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Nigella Lawson and the High Cost of divorce

Nigella Lawson Eats A Banana (Photo credit: Kaptain Kobold)

Heartache and heartbreak are hard enough to endure but imagine having to go through the loss of a relationship while the world looks on. Such is the high price of celebrity divorce and the latest victim is the beautiful and talented television chef, Nigella Lawson. Shocking photos of Nigella apparently being choked by her husband, Charles Saatchi, surfaced in the media following the June 9th dinner at Scott’s restaurant in Mayfair, London, where the incident occurred. Saatchi’s advisors urged him to humble himself and admit a public apology for the assault. Saatchi denied any wrongdoing, saying he never assaulted her and in fact, was actually removing mucous from his wife’s nose. Nigella was stunned by the admonition of “nose-picking” and his refusal to apologize. She left Saatchi and their family home in Chelsea.

The two sides continued to disagree about the pictures; Saatchi claiming it was just a “playful tiff” and Lawson hurt and humiliated by the public’s assumption of her as victim of domestic violence and her husband as her tormentor. Insult was added to injury on July 7th, when Saatchi announced his intent to divorce his wife in the media instead of directly to her. Lawson, who had been waiting for a public apology, was blind-sided by his cruel divorce announcement. Lawson and Saatchi have been married for 10 years; Saatchi has claimed that the couple had become “estranged” the last few years. Saatchi claims that he had no choice but to act publicly since his wife “failed to defend” him with a statement to the media. In fact, Lawson has remained silent at the advice of her publicist so as not to further affect their children. Lawson (53) and Saatchi (70) have three teenage children from previous marriages that they were raising together.In addition to the “he said, she said” controversy, Lawson and Saatchi will have to fight over $150 million in shared assets, including their $12 million Chelsea, West London home. Both brought substantial assets into the marriage. Charles Saatchi is worth $100 million from the high-profile, highly-successful New York advertising firm, Saatchi and Saatchi. Nigella Lawson is a celebrity chef, bestselling author and television star with a net worth of $15 million. By the time lawyers for both sides duke it out in court and attempt to untangle the shared assets, those net worths will be considerably less.But it’s not just a monetary cost to this celebrity divorce. Saatchi had grown increasingly resentful of his wife’s high-profile career that he helped established. It’s a common theme in celebrity couples; one partner becomes the higher earner or the more recognized celebrity and the other gets bit by that green-eyed monster, jealousy. In Nigella’s case, there is the public humiliation at the hands of someone she loves to endure. It seems that Saatchi is determined to do whatever he can to make her suffer in the media. And then there are the children; children always suffer in a divorce. It can be lessened when parents work together to keep it private and amicable. But it’s incredibly painful to have your lives dragged through the media. In this case, it is Nigella and Saatchi’s children that are paying the ultimate price.

I Smell a Scam

Finance

I hate scammers. Whether it’s the garage-sale shoplifter, telemarketing “charities” with 99% overhead, 3-card-monte

shell game (Photo credit: mixatal (Clive Power))

dealers, or the guy who begs Grandma for cash every week, they all need to be strung up. Since vigilante justice is generally illegal and occasionally immoral, it’s best to just avoid the problems from the start. Here are some scams to watch out for.

Pyramid Scams – All of the little parties people throw to earn free items at the expense of their friends are pyramid schemes. Most of those are legitimate money-sinks. A few, however, exist solely to get their “consultants” to bring in more consultants. The sales aren’t the actual way to make money. If you don’t have anyone “downstream” you won’t make any money. If the focus isn’t on selling an actual product or service, but is instead on bringing in people under you, you have entered the world of pyramid scams. Generally illegal and always immoral. Don’t sign up and, if you do, don’t ask me to participate.

Advance Fees and Expensive Prizes – If you win a contest and you are expected to send money to claim your prize, it is a scam. You don’t have to pay sales tax in advance. You don’t have to pay transfer fees. Real prizes are delivered free, accompanied by a 1099, because prizes are income. No prize requires pre-payment. No loan service requires “finder’s fees”. If it doesn’t sound right, don’t pay it and certainly don’t give your bank information to anyone you can’t verify.

Work at Home – The most common work-at-home job I’ve found is stuffing envelopes. You see the signs on telephone poles all over the city. “Make $10/hour stuffing envelopes from the comfort of your own home! Just send $50 to….” When you get the instructions, you are told to hand up signs telling people to send you $50 for instructions on how to make $10/hour stuffing envelopes. Everybody is feeding off of everybody else.

Charity – Never give money to a charity over the phone. Always take the time to verify where you are sending your money. Some freak may call to tug on your heartstrings with a sob story, but you don’t have to give them money. At least ask them to send it in writing so you can do some checking, first.

