- RT @ScottATaylor: The Guys on "Pickers" should just follow the "Hoarders" teams around- perfect mashup #
- PI/PNK test: http://su.pr/2umNRQ #
- RT @punchdebt: When I get married this will be my marital slogan "Unity through Nudity" #
- http://su.pr/79idLn #
- RT @jeffrosecfp: Wow! RT @DanielLiterary:Stats show 80% of Americns want to write a book yet only 57% have read at least 1 bk in the last yr #
- @jeffrosecfp That's because everyone thinks their lives are unique and interesting. in reply to jeffrosecfp #
- @CarrieCheap Congrats! #CPA in reply to CarrieCheap #
- @prosperousfool I subscribe to my own feed in google reader. Auto backup for in between routine backups. Saved me when I got hacked. in reply to prosperousfool #
- @SuzeOrmanShow No more benefits? I bet the real unemployment rate goes down shortly thereafter. in reply to SuzeOrmanShow #
- Losing power really make me appreciate living in the future. #
Filing Bankruptcy: Pride or Shame?
I’m a big fan of personal responsibility. If you’ve promised to do something, you should do it. With that said, it seems odd to some people that I don’t have an ethical problem with bankruptcy. For some people, it is the only option after a long series of problems.
Don’t get me wrong, it should be a shameful decision. Reneging on your word should never be a source of pride. It should be a difficult decision to make. A couple of years ago, I came very close to making that decision myself.
It should not be a reason to celebrate and it should absolutely not be a reason to behave irresponsibly. Some people don’t see a need to take care of their responsibilities because, when it gets bad, they’ll be able to file bankruptcy and make the creditors go away. They are abusing a safety net. That abuse hurts everyone. Credit card companies have to charge higher interest rates so the paying customers can cover the risk of those who default or file bankruptcy.
There is one prominent local bankruptcy attorney who files every 10 years, and has filed consistently for decades. He runs a thriving practice, so it’s not a matter of poor choices, it’s a matter of deliberately living beyond his means and screwing his creditors. He’s one of the slime-balls that give lawyers a bad name. He is one of the many who abuse a lifeline designed to save people from a life of destitution they didn’t ask for, and he does it to finance his extravagant lifestyle.
If you have found yourself buried in a debt you didn’t plan for, if life threw you a curve-ball that you are entirely unable to deal with, if you have to file bankruptcy, it’s okay. Really. When you go in front of the judge, have the decency not to enjoy it, and try to learn from the experience.
A Perfectly Maid Home
Last night, I got home after a 13 hour day at the office and found a spotlessly clean house. The laundry was folded. The dishes were done, and everything was put away.
It was great.
I work 80 hours a week, 90 if you count commuting time.
That’s about 50 hours at my day job, 10-15 hours working on this site, and 20-30 hours working on my other side hustles. Some weeks, my volunteer geek skills get put to use for a local non-profit, too.
My wife works at least 40 hours every week.
We chase our kids around, plan or birthday parties, visit family, take care of the yard, and do everything else that every other family does.
The difference is that, if I take work in all of its forms out of the equation and give myself permission to get a full night’s sleep every night, I have a total of 20-30 hours per week to eat, socialize, and spend time with my family. That not a lot.
I hate cleaning.
Between my work schedule and my cleaning aversion, I’m not always a lot of help around the house.
Half of my work time is spent at home. It’s hardly fair to expect my wife to clean up after me.
This has been a huge point of contention between us. She sees me on the computer and gets frustrated when I’m not helping her clean up. I get frustrated because I’m trying to make us some extra money, but she’s complaining that I’m not cleaning.
About a month ago, we hired a housekeeper. She comes every other week for a few hours and does a phenomenal job cleaning our house. We pay her about $150 per month for the work.
It’s been great.
My wife is happy because the house is clean. I’m happy because the complaining has stopped. Our housekeeper is happy because it’s more money. It’s a win/win/win scenario.
Now, $150 is a decent amount to add to our debt snowball, but paying for the cleaning services facilitates my side hustles, which bring in quite a bit more than $150 per month, so it’s even a good idea financially.
Even if it’s not, the peace of mind of knowing that I didn’t have to fold all of the laundry that was waiting for me yesterday makes it worthwhile.
How about you? Would you consider hiring a maid? Why?
Carnival Roundup and Life Update
The last few months have been insane for me.
- I’ve been working 50+ hours per week at my day job, but we’ve hired more programmers, so that’s going to calm down.
- I’ve been putting 30+ hours per week into my side businesses.
- Until two weeks ago, we had wrestling practice or meets 3-4 nights a week.
- I’ve got so much going on, my insomnia is going nuts. I wake up at 2AM with my mind racing, and fall back asleep between 4 and 5 every night. I’ve got meds for that, but I have to take them by 9PM or I’m too drowsy in the morning. Taking sleeping pills at 9 cuts into my side-hustle productivity.
