- Up at 5 two days in a row. Sleepy. #
- May your…year be filled w/ magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you…kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful. @neilhimself #
- Woo! First all-cash grocery trip ever. Felt neat. #
- I accidentally took a 3 hour nap yesterday, so I had a hard time sleeping. 5am is difficult. #
- Wee! Got included in the Carnival of Personal Finance, again. http://su.pr/2AKnDB #
- Son’s wrestling season starts in two days. My next 3 months just got hectic. #
- RT @Moneymonk: A real emergency is something that threatens your survival, not just your desire to be comfortable -David Bach # [Read more…] about Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-01-09
Medical Costs and Choices
- Image via Wikipedia
I’m not a bad father.
Last spring, we noticed my son had a wandering eye. One of his eyes would just drift when he was looking at something. It was happening consistently, so we brought him to the eye doctor. After an exam, we found out that his eyes were 20/100. The doctor said that getting him classes may be enough to fix the wandering eye problem. The theory was that his eye was drifting because his eyes weren’t able to focus. Bringing the world into focus could have let his eyes train themselves to work right.
Nine months with glasses later, the problem hasn’t gone away, so we went back to the eye doctor.
He’s got alternating exotropia. His eyes aren’t working well together. One eye will focus, and the other will drift. So now we’re looking into vision therapists.
A friend went through something similar with his kid, so I asked him for the name of the doctor he used. He gave it to me and told me the clinic was the best in the business, and I would be paying for that. I asked about the cost and was handed the doctor’s spiel about how sad it is that parents focus more on the cost of care than getting the best possible care.
What a load of crap.
First of all, that’s a sales pitch. Of course the doctor is going to defend his prices. If his prices are exorbitant(I don’t have a basis for comparison) and he can’t defend them, people will go elsewhere. $3000 isn’t pocket change. That’s a significant chunk of change. Refusing to look at your options is irresponsible.
Second, price does not equal quality. There are a ton of things that are overpriced garbage. Not only do scam artists abound, but some legitimate things are are horribly overpriced at one location and reasonably priced at others. To stay on the vision theme, my $10 glasses are every bit as high quality as any $400 pair I’ve ever owned. The difference between generic and brand-name drugs? The label and the price. The FDA requires they be chemically identical to be sold. If you insist on the brand name because it’s “better”, you are flushing your money down the toilet. If you live by “you get what you pay for” you are guaranteed to get ripped off.
Third, balancing cost and treatment doesn’t mean I care less. Yes, I am killing my debt as fast as I can right now. Even when I was willing to use a credit card, I wouldn’t drop $3000 without considering my options. I have an entire family to consider, not one problem that my kid doesn’t even notice. Grr. I hate getting told–implicitly or otherwise–that I am a bad parent because I don’t choose to waste my money the way other people do. I’ll check out my options first, thank you.
Now, I will pay for the best when it is warranted. My wife wants Lasik and mentioned some sale some company was having. No. The guy sticking a laser and a scalpel in my eye will not be the lowest bidder. When I left the gene pool, I went to one of the top guys in the state for the procedure. When those things screw up, it’s permanent.
Vision therapy? Not so much. If it comes to surgery, we’ll go with the best. But it’s not there, yet. My kid is going to get a series of eye exercises, no matter where we go. Even if I go to some back alley vision therapist with a degree from a Nigeria U, what’s the worst case scenario? We may have to try someone else. Since I will be doing a bit more research than that, odds are better that my kid will get exactly the same therapy regimen for 1/4 of the cost. That’s the difference between a perfectly competent doctor and a perfectly competent doctor who convinced some trade magazine to write him up as the best in the business.
What do you think? Am I neglecting my kid by wanting to save some money for his braces, too?
Stealing Motivation
We go a bit overboard on Halloween.
Maybe more than a bit. The yard in the video is mine. As I write this, I’ve got 40 tombstones, more than 200 skulls, and half a dozen life-size props in my yard. The coffin leaning against the tree was bought used on the secondhand coffin market.
I have a motion-activated monster whose eyes light up as his head turns to watch you as you walk past. He just happens to be the exact size in all dimensions as my son was 4 years ago.
A few years ago, I built a beautiful zombie who–not so coincidentally–had the exact height and proportions as my wife.
Last year, a few days before Halloween, somebody came into my yard and stole my bride. They also tried stealing the small coffin, but only managed to get away with the lid, leaving the coffin itself behind.
I hate thieves.
This year, I was at the Financial Bloggers Conference the weekend I traditionally set up for Halloween, so I was getting a late start.
