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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

5 Steps to Save

Finance

: Image by BitHead via Flickr

“Saving is too hard.”

“I don’t know where to start.”

“How much should I save?”

“Who the heck are you to tell me what to do with my money?”

“Shut up, Jason.”

These are the things I hear when I start talking about getting a good strategy in place to save some money. Financial matters are intimidating to a lot of people. They’d rather not think about their money any more than they absolutely need to, if that much. Here, I’m breaking it down to some simple steps to make saving easy.

1. Get motivated. Why do you want to save some money? Are you trying to make a secure future, or do you just want to buy a new toy? These are the kind of questions you have to ask yourself. Nobody else can tell you why you want to make changes to your lifestyle, and nobody else’s reasons matter in the least. Saving money is something you have to do for you.

2. Figure out how much you can save. Generally, you’re going to need a budget so you can figure out what you can afford to save, but not always. If you are making ends meet, then you get a raise, you can obviously afford to bank the difference. If you do that, you’ll never even notice the missing money. If you try to save so much your mortgage goes unpaid, you’re plan is doomed to failure.

3. Open an account at a new bank. The biggest problem I used to have when I was trying to save was that it was too easy to get the money. Every time I checked the balance of my checking account, I saw the balance in the savings account. Worse, it took seconds to transfer that money from my savings account to my attached checking account. Every time I wanted to see if I could afford whatever toy I was looking at, I’d see money that wasn’t earmarked for anything in particular. Naturally, that money got spent more often that it was ignored and allowed to grow. Now, I can completely forget about the money.

4. Automate. I’ve automated everything I can. All of my bills are paid automatically, except for one company that insists on quarterly paper invoices. I’ve got $665(neighbor of the beast!) automatically transferred to my INGDirect account, to get divided between my various savings goals, including a fund for my semi-annual property tax payments and a fund to pay for the braces we haven’t actually had to buy yet, but will in a couple of years. The money disappears into a bank I don’t use for my day-to-day expenses and grows completely out of sight. Every once in a while, I look at the account and get surprised by how much has accumulated.

5. Get rich. Once you’ve got the other four steps in place, all you’ve got to do is let it work. Over time, you will build wealth in a way that may surprise you. Your goal at this point is to do nothing new. Every once in a while, you can pull out some money and tuck it into an investment account to get some real growth going for you.

“Thank you.”

“You’re the best.”

“What would I do without you?”

“How can I show you my appreciation? <wink><wink>”

“What the heck are you doing with my wife?”

These are the things I always hope to hear after sharing my strategies to save money.

Money Problems – Day 2: What’s Going Out?

Finance

Today, I continuing the series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances. The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances. It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear. Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

I’m not running the series in 30 consecutive days. That’s not my schedule. Also, I think that talking about the same thing for 30 days straight will bore both of us. Instead, it will run roughly once a week. To make sure you don’t miss a post, please take a moment to subscribe, either by email or rss.

On this, day 2 of the series, you need to gather all of your bills: your electric bill, your mortgage, the rent for your storage unit, everything. Don’t miss any.

Go ahead, grab them now. I’ll wait.

Did you remember that thing that comes in the plain brown wrapper every month? You know, that thing you always hope your neighbors won’t notice?

Now, you’re going to sort all of the bills into 5 piles.

Pile #1: These are your monthly bills. This will probably be your biggest pile, since most bills are organized to get paid monthly. this will include your credit cards, mortgage(do you rent or buy?), most utilities and your cellphone.

Pile #2: Weekly expenses. When I look at my actual weekly bills, it’s a small stack. Just daycare. However, there are a lot of other expenses to consider. This stack should include your grocery bill, gas for your car, and anything else you spend money on each week.

Pile #3: Quarterly and semiannual bills. I’ve combined these because there generally aren’t enough bills to warrant two piles. My only semi-annual bill is my property tax payment. Quarterly bills could include water & sewer, maybe a life insurance policy and some memberships.

Pile #4: Annual bills. This probably won’t be a large pile. It will usually include just some memberships and subscriptions.

Pile #5: Irregular bills. The are some things that just don’t come due regularly. In our house, school lunches and car repairs fall into this category. We don’t have car problems often, but we set money aside each month so our budget doesn’t get flushed down the drain if something does come up.

Now that you have all of your expenses together, you know what your are on the hook for. Next time, we’ll address income.

3 Questions to Ask in a Spending Crisis

Finance

: Image by ExecGifts via Flickr

Having a well-funded emergency fund is one of the foundation blocks for almost every saving or debt-repayment plan. The theory is that you’ll be better able to weather a financial storm if you don’t have to raid your budget or beat on your credit card every time an unexpected expense rears its ugly head. The number varies based on your pundit and your stage of life, but generally ranges from $1000 to 8 months of your expenses. The money needs to go in a liquid account, so it can be accessed when necessary, but it needs to be completely ignored otherwise. What good is an emergency fund that has been spent?

Now that you have your emergency fund, you are set, right? But what happens when something comes up? When is it okay to spend that money? Emergencies can take so many forms: medical emergencies, car repairs, accidents, a good sale. Wait. What was the last one? What actually constitutes an emergency that is worth shredding your security blanket?

