- RT @ScottATaylor: Get a Daily Summary of Your Friends’ Twitter Activity [FREE INVITES] http://bit.ly/4v9o7b #
- Woo! Class is over and the girls are making me cookies. Life is good. #
- RT @susantiner: RT @LenPenzo Tip of the Day: Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. #
- RT @ScottATaylor: Some of the United States’ most surprising statistics http://ff.im/-cPzMD #
- RT @glassyeyes: 39DollarGlasses extends/EXPANDS disc. to $20/pair for the REST OF THE YEAR! http://is.gd/5lvmLThis is big news! Please RT! #
- @LenPenzo @SusanTiner I couldn’t help it. That kicked over the giggle box. in reply to LenPenzo #
- RT @copyblogger: You’ll never get there, because “there” keeps moving. Appreciate where you’re at, right now. #
- Why am I expected to answer the phone, strictly because it’s ringing? #
- RT: @WellHeeledBlog: Carnival of Personal Finance #235: Cinderella Edition http://bit.ly/7p4GNe #
- 10 Things to do on a Cheap Vacation. https://liverealnow.net/aOEW #
- RT this for chance to win $250 @WiseBread http://bit.ly/4t0sDu #
- [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-12-19
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My post 4 Ways to Flog the Inner Impulse Shopper is up in Free Money Finance’s March Money Madness tournament. Please take a moment to vote for me(Flog).
Thank you. That is all.
What motivates me financially?
This post was originally written for a blog swap run by the Yakezie personal finance blog network to answer the question “What motivates you to be financially responsible?“
This may not be the most original motivation, but I am financially motivated by my family. Before I had kids, I didn’t care much about money or “stuff”. My goal was to sell everything I owned and backpack Europe. Yeah, it’s a bit cliché, but that’s the way it is. I was also considering trying to live out of saddlebags while touring the country 1000 CCs at a time.
Now, I’ve got so many other considerations. Four, to be exact. A wife and three kids certainly change your perspective. If it doesn’t, you’ve got flaws that I can’t help you with.
When my family started, it was a huge wake-up call. Suddenly, I had responsibilities (cue scary music). Overnight, I had things to care about that didn’t involve a party, or instant gratification, or, well, me. Merlin the Stork floated down, waved a wand and Poof! I was a grown-up. This may not sound like much of a shock, but my wife and I had baby #1 when we were 20. Adulthood was still pretty new to us, and suddenly we’re parents?
As a grown-up, with three precious little monsters dependent on me for absolutely everything, I had to start worrying about their security. This was more than just keeping them physically safe. I’ve had to manage their emotional health, their physical needs, and their entertainment. They rely on me (and my wife!) for everything. How could I live with myself if I couldn’t put food on the table and a roof over their heads? Winter boots? Clothes without holes? Visits to the doctor? Have you ever noticed how much kids cost, even without considering the Japanese fad games and Barbie dreamhouses? Having a kid is like cutting a hole in your wallet and holding it over a blender nestled comfortably in a roaring fire fueled by napalm.
Then, after I’ve got them clothed, fed, sheltered, and entertained, I have to teach them how to be real people. I’m of the opinion that children in their natural state are little more than wild animals. Generally cuter, but that’s about it. It’s a parent’s job to train that ravenous little beast into an acceptable, successful person. Part of that consists of teaching the little brats how to start paying for their own clothes, food, shelter, and entertainment, and how to manage that without becoming a drain on society. Productivity and success can be defined a thousand different ways, but none of them include letting other people pay your way or borrowing money you have no intention or means of repaying. Ultimately, being an adult–being a successful part of society–involves recognizing your responsibilities and living up to them.
Caring for, providing for, and teaching my children the things I know provides me with an irreplaceable opportunity to watch them grow and learn, while giving me a chance to steer that growth. It is, without a doubt, the best, most satisfying, and most difficult thing I have ever done. The pleasure I get from raising my kids reinforces my desire to become the best person I can be.
Really, I just want to be the guy my kids think I am.
Making Up Stories
Saturday night, as I was walking out of the pizza place, I saw a beautiful young brunette standing on the sidewalk talking on her cell phone.
As I walked past, I heard, “I could pay my rent if they’d just give me my last paycheck! They owe me like $200.”
That’s it.
Have you ever heard a tiny piece of a conversation and used that to build a back story in your own mind?
I do that all of the time.
In fact, I’m going to do that now.
First, what can I know from those two sentences?
