The resulting clue read:

The Answer to the Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything

Naturally, this points to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, but the boy hadn’t read far enough into the book to understand the reference, so he had to hit google. After spending time looking for chapter 42, he finally thought to look at page 42, which had this clue:

My Little Pegasus

Two steps to the right

Two steps forward

Two steps up

This clue started at the My Little Pony I set next to a Pegasus in my daughters’ room. The boy was in dense mode because he had to ask his sister what a Pegasus was. She also had to suggest he open the closet door when one step forward made him bump his nose on it.

For all of that work, he got the Ticket to Ride game. He laughed the entire way through the treasure hunt, then decided he hated the whole process. However, for two nights running, he’s stopped the video games to play his new game with his family.

It’s a present he’ll remember forever.