Am I the only one who just noticed that it’s Wednesday? The holiday week with the free day is completely screwing me up.
Just to make this a relevant post:
Spend less!
Save more!
Invest!
Wee!
Yakezie Beta Chapter Search
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In an effort to promote the crap out of the Yakezie Beta Chapter, I’ve created a search specific to us. This will make it easy to find Beta Challengers to promote.
The current list in the search is:
Live Real, Now
http://www.YourSmartMoneyMoves.com
http://meinmillions.blogspot.com/
http://www.rentingoutrooms.com
http://www.yesiamcheap.com
http://SimpleVesting.com
http://untildebtdouspart.blogspot.com/
http://www.blondeandbalanced.com
http://jamesfowlkes.com/
http://www.mightybargainhunter.com
http://www.beatingtheindex.com
http://www.thepassiveincomeearner.com
http://www.prairieecothrifter.com
http://sustainablepersonalfinance.com/
http://www.toddswanderings.com
More will be added as I have time to dig through the forums. If you’re a Beta Challenger and don’t see your name, leave a comment below and I’ll get you added ASAP.
Allowance
This article on the Simple Dollar discusses raising kids to be financially responsible.
My wife and I have a goal to raise our kids to be more financially responsible than we have ever been. We are currently digging out of a financial hole we dug ourselves, which is a situation we hope our children never see.
The Lord Will Provide
Debtors like to make excuses.
When I used to work collections, I’d try to work out a payment plan to get people out of debt, and I often heard “The Lord will provide” as their only excuse for not paying the money they owed.
That’s crap. It’s not a financial plan. It’s not a life plan.
It’s a crappy excuse to make you feel better about why your life sucks, has always sucked, and will–most likely–continue to suck.
Over the weekend, I got to spend quite a bit of time with family, including some that we don’t get to see often. One couple in particular really stands out. Neither of them are employed. She’s got some medical problems and has several major surgeries recently. I’d give her a pass for that, but she was unemployed for many years prior to that. He used to have a job, but lost it a couple of years ago, and is now milking welfare with his wife and daughter. They recently lost their house and had to move in with his mother.
Neither one is looking for work. Between the two of them, they smoke 4-5 packs of cigarettes a day. They want to buy a house soon, or rent an apartment, or something. They aren’t very clear in their planning because, “It’s in God’s hands.”
No plan, no ambition, no goals. I don’t understand how anybody can go through life with no intention of improving it. How can you try to hide behind platitudes instead of making things better?
Here’s the bumper sticker that can actually improve your life: “Good things come to those who bust their asses and make good decisions.”
It’s not the easy path, but in the long run, it’s a better path and one of the few paths that doesn’t lead to royal life-suckitude.
A Well-Trained Husband
- Image by Getty Images via @daylife
I am so well-trained.
I was more than a bit wild when I was younger. For the most part, that ended when my son was born. When you procreate, it’s time to put the wild on a shelf and become a reliable provider. That’s just the way it is. Anybody who prioritizes the wild over the progeny needs to be forcibly sterilized and exiled before be sold for parts.
When my mother-in-law got a membership to Sam’s Club, she gave my wife the second card, so we effectively have a membership. For those who don’t know, Sam’s Club is a warehouse store that has some incredibly good deals and a lot of things that look like good deals because you are buying in bulk.
The thing I hate most about warehouse stores is the default accusation of theft when you leave. They require you to line up so the the person by the door can look at your receipt and pretend to count what’s in your cart while they are really scanning for the most-stolen items in the store and ignoring the rest. The only thing they really accomplish is making all of their customer feel like thieves.
I used to bypass the line and the checker and just leave. My wife got sick of the indignant screeches coming from the store as we left. Eventually she got me to stop.
Last night, I went back to pick up supplies for a fund-raiser I’m helping to organize on Sunday. I went with one of the other organizers, who had some personal shopping to do later. We checked out using his account and he paid, while I took the food home to keep until Sunday. Since he’ll be getting reimbursed for the food, he kept the receipt while I headed for the door. Anybody see the problem here?
When the receipt-checker challenged me, I docilely stepped to the side and called my friend to bring the receipt to the door. I hate the feeling of submitting to authority, especially when the authority is pretending to be customer service. I just calmly did what the door-cop told me, just like my wife wanted, even though she wasn’t there.
I hate warehouse stores.
Friends and Acquaintances
“Friends help you move. Good friends help you move bodies.”
-unknown
Some people have dozens of friends. I’m not that guy.
I have 6.
Everybody in the world can be divided into 4 categories.
- Strangers. A xenophobe’s nightmare. These are the people you don’t know, whether they are passing you on the sidewalk, or newborns on the opposite side of the world.
- Acquaintances. These are the people you’ve met, mostly in passing. They tend not to have much effect on your life. You may pass a friendly bus ride in conversation, but it’s nothing that sticks. A waitress, the clerk at the store, a friend’s latest date; these are the people you interact with for just a moment and rarely think about further.
- Friendlies. Most people call these folks friends. I don’t. I’m friendly with them, hence the name, but it’s not true friendship. Often, they are either my wife’s friends, or my friends’ wives. Sometimes, they are a friend of a friend that I only see at parties, or a coworker that I get along with, but never see outside of work. We’re friendly, but not obliged. I may help with some things, but it’s not necessarily a priority. I’ll go to a funeral, but probably won’t help plan it.
- Friends. To me, calling someone a friend is a big deal. I’m willing to do a lot for my friends. They are able to command large amounts of my time, and ask any number of favors. If needed, I’ll open my home or help demolish their’s. Loyalty, honesty, trust, respect, and companionship are all a part of my definition of a friend. If a friend needs help, I’ll come running. In return, I expect the same.
Family tends to fall into the same analogous categories.
It sounds cold, but I hesitate to let people graduate into the final category. My wife used to try to “set me up” with people that she thought I’d like to be friends with, thinking I was sad to have so few friends. It took years for her to realize that I was happy. It’s a matter of quality over quantity. Most of the friends I have, I’ve had for 10 years or more. I’ve known each of them for at least 5 years, not that time is a requirement.
Moving people into the “friends” category is a lot like dating. You get along, so you invite the potential friends out for a drink, one on one. You feel them out to see if they are compatible. You meet their families, share some food, build some history. If it all works out, eventually, you consider them a true friend, even if you couldn’t mark the date of the transition.
You wouldn’t marry everyone you date, so why would turn everyone you basically get along with into a friend?
Do you have a lot of friends? What marks friendship for you?