- She was unemployed. She was more worried about her last paycheck than her next one.
- She had worked for a scummy, fly-by-night, something-or-other. Good companies don’t withhold paychecks.
- She had no emergency fund. If she had one, $200 would be an inconvenience, not a disaster.
- She rented, and had roommates. This conversation occurred in the parking lot of a pizza place in a reasonably affluent suburb. For $200, she wasn’t living alone. Whether she rented a room or shared an apartment would be a mere guess.
Those items can–I believe–be taken as fact, given the evidence at hand.
Now for the conjecture:
- She was a waitress. A $200 final paycheck probably means her hourly wage was low. Besides, pretty, young, unskilled girls often become waitresses. It’s one of the few ways to make good money without a degree of any kind.
- The restaurant wasn’t a chain. Chain stores have lawyers and procedures. They don’t withhold final paychecks.
- She invites drama into her life. When you work for a company that makes a habit of shady practices, like withholding final paychecks out of spite, you know it happens. It’s not a surprise. If you continue working there, you are just waiting in line for your turn to have problems.
- She wasn’t close to her family. In an emergency, $200 from Mom & Dad is nothing. In my mind, she only has one parent and isn’t close to that parent, but that’s purely invention.
- Her friends are in the same boat. Short-term planning, no reserve cash, no room to let a friend couch-surf for a couple of weeks.
- Next month, she’ll be having the same problems, but she’ll find someone else to blame. Her ex owes her money, or her roommate stole the last of her cash.
That’s my entirely unsupported guess of a young stranger’s life story. My opinion isn’t flattering, but how could it be, when $200 is enough to make the young woman panic?
Have you ever played this game?
Paying for Rat
I’m cheap. I don’t even consider myself to be frugal. I’m cheap. A few days ago, I spent my entire year’s Halloween budget–on November 1st–so I could store my new treasures
for an entire year before using them, just to save $145.
However, there are some things that just aren’t worth going cheap.
When I first moved out on my own, a good friend walked me through the mistake of buying cheap cheese. A slice of the generic oil-and-water that some stores pass off as cheese will not cure a sandwich made from Grade D bologna.
That advice got me through some less horrible meals when I was younger.
Now, I’ve expanded the crappy cheese rule to extend to any meal I pay someone else to prepare. While I do occasionally hit a fast food restaurant when I’m traveling, I almost never do so any other time. I enjoy sitting down for a nice meal in a nice atmosphere while friendly people cater to my every whim. Well, almost every whim.
I’m not saying I go to $100 per plate steak houses every week, but I’m certainly not afraid to drop $20-$30 per meal.
My reasoning is simple: anything I can buy at a fast food restaurant or a cheap restaurant, I can make better at home for less. Why would I pay good money to sit at a sticky table and eat food that won’t let me forget it for 3 days?
If I’m going to spend the money, I’m going to eat something I either can’t make at home, or can’t make as well. Chinese food is one example. I can make it at home, but I don’t stock the ingredients, and I don’t enjoy the preparation, so I go out for it. Cheap Chinese food tends to be worse than anything else I’ve eaten, so I spring for good food. Cheap rat isn’t good rat.
How about you? What are you willing to pay full price for?
Black Friday Eve
Today is Black Friday Eve. It’s the day when people gather around the table and gorge in preparation for the mighty battle to
come on the fields of Wal-Mart.
We won’t be participating this year. My wife got laid off 3 weeks ago and I started a new job on Monday. The new job has a 2 week delay between pay period and pay check, so I won’t see a check until the middle of December.
We aren’t hurting but we are tapping into our savings to bridge the gap to paycheck #1. I just transferred $1200 to cover the gap. With that, the money we have to cover things not in our regular budget is $36. You can’t go too crazy on Black Friday with $36.
That isn’t draining our savings. We took some, but not all of it.
It isn’t raiding our Christmas present fund.
It isn’t taking money out of the braces fund.
Or any other fund.
This isn’t pain and we won’t be tasting poverty for Christmas. We just have to de-prioritize blind consumerism for the holidays.
Instead, we’ll sleep in a bit, then cuddle with a couple of little girls who will want to watch something horrible like Horseland first thing in the morning. We’ll follow that up with a leisurely breakfast, maybe a walk around the neighborhood pond and Thanksgiving-A-Day-Late with my wife’s family.
And a bit of remodeling and repair work on our rental property whenever my Dad can drag himself out of bed and come over.
It will be a good day and shouldn’t cost a cent. That’s what I’m thankful for.