Every time I’ve tried to get out and set up my yard, I just keep thinking about the irreplaceable pieces that were stolen. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a child-sized coffin lid dating back to 1863? Or how impossible it is to get the 100 hours of my life I put into my zombie?
I think about how hurt I would be if somebody stole my son-sized animatronic ghoul or the demon who shares my measurements, but is two feet shorter. I’ve spent hundreds of hours per year, over 10 years building my yard full of one-of-a-kind props, and someone felt it was acceptable to tear down a section of my skull fence, come into my yard, and steal a little piece of my life.
Motivation has been difficult this year.
Last night, while I was out arranging my much-reduced yard haunt, a neighbor came by to let me know that he was disappointed with the smaller production. He wasn’t upset, but he–like the entire neighborhood–love watching the gore grow in my yard while anticipating the evening full of screams as the kids wander through every Halloween.
I can’t do it.
The thieving punks stole not just two of my favorite props, but a huge piece of my desire to scare the neighborhood kids.
Maybe I just need a year off, so I can come back with better ideas and a security plan more detailed than “my neighbors love this, none of them would steal anything!”
I would love to find the thieves. Post-beating, I’d explain how stealing from anyone is stealing a small and irreplaceable part of their lives. Stealing their handcrafted treasure is ripping out a piece of their soul. Stealing their motivation is stealing the memories for every visitor who would ever benefit from their craft, if the motivation is dead enough to kill the production.
I hope I’m not to that point, yet, but I can’t promise anything. Maybe next year.
A Late-Blooming Career Cut Short: Dennis Farina Passes at 69
Dennis Farina’s acting career was unique in Hollywood as one of the few actors to garner success later in life. This “late-bloomer” started his acting career at 37 years old, after almost 20 years as a Chicago police officer. He
was well known as a character actor, playing a cop on NBC’s “Law & Order,” and one of the only cast members that had been on the police force in real life.
Dennis was born on February 29, 1944 to Italian parents in Chicago. His father, Joseph, was a doctor and an immigrant from Sicily. This leap-year baby would go on to serve 3 years in the military and then to serve his native city as a policeman from 1967 to 1985. He worked mostly in burglary and it was there that he was hired by director Michael Mann as a consultant for the movie “Thief” (1981), starring James Caan. Farina was given a bit part in the movie and would go on to work for Mann in future roles. After a brief stint acting in Chicago theater, he left the police force for a lead role in Mann’s television series “Crime Story” (1986). He also played mobster Albert Lombard in Mann’s other television show, “Miami Vice.”
Farina’s distinguishing looks made him perfect for his roles as a cop or a gangster. He was tall and imposing, with a memorable silver mustache. He worked steadily in both television and the movies after quitting the Chicago police force. His first major movie role was another Michael Mann movie, “Manhunter”(1986), in which he played an FBI agent. This was the first of the Hannibal Lecter films and Farina would go on to star in all three.
Farina’s most memorable movie roles were in 1998’s “Saving Private Ryan” in which he played a colonel who convinces Tom Hank’s character to rescue Private Ryan from the Nazis. He was known for his comedy roles as well as his serious characters. In “Get Shorty,” Farina received an American Comedy Actor award for his performance as “Ray ‘Bones’ Barboni, John Travolta’s rival.
Dennis Farina’s other screen credits include “Out of Sight” with Jennifer Lopez; John Frankenheimer’s “Reindeer Games,” Guy Ritchie’s “Snatch,” as well as the 2008 comedy, “Bottle Shock”. He was narrator for the TV show “Unsolved Mysteries,” replacing Robert Stack as the original host. Farina starred alongside Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher in “What Happens in Vegas” (2008). Another comedic role was in HBO’s “Empire Falls,” starring Helen Hunt and Ed Harris. His last recurring TV role was in “Luck,” the 2012 horse racing series.
Farina and his wife of 10 years, Patricia, had three sons. Joseph Farina followed in his father’s footsteps and became an actor. And sadly, Dennis Farina’s second act in life came to a close on July 22, 2013. He was only 69 years old when he died from a pulmonary embolism at his home in Scottsdale, Arizona.
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Things to teach your kids about money
As parents, it is our job to teach our kids about a lot of things: driving, reading, manners, sex, ethics, and much, much more. How many of us spend the time and effort to teach our kids about money? A basic financial education would make money in early(and even late) adulthood easier to deal with. Unfortunately, money is considered taboo, even among the people we are closest to.
It’s time to shatter the taboo, at least at home. Our kids need a financial education at least as much as they need a sex education, and—properly done—both educations take place at home.