Here are three questions to ask yourself before you spend that money:

Is the expense necessary? If it’s a voluntary expense, you should create a savings goal and wait to buy it until you can actually afford it. Emergency funds are meant for emergencies, not whims. A good sale is never an emergency.
Is it important? When my motorcycle breaks down, it gets parked until I can afford to pay for the repairs. When my car breaks down, I need to get it fixed so I can get the kids to daycare and myself to work.
Is it urgent? Is this an expense that can be postponed until next month, when you have a chance to sell something you don’t need, or rearrange some items in your budget to “find” the necessary cash? If it doesn’t need to be paid right now, it may be best to put it off. In the case of medical bills, you can usually get on a payment plan with no penalties, if you ask. That can change an expensive obligation to a manageable monthly bill.

Your emergency fund should only be used on things that are important, necessary, and urgent. Anything else should get postponed until you can afford to pay it using your on-budget expense items. As the wise man once said: “Lack of planning does not constitute an emergency.” Of course, if you are in a financially stable situation and willing to take a small risk for a short time, eliminating an entire debt item to save the interest can be the right decision.

What would you be willing to spend your emergency fund on?

Budget Lesson, Part 3

Finance

I keep calling these lessons, but they are examples and explanations, more than lessons. Names aside, please see Part 1 and Part 2 to catch up. The Google Doc of this example is here.

This time, I’m going to review my non-monthly bills. These are the bills that have to be paid, but not on a monthly basis. Some are annual, others are quarterly, or even weekly. Every month, the amount–adjusted to the monthly equivalent–is set aside in Quicken.

School Lunch – We don’t qualify for any of the reduced lunch plan, and I don’t know that it is possible to send a brown-bag lunch that is both cheaper and healthier than the school’s menu. This is automatically replenished whenever it gets below $15. This actually gets paid about every other month.
Property Taxes – Semi-annual and increasing every year. I know the valuations around me, so I don’t think an appeal would win.
Life insurance – We pay this quarterly. If I die, my family will be completely covered for several years, without adjusting a single expense. If the expenses are adjusted to account for the fact that I won’t be eating, driving, or using electricity, it will last much longer. This is a separate policy from the one discussed in Part 2. GET INSURANCE! Take care of your family.
AAA – Since we got reliable cars, this hasn’t been a money-saver, but it’s priceless in terms of peace of mind.
Vehicle Registration – We have two cars and a motorcycle that need registration every year. I’m planning to sell the bike in the spring, but I was planning that for last spring, too. It’s easy to put that off, since I enjoy riding.
Daycare – Daycare is a weekly expense. As a two-income family, this isn’t an expense we can do away with…yet. As time goes on, the bill will be getting lower. In June, my youngest reaches a cheaper pricing table and my oldest is almost ready to be done with daycare completely.
City Bill – Our garbage and sewer are paid through the city on a quarterly basis.
Web host – I’ve got this blog, plus a few other side projects hosted here. I have been simplifying and reducing the projects that aren’t fun or profitable, but I’m not sure this expense will ever go away.

There aren’t too many items here that can be legitimately and responsibly trimmed.

Money Problems: Day 12 – Paying for College by Doing Without

Finance

Today, I am continuing the series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances. The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances. It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear. Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

On this, Day 11, we’re going to talk about one method of paying for college.

I have a secret to share. Are you listening? Lean in close: College is expensive.

You’re shocked, I can tell.

The fact is, college prices are rising entirely out of proportion to operation costs, salaries, or inflation. The only thing college prices seem to be pegged to is demand. Demand has gotten thoroughly out of whack. The government forces down the interest rates on student loans, then adds some ridiculous forgiveness as long as you make payments for some arbitrary number of years, creating an artificial demand that wouldn’t be there if the iron fist of government weren’t forcing it into place.

Somebody in Washington has decided that the American dream consists of home ownership and a college education. Everything is a failure. He’s an idiot.

College isn’t for everybody.

Read that again. Not everyone should go to college. Not everyone can thrive in college.

Fewer than half of students who start college graduate. The greater-than-half who drop out still have to repay their loans. Do you think college was a good choice for them?

Then you get the people who major in art history and minor in philosophy. Do you know what that degree qualifies you for? Burger flipping.

Yes, I know. Just having a degree qualifies you for a number of jobs. It’s not because the degree matters, it’s because HR departments set a series of fairly arbitrary requirements just to filter a 6 foot stack of resumes. The only thing they care about is that having a degree proves that you were able to stick college out for 4 years. That HR requirement matters less as time goes on and you develop relevant work experience.

A liberal arts education also—properly done—trains your mind in the skill of learning. First, not everyone is capable of learning new things. Second, not everyone is willing to learn new things. Third, a passion for learning can be fed without college. If you don’t have that passion, college won’t create it. Most of the most learned people throughout history managed without college, or even formal education. Even if you want to feed that passion in a formal classroom, you’re assuming the professors are interested in training your mind instead of indoctrinating it with their views.

Now there are some pursuits that outright require a college education. The sciences like engineering, physics, astronomy, and psychiatry all require college. You know what doesn’t require college? Managing a cube farm. Data entry. Sales. I’m not saying those are bad professions, but they can certainly be done without dropping $50,000 on college.

Some careers require an education, but don’t require a 4 year degree, like nursing(in most states), computer programming(it’s not required, but it makes it a lot easier to break into) and others. Do you need to hit a 4 year school and get a Bachelor’s degree, or can you hold yourself to a 2 year program at a technical college and save yourself 40,000 or more?

That should be an easy choice. Don’t go to college just because you think you should or because somebody said you should, or to get really drunk. College isn’t for everybody and it’s possible it’s not for you.

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