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Nigella Lawson and the High Cost of divorce

Nigella Lawson Eats A Banana (Photo credit: Kaptain Kobold)

Heartache and heartbreak are hard enough to endure but imagine having to go through the loss of a relationship while the world looks on. Such is the high price of celebrity divorce and the latest victim is the beautiful and talented television chef, Nigella Lawson. Shocking photos of Nigella apparently being choked by her husband, Charles Saatchi, surfaced in the media following the June 9th dinner at Scott’s restaurant in Mayfair, London, where the incident occurred. Saatchi’s advisors urged him to humble himself and admit a public apology for the assault. Saatchi denied any wrongdoing, saying he never assaulted her and in fact, was actually removing mucous from his wife’s nose. Nigella was stunned by the admonition of “nose-picking” and his refusal to apologize. She left Saatchi and their family home in Chelsea.

The two sides continued to disagree about the pictures; Saatchi claiming it was just a “playful tiff” and Lawson hurt and humiliated by the public’s assumption of her as victim of domestic violence and her husband as her tormentor. Insult was added to injury on July 7th, when Saatchi announced his intent to divorce his wife in the media instead of directly to her. Lawson, who had been waiting for a public apology, was blind-sided by his cruel divorce announcement. Lawson and Saatchi have been married for 10 years; Saatchi has claimed that the couple had become “estranged” the last few years. Saatchi claims that he had no choice but to act publicly since his wife “failed to defend” him with a statement to the media. In fact, Lawson has remained silent at the advice of her publicist so as not to further affect their children. Lawson (53) and Saatchi (70) have three teenage children from previous marriages that they were raising together.In addition to the “he said, she said” controversy, Lawson and Saatchi will have to fight over $150 million in shared assets, including their $12 million Chelsea, West London home. Both brought substantial assets into the marriage. Charles Saatchi is worth $100 million from the high-profile, highly-successful New York advertising firm, Saatchi and Saatchi. Nigella Lawson is a celebrity chef, bestselling author and television star with a net worth of $15 million. By the time lawyers for both sides duke it out in court and attempt to untangle the shared assets, those net worths will be considerably less.But it’s not just a monetary cost to this celebrity divorce. Saatchi had grown increasingly resentful of his wife’s high-profile career that he helped established. It’s a common theme in celebrity couples; one partner becomes the higher earner or the more recognized celebrity and the other gets bit by that green-eyed monster, jealousy. In Nigella’s case, there is the public humiliation at the hands of someone she loves to endure. It seems that Saatchi is determined to do whatever he can to make her suffer in the media. And then there are the children; children always suffer in a divorce. It can be lessened when parents work together to keep it private and amicable. But it’s incredibly painful to have your lives dragged through the media. In this case, it is Nigella and Saatchi’s children that are paying the ultimate price.

Be Prepared or Be Me

Finance, Life

We had some nasty storms roll through over the weekend. There was a lot of tornado-ish activity, 70 mile-an-hour gusts of wind, hail, and an electrical blackout. For almost 24 hours, we were living in the stone age, with nothing but smartphones for internet, and high-lumen flashlights being used to see. With no cartoons for the girls, we were forced to read them bed-time stories, while my son and his friends were forced to use their imaginations to entertain themselves.

Every time we called, the electric company added 12 hours to their estimated repair time. Amazingly, they came in 7 hours ahead of schedule, if you don’t count the first two revisions.

By Saturday afternoon, we were out shopping for things we should have already had ready.

For years, we had discussed buying a generator. For some reason, it never became a priority. We have a large freezer and refrigerator full of food. With no electricity, a generator was suddenly prioritized. All of the places near us were sold out of budget-priced generators when we decided it was better to drop $400 on that than to lose $600 worth of food. We did find one, eventually, but it would have been better to take it out of the garage than have to shop for it when we needed it. Naturally, 10 minutes after we got it home, the power came on. Do yourself a favor: if you own a home and have a small corner available for storage, start shopping for a generator. Pick one up on sale instead of waiting until you have no real choice.

We have a ton of batteries. It’s one of the things we stock up on when they are on sale. Unfortunately, our broadest-beam flashlight takes a 6-volt battery, and we don’t keep a spare. By the end of the night, it was getting pretty yellow and dim. Another night would have killed it completely. This wasn’t a widespread blackout, so there was no shortage of batteries, but it would have been nice to have the spare already at home. Check your emergency supplies and make sure you have replacement batteries that fit everything you need.

The one thing that would have improved the night most is a good lantern. We had our 5, plus two of my son’s friends all trying to play board games by flashlight. A lantern could have been set on the entertainment center and lit most of the room.

