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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

How to Have a Perfect Life

Life

A few years ago, my wife and I were discussing life improvement, the options in front of us, and our future goals. She said she felt trapped by the scope of our goals and didn’t know where to start. That led to a discussion on

achieving our goals, which led to this.

Examine your life. Take stock of every aspect of your life. What pleases you? What upsets you? What do you do that adds no value to your life? Or worse, removes value? What do you do that adds the most value? What would you like to change? Eliminate? Improve? Count the small things. Nothing is insignificant. Write it all down and be specific.

Analyze your list. Are there any obvious patterns? Is there a single thread that is making you miserable or affecting multiple other items? Would eliminating 1 factor improve 90% of the rest? Is there a bad job or a toxic relationship ruining your happiness? Be honest and be critical.

What are your dreams? Where would you like to be in six months? A year? 5? 10? How would you like to retire? When? Write it all down. This is now your life plan.

Set goals. Set concrete, definable goals. Set goals that have an obvious success point. When you reach your goal, you want to be able to point it out. “Lose weight” is not a goal. “Lose 50 pounds in the next year” is a measurable, definable, concrete goal. Set incremental goals to reach your larger goals and, more importantly, your dreams.

Here’s an example:

Dream: Retire at 50.

Incremental Goal: Get a 10% raise within 6 months
Incremental Goal: Eliminate debt within 3 years
Incremental Goal: Max out 401k contribution
Incremental goal: Save 150,000 within 10 years
Incremental Goal: Save 45k each year after that.
Retire

When you are setting up your goal plan, make sure to include the analyzed items mentioned earlier. These are the things that will make today happier for you.

Now, you have examined your life. You have analyzed the results. You’ve gathered your dreams and compiled a goal plan based on your hopes, dreams, goals and desires. What’s next?

We’re going to take a page from David Allen. It’s time to Get Things Done. What do you have to do next to reach your goals? What is the next step? Don’t let yourself be overwhelmed by the scope of the entire list. Select one single item from your plan and look for the one single next step to make on the path to that goal.

Going back to the retirement goal plan, the next step towards a 10% raise could be researching salaries for your job description in your area to give you ammunition in the meeting with your boss. It could be updating your resume to hunt for a better paying job, or even just studying up on some resume tips.

If you want to run a marathon next year, the next step is to start walking every day to train your body.

If you want to improve communication with your spouse, the next step is probably to let her know.

If you want to eliminate debt, the next step may be setting up a budget or canceling unnecessary services like cable.

Every goal has a path leading to it. If that’s not true, you haven’t defined a concrete measurable goal.

Examine your life. Analyze your situation. Know WHAT you want. Know what you want to change. Set goals to get there, one step at a time. Take a single step towards your goals.

Then take another.

What are you doing to reach your goals and improve your life?

Toxic People

Business, Life

You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.

-Duncan Idaho, from God-Emperor of Dune

Some people suck the life out of everyone they encounter. Whether it be through lies, unreasonable demands, emotional abuse or manipulation, or just a vile personalty, the people they meet are worse off for the encounter. The people they interact with every day are screwed.

My time is too precious to waste any of it unnecessarily on people who remove value from it. I like being with people who enrich my life, instead.

Unfortunately, since I’m not an advocate for the use of hitmen, not every toxic person is easy to eliminate from your life.

Toxic people come in 3 basic varieties: professional, personal, and family. There is some overlap between the categories.

The personal category is easiest to deal with. These people aren’t relatives or coworkers, so you won’t see them at family gatherings or at work. I’ve dealt with these people in two ways.

First, there is the direct approach. One former friend, who was really only a friend when it was convenient for him(a pure leech), got told that he wasn’t invited to one of our parties because I was inviting his ex-wife, instead. That was the last time he called me.

The second option is far more passive. I set up a contact group in my phone called “Life’s too short”. At first, I set it up with a fairly insulting ring tone, but I later switched it to no ring at all. I don’t know they’ve called until I check my voicemail. It’s far less direct, but also far easier than the direct approach.

