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Appearances Matter

As my wife ramps up her job search, I’m reminded of this post and decided to bring it to the forefront.

A few weeks ago, I took my son out to my favorite Chinese buffet. There were two women there with names tattooed on their eyelids.

When you have someone’s name tattooed on your eyelids, you are limiting your job prospects to tattoo-shop employee or drug mule. You have disqualified yourself from a burger-flipping career.

When I turned 21, I had 13 piercings in my face and dyed-black hair past my ribs. Everybody is the factory I worked in got used to my bullring in time.

When my son was born, I decided I’d had enough of 12 hour graveyard shifts and not seeing my family, so I pulled out my piercings, put on a nice shirt, and got a corporate-style job in a call center.

Within a week or two, I put most of my piercings back in, and let everyone get used to it.

Six years later, I got laid off, and again, took out my piercings to look for work.

Appearances matter.

I know, for certain, that I wouldn’t have the job I have right now if I still had long hair and enough metal in my face to get me “special” attention at the airport.

A ring of steel through your nose kills the first impression in a business environment.

When you are walking into a situation for the first time, it’s important to pay attention to the persona you are projecting. Ladies, if the gentleman in the picture showed up for a blind date, would you be inclined to go anywhere with him? Men, would you expect anyone to go anywhere with you, if this was you?

Visible tattoos are called job-stoppers for a reason. If you can’t cover them with normal office attire, you won’t get hired in a professional setting. If that fact is a surprise to you, your lack of judgement means you wouldn’t be a good hire, anyway.

Like it or not, people make most of their decisions about others in the first few minutes of meeting them. Some studies show that it’s done in the first 30 seconds. If that time is spent on your facial art, the expletives on your t-shirt, or the briefness of your skirt, don’t expect to have anything else matter. You may be a genius, but your potential boss will never know that because you’ll be out on your butt before they have a chance to look at your resume.

Say Please

Finance

This is a guest post/reader story from a good friend of mine.

Greetings,

As a long time reader of Live Real Now, I’ve enjoyed the advice and the step by step, “I’ve been there” advice from Jason. Sadly, until now I haven’t really taken much of it. It was too much work. It was too hard. But the recent “Future Me” post really struck home so I looked for something that should be easy.

What I found was the concept of “Call and Ask”. I took a look at all of my accounts and utilities to decide which ones I was willing to change, drop, or reduce. The two I came up with were Dish Network and CenturyLink DSL.

My plan was simple:

Look for their introductory offers
Compare to my current price
Call
Ask if existing customers are as important as NEW customers
Finally, be nice!

I started with CenturyLink since I needed to call them for a new modem in anyway. We’ve been with CenturyLink for years and I’ve been paying $34.99 for slow DSL and using it a couple times a week to work from home. Their new customer promotion is $19.99 for the faster service. I’d love to give you my script but I don’t entirely remember what I said. I believe I asked if they would extend the new customer rate to me and for how long. I know I pointed out that I would be out 3-5 days of internet service so now was the time to start trying to lower my bills. The customer service rep was actually pretty cool about it.

“Let me look at your account. We can offer you that rate for 12 months. After that the rate will be $54.99.”

That seems like a short term win for a long term loss, right?

His followup comment was golden: “Call us back in 12 months and see what specials we can offer you then.” So I went into Google Calendars and set myself a reminder 10.5 months from now.

Net effect: $15/month saved.

Next step: Dish Network.

We’re getting the Family Package which is already pretty inexpensive for Dish. Looking around, the new subscriber price was $5 less.

Same plan.

“Hello, I’m a long term subscriber. I see that you’re offering new subscribers the same package for less. Could you extend that offer to me?”

Same response… “Sure, you can have a $5 discount for 6 months.” Again, I set a Google Calendar reminder, this time for 4.5 months out.

Net effect: $20/month saved.

Can this go farther?

I recently purchased 3 pairs of F.O.M work jeans from Duluth Trading Company. Yes, they’re expensive, but they fit and last a long time. I’m not a small guy. (Ed. Welcome to the club!) Anyway, at the time their sale looked good: $10 off each pair when you order 3 or more. Coincidentally, I was down to a single pair after a deer hunting accident. (Don’t tie your jeans into your boots while field dressing a deer. You’ll stretch and then things get a bit breezy.) With $5 shipping, I saved $35 on that order for jeans I needed anyway.

