Live Real, Now

The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.

Search Results for: three-alternatives-to-a-budget/budget-lesson-part-3/slow-carb-diet-how-to-avoid-going-bat-crazy/budget-lesson-part-2/brown-bagging-your-way-to-savings/budget-lesson-part-5/travel-expenses-why-i-splurge/what-happens-when-you-save/INGDirect/first-3-things-to-do-in-the-new-year

Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.
Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?
Me: Yes?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: May I ask what that was for?
FMe: Of course.
Me: What was that for, jerk?
FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.
Me: What?!?  I’ve never even met you, before.
FMe: Of course you have.  I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.
Me: Huh?
FMe: Listen close.  You’re not  the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.
Me: ???
FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.
Me: I don’t appreciate….
FMe: Shut up.  I was dumb then, too.  Remember?  You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year.  On top of many other expensive decisions.  Do your recall?
Me: Yes, I do.  So what?
FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car.  Your kids wear new clothes.  You’ve got a house full of new furniture.  How did you pay for all of that?
Me: Naturally, I charged it.  Zero payments, zero interest for a year!  Pretty smart, huh?
FMe: What happens in a year?
Me: I don’t know.  I’ve got a full year to figure that out.
FMe: <Slap!>  I’ll tell you what happens!  Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed!   Your raise didn’t come through.  You had a baby. The truck broke down.  Your wife took maternity leave.  A roommate moved out.  You took a loss in the stock market.  You didn’t plan!  You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.
Me: How was I to know?
FMe: <Slap!>  Life happens!  You never know what is coming next.  You need to plan and save for what might happen.  Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly.  That is not acceptable.
Me:  So?  What are you going to do about it?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: Really?  Again?
FMe: <Slap!>  I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help.  Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux.  My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford.   You’ve screwed me, dude.
Me: I’m sorry.  What can I do to fix it?
FMe: Buy me dinner, first.
Me: Huh?!?!?
FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change.  No credit.
Me: None?
FMe: None.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  Only spend what you can afford. Budget.  Pay off those nasty bills.  Don’t leave me hanging.
Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?
FMe: Exactly.  That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence.  Live in the real world.
Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me!  Now I know.
FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

 

Building 5 Bad Habits

Finance

Meth powder hexagon
Meth powder hexagon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Good habits are boring. I mean, yes, they will help you succeed and provide some security, but so what? Bad habits are fun. Except meth. Meth is a bad habit that is decidedly not fun. Don’t do meth.  Seriously.

There are so many entertaining bad habits that I couldn’t possibly cover them all. I’m going to stick to the bad financial habits that will make your life more exciting.

  1. Break your budget. A budget constrains you, keeps you from buying the things you want and traveling to distant, exotic places when you know you can’t afford the trip.   The best way to build this habit is to not only avoid tracking your expenses, but also avoid tracking what you actually spend.  If you don’t know what you owe or what you’ve spent, the end of every month is an adventure!
  2. Impulse shopping. For the next week, I want you to go to your favorite store every day.  Buy the first thing you see that makes you want to hum.  Every day.  Don’t worry about being able to afford it.  That’s what credit is for, right?  Bonus points for buying it on the “no interest for a year, then we screw you” plan.   I’m sure you’ll be making more money by the time the bill is due.   You could get lucky and have a rich relative die and leave you a fortune.   That’s like winning the lottery twice, because you won’t have to buy him Christmas cards anymore.
  3. Meals on the go. Cooking is a drag.  Besides, who wants to slap a slice of meat and cheese on a couple slices of bread, when you can get a drive-through case of the Aztec two-step for $5.    Did you know that the big yellow ‘M’ stands for “Montezuma?”   On your way to practice impulse shopping, pick up some lunch.   For your money, you’ll get less convenience, more additives, and the opportunity to gamble on the lunch employees caring as much about cleanliness as you do.  It’s a win for everyone!
  4. Ego shopping. Actual accomplishments and improvement are hard.  It’s much better to wrap up your sense of self-worth in the smartest phone, the shiniest car, or the Gucciest purse.   Allowing Mastercard to finance your self-esteem guarantees that your next smile is just a shopping trip away.   Who needs the hassle of dealing with things that matter?   After your impulse purchase, buy something fancy!  Show your friends that you are not only a more discerning consumer, but also that you are better than they are. Watch them turn green with envy.  When they shrug and tell your that their phone has the one feature they need–the ability to ring when called–know that it is envy speaking.
  5. Expensive Vacations. You need to relax.   I know how hard it is lugging that iBlackPhoneP(a/o)doid in and out of the designer sportscar with all-leather cow interior and big, brown baby seal-eyes for headlights.   It’s work.    Back and forth buying crap you don’t need to fuel your ego, dodging vicious calls from creditors and having to Dine-N-Dash every time a friend invites you out for dinner makes a dude tired. Take a week in Europe to calm your thoughts.   You deserve it, even if you don’t actually have the money for it.   Isn’t Great-Uncle Horace sick?