Dealing with the toxic people in your family is more complicated. You’ll see them at holiday gatherings, or hear about them during unrelated visits. You probably have a lot of memories growing up with them, and may feel some level of obligation–deserved or not–to maintain contact. It’s hard to break a tie that you’ve had your entire life.

Can you fix their behavior? It’s worth trying to have a frank discussion about how they are treating you, or the things they are doing. If the problem is that they are constantly bringing over their methhead boyfriends, banning the drug addicts from your home, while still welcoming the relative may be an acceptable fix. If the problem is a constant need to belittle you, demanding they stop may work. If the problem is a lifetime of emotional abuse, it probably isn’t fixable.

Is banishment an option? Can you put that creepy cousin on the Life’s Too Short list? You’ll still have to deal with him at family gatherings, but you can always leave the room when he comes in, right? Don’t engage, don’t participate in any conversation beyond a polite greeting, and don’t offer any encouragement towards regular contact.

It’s possible that it won’t be possible to fix their behavior and that you won’t want to banish the offender. If, for example, the offender is your mother (Not you, Mom!), you may feel a sense of obligation to maintain contact, or even be a primary caregiver at times. This is a line nobody else can draw for you. At some point, the current bad behavior could overwhelm the past obligations. When that happens are you prepared for it? That can be a traumatic break.

The other option, as cold as it sounds, is to wait it out. Nature will take its course, eventually. Can you wait that long, while maintaining your sanity and emotional equilibrium?

Professional toxic people include customers, vendors, and coworkers, none of whom are easy to get rid of.

If you own the business, you can fire your problem customers if the hassle outweighs the benefits you get from the relationship. You can find a new vendor, and you can fire the problem employees.

What happens if you are an employee?

If the problem is your boss, your options are to suck it up, talk to his boss, or find a new job. If the first is intolerable, and the second is impossible, it’s time to polish your resume.

If the problem is a vendor, you’ve got some options. Document the problems, first. Does he make inappropriate jokes, or badmouth you to your customers? Then, research the alternatives. Does one of his competitors offer an equivalent product or service? Take the documentation and research to your boss, or whoever makes that decision, and see if you can get your company to make the switch. The other option, is to request someone new to deal with at the vendor’s company, but that may not always be possible.

Finally, we come to the problem of toxic coworkers.

Some coworkers have the same problems as a toxic boss. Is the company vice-president the boss’s baby brother? You’re probably not going to find a win there. You’ll have to suck it up or move on.

Is the problem person working in an unrelated department doing unrelated tasks? It may be possible to start taking breaks at different times and leave him where he belongs: in the past.

Is the difficult individual sharing an office with you, demanding everything be done his way, and throwing daily tantrums? This is the one that has to be dealt with. He’s the one sucking the life out of you every single day.

First, start making use of a voice recorder. If you’ve got a smartphone, you’ve probably already got one. Otherwise, drop the $20 to buy one. This lets you document the evil. When his behavior goes hinky, record it.

Second, stand up for yourself. If he’s making unreasonable demands, tell him it’s inappropriate. He’s a bully, and bullies tend to back down when they are confronted.

Third, make sure the boss knows about the behavior. Yes, this is tattling. Get over it. If he wasn’t acting like he was a spoiled 4 year old, you wouldn’t have to tell the boss that he was. If the boss doesn’t know there’s a problem, he can’t deal with it.

Fourth, for any problem that isn’t directly aimed at you, ignore it. If he makes a habit of throwing a tantrum because somebody emptied the coffee pot, or because the company switched health plans, let him. Only get in the way if it’s directed at you. Over time, the tantrums will get more noticeable and out of hand, forcing the boss to deal with it, preferably by handing him a pink slip.

Your goal is documentation, awareness, and avoidance. Make the worst of it go elsewhere so you can be as productive as possible, document what you can, and let the boss become aware of the situation and how bad it has become. And be patient. This isn’t an overnight fix.

How do you deal with the toxic people in your life?

