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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

10 Dumb Money Moves

Finance

Free Money Finance has a post up on Stacy Johnson’s 10 dumbest money moves. I thought I’d share my take.

Here are the mistakes:

1. Not having a goal
2. Not having a spending plan
3. Attempting to derive self-esteem from possessions
4. Doing what everyone else is doing
5. Starting to save large and late rather than small and soon
6. Paying interest to buy things that drop in value
7. Turning down free money
8. Buying a new car
9. Buying more house than you need or can afford.
10. Not protecting your good credit

Here is my response(and a test: Orthogonal Monkey Silicon Beam)

1. For most of the last 15 years, I didn’t have much for financial goals. “Get more money” isn’t specific enough to be a goal, and our spending precluded the possibility, anyway. Right now, my financial goal is simple: Get out of debt. I’m down to about $61,000.

2. We have a budget, even if it’s been partially ignored for the last couple of months. If it weren’t for my side-hustles, we would have come out negative last month.

3. We struggle with this one a lot. “Keeping up with the Joneses” is an issue in our house. My wife’s closest family is 10 years older than we are, and has more stuff, which makes it hard to visit without making comparisons. We both know it’s irrational, but it’s the way it is.

4. We are fighting this one as well. The fight is going better than #3. We’ve stopped using new debt, which shocked our friends, and I’m working on launching a new business, to break more bonds.

5. Is 30 late? We’re saving small while he fight debt, but I think we started early enough to make the rest of our lives easier.

6. We pay far too much in interest each month, but there has been absolutely no new debt since April 2009.

7. I got into my company’s retirement plan to get the match, but that ends next month. My wife’s employer killed the match 5 years ago. There’s no free money to turn down anymore.

8. We bought a new truck, as part of our debt-accumulation, in 2001. In 2005, we instead bought a car as it came off a lease. It had 11,000 miles on it and that saved us $10,000.

9. We bought our house in 1998. It sits on 1/8 of an acre. sometimes space is tight, but we’ve watched so many people trade up and find themselves in severe trouble. I’m happy we’ve stayed here.

10. This is one we’ve always guarded. No matter how much debt we’ve had, we’ve made every payment. We’re hugging the underside of an 800 FICO score. Thankfully, we’re closing in on the point where FICO no longer matters, because we’re paying in cash.

What are your biggest money mistakes?

Lost Wallet: What to Do Before It’s Gone

Finance

The Costanza Wallet — Image by shareski via Flickr

I’ve never been mugged. Hopefully, fate has decided that I never will be. Given my habits, it is far more likely that my money clip will fall out of my wallet without me noticing.

That’s a significant piece of my life. That would mean I lost my driver’s license, my debit card, my business credit card, my insurance cards, my carry permit, and the only credit card I carry.

What happens when you lose your wallet? You go to the DMV and get your driver’s license replaced. You call your credit card companies and ask them to invalidate your credit card numbers and send you new cards. You write off the missing cash and hope you don’t need the business cards that you tucked in behind the photo of your great-grand-uncle’s neighbor’s cousin’s mistress’s puppy.

How do you reach your credit card company? You take the card out of your wallet, flip it over, and call the number on the back. But you lost your wallet? What now?

Do you have every statement, that comes with the phone numbers you need to call? I don’t. At this moment, I do not have the phone number for the bank that issues the debit card for my Health Savings Account. I don’t actually know who issued the card. I don’t even know who I would call to report the card missing.

How do you prepare for that? What can you do do make your life much less miserable when your wallet walks aways with a pickpocket, or falls out of your pocket while you’re tooling down the highway on the back of a motorcycle doing 100 miles per hour, dodging the police and winking at the innocent passerby rocking out to really bad back-room country western music in a late model orange convertible? (That’s probably just me.)

How would you prepare for a lost wallet?

There is an 6 step solution to remove all of the worry about someone finding your wallet and using your credit card to fund a Russian adult chat membership, the only site where basement-dwelling losers can talk to someone pretending to be the cooperative mail-order bride they are about to order.

Take everything that matters out of your wallet.
Find a copy machine or a scanner.
Put everything from your wallet on the scanner.
Scan it.
Flip the cards over and scan again.
Either print the scan and put it in a fire-proof safe, or encrypt it and email it to someone you trust who does NOT live in the same house you do. If your house burns down, you want to have access to the files.

Depending on the number of things you keep in your wallet, you might have to repeat the steps a few times to get it all copied. You definitely want to copy both sides, so you can have the card numbers and the phone numbers saved.

Now, if you lose your wallet, you have all of the information you need to deal with the problem and get those cards cancelled.

How do you track your cards and contact information?

Best of Money Carnival #87, the Gold Rush Edition

Misc

: Image via Wikipedia

Welcome to the Best of Money Carnival #87, the Gold Rush Edition.

On January 24th, 1848, gold was discovered in Coloma, California by construction overseer James W. Marshall. The following year, one hundred thousand people moved to California to either strike it rich, or profit from those who were trying to strike it rich. The gold rush began 163 years ago today.

10. N.W. Journey presents Business use of Home Deduction posted at Networth Journey and says, “How to deduct your business home expenses.”

