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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

3 Questions to Ask in a Spending Crisis

Finance

: Image by ExecGifts via Flickr

Having a well-funded emergency fund is one of the foundation blocks for almost every saving or debt-repayment plan. The theory is that you’ll be better able to weather a financial storm if you don’t have to raid your budget or beat on your credit card every time an unexpected expense rears its ugly head. The number varies based on your pundit and your stage of life, but generally ranges from $1000 to 8 months of your expenses. The money needs to go in a liquid account, so it can be accessed when necessary, but it needs to be completely ignored otherwise. What good is an emergency fund that has been spent?

Now that you have your emergency fund, you are set, right? But what happens when something comes up? When is it okay to spend that money? Emergencies can take so many forms: medical emergencies, car repairs, accidents, a good sale. Wait. What was the last one? What actually constitutes an emergency that is worth shredding your security blanket?

Here are three questions to ask yourself before you spend that money:

Is the expense necessary? If it’s a voluntary expense, you should create a savings goal and wait to buy it until you can actually afford it. Emergency funds are meant for emergencies, not whims. A good sale is never an emergency.
Is it important? When my motorcycle breaks down, it gets parked until I can afford to pay for the repairs. When my car breaks down, I need to get it fixed so I can get the kids to daycare and myself to work.
Is it urgent? Is this an expense that can be postponed until next month, when you have a chance to sell something you don’t need, or rearrange some items in your budget to “find” the necessary cash? If it doesn’t need to be paid right now, it may be best to put it off. In the case of medical bills, you can usually get on a payment plan with no penalties, if you ask. That can change an expensive obligation to a manageable monthly bill.

Your emergency fund should only be used on things that are important, necessary, and urgent. Anything else should get postponed until you can afford to pay it using your on-budget expense items. As the wise man once said: “Lack of planning does not constitute an emergency.” Of course, if you are in a financially stable situation and willing to take a small risk for a short time, eliminating an entire debt item to save the interest can be the right decision.

What would you be willing to spend your emergency fund on?

Perez Hilton: The Cost of Living in New York City

Gossip

Ahhh, New York City. The Mecca of all that is glamorous, rich, luxurious and exciting. To some, the good life. So, you’re ready to pack your bags and head for the big city? Slow down there, big dreamer. The cost of

EVERYTHING in the city is higher than the national average, meaning your 70K per year needs to be 166K in New York City to keep your current lifestyle. Let’s talk about the basics here: lodging, food and entertainment:

Apartments in New York City are insanely high. Like, find a roommate and hang a curtain down the center of your one bedroom to make two bedrooms high. The average Manhattan apartment costs $3,973.00 per month, almost $2,800.00 more than rentals elsewhere in the country. Looking to buy? The average sale price of a home in Manhattan is $1.46 million, compared to under $230,000.00 elsewhere. I suppose the good news is that in New York City, you don’t have to own your home for an elite status, as is required in other areas. Considering a family of four making less than $68,700 per year qualifies for public housing in New York City – you better be making bank if you plan to check your mailbox next to any celebrities.

If rent has not broken you, you must also eat! I mean, you won’t be eating MUCH after paying rent, but you will need a nibble here and there. It will come as no surprise that the restaurants in New York City are pricey. Celebrity favorites such as the Four Seasons, Le Cirque and Nobu are over $50.00 PER PERSON. I just choked on my Diet Coke. Eateries such as McDonald’s and local Mexican restaurants are abundant, but they too are higher priced than elsewhere. Your best bet? Learn to cook. Eat leftovers. Use coupons. Pair those coupons with sale items. Find a generous and rich companion. Skip meals.

As far as entertainment goes, I’m afraid at this point, your only entertainment will be browsing the web for supplementary forms of income. Seriously, unless you are in the 1%, utilize the many forms of free entertainment that New York City has to offer. A jog through Central Park, window shopping or a walk through the city all offer ample opportunity for fun free of charge. Sadly, Broadway plays and designer shopping must be left to the rich and famous.

In conclusion, one can lead a good, but not extravagant, life in New York City on a normal income. Be prepared to work hard, save hard and live frugally. Unless you’re living on money that is coming from an investment or dividend, you shouldn’t expect anything more. Listen, New York City is exciting, good grief, it’s the “city that never sleeps,” but it isn’t cheap. Of course, the people I know who have lived there for a short stint of time had little money and have since moved on – with no regrets and countless memories from that season of life.

5 Steps to Save

Finance

: Image by BitHead via Flickr

“Saving is too hard.”

“I don’t know where to start.”

“How much should I save?”

“Who the heck are you to tell me what to do with my money?”

“Shut up, Jason.”

These are the things I hear when I start talking about getting a good strategy in place to save some money. Financial matters are intimidating to a lot of people. They’d rather not think about their money any more than they absolutely need to, if that much. Here, I’m breaking it down to some simple steps to make saving easy.

1. Get motivated. Why do you want to save some money? Are you trying to make a secure future, or do you just want to buy a new toy? These are the kind of questions you have to ask yourself. Nobody else can tell you why you want to make changes to your lifestyle, and nobody else’s reasons matter in the least. Saving money is something you have to do for you.

