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Nigella Lawson and the High Cost of divorce

Nigella Lawson Eats A Banana (Photo credit: Kaptain Kobold)

Heartache and heartbreak are hard enough to endure but imagine having to go through the loss of a relationship while the world looks on. Such is the high price of celebrity divorce and the latest victim is the beautiful and talented television chef, Nigella Lawson. Shocking photos of Nigella apparently being choked by her husband, Charles Saatchi, surfaced in the media following the June 9th dinner at Scott’s restaurant in Mayfair, London, where the incident occurred. Saatchi’s advisors urged him to humble himself and admit a public apology for the assault. Saatchi denied any wrongdoing, saying he never assaulted her and in fact, was actually removing mucous from his wife’s nose. Nigella was stunned by the admonition of “nose-picking” and his refusal to apologize. She left Saatchi and their family home in Chelsea.

The two sides continued to disagree about the pictures; Saatchi claiming it was just a “playful tiff” and Lawson hurt and humiliated by the public’s assumption of her as victim of domestic violence and her husband as her tormentor. Insult was added to injury on July 7th, when Saatchi announced his intent to divorce his wife in the media instead of directly to her. Lawson, who had been waiting for a public apology, was blind-sided by his cruel divorce announcement. Lawson and Saatchi have been married for 10 years; Saatchi has claimed that the couple had become “estranged” the last few years. Saatchi claims that he had no choice but to act publicly since his wife “failed to defend” him with a statement to the media. In fact, Lawson has remained silent at the advice of her publicist so as not to further affect their children. Lawson (53) and Saatchi (70) have three teenage children from previous marriages that they were raising together.In addition to the “he said, she said” controversy, Lawson and Saatchi will have to fight over $150 million in shared assets, including their $12 million Chelsea, West London home. Both brought substantial assets into the marriage. Charles Saatchi is worth $100 million from the high-profile, highly-successful New York advertising firm, Saatchi and Saatchi. Nigella Lawson is a celebrity chef, bestselling author and television star with a net worth of $15 million. By the time lawyers for both sides duke it out in court and attempt to untangle the shared assets, those net worths will be considerably less.But it’s not just a monetary cost to this celebrity divorce. Saatchi had grown increasingly resentful of his wife’s high-profile career that he helped established. It’s a common theme in celebrity couples; one partner becomes the higher earner or the more recognized celebrity and the other gets bit by that green-eyed monster, jealousy. In Nigella’s case, there is the public humiliation at the hands of someone she loves to endure. It seems that Saatchi is determined to do whatever he can to make her suffer in the media. And then there are the children; children always suffer in a divorce. It can be lessened when parents work together to keep it private and amicable. But it’s incredibly painful to have your lives dragged through the media. In this case, it is Nigella and Saatchi’s children that are paying the ultimate price.

Saturday Roundup and Updates

Misc

: Image via Wikipedia

I’ve decided to do away with the Twitter posts on Saturdays. If you want to see the glorious wisdom that is my Twitter feed, follow me on Twitter. I’m @LiveRealNow.

Please take a moment to subscribe to Live Real, Now by email. You get a choice between having all of the posts delivered to your inbox, or just occasional updates and deals. Both options get my Budget Lessons, free of charge.

Now, for the part you’ve all been waiting for…

The Best Posts of the Week!

Tim Ferris is giving away a trip to anywhere in the world. All you have to do is donate to his preferred charity for his birthday!

A Mirrored Memory reminds us that nobody feels old in their heart.

A law for everything and everything is a law? Why can’t people just accept occasional discomfort or unpleasantness in exchange for freedom?

My wife hates sweet potatoes. Well, she did until I introduced her to sweet-potato fries. I wonder if I can get her to try this recipe? It’s missing marshmallows, though. That’s a definite culinary failure when it comes to sweet-potatoes.

The University of Georgia is offering a free home-study food-preservation course.

Carnivals I’ve particpated in:

The Carnival of Personal Finance at NerdWallet has included Beat the Check.

The Festival of Frugality at Modern Tightwad has included The 10-Step Saving Action Plan.

The $10 College Fund

Finance, Parenting

I recently started a college fund for my kids. With my oldest getting ready to turn 10, this was a late start. However, when he was born, we were in no position to set aside anything extra.

At least, we didn’t realize we were at the time.

When our oldest son was born, I was 20 years old. I was working in a factory and hadn’t gone to college myself, yet. That’s a situation that makes it hard to justify a college fund. Financial planning and responsibility was to come at a later date.

So, how much do we have in this shiny new college fund? [Read more…] about The $10 College Fund

Hunting Trip Stress

Life, Relationships

Vegans and hippies won’t enjoy this post.

Friday, I went to a cabin in the woods for a weekend hunting trip with my dad, my brother, and a few other people.

My wife didn’t think it’s a good idea. In fact, she was terrified that I’d walk into the woods and come out in a body bag.