How do you know what to teach? One method is to look back at all of the things you’ve struggled with and make sure your kids know more than you did. If that won’t work, you can use this list.
- Balance a checkbook. This is the most basic of financial skills. The easiest way to teach this is to help him open a checking account and demand he keeps the register current and reconciled. Make him use a paper register. Quicken or an alternative may handle the work, but your kid will never learn the underlying principles if he doesn’t have to sit down with a pen and calculator to do the work. The cheat can come later, when he is capable of handling the task himself. It’s the same reason schools don’t let kids use calculators until the basics are thoroughly mastered.
- Calculate paid interest. Understanding how much something costs after accounting for interest should be enough to scare anyone away from credit cards. I believe that the reason it doesn’t is because most people don’t understand how to figure out what interest is costing them. In case you don’t know yourself, the math is simple: balance X interest rate(as a decimal) / 12. That will show you how much you are paying each month for the privilege of borrowing money.
- Use your money to make money, not to pay interest. The flip side of interest is earned interest. It’s always best to let your money work for you, building your wealth than to struggle to finance a bank’s payroll liabilities.
- Save 25%. My son is required to put a quarter of everything he earns in his bank account. He gets $20 for shoveling the neighbor’s driveway, so $5 goes in the bank. The money he gets for gifts is handled the same way. Everything he gets, whether it be from a gift, his allowance, or work he does—gets divided the same way. If I can establish that habit for him, and impress upon him the value of saving 25% enough that he continues into adulthood, he will never have money problems.
- Always contribute to retirement. At every opportunity, from every paycheck, make a contribution to retirement. At a minimum, a 401k contribution should be made at a level that takes full advantage of any company match. If there is no match, even $25 per paycheck will add up over time. Teach them to work towards the 401k contribution limits.
- Spend less than you earn. This is the shining, glorious foundational principle of successful finances. Not just individuals, but businesses and even governments should learn this lesson. If–at all times–you are spending less than you earn, you will have more options to handle the remaining bits. If you live on the wrong side of this equation, you will never be able to get ahead, no matter how hard you work.
Those are the lessons that I am working to instill in my children, a little at a time. Am I missing any?
I Won the Lottery!
No, I didn’t, but this is what I’d do if I won an obnoxious amount of money.
- Take 6 months or a year, hire traveling tutors for the kids, and see the world. This gives the extra benefit of being completely out of reach for anyone trying to borrow money.
- Pay off the mortgages of a few close family and friends.
- Set aside a big chunk to support my decadent, extravagant lifestyle.
- Create a fund.
This fund will have the purpose of making all of my descendants live life on the easy setting in perpetuity. It will give them enough money to cover the major hurdles everyone has in life, without giving enough that they don’t have to work. Here’s the money I see them getting:
- Upon the birth or adoption of a child with my last name (Because I’m a jerk like that. My name will last forever!): $10,000
- Graduate high school with at least a B average: $5,000
- Attending college while making progress towards graduation: $10,000 per year, up to 8 years(to allow for doctors and rocket scientists and stuff)
- Graduating college: The amount of college costs (tuition, room & board, etc.) up to $200,000.
- Marriage, provided my descendant maintains my last name: $20,000
- Starting a business, up to twice in a lifetime: $50,000
Each of these items that occur after the recipient becomes an adult would have the stipulation that their will gifts half of their estate back to the fund. That way, everyone who got this headstart will help pay it forward.
This will require management, so I would appoint trustees to manage it. Their job will be to grow the fund and adjudicate any requests. They will have the authority to buy property, invest in businesses, or whatever will grow the fund to support future generations of my spawn. Three, because that way there can be no ties. Each of the three will have a named successor, who must be one of my descendants. They will, of course, earn salaries. I don’t see this being part-time work. A salary that puts them at the 80th income percentile in the US seems fair. They won’t have the ability to give themselves raises, beyond a statistical adjustment.
Amounts can be adjusted to cover rising costs, inflation, or potential depletion of the fun upon the majority vote of the Council of Three, with the overriding goal of making sure the fund survives to help future generations.
I actually see the organization of this being a corporation built around the management of a trust fund, but I’m not a lawyer or an accountant, and this is a fantasy, so I can see it however I want.
Yes, I follow the patriarchal model of maintaining my last name. Sue me. My last name, a parent who is descended from me and has my last name, and a will that states you’ll do your part to continue the awesomeness isn’t a high price to pay to avoid nearly all of the expensive things that hold people back.
That’s my master plan to take over the world, in the future, by proxy.