2. Figure out how much you can save. Generally, you’re going to need a budget so you can figure out what you can afford to save, but not always. If you are making ends meet, then you get a raise, you can obviously afford to bank the difference. If you do that, you’ll never even notice the missing money. If you try to save so much your mortgage goes unpaid, you’re plan is doomed to failure.

3. Open an account at a new bank. The biggest problem I used to have when I was trying to save was that it was too easy to get the money. Every time I checked the balance of my checking account, I saw the balance in the savings account. Worse, it took seconds to transfer that money from my savings account to my attached checking account. Every time I wanted to see if I could afford whatever toy I was looking at, I’d see money that wasn’t earmarked for anything in particular. Naturally, that money got spent more often that it was ignored and allowed to grow. Now, I can completely forget about the money.

4. Automate. I’ve automated everything I can. All of my bills are paid automatically, except for one company that insists on quarterly paper invoices. I’ve got $665(neighbor of the beast!) automatically transferred to my INGDirect account, to get divided between my various savings goals, including a fund for my semi-annual property tax payments and a fund to pay for the braces we haven’t actually had to buy yet, but will in a couple of years. The money disappears into a bank I don’t use for my day-to-day expenses and grows completely out of sight. Every once in a while, I look at the account and get surprised by how much has accumulated.

5. Get rich. Once you’ve got the other four steps in place, all you’ve got to do is let it work. Over time, you will build wealth in a way that may surprise you. Your goal at this point is to do nothing new. Every once in a while, you can pull out some money and tuck it into an investment account to get some real growth going for you.

“Thank you.”

“You’re the best.”

“What would I do without you?”

“How can I show you my appreciation? <wink><wink>”

“What the heck are you doing with my wife?”

These are the things I always hope to hear after sharing my strategies to save money.

Optimized to Go, Part 1

Business, Finance

Last weekend, we held a garage sale at my mother-in-law’s house. It was technically an estate sale, but we treated it exactly as a garage sale.

A week before we started, a friend’s mother came to buy all of the blankets and most of the dishes, pots, and non-sharp utensils so she could donate them all to a shelter she works with. She took at least 3 dozen comforters and blankets away.

Even after that truckload, we started with two double rows of tables through the living room and dining room. The tops of the tables were as absolutely full as we could get them, and the floor under the tables was also used for displaying merchandise.

Have you ever had to display 75 brand-new pairs of shoes in a minimal about of space? They claimed about 16 feet of under-table space all by themselves. Thankfully, the blankets weren’t there anymore.

We also had half of the driveway full of furniture, toys, and tools.

We had a lot of stuff.

Now, most people hold a sale to make some money. Not us. We held a sale to let other people pay us for the privilege of hauling away our crap. As such, it was all priced to move. The most expensive thing we sold was about $20, but I can’t remember what that was. Most things went for somewhere between 25 cents and $1.

At those prices, we sold at least 2000 items. That isn’t a typo. We ended the day with $1325. After taking out the initial seed cash, lunches we bought for the people helping us, and dinner we bought one night, we had a profit of $975.

At 25 cents per item.

We optimized to sell instead of optimizing for profit. At the end of a long summer of cleaning out a hoarding house, it all needed to go.

In the next part, I’ll explain exactly how we made it work.

Decision Making Made Easy

Life

Have you ever had to make a difficult decision? Not necessarily a decision that’s difficult because it’s life-changing, but a decision that’s difficult because there are two phenomenally wonderful, yet mutually exclusive options?

For example:

Should you put caramel or strawberry sauce on your ice cream?
Should you go to Disney Land or Disney World?
Should you subscribe to Live Real, Now by email or RSS?
Should you take the job with the stellar benefits package or the higher salary?

These are all real decisions that you may be called on to make.

For most decisions, there are some alternatives that are easy to discard.

MadDog 20/20 isn’t a good alternative to caramel sauce on your ice cream. The local BDSM museum probably isn’t a great choice for a family vacation. Sending me hate mail is obviously worse than subscribing.

Then you’ve got some choices that are both okay, but one is clearly better. You’ve got free airfare and hotel. Do you go to Topeka, or Paris? Neither is horribly, but I think the choice is obvious. You’re going out to dinner. McDonald’s or…nevermind, this fits the first category.

After you’ve discarded the obvious bad choices and the okay-but-not-great choices, how can you decide between what’s left?

This is the point that starts to cause stress. What if you make the wrong choice? What if you regret it forever? What if you’re still not happy? Gridlock.

The reason your stuck is because it’s not apparent which is the better choice. All of your experiences and knowledge are telling you–on some level–that the options are identical in terms of your life, happiness, and goals. It truly does not matter which one you choose. You will probably be equally happy, either way.

Given that it doesn’t matter, you have two choices for making the final decision:

Pick the one you want. The rational decision is a tie, so make it an emotional one. Does one job match your dreams, but with a bit more risk? Has one vacation destination been a goal since you were little? Do it!
Flip a coin. If the decision doesn’t matter, leave it to fate. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you can always blame the quarter.

The one thing you don’t want to do is wait. Failing to decide is still a decision and one that is guaranteed to keep you from being satisfied with your choice. Don’t wait until you have all of the possible information, because that kind of perfect world doesn’t exist. Get to about 85% of fully informed and run with it. You’ll usually be happier making a decision–even the wrong one–than sitting back wondering “What if I had done that?”

How do you make hard decisions?

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