What are your favorite bad habits?

Update:  This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Let’s Talk Pets and Other Unexpected Expenses

Finance

The following is a guest post by Crystal at Budgeting in the Fun Stuff. Her blog covers living expenses, saving for your future, and the fun stuff in between.  (Ed.  Thanks, Crystal!)

I’ve been complaining on and off about the cost of my poor Pug’s allergies, so I thought I’d do a little post to let all of us vent a little about unexpected expenses. 🙂

Here’s how much Mr. Pug has cost in vet bills and medicine alone since he developed major allergies to meat proteins and dairy in February 2010:

  • February 4, 2010 – Mr. Pug licked off some hair, so we visited the crappy vet I will never go to again – $185.29
  • May 11, 2010 – Mr. Pug stopped eating and his eyes looked cloudy, first visit to new vet for dry eye – $177.78
  • May 12, 2010 – Dermatology Exam, Skin Scraping, Ear Check, and 6 medicines – $254.00
  • May 18, 2010 – Check-Up on dry eye – $53.34
  • June 2, 2010 – Check-Up on Ear Infections, Skin Infection, and medicine refills – $134.00
  • July 8, 2010 – Check-Up on Skin Infection, 2 new medicines, and 2 refills – $146.80
  • July 8, 2010 – Antibiotics – $60.60

AND we’re scheduled for another $105 check-up this coming week for his hopefully healed ear infection. So, between February 4 and this coming week, we will have paid at least $1116.81 for vet visits and medicines alone. That doesn’t even take into account the $45 bags of vegan dog food that only lasts about 6 weeks or the $500 we spent last year on 5 tooth extractions. 🙁

Thankfully we didn’t get pets until we had excess cash flow, but DANG! He’s an expensive little boy! I love him and we’d pay it again, but I wouldn’t suggest pure breeds for anybody not willing to lay out major dough for something as “simple” as allergies. We would totally let our dogs go if they needed chemotherapy or something (yes, I have my lines), but allergies…well, how do you turn down treatment that can make a pet 99% better? I’m a sucker for his big Pug eyes…I mean, look at him:

Have you had any unexpected expenses pop up? If so, what have they been and how are you dealing with it?

Megan Fox’s Little One: The First Year Costs of Having a Baby

Celebrities, Gossip

Megan Fox @ Jennifer's Body screening
Megan Fox @ Jennifer’s Body screening (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you can’t get enough of Megan Fox like everybody else, you probably already know that paparazzi has spotted her with a new and conspicuous belly bump. The steamy star already gave birth to a beautiful baby boy named Noah in 2012, but she also expressed a desire to have more children in the future. We just didn’t think that it would happen this soon. Luckily, Megan is blessed with celebrity wealth, so funding another newborn shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Unfortunately, most new mothers aren’t celebs. If you are a new or expecting mother, prepare yourself for your bundle of joy by familiarizing yourself with first year expenses and ways to save money.

What are the first year costs of caring for a baby?

Babies are expensive. How expensive, you ask? Well, that depends on your standard of living. It’s a pretty good bet that Megan Fox will dish out more dough on her newborn than most people have the ability to. Baby Gucci just isn’t on the shopping list for mothers who live from paycheck to paycheck. However, the essentials are already expensive enough to make most moms have a panic attack. A 2010 USDA report suggests that a typical American family spends about $12,000 during the first year on a baby. These days, that number is probably closer to $15,000.

What will most of the money go towards?

There are two major items that are an absolute must for a baby: formula/baby food and diapers. Expect to shell out about $50 per week on these things alone. That’s nearly $2,500 per year. Another big portion of your baby expenses will comprise of pricier one-time purchases including a baby stroller, crib, car seat, etc. The rest of the funds will likely go to baby clothes, childcare, and medical expenses.

How can I save money?

There are countless ways to cut the costs of having a baby, but you need to get creative to maximize your savings. If you want to have a fatter wallet at the end of that first year, here are some of the easiest and most effective ways to do so.

Take free samples during the initial hospital stay

Many baby product manufacturers supply maternity wards with free samples, but nurses sometimes forget to hand them out. Remember to ask about these samples after giving birth, and bring home as much as they will allow. You can snag useful items like: diapers, diaper bags, baby lotion, swaddling cloths, disposable bottle nipples, alcohol swabs, a thermometer, a nasal aspirator and more.

