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[Editor:  This is a guest post from my good friend Terra.  I’ve know her for–jeez, really–20 years.  If you’re looking for a staff writer, hit her up.  Seriously.  She’s good people.]

Who doesn’t want a brighter future for their child? Book store shelves overflow with parenting advice tomes and how-to guides to make “uber-kids”. Eager parents lap up promises to raise their children’s I.Q., increase their chances to get into college, and improve their social skills.

From books to apps to specialized software, there is a dizzying number of products available to help your child grow into the genius you know he or she is.

But what if I told you that the secrets to increasing your child’s likelihood to succeed in life were absolutely free. Simple things you have complete control over. No batteries or special upgrades required. No matter your income, education level, or what country you live in, these deceptively simple tips offer powerful results.

1. Make Mealtimes Sacred

Food connects people. From the dawn of time, our species has gathered around the fire, to break bread and share our stories.

In modern times, our schedule can be crazy (between work, social activities, and, you know, life) so having dinner on the table at 6 o’clock every night is not always possible. However, studies consistently show that having a family meal at least 3 times a week has huge benefits for children (from teenagers being less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, to increased academic success, to reduced risk of developing eating disorders or becoming obese, the implications are impressive). And it doesn’t have to be dinner, any meal will work. Consistency is the key.

Far from being boring, children find the predictable routine of family meals reassuring, promoting warm, fuzzy feelings of closeness and comfort (though teenagers will never admit it). Whether it’s take-out or made from scratch goodness, nothing says “I care about you” like sharing a meal.

Quality matters here, so remove distractions during meal time (turn off the TV, ban phones) and focus on each other. Take this time to reconnect and talk about your day and ask the kids about theirs. Make this time sacred. It matters that much.

2. Hug Frequently

“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” – Virginia Satir, psychotherapist

Receiving a loving hug feels wonderful. But beyond feeling “nice”, hugs literally have the power to heal us and improve our lives.

Hugs have superpowers. A hug has the power to release a “happiness hormone cocktail” of oxytocin (natural antidepressant, promotes feelings of devotion, trust and bonding), dopamine (intense pleasure), and serotonin (elevates mood, negates pain and sadness) in both the giver and receiver. Bonus, hugs are naturally gluten-free, organic, and have no unpleasant side effects.

To get the most benefits, prolonged hugging is recommended, around 20 seconds. A full-body hug stimulates your nervous system while decreasing feelings of loneliness, combating fear, increasing self-esteem, defusing tension, and showing appreciation. However, this hug fest only works its magic if you’re hugging someone you trust. Since children love to be held and cuddled, this is ideal for family bonding. Not so much with that new client you just landed (awkward…).

How does hugging effect children specifically? Children who aren’t hugged have delays in walking, talking, and reading. Hugging boosts self-esteem; from the time we’re born our family’s touch shows us that we’re loved and special. All of those cuddles we give to our children are imprinted on them at a cellular level and will still be imbedded in their nervous system as adults. Hugs today equal the ability to self-love as adults. That’s an awesome gift.

3. Create a Home Library

We all know how important reading aloud to children is, from infants to teenagers. Reading is one of the most important factors affecting the development of a child’s brain. But reading skills are not hardwired into us; we don’t pop out of the womb quoting “Pride and Prejudice”. Reading skills need to be taught and encouraged.

Parents are a child’s first, and most important, teachers. While children can learn from flashcards and workbooks, nothing is more powerful than seeing your passion for reading. Whether you like it or not, your children are learning from your every move. What you find important, they will find important. No pressure! Teaching reading to your child requires attention, focus, and motivation. It also requires access to books, lots and lots of books.

Libraries are a great resource for developing a love of reading in your child. Most have a thoughtfully arranged children’s area offering story-time and other enrichment opportunities. However, nothing beats having a book to call your own, to hold and cherish, until the edges are worn with love.

Having a well-stocked home library, it turns out, matters. A lot. This study found that having a 500-book library was equivalent to having university-educated parents in terms of increasing the level of education their children will attain. That’s pretty powerful. It doesn’t matter if your family is rich or poor, from North America or Asia, if your parents are illiterate or college-educated, what matters is that you have books in your home.

Don’t’ have the space for 500 books? No worries. Having as few as 20 books in the home still has a significant impact on propelling a child to a higher level of education, and the more books you add, the greater the benefit.

Having a variety of books available makes a difference; especially important are reference books, with history and science texts having the greatest benefit.

No money for books? No Excuse! Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library is a great resource for free, high-quality children’s books. When you sign up, your child is mailed a new book each month until the age of five, addressed to them (a very special thing indeed).

I hope these tips empower you to take action. Small changes can have a big impact on your child’s future. Just remember, it’s not the money you make or the tutor you’ve hired or the new app you’ve installed that will catapult your baby Einstein ahead in life. It’s the quiet moments with you at home, eating, hugging, and reading that will carry them through whatever life brings their way.

Are these things you would like to focus on in your family? Do you have simple parenting tips that have made a difference in your child’s life?

For the last year or so, I haven’t been writing much, which feels weird.  I used to write three timer per week.   I’d write about saving money, investing, frugality, sometimes, relationships and parenting.

But that stopped.   Why?

When I started this site, I was about $110,000 in debt, and just starting my journey out of it.  A few months before, I was looking into bankruptcy, because I didn’t know how to get out of debt.

For years, the ways I saved money, cut corners, and earned extra money was fodder for this site.  Everything I did was about saving money, earning money, and paying off debt.

Now?  I’m about 2 months away from being completely debt-free.   I paid my mortgage off last month, and have about $10,000 in credit card debt at the moment.   I know, I paid that off backwards, but there are reasons.  Reasons I’ll share another time.

4 years ago, I was essentially working 4 jobs.   My day job, my gun training business, my internet marketing business, and my websites(including this one).   I was working all of the time.   It was necessary, but it’s a path to burnout.   Then, I changed jobs a couple of times, nearly doubling my day job’s pay.   My business partner got promoted out of a position that generated leads for one of our businesses, then had an accident that the other shared business on hold for a while.

Suddenly, I had free time and enough money coming in that I didn’t need to work all of the time.   It was a crazy place to be after spending more than a decade pretending to be a workaholic just to keep my head above water.   (Here’s a secret:  I’m incredibly lazy.  I’m just the busiest lazy man I know.)  So I started pursuing hobbies.

Linda and I have been taking ballroom dancing lessons and are nearly to the point that competing is a real possibility.

I cleaned out my garage and assembled a decent wood shop, which is something I’ve wanted to do roughly forever.

I’ve been taking blacksmithing lessons with my teenage son.

I’ve been playing games with my kids, dating my wife, and simply enjoying my life.

This site?

Through all of that, I haven’t known what to write about.

“Dear audience, this month, I paid my bills, didn’t go on vacation, and bought a drill press.”

“Dear audience, my debt went down another $500 this month.”

“Dear audience,  I didn’t buy a car I can’t afford this month.  Again.”

Those aren’t good articles.   Financially–while paying off debt is disturbingly exciting–my life is very repetitive.   That’s the hardest part about paying off a lot of debt.   It’s good, it’s necessary, it’s boring.   My wins have been spaced out by several years lately, and I haven’t been creatively frugal.  Screw frugal.   If you can afford some conveniences and luxuries, frugal sucks.

Anything new happening in my world that would apply to this site would make it read like an accountant’s ledger book.   $100,000 minus $1500 plus $10,000 minus $300, ad nauseum.

Instead of inflicting boring accountancy on you, I’ve been absent.

What next?   Who knows.   I enjoy writing.  I enjoy writing here.   I’ve started writing a novel.

What would you like to see here?