- RT @Dave_Champion Obama asks DOJ to look at whether AZ immigration law is constitutional. Odd that he never did that with #Healthcare #tcot #
- RT @wilw: You know, kids, when I was your age, the internet was 80 columns wide and built entirely out of text. #
- RT @BudgetsAreSexy: RT @FinanciallyPoor "The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money." ~ Unknown #
- Official review of the double-down: Unimpressive. Not enough bacon and soggy breading on the chicken. #
- @FARNOOSH Try Ubertwitter. I haven't found a reason to complain. in reply to FARNOOSH #
- Personal inbox zero! #
- Work email inbox zero! #
- StepUp3D: Lame dancing flick using VomitCam instead or choreography. #
- I approve of the Nightmare remake. #Krueger #
5 Ways to Change the World for the Better
We are all stuck on the same planet with each other. There is nothing any of us are going to do to get the option of leaving for long. Do you want to live in a miserable, run-down world, or one that’s happy and filled with kittens and ice cream?
The kind of world you live in is more a function of your state of mind than the place you live, the job you have, or the person you married. Here are a few ways to improve that state of mind.
1. Be kind. Smile at a teller. Let someone merge in front of you in traffic. Drop a dollar in a homeless man’s jar. Have you ever had a lousy day make a total turnaround because of some inconsequential bit of yay? Doing some small act of kindness can make a world of difference in someone’s day. Next time you’re in the drive-through at Caribou, buy coffee for the person behind you. That random bit of love will put a smile on both your faces.
2. Be positive. Don’t complain. So many of us live in a negative world, watching the world go buy through coffin-colored glasses. Have you ever considered going an entire day without making a negative comment? A week? A month? Some of you are shaking your heads right now, thinking it’s impossible. Have you thought about how much happier you would be if you banned the negative crap in your life?
3. Be a good neighbor. We’ve all had the same problems: a neighbor that plays music too loud, too late; the jerk across the street who yells at you for park on the street in front of his house; the guy who’s too busy to mow his lawn; or the crazy cat lady who makes the entire neighborhood smell like a litter box. Don’t be that guy. I’ve had 90% of my neighbors for more than 5 years. If we don’t make accommodations for the people we have to deal with every day, we’re going to be miserable.
4. Learn something new. If you feel good about yourself, you feel better about the world. If you feel better about the world, you’re more likely to do things to improve it. One of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to improve yourself. Take a class, read a book, or find a mentor to teach you. The method doesn’t matter, just do something to learn something you’re interested in.
What are you doing to make your world better?
2011 Goals
It’s that time of the year when people make public promises to themselves that last almost as long as the hangover most of them are going to earn tonight, otherwise known as New Year’s Resolutions.
Not a fan.
I am, however a fan of planning out some concrete goals and doing my best to meet them. I do this through a series of 30 day projects. I set a goal that can be reached in 30 days, and push for it. I tend to make my goals fairly aggressive, and I tend to meet them.
Here were my goals and results for 2010:
- January: Wake up at 5am AND read to my kids every night before bed. These were easy goals to meet. A year later, I am still getting up much earlier than I ever have, even if it’s not 5AM. I write better late at night than I do early in the morning, anyway. I’m not still reading to my kids every night, but we are making progress on teaching my four-year-old to read.
- February: Do 100 push-ups at one time by the end of the month. I accomplished this in 22 days. I also had a secret project that involved doing something sweet for my wife every day. By the end of the month, she was convinced I had done something horrible that I was trying to make up for.
- March: Do 100 sit-ups at one time by the end of the month. It took me a week, but I found out how bad sit-ups are for your back. Pure failure.
- April: Spring Cleaning. I will declutter every room in my house this month. We missed one room and one closet, but made a lot of charities happy.
- May: Have a sit-down dinner with my family, at the dining room table at least 3 times per week. We managed this one and enjoyed it, but we haven’t managed to keep it up. I’ll have to try this again.