I thought I’d done pretty well.

Fast forward to today where I see 20% off on everything and free shipping. And they’re still offering the $10 off deal I already used. I called Duluth Trading Company, and explained I was VERY happy with their pants and enjoyed the sale but was wondering if they’d please extend the 20% off sale to my prior order since it was so recent.

$23.70 back in my account.

Easy as pie and a polite: “Thank you for offering us the chance to make you happy with the transaction, sir.”

So, 3 nice phone calls, net effect:

Immediate: $23.70 in my pocket
Short term: $30 savings over the next 6 months
Long Term: $180 Savings over the next year
Total Savings: $233.75 for 15 minutes work

Deathbed Relationships

Life, Parenting, Relationships

My great-uncle has been depressed lately.

He lives in the same apartment building and my grandmother, his sister. They are just down the hall from each other.

Over the holidays, he’s seen a steady stream of people visiting my grandma, bringing cards and pictures, or taking her out to eat. Over Christmas weekend, she spent far more time away from home, celebrating with her kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids than she did at home.

He’s never met his great-grandchildren. He’s in his 70s, living in a retirement home attached to the nursing home he will most likely die in, and he’d like to see his descendants.

It’s too late.

He didn’t lose his relationship with his kids and grandkids in a fight. Instead, he spent his entire life doing his best to avoid all forms of responsibility. He spent 50 years avoiding supporting his family. He wasn’t there for them.

Of course they won’t be there for him.

There is a simple way to get your kids and your grandkids to dote on you in your old age: You spend your entire life being there when you’re needed.

Simple.

Building a relationship that can survive–or even thrive–in the times when you’ve got very little left to give takes a lifetime of commitment.

It starts the day your children are born, when you hold that precious little high-maintenance paperweight and swear that nothing bad will ever be allowed to happen to them. Then you teach them to walk, and teach them to talk, and kiss their booboos when they fall. And they will.

Day in, day out, you be there. You feed them, clothe them, punish them when necessary, and love them unconditionally even when they make it hard to like them. Every blessed day.

You soothe their pains, manage their fears, help them grow and turn into useful adults. Every flipping year.

When they are adults, you lend an ear, you lend a hand, you help with their babies, you offer advice, you listen and talk and you are there. Decade after decade.

Then, when you are old and broke and broken down, you’ve got people who love you, who cherish their memories with you. These are the people who will drive an hour out of their way to pick you up for dinner. They’ll carry you up the stairs you have trouble with. They’ll sit at your feet and listen to you tell stories. They’ll be there for you because you’ve always been there for them.

That’s how you get your kids and grandkids to visit you in the nursing home. Simple, not easy.

If you’ve missed their childhood–for whatever reason–it’s still possible to build that relationship, but it’s so much harder. You start by taking time out of your life to do spend time and be there. Help when you can with what you can. Be there.

If you wait until you are old and broke and broken down to start your relationship, it’s too late. Your kids will know that it’s just another example of your selfishness. If you’ve never made an effort to give, you’ve got know business expecting to get. You’ll be lucky to get an occasional phone call and a greeting card for the holidays.

Making Up Stories

Finance

Saturday night, as I was walking out of the pizza place, I saw a beautiful young brunette standing on the sidewalk talking on her cell phone.

As I walked past, I heard, “I could pay my rent if they’d just give me my last paycheck! They owe me like $200.”

That’s it.

Have you ever heard a tiny piece of a conversation and used that to build a back story in your own mind?

I do that all of the time.

In fact, I’m going to do that now.

First, what can I know from those two sentences?

She was unemployed. She was more worried about her last paycheck than her next one.
She had worked for a scummy, fly-by-night, something-or-other. Good companies don’t withhold paychecks.
She had no emergency fund. If she had one, $200 would be an inconvenience, not a disaster.
She rented, and had roommates. This conversation occurred in the parking lot of a pizza place in a reasonably affluent suburb. For $200, she wasn’t living alone. Whether she rented a room or shared an apartment would be a mere guess.