Some people recommend stockpiling gold so you’ll have something of value to spend after society as we know it collapses. Does anyone know how to make change from a gold bar for a loaf of bread?

9. Darwin presents Present Value of Money Explained – MBA Monday posted at Darwin’s Money and says, “One of the most important financial concepts is also one of the most misunderstood. Make sure you understand the Present value of Money – with these real life examples. It will save you thousands!”

In 1854, a 195 pound gold nugget was found at Carson Hill in California. It was valued at $43,534. That would be worth $3,160,357.20 today.

8. RJ Weiss presents What Your Optimal Income? posted at Gen Y Wealth and says, “An exercise to find your optimal income level.”

Q: Which weighs more: a pound of feathers, or a pound of gold? A: A pound of feathers. Gold is weighed using Troy Weight, which only has 12 ounces per pound.

7. BWL presents How To Select A Financial Advisor posted at Christian Personal Finance and says, “Find out how to select the best financial adviser for you.”

Until the onset of modern electronics, which use gold because it doesn’t corrode or tarnish, gold had no practical value of its own. Its entire value resided in the fact that it was pretty and relatively scarce.

6. Miss T presents 10 Ways to $ave Energy Comfortably | Prairie EcoThrifter.com posted at Prairie Eco-Thrifter and says, “How great is it to save money and the planet at the same time?!”

Q: Which weighs more: a ounce of feathers, or a ounce of gold? A: A ounce of gold. Troy Weight has fewer ounces that avoirdupois, but each ounce weighs more. There are 31.1 grams in a Troy ounce, but only 28.4 grams in a standard ounce.

5. Craig Ford presents Employers Look at Credit Reports | Ludicrous or Smart Business? posted at Money Help For Christians and says, “Should employers be able to see your credit report?”

Outside of collectible or government-issued coins, gold is priced according to it’s spot price, which fluctuates constantly. Dealers will generally pay a percentage under spot when buying gold, then sell for a percentage over spot. Always know the spot price of gold before you agree to buy or sell any.

4. MoneyNing presents Tax Time: Do I Have to Report that Income? posted at Money Ning and says, “Did you receive any income last year? Do you really have to report everything?”

Gold is the 58th most rare natural element, out of 92.

3. Silicon Valley Blogger presents I Just Lost My Job! How I’m Downsizing My Household Expenses posted at The Digerati Life and says, “I share my story of job loss and what ideas I have for paring down my expenses in order to cope with this loss of income. In the meantime, I’m doing what I can to find a new job!”

Only 20% of the gold from the Gold Rush deposits has been reclaimed. The rest is still out there.

2. The Financial Blogger presents 5 Reasons Why You Need A Partner In Your Business posted at The Financial Blogger and says, “A post outlining the benefits of a business partner.”

As of the end of 2009, more than 160,000 tons of gold have been mined, most of which was done in the latter half of the 20th century.

And the winner is…

1. Amanda L Grossman presents Frugal Lessons from People Who Survived the Great Depression posted at Frugal Confessions – Frugal Living and says, “Have you ever met someone who was alive during the Great Depression? They are changed people. The Great Depression left a great impression on their thoughts, their styles, and their habits. I am fascinated by this time period, and researched the question of what frugal habits these people developed to survive.”

I’d like to thank everyone who participated. Next week’s host is PT Money, so don’t forget to submit your entry!

Year of the Unfair Fees

Finance

The year 2011 was a challenging economic year for many, with housing prices continuing to fall in many parts of the country, with unemployment numbers remaining high and with a credit crunch making it challenging for many to get new cards or unsecured loans.

Those going through economic turmoil were, unfortunately, faced with little understanding from many corporate conglomerates. In fact, so many companies instituted so many silly fees and surcharges that 2011 may as well be known as the year of unfair fees.

Whether you are taking out unsecured loans, opening a bank account or signing a TV service contract, it is up to you to read the contract carefully and be mindful of the fees you are being assessed.

Debit Card Use Fees

Many people who are trying to get out of debt and pay off credit cards, unsecured loans and other obligations may consider making a commitment to avoiding credit and using their debit card instead. Unfortunately, in 2011, many banks wanted to try to make this more expensive for consumers who were trying to be financially responsible.

Faced with a limit on the fees they could charge for debit transactions, a number of banks began to explore the idea of a monthly charge to consumers of between $4 and $5 just for using their debt card. Politicians and the public reacted so strongly against this, however, that the banks relented and gave up the plan. [ed. Just like Suze Orman’s new blunder!]

Fees for Depositing Cash

Also near the top of the list are the fees that certain banks institute to business customers who deposit large sums of money. Some banks will charge a small fee if you deposit in excess of a certain amount, depending upon the type for account you have. For instance, one major bank charges .20 for each $100 in cash deposited over $10,000. The fees are small, but some customers are still upset at the principle. After all, just what is that fee justified by since all you are going is giving the bank your cash to put into your account.