Breastfeed

A mother’s milk is the healthiest food option for a growing baby because it contains nutrients not found in many baby formulas. Since formula can be very expensive, you will save a ton of money and give your child the best nutrition possible by breastfeeding.

Get oversized baby clothes or use hand-me-downs

Babies grow at an amazingly fast rate, so always buy clothes of a bigger size. If you have close friends or family members who’ve already had a child, ask if you can use their old baby clothes.

Buy diapers, formula, and other commonly used supplies in bulk

Like with most consumer goods, you will pay less if you buy more. Stock up on the essentials early on if you don’t want to waste your money in the long run.

 

Related articles
Enhanced by Zemanta

Cooking Poor

Finance

Frugal cooking can be an intimidating concept.   It’s easy to turn a meal into a huge expense, but it’s not that hard to trim your grocery budget without sacrificing variety and flavor.   It just takes some planning and a few money-saving techniques.  We usually feed our family of five, often with guests, for about $100 per week.

Schedule your meals. Find or make a weekly meal planner.  I recommend this or this.  Cross out the meals you don’t need to worry about due to your schedule that week.  If you won’t be home, you don’t have to cook that meal.  Fill in the meals in the remaining slots.  Keep your schedule in mind. If you get home from work at 5:30 and have to be somewhere by 6:30, dinner needs to be something quick. Also, make sure you include every side dish you will be serving.  Now, look at the recipe for each dish in every meal.  Write down everything you need to make all of the food you plan to eat that week.   While planning your meals, think about how to use your leftovers.   If you cook chicken breasts one day, the leftovers can be chicken nuggets the next.

Take inventory.  Take your meal plan and a pen while you look through all of your cabinets and your refrigerator.  Why buy what you already have? If you already have steaks in the freezer, don’t waste your money buying more.  If you have it, cross it off of your meal plan shopping list.  Whatever is left is your shopping list.   Review it.  Is there anything that can be combined or eliminated?  Is there a key ingredient for a sauce that’s missing?

Don’t forget the staples.  If flour or sugar is on sale, stock up.  Anything you use on a regular basis is a staple, buy it when it’s cheap.

Build a shopping list from your meal plan.  When you are in the store, stick to your list.   It’s hard, but avoid impulse purchases at all costs. Don’t shop hungry, don’t buy things just because they are on sale, and don’t dawdle.  Get what you need and get out.

Avoid pre-processed food.  We slice and shred our own cheese.    Buying the pre-shredded cheese costs an extra $5 and saves just 5 minutes.  Don’t buy pre-sliced apples or anything that will only save a few minutes for several dollars of cost.

Every couple of weeks, I cook a large pot of either beans or rice and keep it in the refrigerator.  Almost every meal that we cook gets a cup or two of beans or rice added to it.  It doesn’t alter the flavor much, but it adds a few extra servings for pennies.  It’s a healthy way to stretch any meal on the cheap.

We have a large bowl in the refrigerator filled with mixed greens.   We buy whatever salad-like greens are on sale and prepare the large salad all at once.   Most meals start with a salad, which makes it easier to fill up without relying on the protein dish, which is generally the most expensive part of a meal.  As a dedicated meat-eater, it took some getting used to, but it’s a good meal–cheap and healthy.

Cook enough for at least 3 meals.  That will eliminate 2/3 of the work involved in cooking.   Plan ahead to make your meals simple and easy.

Freeze the leftovers in usable sizes.   Stock up on semi-disposable meal-sized containers.   Freeze some in single-serving sizes for work, and others in family-size servings for last minute meals at home.  Preparing for last minute meals keeps you from serving garbage or takeout when life gets in the way of your plans.

Avoid wasting leftovers.   Wasted food is wasted money.

When you are done cooking meat, take any drippings or scraps and throw them into the slow-cooker along with any vegetable scraps laying around.  Cook it overnight, then strain it into an ice cube tray.  You now have stock/broth ready to be added to any recipe.

Plan for serial meals. Chicken breast leftover from today’s meal can become chicken nuggets tomorrow, to be shredded into chicken salad the next day.

When there isn’t enough left for a full serving, we put the remains in a resealable bag in the freezer.   When we accumulate enough to fill our slow-cooker, we dump in all of the bags with a couple cups of water.    I look through the refrigerator for any leftovers that have been overlooked that week or any vegetables  getting close to being too old.  It all gets cut up and added to the cooker to cook on low all day.  I rarely add seasoning because everything going in the pot tastes good.  We never get the same meal twice and our “free soup” is never bland.

That’s how we cook cheap, without sacrificing too much time.  How do you save money cooking?

This post is a blast from the past.  Originally posted here in January 2010.