Budgeting tips – sticking to your budget

Finance

If you are looking to get out of debt, or you are currently debt-free and want to stay that way, then it is important that you get a grip of your financial situation and live within your means.

A good way to do this is to create a budget as this gives you a clear indication of how much money is coming in, how much is going out and also highlights any areas where you may need to make cut backs should you be falling short each month.

Once you have sorted out the figures and made necessary amendments, for example paying bills by direct debit in order to make savings or cutting existing debts by carrying out a balance transfer to a lower rate credit card, it is time to start focussing on the lifestyle changes.

As you will find, it is one thing to create a budget and quite another to stick to it, but by adhering to the following steps and exercising a certain amount of will power, you should be able to ensure that you live within your means and resist the urge to reach for that credit card.

Keep focussed

Before you start to look at how you can stick to your budget you need to clarify why you need to stick to your budget!

A budget can initially seem like something that has been devised with the sole intention of stopping you having fun and buying or doing the things that you want. So it is important to remember that, though some cutbacks may be necessary in the short term, a budget is a long-term strategy that will allow you to take control of your finances and, all being well, live a happy life that is free from the worry of excessive debt.

Change your habits

Unfortunately, a successful budget can require a change in lifestyle and this can be one of the most difficult things to adhere to.

For example, if you have previously enjoyed eating out regularly then you may have to make cut backs in this area to ensure that you are living within your means. But, instead of seeing this as a negative, try to focus on the positives and remember the reasons why you are budgeting.

And a change in habits doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to cut back on your enjoyment of life and it may actually open your eyes to other pursuits you may not have previously considered.

For example, instead of eating out try preparing a meal at home and turn your dining room into a restaurant. This means that you can still have the fine dining experience but at a fraction of the price and without the worry of making a reservation!

Shop smarter

Lists figure heavily when creating a personal budget and list-making is a habit that you should get used to when trying to stick to your budget.

When budgeting it is vitally important to avoid impulse buying and a great way to do this is to always make a list of things you need before you go shopping.

This means that you will have a clear idea of what you need and you will be less inclined to make random purchases that may just turn out to be an unnecessary drain on your finances. It’s also worth mentioning at this point that you should always differentiate and prioritise the things you need over the things you simply want.

If you are unsure how to make the distinction then put off making the purchase for a couple of days and then reconsider if you actually need it. This cooling off period will often convince you that you can do without it and save you money.

In addition, savings can be made on your shopping by simply swapping big name brands for supermarket own varieties, using discount coupons and looking for any special offers.

Overall, it is important to be fully focussed and committed to your budget plan and to be aware that a change in finances may require a change in lifestyle. But a few short term changes may well add up to better finances in the long term.

Article written by Les Roberts, budget reporter at Moneysupermarket.com.

Debt Options

Finance

Debtor's Prison Historic Marker — Image by jimmywayne via Flickr

When you’re buried in debt, bankruptcy can seem like the only option. When you get make ends meet, no matter how hard you pull on them. When bill collectors interrupt every dinner. When you have to choose between food and rent. When there is always more month than money. Do you have another choice?

Yes, you do.

Before you rush to file bankruptcy, take the time to understand your options.

Debt Settlement

Debt settlement is when you quit paying your bills and start sending the money to settlement company. The settlement company does…nothing. Really. They take your money and drop it into investments or interest-bearing accounts. You don’t get the interest, they do. Eventually, when your creditors are howling, the settlement company offers to make a settlement on the account. If the creditor accepts pennies on the dollar to kill your debt, the settlement company pays them. If not, they get to howl louder and make you more miserable.

While this process is playing itself out over years, your credit is taking a beating. You are doing nothing to dig yourself out of the hole you’ve dug. Finally, when your creditors are so desperate that they accept the settlement offer, you get a huge additional hit to your credit. “SETTLED IN FULL” is not a good status to have on your credit report.

Debt settlement companies do nothing you can’t do for yourself, and doing it for yourself at least lets you keep the interest your money is earning.