Statistically, it’s safe. Out of 12.5 million hunters, there are only around 100 fatal hunting accidents every year. I think I went hunting for the first time when I was 12, and continued to do so until I was 17, then life started interfering.

That doesn’t matter. By definition phobias aren’t rational. She’s worried and stressing hard.

If she’s had such a hard time with it, why did I go?

First, I asked her six months ago if she’d be all right with the trip. I knew she had some phobias, and have–in fact–tried to make the trip before. Six months ago, she said yes. It was a bit late to back out after I’ve committed to a share of the cabin, bought the bright orange gear, and agreed to drive my brother.

The second reason was more important.

This is one of the few things my dad and I both enjoy. I’m a geek, he’s not. I dig horror and sci-fi, he’s into westerns.

But we both enjoy hunting. The first time he treated me like an adult was the first year we went hunting together, 15 years ago.

My dad taught me to be the man I am. Without him, I have no idea who I’d be or what I’d be doing. My integrity, my work ethic, and my moral code can all be traced to the things he taught me.

This is my chance to spend time with him and have a good time with no TV or whiny kids interfering.

Trading this for a few days of stress at home is something I’m willing to do.

Welcome to Unemployment

Finance

Last week, I was let go from my job. The reasons are unimportant.

http://gty.im/167334756

So now, I am unemployed right before Christmas.

And my renters are moving out at the end of the month.

Normally, this should be a time for panic, but strangely, it’s not.

It actually came with a feeling of relief. Again, the reasons are unimportant.

But still, my predictable income has suddenly become unpredictable.

It is times like this that I’m glad I’ve spent the last 5 years crushing my debt. I currently have about $1000 on a credit card from my monthly expenses and around $10,000 on my mortgage.

That’s it. There’s no soul-destroying credit card debt. No car payment.

Trimming down to the not-painful-but-not-barebones basics puts my monthly nut at $3300. Leaving a bit of comfort and savings in place, that jumps to $4000.

Our income from my wife’s job and the renter in our home comes to about $1600 per month. That’s $1700 per month that we’re off from the basics and $2400 we’re off from a comfortable level.

However, I expect to have our rental house rented by the end of the year. There are some repairs we have to make after the current tenants leave. That will bring in a minimum of $1200 per month, hopefully $1500. That closes the gap to $500-1200.

Now, aside from the biggest benefit of killing out debt(no monthly payments!), we’ve also been saving about 20% of our income outside of our retirement accounts. We have enough to bridge that gap for 25-60 months. Unemployment will also provide enough to cover the difference for about 6 months. That means without doing any side work…sitting on my butt playing video games…I could cover my bill comfortably for two and a half years. If I cut down to bare minimum expenses, I can stretch that to nearly 7 years.

That’s why I don’t drive a new car or wear expensive clothes. That’s why I don’t vacation on my credit cards. That’s why my kids don’t have the latest, greatest video game systems and we don’t have a big screen TV.

It’s because we chose to prioritize our financial security over pure luxuries. We chose to sacrifice optional things now so we wouldn’t have to sacrifice things like food if life took a surprise turn down a bad road.

Now, before anybody reads this and understands it as “Jason’s taking a decade off”, in the week I’ve been unemployed, I’ve had 2 phone interviews, and a request for another. One of those has turned into a tentative job offer already. I expect to remain unemployed for less than a month.

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-02

Misc

RT @kristinbrianne: You won't believe it… I just entered to win the #KodakSweeps on http://tweetphoto.com/contest Pls RT #
RT @wilw The single most insulting thing you can tell a creative person is, upon viewing their creation, "you have too much free time." #
Hmm. I share a birthday with Linus Torvalds. #
@freefrombroke I'm following you and would love to be followed back. in reply to freefrombroke #
RT: @SuburbanDollar: New Post: : The Art of Delayed Gratification http://bit.ly/5gsKXy #
RT @FrugalYankee: #NEWYear's #QUOTE: All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening. ~ Alexander Woollcott #
Crackberry is certainly accurate. I may be too connected. #
MIL thinks a Kitchenaid stand mixer will make it easier to remove the snow in the driveway. Bad logic, but she's buying one for us, anyway. #
What magic is in a saw-palmetto capsule and why does my prostate need the power of 1000 of them? #
RT: @SuburbanDollar: Sounds like he's asking you to rent him a date. #
RT @hughdeburgh: "I'd rather die fighting for freedom than live as a slave." ~ Judge Andrew Napolitano #Iran #in2010 #USA #
Happy New Year, 3 minutes early. #
Billy Jack vs Chuck Norris. Winner? #
Getting my hair brushed by an 18 month old while watching Married With Children. It's a good evening. #
RT @FrugalYankee: #NEWYEARS #QUOTE: The most important political office is that of private citizen. ~ Louis Brandeis #
RT @ScottATaylor: 40,697 Laws Take Effect Today http://ff.im/-dFXNR #
5AM. It'd be so easy to go right back to sleep. #

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