Phishing – Simply put, don’t click on any link in any email, unless you know where it is going. If it is a link to a financial institution, go enter the address into the address bar yourself. If you find yourself on a site you don’t recognize, don’t give them your personal information and don’t ever reuse your usernames and passwords. If you do, one bad site could get access to everything you do online.

[ad name=”inlineleft”]Foreign Lottery – To be clear, Spain did not just hold a international lottery and randomly draw your email address. No lottery in the world works that way. If you didn’t enter the lottery while you were in Spain, you aren’t going to win it. The scam is that you need to provide your bank information, including a number of release forms so the scammers can transfer money to you. In reality, you are signing over control of your account and will be wiped out.

Nigerian/419 Emails – Ex-Prince WhateverHisNameIs wants your help to get his fortune out of WhereverHeIsFrom. The New Widow Ima F. Raud has an inheritence that she won’t live long enough to spend. They’ve both been given your name as a trustworthy person to handle the transactions in exchange for a mere $10 million. What friends do you have that would make this seem legitimate? Once again, they will get your bank information and take your money. At a minimum, they will try to get you to pay a few thousand dollars for “Transfer fees”. Don’t do it.

Overpayment by Wire – I had this one attempted on my last week. You sell something online. A potential buyer agrees to purchase the item, sight-unseen. They’ll send a cashier’s check and, after it clears, one of their agents will pick it up. Unfortunately, the buyer’s secretary screwed up and added a zero to the check. Would you mind wiring the overpayment back, minus a small fee for the hassle? The check is bogus and there is no way to verify it. You’ll deposit the check and it will be assumed to be real. The bank will make the funds available well before it comes back as fraud. You’ll see the available funds and send the money by non-refundable Western Union and some thug in Nigeria gets a new iPhone.

Foreclosure Scams – Some scammers try to prey on the vulnerable because they are, well, vulnerable. If you are facing foreclosure, be very careful about where you turn for help. One scam is to get you to sign over your home “temporarily” to clear the title. That doesn’t work, but you won’t find that out until you are handed an eviction notice and told you still owe the money.

Stranded Friends – You get an email from a friend saying he’s in London/Moscow/Sydney/Wherever, and he’s been mugged. He’s got nothing and needs $2500 to get home. Can you help? Do you really have friends close enough to ask for a $2500 international bailout, but not so close they tell you about the vacation ahead of time? Would they really be too timid to call you collect instead of begging for change to use an internet cafe?

Selling Your Home: For Sale by Owner

Finance

: Image by Casey Serin via Flickr

When you’re preparing to sell your home, your first instinct is often to rush straight to a realtor. There are benefits to using a trained real estate agent, but it isn’t always necessary.

The biggest motivation to skip the realtor is avoiding the fees, which can run as high as 7% or more in some places. What does that 7% get you?

First, it gets you experience. Realtors know which hoops you have to jump through, from both a legal and a marketing perspective. Do you need an inspection? How much of your stuff should you move to storage? Are you comfortable with high-dollar negotiations?

Time is another critical item in the fee. Do you have a minimum of an hour to dedicate to advertising and screening potential buyers? Every day? Do you have a flexible schedule to show your house at times convenient for the buyers?

The third element is access to the Multiple Listing Service(MLS), which lets other realtors see your home listing. There are alternative listing services you can use, but none are as widely know as MLS.

There are some good reasons to use a realtor, but none of that means you can’t sell your home yourself. FSBOs are done every day.

If you are nervous, your local community education program may have a course on selling your home yourself. These courses are usually very affordable.

Some tips:

Be objective about pricing. Look at the selling price of similar homes in the area, NOT what your dream price is or how much you have spent on improvements.
Always keep your home ready to show. Keep the dishes done, everything put away, and the floors mopped. The “lived-in” look will not help your house sell.
Keep track of the potential buyers. Put the name, address, phone number, and any identifying notes in a spreadsheet so you can follow up later if your house doesn’t sell.
A bid is not binding. Don’t stop advertising until you close on the sale.
Make a fact sheet and blank purchase agreement that potential buyers can take home.
Hire professionals where necessary: lawyers, inspectors, and closing agents.

Selling your home yourself can be intimidating, but it is a job you can tackle yourself for a significant savings. Would you try it?

Fat guy running

Life

As part of my effort to improve every part of my life, I have decided to get back in shape. Twelve years ago, I worked in a factory during the day and cooked in a resaurant in the evening. I didn’t have a car, so I biked 5 miles in between my jobs. Fast forward 3 kids, a desk job, and 100 pounds later. I don’t enjoy getting winded on three flights of stairs and I like running while my daughter rides her bike. I’m going to get back in shape.