Debt Consolidation

Consolidating your debt comes in two varieties, a debt consolidation loan and a debt management plan.

A debt management plan is when you send one large payment to a debt consolidation company, and they pay your creditors for you each month. The company will usually attempt to contact your creditors and negotiate your interest rate and payments to try to get you into a situation that precludes bankruptcy and will keep your creditors happy. In the simplest terms, this is a debt payment consolidation.

A debt consolidation loan is generally done by taking out a line of credit against your home or other collateral and using that money to pay off all of your bills. Then you make the payments to the bank, to pay off your line of credit. The problem is that, if you can’t make the individual payments, can you make the payment to the line of credit? If you can’t, you risk losing your house.

Repayment

This option is my personal favorite. It involves taking responsibility for your decisions, cutting out the unnecessary expenses in your life, and paying your bills. There are a few popular plans for accomplishing this, including Dave Ramsey‘s debt snowball. The most important thing to remember are 1) debt it bad so stop using it; and 2) pay off as much as you can afford to each month. It isn’t as sexy as making all of your debt disappear, but it’s still a good option.

Bankruptcy

Let’s see. You borrow money on the promise to pay it all back. After you borrow too much, you renege on your agreement. You admit your word means nothing and you get all of your debt cancelled, forcing your creditors to raise the interest rates for all of the responsible debtors out there, as a way to balance the risk of those who will never pay. In exchange you doom yourself to lousy credit for the next 10 years. In extreme circumstances, bankruptcy may be the only option, but, I’m not a fan.

As you can see, there are almost always better options than bankruptcy. Please, before you take that leap, look into the other choices.

This is a sponsored post written to provide some insight into the world of bankruptcy and debt consolidation.

How to Live Happily Without a Budget

Finance

Three years ago, we sat down and built our budget. We spent 9 months adding the non-monthly bills that we forgot about when we created the budget. Setbacks and shortfalls almost killed the budgeting plan completely. It took almost an entire year to get our budget right.

Unrelated Image

Now? I refer to the budget once per month. No more. I don’t check it at bill-paying time. I don’t think about it daily. It’s there as a reference when I need it, but it no longer drives our finances. How did we get to that point?

First, we firmly established our budget. We know exactly what we need to cover our expenses. None of the predictable bills catch us by surprise any more. This is important.

Once we had the budget established, the rest was easy. I moved almost every bill to US Bank’s online bill-pay system and switched to electronic billing and automatic payments. The automatic payments are all through US Bank. I only allow my mortgage to be set up with the merchant. I want total, instant control over the rest. I won’t call a merchant to ask them to change a payment if something comes up. The bank sends me an email when a payment is automatically scheduled, and again when it is paid.

Once I got comfortable with the automatic payments, I switched to electronic billing. I don’t need to see the bill or waste the paper if I know it is being handled for me which is why I encourage you to manage all your finances online. I do check the few bills that may change, like the credit card and cell phone. Now, I see few of my bills. They are all sent electronically to my bank, automatically paid, and scheduled in Quicken–all without intervention from me.

[ad name=”inlineleft”]We also use an envelope system. I know how much we need for groceries, baby crap, clothes, etc. At the beginning of the month, I take out all of that money in cash and put it into the appropriate envelopes. Other than this money, almost everything else takes care of itself. I don’t need to pay attention to by bills on a day-t0-day basis. Any extra money that comes in gets divided among our debt repayment and savings goals, which only takes a few minutes to arrange.

I glance over my budget at the beginning of every month, but I only review it when something changes. If we change our cell phone, or our budgeted gas bill changes, I make the change to our budget. Other than that, it’s not even an afterthought.

That’s how we do it.

Another option includes the Sloppy Math System. This consists simply of rounding deposits down and rounding expenses up. The more you round, the better the system works. If you round every deposit down $50, and round every expense up to the next $10, you are naturally building more room for error. Given enough time, you will have enough of a slush fund to handle emergencies and the occasional impulse purchase.

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Debt Settlement

Debt Consolidation

Repayment

Bankruptcy