- Happy Independence Day! Be thankful for what you've been given by those who have gone before! #
- Waiting for fireworks with the brats. Excitement is high. #
- @PhilVillarreal Amazing. I'm really Cringer. That makes me feel creepy. in reply to PhilVillarreal #
- Built a public life-maintenance calendar in GCal. https://liverealnow.net/y7ph #
- @ericabiz makes webinars fun! Even if her house didn't collapse in the middle of it. #
- BOFH + idiot = bad combination #
Bonding Relationships
People can’t be happy in a vacuum. We are social creatures. Even the most anti-social among us needs some human contact. How can you make that contact happen in a meaningful way? How can you connect with other people beyond some superficial meaningless chatter?
According to Keith Ferrazzi in his book, Who’s got your back, there are four mindsets necessary to build lifelong relationships.
1. Generosity. This is your promise to help others succeed. If have a skill that can help someone you know, why not give them a hand? when you help others, you are building social capital, which is a currency that cannot be bought. Since our lives are not ledger books, you can’t do favors with repayment in mind, but it is reasonable to assume that the people ou help will want to help you some day.
An often overlooked generosity strategy is to give away 90% of everything. I’m not suggesting you give away 90% of your wealth or possessions. I’m suggesting you give away 90% of your personal product. Plan to give away 9 times more than your receive. This will not only keep your from being disappointed, but it will also leave you feeling very fulfilled.
2. Vulnerability. It is important to let down your guard and let the world see your humanity. It’s almost impossible to truly connect with someone who’s shields are always up: the guy who seems to be invulnerable and unapproachable. The people you spend time with know your flaw anyway. If you pretend they don’t exist, you are only fooling yourself. I have a lot of problem with this one. Letting down my guard is incredibly difficult, in almost every circumstance. It is far easier to be strong than to let myself be vulnerable.
3. Candor. Total honesty is vital to establishing–and maintaining– lifelong relationships. Even the white lies can destroy your connections. If you can lie about the little things, you are planting doubts on everything else you do and say. Who can trust you then? Lying is inappropriate in almost all conceivable cases. I was raised that a man’s word is his bond. Almost everything you have can be taken away from you, but not your honor. That can only be destroyed by you. Without it, what do you really have?
4. Accountability. You need to follow through on your promises. Be Mr. Reliable(or Mrs!). If you say you will do something, do it! Nothing builds resentment faster than disappointing the people who are counting on you. If you can’t meet a commitment, let the soon-to-be-let-down know as early as possible, so other plans can be made. If you have a hard time keeping promises, then make fewer of them.
If you embrace these principles, you will be well on your way to building–and keeping–strong, satisfying relationships that benefit everyone.
How do you build your relationships?
Saturday Roundup – Side Hustles Rock
- Image via Wikipedia
We’re busy cleaning for our party next weekend, followed by spending an evening lying in a coffin in my yard, scaring the crap out of kids and giving them candy.
The best posts of the week:
Right now, I am actively pursuing 4 separate side hustles, 3 of which are generating actual cash. It’s about $500 a month at the moment, but each of them are growing. My goal is to hit $1500 a month by spring and have full replacement income within 2 years. Everybody should have some kind of side income, just as a safety net.
One of my side hustles involves training in a niche with 200 companies competing for about 10,000 one-day students each year. I could try to compete on price, but that’s an arms race to bargain-basement pricing. Instead, we compete on value, and as such, we’re on track to bring in several multiples of our share of students this year, with growth projected to go well beyond that next year.
Knowing how much more I enjoy my side projects over my straight job, I want to encourage my kids to develop their own lines of income that will allow them to live the lives they want to live, without being a leech on society.
If they can start to get some of their own income, they can learn the value of the things they own, instead of assuming that everything is free. I will not spoil my kids.
Finally, a list of the carnivals I’ve participated in:
Actions Have Consequences has been included in the Festival of Frugality.
If I missed anyone, please let me know. Thanks for including me!
Book Review: Small Message, Big Impact
I was recently given an advanced reader copy of Small Message, Big Impact by Terri L. Sjodin. It’s a book on crafting an effective and persuasive elevator speech.
An elevator speech is, according the the author, “a brief presentation introducing a product, service, philosophy or an idea. The name suggests the notion that the message should be delivered in the time span of an elevator ride, up to about 3 minutes. Its general purpose is to intrigue and inspire a listener to want to hear more of the presenter’s complete proposition in the near future.” It’s a 3-minute speech you give to intrigue someone enough that they will let you give a real presentation.