For everything we were without due to the blackout, the one thing I truly missed was the air conditioner. When the storm died, so did the wind. Completely. Opening all of the windows didn’t help at all. Other than that, it was nice to have everyone forced to interact. Nobody was whining about being bored and we were all having fun.

I want to schedule a pseudo-blackout more often.

Protection for your Loved Ones

Life

This is a guest post.

Life cover insurance acts as a safety net to pay for a family’s expenses should a wage earner become critically ill or die prematurely. Life cover includes life insurance as well as disability, critical illness, mortgage and income protection insurance policies.

Importance of life cover insurance

In most families, at least one adult is a wage earner and uses their income to pay for necessities such as food, clothing and rent or mortgage. If the wage earner becomes disabled, too ill to work, or dies, life cover insurance can pay for these expenses.

Stay-at-home parents provide valuable, though unpaid, services to the family. Without that person, the family would have to pay for childcare, household upkeep, errand running, and every other chore the stay-at-home parent did. If the stay-at-home parent has life insurance, these expenses can be covered.

Life cover insurance can pay off mortgages and education loans.

Live cover insurance policies will pay funeral costs, which can be substantial.

Family owned businesses can be insured and protected if the owner dies.

Objections

Life cover insurance is too expensive.

Insurance companies have plans to suit every budget and life circumstance. While young and healthy adults will generally receive the most affordable policies, older adults have plenty of reasonably priced options as well.

Disability or severe illness is unlikely.

Actually, 32% of men and 25% of women, ages 40 to 70, will experience a critical illness or disability. http://www.healthinsuranceguide.co.uk/statistics_mainbody.asp

Discussing disability or death is awkward and uncomfortable.

Agreed, but avoiding the topic puts loved ones into economic jeopardy. Without the wage earner’s life cover, a family could lose their home and have to lower their standard of living.

Variety of life cover insurances

Life Insurance

Term insurance is a protection policy, paid for during a specific time period (term), and is active during that time only. Permanent, whole, variable, universal and universal variable life insurance policies all are investment policies. They combine a death benefit (the amount paid out when the insured person dies) with an investment account. Licensed and experienced life insurance agents can help individuals make the best choice for their life situation.

Critical Illness/Disability Insurance

This type of insurance pays for living expenses if a person is diagnosed with a serious illness or disabled and can no longer work.

Mortgage Insurance

This is paid when the mortgage owner dies. This could help prevent the surviving family from having to sell the home.

The time to buy life cover insurance is now!

A 2010 survey (http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/ownership-of-individual-life-insurance-falls-to-50-year-low-limra-reports-101789323.html) stated that individual life insurance ownership was at a 50 year low in the United States. An estimated 35 million (30% of households) Americans do not have life insurance, and 11 million of these households have children under 18. Already living paycheck to paycheck, any debilitating injury or death of a wage earning adult could spell financial disaster to the family. Buying life cover insurance is a vital part of caring for loved ones. Just as a wage earner provides a home, food and daily necessities for their family, life cover insurance can take over and provide for the family if the wage earner unable to do so.

Olivia Wilde is Having a Baby: What are the first-month expenses?

Celebrities, Gossip

English: Olivia Wilde at a San Diego Comic-Con... — English: Olivia Wilde at a San Diego Comic-Con panel for Tron Legacy in July 2010. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Olivia Wilde recently announced her pregnancy with fiance Jason Sudeikis as she’s due with her first child in the coming year. Although the couple have declined to reveal their due date, they likely are expecting to set aside a budget for their baby, even with their high incomes. With forty percent of moms saying that having a baby is more expensive than they initially assumed, it’s important to look at the overall costs in the first month for plenty of preparation and financial planning.

Food

The first-month’s expenses can slightly range, depending on if the mother is using formula to feed the baby or is breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is free and will not cost a dime, besides the breastfeeding supplies that cost an average of $15 in the first month due to nursing pads and milk storage bags for freezing.

Name-brand formula can be expensive, an average cost of $25 a week as the baby will be feeding on it several times a day, totaling about $100 in the first month. Generic brands of formula cost half the amount, an average of $12 a week.

Medical

Health insurance is one of the most expensive costs for newborn babies with 39 percent of mothers paying $1,000 with their childbirth. Some even pay at least $5,000. Health insurance will also likely increase to $200 a month for the child with co-pays that range from $30 to $100 per visit. Some health insurance will refuse to cover certain costs, which include vaccines and immunizations.