Those items can–I believe–be taken as fact, given the evidence at hand.

Now for the conjecture:

She was a waitress. A $200 final paycheck probably means her hourly wage was low. Besides, pretty, young, unskilled girls often become waitresses. It’s one of the few ways to make good money without a degree of any kind.
The restaurant wasn’t a chain. Chain stores have lawyers and procedures. They don’t withhold final paychecks.
She invites drama into her life. When you work for a company that makes a habit of shady practices, like withholding final paychecks out of spite, you know it happens. It’s not a surprise. If you continue working there, you are just waiting in line for your turn to have problems.
She wasn’t close to her family. In an emergency, $200 from Mom & Dad is nothing. In my mind, she only has one parent and isn’t close to that parent, but that’s purely invention.
Her friends are in the same boat. Short-term planning, no reserve cash, no room to let a friend couch-surf for a couple of weeks.
Next month, she’ll be having the same problems, but she’ll find someone else to blame. Her ex owes her money, or her roommate stole the last of her cash.

That’s my entirely unsupported guess of a young stranger’s life story. My opinion isn’t flattering, but how could it be, when $200 is enough to make the young woman panic?

Have you ever played this game?

Memorial Day

Misc

JUST A COMMON SOLDIER

(A Soldier Died Today)

by A. Lawrence Vaincourt

He was getting old and paunchy and his hair was falling fast,

And he sat around the Legion, telling stories of the past.

Of a war that he had fought in and the deeds that he had done,

In his exploits with his buddies; they were heroes, every one.

And tho’ sometimes, to his neighbors, his tales became a joke,

All his Legion buddies listened, for they knew whereof he spoke.

But we’ll hear his tales no longer for old Bill has passed away,

And the world’s a little poorer, for a soldier died today.

He will not be mourned by many, just his children and his wife,

For he lived an ordinary and quite uneventful life.

Held a job and raised a family, quietly going his own way,

And the world won’t note his passing, though a soldier died today.

When politicians leave this earth, their bodies lie in state,

While thousands note their passing and proclaim that they were great.

Papers tell their whole life stories, from the time that they were young,

But the passing of a soldier goes unnoticed and unsung.

Is the greatest contribution to the welfare of our land

A guy who breaks his promises and cons his fellow man?

Or the ordinary fellow who, in times of war and strife,

Goes off to serve his Country and offers up his life?

A politician’s stipend and the style in which he lives

Are sometimes disproportionate to the service that he gives.

While the ordinary soldier, who offered up his all,

Is paid off with a medal and perhaps, a pension small.

It’s so easy to forget them for it was so long ago,

That the old Bills of our Country went to battle, but we know

It was not the politicians, with their compromise and ploys,

Who won for us the freedom that our Country now enjoys.

Should you find yourself in danger, with your enemies at hand,

Would you want a politician with his ever-shifting stand?

Or would you prefer a soldier, who has sworn to defend

His home, his kin and Country and would fight until the end?

He was just a common soldier and his ranks are growing thin,

But his presence should remind us we may need his like again.

For when countries are in conflict, then we find the soldier’s part

Is to clean up all the troubles that the politicians start.

If we cannot do him honor while he’s here to hear the praise,

Then at least let’s give him homage at the ending of his days.

Perhaps just a simple headline in a paper that would say,

Our Country is in mourning, for a soldier died today.

Taco Seasoning

Recipe

A few weeks ago, Edward at If You Can Read, You Can Cook sent me a jar of his taco seasoning to try.

Yum.

He’s got four flavors: hot, medium, mild, and sweet cumin. Since I’m the only one in my family who likes spicy food, I asked for the sweet cumin.

This is a jar of pure taco flavor, without any of the burn. Tacos, burritos, omelettes, or Rice Krispies, nearly anything could benefit from a dose of this stuff.

Seriously, we’re done with the little paper packets from the grocery store. From now on, Edward is getting our taco seasoning business. We do large batches of tacos 2-3 times a month, so I’m looking forward to trying the other flavors, too.

http://www.ifyoucanread.com/if-you-can-read-you-can-cook-taco-seasonings-original-page-2/ I was not compensated for this post, other than getting a free jar to try. It’s just good.

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