If I’ve been out of touch, that’s why and I’m sorry. I’ve been feeling a bit neglectful around here. I am actively working to reduce my day-job hours to a reasonable 40-45 per week, without increasing the time spent on the other things in the list. I need to spend more time with my family and friends and spend some more of the side-hustle time here.
Live Real, Now was included in following carnivals recently:
Yakezie Carnival – Easter Edition hosted by Roshawn Watson
Carnival of Personal Finance #356 hosted by Money Drain
Totally Money Carnival #62 hosted by Stupid Cents
Carnival of Tax #101 hosted by Don’t Mess with Taxes
Festival of Frugality #331 hosted by One Smart Dollar
Yakezie Carnival – Have Fun Edition hosted by Tackling Our Debt
Yakezie Carnival – April Fool’s Edition hosted by Passive Income to Retire
Yakezie Carnival – Severe Weather Edition hosted by Money Qanda
Carnival of Money Pros – Tax Rush Edition hosted by Novel Investor
Thanks for including my posts.
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The Lord Will Provide
Debtors like to make excuses.
When I used to work collections, I’d try to work out a payment plan to get people out of debt, and I often heard “The Lord will provide” as their only excuse for not paying the money they owed.
That’s crap. It’s not a financial plan. It’s not a life plan.
It’s a crappy excuse to make you feel better about why your life sucks, has always sucked, and will–most likely–continue to suck.
Over the weekend, I got to spend quite a bit of time with family, including some that we don’t get to see often. One couple in particular really stands out. Neither of them are employed. She’s got some medical problems and has several major surgeries recently. I’d give her a pass for that, but she was unemployed for many years prior to that. He used to have a job, but lost it a couple of years ago, and is now milking welfare with his wife and daughter. They recently lost their house and had to move in with his mother.
Neither one is looking for work. Between the two of them, they smoke 4-5 packs of cigarettes a day. They want to buy a house soon, or rent an apartment, or something. They aren’t very clear in their planning because, “It’s in God’s hands.”
No plan, no ambition, no goals. I don’t understand how anybody can go through life with no intention of improving it. How can you try to hide behind platitudes instead of making things better?
Here’s the bumper sticker that can actually improve your life: “Good things come to those who bust their asses and make good decisions.”
It’s not the easy path, but in the long run, it’s a better path and one of the few paths that doesn’t lead to royal life-suckitude.
5 Ways to Change Your Spending Habits
If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to keep getting what you you’ve always gotten. One of the hardest things about getting out of debt is changing your habits. You need to break your habits if you’re going to get yourself to a new place, financially.
How can you do that? Habits aren’t easy to break. Ask any smoker, junkie, or overeater what it takes. There are a lot of systems to break or establish habits, but they don’t all work for everyone.
Here are my suggestions:
- Commit to just 30 days. I’m a big fan of doing new things for 30 days. If you can do it for a month, you can do it forever, no matter what “it” is. For just one month, don’t buy anything. I don’t mean avoid buying groceries or toiletries and I certainly don’t mean to stock up on new crap the day before your 30 day spending fast or rush out for a shopping spree on day 31. Just don’t buy anything for a month, no exceptions but the things necessary to stay alive and healthy. No movies, no games, no cars, no toys, and no expensive meals. Just 1 month.
- Switch methods. If you pay for everything with a credit card, restrict yourself to just cash. If you pay cash for everything, switch to a credit card. Breaking your long-established habits is a way to get used to spending consciously: taking the time to think about what you are doing, instead of just spending mindlessly.
- Identify your spending triggers. I can’t go into a book store and come out empty handed. So, I avoid bookstores. My wife has problems with clothing stores. A friend can’t walk out of a music store without some body piercing equipment. What are your triggers? What makes you spend money without thinking? Figure out what those things are and then avoid them like the plague…or the clap.
- Quit buying things for pleasure. Buying things makes us feel good. It sends a rush of endorphins through our bodies. The more we get that rush, the more we crave that rush, so the more we do to get it. You need to stop that. Before you buy something, ask yourself if it’s something you actually need, or if you just want a pick-me-up.
- Avoid shopping online. E-commerce sites make it far too easy to buy things at a moment’s notice. You don’t have to think about what you are doing or if you actually need whatever you are buying. You just buy. The best way too avoid them is to delete your credit card information from any site that save the information and delete the sites from your bookmarks. Whatever you can do to slow down the buying process will make it easier to avoid buying things, which can soon be stretched into NOT buying things at all.
Habits—especially bad habits—are hard to break. There is an entire self-help niche dedicated to breaking habits. Hypnotists, shrinks, and others base their careers on helping others get out of the grip of their bad habits, or conning them into thinking it is easy to do with some magic system. How do you avoid or break bad habits?