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Family Bed: How to Make It Stop

A young girl kisses a <a href=baby on the cheek.” width=”300″ height=”199″ />
Image via Wikipedia

For years, my kids shared my bed.

When my oldest was a baby, I was working a graveyard shift, so my wife was alone with the baby at night.    It was easy to keep a couple of bottles in a cooler by the bed and not have to get out of bed to take care of him when he woke up once an hour to drink a full bottle.

Then he got older.  And bigger.  And bigger.

We tried to move him to his own bed a few times, but it never worked well.    He’d scream if we put him in a crib, so we got him a bed at 9 months old.  That just meant he was free to join us whenever he woke up.  Brat.

We finally got him to voluntarily move to his own bed after his sister was born.    Shortly after she was born, I woke up to see him using her as a pillow.   To paint the proper picture, this kid is 5’9″ and wears size 12 shoes.  At 11.  When I woke him up to tell him what he was doing, he decided to sleep in his own bed.

Method #1 to get your kids in their own bed:  Have kid 1 try to crush kid 2 and feel bad about it.

Method #1 isn’t a great solution.

Soon, baby #3 showed up and we had 2 monsters in bed with us again.    Once they started getting bigger, it became difficult for the 4 of us to sleep.   We tried to get them into their own beds.   Unfortunately, even as toddlers, my kids had a stubborn streak almost as big as my own.   Nothing worked.

Eventually, they got big enough that I was crowded right out of the bed.  At least we had a comfortable couch.

Sleeping on a couch gets old.

When the girls got old enough to reason with, we had a choice:  We either had to find a way to convince them they wanted to sleep in their own room, or we had to have a fourth brat for them to attempt to crush at night.

We went with bribery.  Outright, blatant bribery.

We put a chart on the wall with each of their names and 7 boxes.  Every night they slept in their own beds, they got to check a box.   When all of the boxes were checked, they got $5 and a trip to the toy store.

It took 10 days to empty our bed and it’s been peaceful sleeping since.  That’s $5 well-spent.

Have you done a family bed?  How did it work?  How long did it last?

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Nigerian Phishing Scams

phish·ing/ˈfiSHiNG/

Noun: The fraudulent practice of sending e-mails purporting to be from legitimate companies in order to induce individuals to reveal personal information, such as credit-card numbers, online.

Have you ever gotten an email from someone claiming to be a Nigerian prince trying to smuggle money out of the country, or the administrator of the South Sudanese lottery commission?

The emails tend to be similar.   You’ve won the lottery, but need to pay the transfer fee and applicable taxes before the money can be sent, and by the way, they need your checking account information to transfer the money  out of your account.   Or, the elderly wife of the Reverend Saint Whateverhisnameis has the entireGDPof some small African country in her bank account that her dear, departed husband stole honestly, and she needs a trustworthy soul in the States to accept the transfer and your reputation proceeds you.

Yeah, people still fall for it.   It’s called Financial Darwinism.  Only the strong shall retire.

Yesterday(as of this writing, not as of your reading), I got my first-ever phishing phone call.

The conversation went something like this:

Worthless scum scammer: Hello, you’re schedule to receive a delivery at10:30 this morning and I need to verify your information.

Me: What delivery?

WSS: Is this Linda, L-I-N-D-A?

Me: Yes.  (Please note, I am very much a guy and clearly sound like it.)

WSS: You buy international.   I’m scheduling delivery.   Are you at (lists house number correctly, but no street or city).

Me:  What’s getting delivered?

WSS: A brand new Mercedes.

At this point, I wanted to play, but I had to get to work, so I hung up.

Worried that I may have made the wrong decision, I called my wife to see if she made a side trip to buy a luxury car while she was running errands last week, but she said she didn’t.   I’m not sure I believe her.  I think that it may have just slipped her mind.

It’s worrisome that some scammer call-center in Nigeria is buying lists of potential marks in theUS and calling them.  I much prefer my scammers to send emails.

Have you ever gotten a 419 phone call?