- June: No computer use, while anyone else in the family is awake, except for household necessities, such as bills. This one worked well and improved the quality of our interaction. I’m not quite this strict about it, but my computer use has gone down dramatically while my family is awake.
- July: Write fiction every day. I don’t think I wrote more than a few pages of fiction, but I did write every day.
- August: Buy nothing new this month. We came very close to doing this one perfectly. It wasn’t easy.
- September: Attempt to learn a new language. Total bomb. I never even got started.
- October: No yelling at the kids. Have you ever thought about trying this with a a two-year-old and a four-year-old? We never got started.
- November: No complaining. Not at home, not at work. I didn’t make this an actual month, but I’ve been trying to complain much less. I think it’s been working.
- December: I will have done 14 projects this year. December is a month off. As planned, I took December off.
So I missed 4 months of projects. This year, I’m going to modify my overall plan and only do 6 projects, every other month. That will give me a month off to either relax or incorporate the goal into my ongoing habits without any stress.
Here are my goals:
- January: I’m going to do Tim Ferriss’s Slow-Carb diet. Yes, it’s a fad diet, but it beats the constant stream of garbage I eat now. The basic plan is to avoid anything white; no bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, or sugar. That’s accompanied by a targeted supplement regimen and a timed exercise plan to manipulate my metabolism. I’m not adding any aerobic exercise to my day, because I want this to be as controlled an experiment as possible. If it’s working at the end of the month, I will keep it going. It’s time to not be fat anymore.
- March: In February, I managed to get myself able to do 100 pushups in a single set. In March, I hurt my back trying to do the same with sit-ups and that killed my workout habit. This March, I’m going to do the 100 pushups challenge again, but this time, I’m going for perfect pushups. Last year, they got sloppy after about 80. This year, that won’t be good enough.
- May: I’m going to do at least 30 days of the Couch to 5k running program. It’s a 9 week program. As a 30 day project, it’s designed to establish the habit. When I tried picking up running last year, my knees were causing problems. Hopefully, my January project will mitigate that this year.
- July: I’m going to pick up a new language. This is the failed plan from September 2010. I’ve narrowed it down to either Spanish, Swedish, or Italian. One is useful, one is a part of my heritage, and one is for fun. At the moment, I’m undecided.
- September: Undecided. I am leaning towards a “nice” month. 30 days of doing something nice, for someone, somewhere. If I go this route, I’ve got 9 months to plan, because that’s a lot of things to do.
- November: Absolutely undecided. Any suggestions?
That’s my plan for the new year. Six specific goals, each lasting 30 days. I could definitely use some help for September and November. Please give me some suggestions in the comments.
Human Interaction
Life may be like a box of chocolates, but it is certainly not a game of Sorry, where one person wins at the expense of all others. It is entirely possible for everyone to win in most voluntary interactions.
For example, if my company gives me a $10,000 raise, it would seem like I win and they lose. I’m getting more money, at the expense of their bottom line, right? Maybe. But what if that raise spurs me on to make an extra $100,000 for the company? That makes it a good investment and a Win/Win scenario.
When I’m dealing with one of my side-business customers or an advertiser, I’m definitely pushing for the Win/Win. Of course I want them to pay me as much as possible, but I also want their repeat business, which won’t happen unless they walk away happy. If I insisted that each of my customers pay the absolute top dollar, I may come out ahead in the short-term, but what about next month or next year? It’s much better for both of us if we can find a happy middle ground.
The four basic forms of interaction are:
1. Win/Lose. This is where I win and you lose. Haha! The problem with a Win/Lose is that the loser isn’t going to come back to play next year. He’s not happy and he’ll probably tell his friends how unhappy he is. This is also the interaction that people are mistakenly assuming when they complain about excessive executive interaction. The CEO is making a million dollars while the folks on the assembly line are stuck with $15 per hour? It’s entirely possible that, if the CEO weren’t doing his job, nobody else would have one. That is, like it or not, Win/Win.