Daycare

Paid maternity leave is considered a luxury in the U.S. and is often unavailable for mothers who are self-employeed or do freelance work, making daycare a necessity. Daycare for newborns averages to $100 a month, but can be at least $1,000 for celebrities that use an in-home nanny.

General Care

Wipes will cost an average of $13 in the first month with a $5 increase in the water bill for the baby’s laundry and baths.

Diapers are one of the scariest expenses that are priced at $80 for basic Pamper diapers for newborns. Using cloth diapers are a one-time expense, so if provided by a friend or relative at a baby shower, they are free to use consistently and do not require much water or detergent to wash every other day.

Bath soap, detergent, and baby-safe shampoo will cost $30 a month to maintain the hygiene of your baby.

Although Olivia Wilde’s baby will be unique in its feeding habits and the materials for diapers used, the average cost in the first month will likely total $200 and can go as high as $4,000 for a celebrity. Many of the costs simply depend on the baby and are determined by the type of diapers used, the amount of doctor visits, daycare that may be needed, and whether the baby prefers breastfeeding or feeding on formula.

30 Day Project Update

Life

My first 30 Day Project for the month of February has been to work my way up to doing 100 pushups in a single set. At the end of January, I did a test to find my baseline, my starting point. I could do 20 pushups, but there was no way 21 would happen.

My plan, based purely on the math, was to start from there, doing 5 sets in the morning and 5 more at night, adding a set number to each set every day. That lasted a day.

The problem with starting a new exercise routine at my max level and progressing from there is the pain. Holy wow, that hurt on the second day. I was doing sets of 5, then. Ow.

The new plan has worked much better. It is an aggressive, self-correcting progression that automatically correct for over-extending myself.

I do 5 sets. Each set is based on the maximum set in my previous session. My first set is half of my max. The next 3 sets are 3/4 of my max, and the final set ends when my abs are cramping and I want to cry, establishing my max for the next session. If I over-extended myself in the previous session, this set either shrinks or stays the same. If the final set stagnates for a couple of days, I take a day off to rest. When I come back, the sets improve drastically.

How well has this worked? Last night, at the halfway point for the month, I ended with a set of 75 pushups and noticable muscle growth. Next month, I’m doing situps and I will be using the same plan.

Plan #2 is also coming along well. Details in 2 weeks.

Bonding Relationships

Life, Relationships, Reviews

: Cover via Amazon

People can’t be happy in a vacuum. We are social creatures. Even the most anti-social among us needs some human contact. How can you make that contact happen in a meaningful way? How can you connect with other people beyond some superficial meaningless chatter?

According to Keith Ferrazzi in his book, Who’s got your back, there are four mindsets necessary to build lifelong relationships.

1. Generosity. This is your promise to help others succeed. If have a skill that can help someone you know, why not give them a hand? when you help others, you are building social capital, which is a currency that cannot be bought. Since our lives are not ledger books, you can’t do favors with repayment in mind, but it is reasonable to assume that the people ou help will want to help you some day.

An often overlooked generosity strategy is to give away 90% of everything. I’m not suggesting you give away 90% of your wealth or possessions. I’m suggesting you give away 90% of your personal product. Plan to give away 9 times more than your receive. This will not only keep your from being disappointed, but it will also leave you feeling very fulfilled.

2. Vulnerability. It is important to let down your guard and let the world see your humanity. It’s almost impossible to truly connect with someone who’s shields are always up: the guy who seems to be invulnerable and unapproachable. The people you spend time with know your flaw anyway. If you pretend they don’t exist, you are only fooling yourself. I have a lot of problem with this one. Letting down my guard is incredibly difficult, in almost every circumstance. It is far easier to be strong than to let myself be vulnerable.

3. Candor. Total honesty is vital to establishing–and maintaining– lifelong relationships. Even the white lies can destroy your connections. If you can lie about the little things, you are planting doubts on everything else you do and say. Who can trust you then? Lying is inappropriate in almost all conceivable cases. I was raised that a man’s word is his bond. Almost everything you have can be taken away from you, but not your honor. That can only be destroyed by you. Without it, what do you really have?

4. Accountability. You need to follow through on your promises. Be Mr. Reliable(or Mrs!). If you say you will do something, do it! Nothing builds resentment faster than disappointing the people who are counting on you. If you can’t meet a commitment, let the soon-to-be-let-down know as early as possible, so other plans can be made. If you have a hard time keeping promises, then make fewer of them.

If you embrace these principles, you will be well on your way to building–and keeping–strong, satisfying relationships that benefit everyone.

How do you build your relationships?

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