Sunday Roundup

Eye of horse.
Image via Wikipedia

My girls have been riding in horse shows lately.  Sometimes, it seems like that’s all we’ve been doing on the weekends, but they love it.  My wife’s favorite hobby now matches my daughters’ favorite pastime.   As a bonus, we’ll never have to paint their room again, with the way they are accumulating ribbons.

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It is possible to be entirely too connected.

My life is now complete.  It’s possible to buy 95 pounds of cereal marshmallows for just $399.   Breakfast at my house just got perfect.

I wholeheartedly agree with Tam, “You don’t need to make any excuses for crashing things into each other at the speed of light in an underground tunnel longer than Manhattan that’s had the air pumped out and been chilled to a couple degrees above absolute zero. That doesn’t need a reason. “

Carnivals I’ve Rocked 

Credit Cards: My Failed Experiment was included in the Best of Money Carnival, the  Carnival of Wealth, and the Totally Money Blog Carnival.

My niche site article on how to Make Extra Money with Keyword Research was included in the Totally Money Blog Carnival.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

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Crying is for Winners

Have you ever seen a kid come off a wrestling mat, crying his eyes out because he lost?

Wrestling Sideways - Really
Wrestling Sideways - Really (Photo credit: Creativity+ Timothy K Hamilton)

Often, that kid will get told to be tough and stop crying.

That’s wrong.

I’m not opposed to teaching kids not to cry under most circumstances, but just after an intense competition, I love it.   It’s the best possible sign that the kids was pouring his soul into winning.   It means he was trying with everything he had.

It means he is–or will be–a winner.

When a kid, particularly a boy in a tough sport, is crying, you know he’s going to try harder and do better next time.

For all of the “tough guy” ability it takes to succeed as a wrestler, I’ve never seen another wrestler teasing the crier.   They’ve all been there.    Wrestling is a team sport, but you win or lose a match on your own.   When you step out in front of hundreds of people and spend 3 to 6 minutes giving every ounce of everything you have to give, only to find it’s not good enough, you’ll often find you don’t have the final reserve necessary to control your emotions.

This is different than a kid crying because he lost a game, just because he lost.   Some kids feel entitled to win anything they do, regardless of the effort they put it.  That’s also wrong.

Crying at a loss is okay after putting in maximum effort and full energy, not because the dice went the wrong way.

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The Game of Thrones Guide to Personal Finance

The Game of Thrones series was something I tried to avoid for a while as an HBO-hyped soft-core way to steal an hour of an audience’s life every week.

Pedicab in the form of the Iron Throne from th...
Pedicab in the form of the Iron Throne from the HBO fantasy TV series "Game of Thrones", San Diego Comic-Con 2011 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Then I read the first book.   Within minutes of finishing it, I downloaded the second, followed by the rest.

I haven’t seen the show, but I have read all of the books.   If you are into court intrigue and gratuitous sex and violence, you’ll enjoy the series.

If you aren’t into those things, you can still pick up some good financial lessons from the series.

 Everything you care about will die.

You may not have to worry about your son shooting you in the stomach with a crossbow, or your foster-son burning your castle down while you’re away, but bad things happen.    Your company will close or your car will break down or your refrigerator will die.   Allow me to repeat myself:  Bad things happen.   Prepare for them now.

What will you do if one of your appliances break, or your kid needs braces?   After the emergency is the wrong time to start thinking about it.

 Money solves a lot of problems.

If you’ve got some money set aside, whether it’s a repair fund, and emergency fund, or just a mayonnaise jar full of cash buried in the backyard, it’s going to help you survive life’s little upsets.   You don’t need enough to buy an opposing army’s loyalty, just enough to get you through whatever financial emergency is currently rocking your world.

 You can’t buy loyalty.

Even if you sell your sister to the barbarians in exchange for their fighting prowess, you can’t rely on that.   Don’t think that buying a car for your kid is a good replacement for spending time with her, or that a fancy vacation can take the place of regular, meaningful conversations with your wife.   Money solves a lot of things, but it can’t take the place of actually being there for your loved ones.   Your presence means more than your presents.

It all boils down to this:

 Bad things happen, but you can protect yourself with a combination of money and meaningful relationships.

 

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