2. Lose/Win. This is where I give up everything, hoping you’ll eventually throw me a bone. It’s a cowardly interaction that won’t work well when dealing with someone playing #1. I’ll keep giving, you’ll keep taking. You go home happy, I go home sore. When it’s done, I won’t do business with you ever again.
3. Lose/Lose. Nobody wins. We fight so hard to get what we want, forcing the other side to give up as much as possible, while they are doing the same. At the end of the day, the hatred is flowing so strong, there’s no possibility of a relationship.
4. Win/Win. Yay! Everybody wins! Everybody’s happy! This will involve some compromise, but hopefully we can reach the happy middle ground where we are both smiling. If I’m looking for a deal that involves you paying me $1000 per month, is it better for me to push to get exactly that, or let myself get talked down to $750? If the $1000 is more than you can afford, so you quit with hard feelings after one month, the ongoing $750 is much, much better for both of us. It is actually in my greedy self-interest to give up that 25% to build our relationship.
Winning doesn’t have to be done at the expense of others. If you do it right, we all win.
I’m the Bad Guy
My wife and daughters are active in a saddle club, even though we don’t own any horses. We’ve been borrowing them for shows when my girls compete.
My wife’s cousin has been trying to sell one of her horses for a few months. Because this horse has alpha-male problems, it has to be kept in a stall. Stall boarding runs $450 per month as opposed to $200 in a group paddock.
Since my girls love this horse, Cousin continually tries to convince my wife to buy it.
My wife’s response is “Jason won’t let me buy a horse, yet.” Then all of her friends get to complain about how I’m not supportive.
Uhhh, no.
We are $10,000 away from paying off truck. We’re $23,000 away from being mortgage-free. After that, we’re planning to rent out the house we’re in and buy a hobby farm.
Yes, Mr. Unsupportive is planning to uproot everything and move to the country so my wife and daughters can have horses on site.
Shame on me. I’m such a jerk.
In a couple of years, I want to buy a $450,000 spread on about a dozen acres and let my wife’s dreams come true.
Or, we could buy a couple of horses now and never have the money for a down payment.
Or, we could buy the farm now, buy the horses now, spend every last cent of our savings on a down payment, spend more than half of our income on our mortgage payment, never get ahead, and end up losing everything.
Such a jerk.
This is a case where we have to do everything in the right order, or it will all come tumbling down on our heads in a few years. If I have to be the bad guy to avoid screwing ourselves later, so be it.
Saturday Roundup – Holiday Edition
Merry Christmas.
Or, Happy Saturday, as the case may be.
T0day, we are herding all of my nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters-in-law, and parents into my house for a second Christmas dinner and gift exchange. It’s the first holiday we’ve hosted. It should be interesting.
On a side note, we’ve gotten so much snow, I’ve almost lost my grill, sitting on my deck. Another 2-3 inches, and my patio table will be just a white mound of cold.
Best Posts
Here is a great story about waking up the Christmas spirit. That’s spirit, not spirits. We’re not discussing booze.
Think you can retire on a million bucks? Think you can get to a million bucks?
I’ve recently realized that I’ve spent more time on the hiring side of the interview table than the out-of-work side. I’m nowhere close to 500 hires, though.
Oooh! Shopping for money! That’s something I’m going to look into. Nothing like turning habits into cash.
This is some serious travel hacking. 15 flight, 16 cities, 9 countries, 35000 miles for $400.
LRN Timewarp
This is where I review the posts I wrote one year ago.
The secret to fearless change? Just get started. Everything else will follow.
I also wrote a post about one of my core values. Without integrity, what can you really have?
Finally, a post on how distractions will kill your productivity.
Carnivals I’ve Rocked
How Much Should You Tip? was an Editor’s Pick in the Festival of Frugality. Thanks!
Shaving for Real was included in the Carnival of Money Stories.
Anchor Price Your Salary was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.
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That’s all for today. Have a great weekend!