A lot of people–probably most–use their 3 minutes of unexpected access as an “information dump”. They pour as much data as possible into their audience. According to Sjodin(and I agree!), and elevator speech needs to be primarily persuasive, not informative. You need to include enough information to back up your persuasive arguments, but too much information is at least as bad, if not worse, than too little.
An elevator speech is either a sales pitch or a waste of time. You are selling the right to give more detailed information at a later time. The elevator pitch is not about making the sale. It’s about advancing the ball toward the eventual sale.
Who needs an elevator pitch? You do. Everybody sells. Even if you don’t have a product, a service, or a business, you have yourself. Can you pitch your boss on why you deserve a raise or a promotion?
The author walks you through creating an elevator speech that takes advantage of Monroe’s Motivated Sequence to advance your goal, whatever that is. She’ll teach you how to grab your audience’s attention and make them recognize a need for change. You’ll offer a solution, help them see the super-ninja-awesome future you’re offering, and give them a clear call to action. All in 3 to 5 minutes. Small Message, Big Impact will also teach you to provide a clear progression through those steps, making it easy for your target to say yes.
You’ll learn the basic outline of an elevator speech, including how to grab your target’s interest, build a persuasive case, and establish credibility when you’ve been surprised with a few moments of access. The three pieces of any successful presentation, from an elevator speech to a full-day presentation are
- Case. If you can’t make your case, nothing else matters.
- Creativity. You won’t win by being the same as everyone else. The same product, the same service, the same buzzwords won’t differentiate yourself from the competition.
- Delivery. Stumbling, stammering, and talking to the wall will make the the best product and the most creative presentation sound like crap, every time. You need to build your presentation and practice it, so you come across and smooth an knowledgeable.
One of the best ways to sound credible, which will assist your delivery like nothing else, is to use an authentic voice. Be sincere and sound it. Believe in the material and yourself. Know the material–inside and out–and practice it until you can deliver it smoothly, even if that means enlisting a friend for speech practice.
Of the books I’ve reviewed, I think this is my favorite. If you need to design an elevator speech or improve the one you’ve been using, you should read this book. Even if you don’t care about an elevator speech, the book provides a decent education on persuasive selling that easily carries over to the written word.
How would you(or do you) use an elevator speech?
Getting Back on Track
Have you ever set a goal…and failed?
At some point, it happens to all of us. After all, our reach should exceed our grasp, right? That doesn’t make it easy to admit failure, or to correct it. Did you let a New Year’s resolution lapse, or slip off of a diet? Have you started shopping indiscriminately again, or stopped going to the gym?
It’s okay if you did, but it’s time to fix it.
How can you get back on track after failing a goal?
1. Pick a day to start over.
Just like when you first started towards your goal, you have to decide when you’re going to get back on board. If you can’t decide, just pick the beginning of the next month. A new beginning is a great time to tackle your new beginning.
2. Recommit.
You failed once. Accept it and move on. Past behaviors don’t have to be an indicator of future performance. Just do better this time.
3. Announce it.
Somebody has noticed that you aren’t on the wagon. Your coworkers are seeing you eating candy, or your spouse has noticed you buying things you don’t need. Talk to these people. Tell them you’re going to redo the things you’ve undone. You’ll change the world, but you have to start with yourself.
4. Don’t be ashamed of your lapse.
Unless I have seriously misjudged my audience, you are human. Humans sometimes make poor decisions. Being ashamed won’t help you, but take the opportunity to learn from the past. Do you know what caused you to fail? Are there triggers to your behavior that you can avoid this time around? When I quit smoking, I tried to avoid rush hour, because I smoked heavily while I drove and I wanted to avoid being in car for as long as possible, minimizing one of my triggers. What cause your lapse, and can you avoid it?
5. Don’t do it again.
This one should be the most obvious, but the fact that it’s a problem means it’s not. Do whatever it takes to not make the same mistakes and uphold your goals. Don’t smoke. Don’t eat garbage. Exercise more. Whatever you’ve decided to do or not do, do it….or not.
Have you missed a goal? How have you picked it back up?
ING Rocks
I just got an email from INGDirect. To celebrate Independence Day, they are having a sweet, sweet sale.
You can:
- Open a checking account and get between $50 and $126 for doing so.
- Open a Sharebuilder account and get $76 to start buying stocks.
- Get $1776 knocked off the closing costs of a mortgage.
- Get $76 in a new IRA, to give you a little boost for retirement.
Take advantage of all of that and you’ll get $2054 in cash or discounts.
Seriously, this deal rocks. If you don’t have an INGDirect account, get one. There are no overdraft fees and no monthly fees.
The sale ends tomorrow at midnight, so hurry.