As a part of that effort, I recently bought a bike. I thought I was getting it for a steal, until I took it out. The chain kept slipping, the shifters were difficult, and it was too small for my frame. I took it back. A bike that would work well for me would cost $200-300, more than currently fits in my budget. Running is cheap, right? It is, unless I go for the runner-geek purchases. Every hobby and activity can become expensive if you let it. I may invest in some running shoes, but that will be the extent of my runner-geek shopping.

My plan was to run according to this this schedule, running every other day. Run one day, rest the next. The first day in week 3, I got petellofemoral pain, or “runner’s knee”. I went to the doctor and got x-rayed. There is nothing even hinting at major damage, which has always been a fear of mine, due to my barometer knee pain. The doctor gave me a sheet of stretching and strengthening exercises to do and told me to put running on hold for a bit. I will be doing the exercises every day this week. Next week, I’m starting over with my running schedule. I will be giving my knees an ice massage after each run and doing the exercises on the off days.[ad name=”inlineleft”]

I am writing this in October and have been running for half of September. Hopefully, the city will keep the roads plowed enough that I can run all through the winter. The schedule may slow down a bit, depending on weather, but I’m hopeful. By the time this posts, I will have a lot more information about how well I am doing.

Update: Mid-November. Where did the last month go? It’s amazing how fast time slips away if you aren’t watching it. My barometer knee pain has been back, and life has been hectic. I need to get his habit going again, before it freezes to much to start.

Be Prepared or Be Me

Finance, Life

We had some nasty storms roll through over the weekend. There was a lot of tornado-ish activity, 70 mile-an-hour gusts of wind, hail, and an electrical blackout. For almost 24 hours, we were living in the stone age, with nothing but smartphones for internet, and high-lumen flashlights being used to see. With no cartoons for the girls, we were forced to read them bed-time stories, while my son and his friends were forced to use their imaginations to entertain themselves.

Every time we called, the electric company added 12 hours to their estimated repair time. Amazingly, they came in 7 hours ahead of schedule, if you don’t count the first two revisions.

By Saturday afternoon, we were out shopping for things we should have already had ready.

For years, we had discussed buying a generator. For some reason, it never became a priority. We have a large freezer and refrigerator full of food. With no electricity, a generator was suddenly prioritized. All of the places near us were sold out of budget-priced generators when we decided it was better to drop $400 on that than to lose $600 worth of food. We did find one, eventually, but it would have been better to take it out of the garage than have to shop for it when we needed it. Naturally, 10 minutes after we got it home, the power came on. Do yourself a favor: if you own a home and have a small corner available for storage, start shopping for a generator. Pick one up on sale instead of waiting until you have no real choice.

We have a ton of batteries. It’s one of the things we stock up on when they are on sale. Unfortunately, our broadest-beam flashlight takes a 6-volt battery, and we don’t keep a spare. By the end of the night, it was getting pretty yellow and dim. Another night would have killed it completely. This wasn’t a widespread blackout, so there was no shortage of batteries, but it would have been nice to have the spare already at home. Check your emergency supplies and make sure you have replacement batteries that fit everything you need.

The one thing that would have improved the night most is a good lantern. We had our 5, plus two of my son’s friends all trying to play board games by flashlight. A lantern could have been set on the entertainment center and lit most of the room.

For everything we were without due to the blackout, the one thing I truly missed was the air conditioner. When the storm died, so did the wind. Completely. Opening all of the windows didn’t help at all. Other than that, it was nice to have everyone forced to interact. Nobody was whining about being bored and we were all having fun.

I want to schedule a pseudo-blackout more often.

Saturday Roundup and Updates

Misc

: Image via Wikipedia

I’ve decided to do away with the Twitter posts on Saturdays. If you want to see the glorious wisdom that is my Twitter feed, follow me on Twitter. I’m @LiveRealNow.

Please take a moment to subscribe to Live Real, Now by email. You get a choice between having all of the posts delivered to your inbox, or just occasional updates and deals. Both options get my Budget Lessons, free of charge.

Now, for the part you’ve all been waiting for…

The Best Posts of the Week!

Tim Ferris is giving away a trip to anywhere in the world. All you have to do is donate to his preferred charity for his birthday!

A Mirrored Memory reminds us that nobody feels old in their heart.

A law for everything and everything is a law? Why can’t people just accept occasional discomfort or unpleasantness in exchange for freedom?

My wife hates sweet potatoes. Well, she did until I introduced her to sweet-potato fries. I wonder if I can get her to try this recipe? It’s missing marshmallows, though. That’s a definite culinary failure when it comes to sweet-potatoes.

The University of Georgia is offering a free home-study food-preservation course.

Carnivals I’ve particpated in:

The Carnival of Personal Finance at NerdWallet has included Beat the Check.

The Festival of Frugality at Modern Tightwad has included The 10-Step Saving Action Plan.

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