Airline Fees

Airline fees aren’t a new thing and almost everyone is now aware that they’ll be charged for bags on many flights. However, in 2011, some airlines decided to try to take things a step further. Passengers faced fees for booking a ticket, for printing a boarding pass at the counter instead of at home and even for taking a carry-on bag. These surprise fees that hit you may make it difficult to comparison shop for the best flights, making it harder for cash-strapped consumers to find affordable travel.

Early Termination Fees

Early termination fees have become standard for cell phone contracts, but the dreaded charges are now spreading to other industries as well. Some television service providers have now instituted early termination fees for consumers who end their contracts with the service providers early. The cable and satellite companies attempt to justify this by saying they need to cover the prices of the expensive equipment used to provide you with service, but the companies have come under fire anyway. In fact, one major satellite company recently had to settle with regulators over its business practices and cancellation policy.

Watching for Fees

Only by being diligent will you avoid the excessive fees that banks and other companies are beginning to institute in a time when every cent counts.

Post by MoneySupermarket.

My Mortgage is Smaller Than My Credit Card Balance

Finance

It’s been one heck of a spring summer for my family, financially speaking, and it turned out to be a bit more than we had budgeted for.

English: Victor Fung and Anna Mikhed dancing a... — English: Victor Fung and Anna Mikhed dancing a ballroom tango. The couple, dancing for the USA, came third in the World Professional Standard Championship 2009. Photo taken in 2006 by Porfirio Landeros, Kwixite Media, in San Diego, California. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Here’s what we’ve done on top of our regular spending, so far:

Remodeled both of our bathrooms(at the same time!) ($6000-ish)
Summer camp for two kids ($500)
Swimming lessons for three kids ($350)
Replaced the entire air conditioning system in my car ($1600)
Finished paying for our current round of ballroom dancing lessons($400)
New mattress on our bed($1200)
My wife is off work for the summer. Part time and sporadic hours when it’s not the school year.

Taken in reverse order…

Mattress

The wire frame on our mattress broke. I wish that was a complement to my prowess, but nothing was happening when it snapped. Sleeping with a jagged piece of steel poking you sucks, to say the least.

Dancing

Ballroom dancing is something my wife and I both enjoy, and it’s good exercise, so we decided to keep it up. We are officially in training for competition-level dancing, but now that our favorite place to dance is closed, we may not continue. The lessons are paid for through next spring, though.

Air conditioner

My A/C system “grenaded”. Basically, the insides decided to disintegrate and go flowing through the rest of the system, mucking it all up. And making the car undriveable. On the plus side, this hard-to-find leak I’ve been ignoring in favor of annual $75 A/C recharges is fixed, now.

Swimming, not dying

My youngest kids have never had swimming lessons and my oldest isn’t a strong swimmer. Helping my kids not drown is a good thing.

Camp

We put the down payment on camp back in February, then promptly forgot about paying for the rest of it until the deadline hit. I paused while typing this to add it to my budget so I don’t forget for next year.

The remodel

We had, at one point, $9500 set aside for the remodel, but I raided that account a few times if we went over on our monthly spending. Then, when we got the estimate, we neglected to include one of the subtotals together when we agreed to it, so the job cost more than I was expecting from the start. We still got a great price, though.

Until the tub surround didn’t come in a color we liked and could get in less than 6 weeks. So, we upgraded to porcelain tile.

And the ceiling started peeling.

And we decided to get nice fixtures, so it would be a bathroom we loved enough to demonstrate physically, for years to come.

And we noticed the basement bathroom floor tiles were loose.

So much money just poured out of my credit card.

At the moment, we have approximately $8,000 on our credit cards. That’s the highest balance we’ve carried in years. This month was the first time I’ve paid interest on a credit card since August 2012.

What’s our plan for the credit cards?

I get a $500 bonus every month. Getting this bonus is almost entirely under my control.
We gave our renters(two of our closest friends) a good introductory rent until their current lease expires. Their rent triples at the end of the month.
I stopped paying double mortgage payments.
We have some money in our emergency fund.
We should have about $1000 left in the remodel account when the job is finished.

That’s $1500 as an immediate payment, plus about $2300 per month on top of our normal spending to pay off the cards.

That means we’ll be down to about $4300 in two weeks. When my wife gets her first full paycheck at the end of September, we’ll have the cards paid off.

Then comes the challenge of catching back up on the mortgage. Until yesterday, we were projected to pay off our house on December 1. Our current balance is $4660, with a mandatory monthly payment of $470.58. That’s about 10 months of payments. We were making an extra $520 interest payment each month, which brought it down to the December payoff date. For the next 3 months, we’re only going to be paying roughly the minimum, which means we’ll have to pay a bit over triple for November and December to be done with it this year.

I think we can do it.

How do we avoid this in the future?

With our renters paying full rent now, our goal is to pretend Linda isn’t getting paid when her work picks up again in September. We want to save or invest everything she makes, on top of the current savings. Not all of that will be long-term, and not all of it will be spendable. That saving will include things like braces for the younger kids, vacations that are more than just long weekends, and maxing out both of our retirement accounts.

That should still let us pad out our emergency fund to 4 months of expenses by spring, which is a pretty good cushion for us.

I hope. I haven’t done the math.

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