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The Spending Styles of the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Finance

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Everybody has a spending style.  Like a fingerprint, it is unique to each individual, even if that individual is fictional.

Since it is the Halloween season, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show is a Halloween movie, I’m going to look at how those characters spend their money.

Janet Weiss – A Heroine

Janet is the stereotype of every suburbanite soccer-mom-who-hasn’t-gotten-married-and-had-kids-yet. She wants to keep up with the Joneses(“It’s nicer than Betty Monroe had! [Oh Brad!]”) and she is obviously impressed by and envious of people who have all of the trappings of the “finer things”.  If she has a credit card, you can bet that it is peeling on the sides from over-use.   While she wears conservative clothes and sensible shoes to go visit an old mentor, she’s almost definitely got a closet full of fancy shoes and a drawer full of real-baby-seal-skin g-strings.   If Brad were smarter, he’d run, and not just because of her loyalty issues.   She’ll never be content with a sensible car and modest house.

Brad Majors – A Hero

Brad is a pompous jerk who thinks he’s better than those around him.  He’s also extremely conservative and slow to accept change.   He’s going to give Janet an allowance and complain every time she spends a penny of it.   His investment portfolio is well-balanced and configured for long-term growth and he’s going to rub your nose in it at the neighborhood barbecue.   To shut him up, just ask why his kid was born with an accent and garters.

Magenta – A Domestic

What’s a domestic?  Magenta is the most financially responsible person in the show.   She’s third -in-command of an alien invasion, but still takes on a second job?  That’s a woman planning for retirement.   She’s not going to rely on anyone to support her.   She knows how to enjoy a party, without having to spend all of her money on a glitter-suit.

Columbia – A Groupie (as Little Nell)

Columbia is incapable of making a decision that wasn’t pre-formed by her peer group.  She’s doomed to chase every fad, hoping it will impress those around her.  While she’ll always be remembered for her glitter-suit or the corset that isn’t quite tall enough, she’ll never be happy or have a spare penny in case of emergencies.

Riff Raff – A Handyman

Riff Raff has jealousy issues.  He sees his boss and commander throwing a party and having a good time, but, instead of working towards being able to do that himself, he kills his boss and steals his house.  He is greedy, jealous, and deceitful.  Don’t ever turn your back on him, or he’ll steal your wallet, hit you over the head and bury you in the backyard just so he can pretend it’s his party.

Eddie – Ex Delivery Boy (as Meatloaf)

Eddie is out of his head (H-E-D).   He’s the tag-a-long who will keep buying expensive dinners that he can’t afford in an attempt to impress whoever is around to see him pick up the check.  He isn’t sure how to fit in, but he’s positive that he can buy his way there.    In reality, he’s dead(spelled right) broke and will end up getting screwed.

Rocky Horror – A Creation

Here is the true blank slate.   He’s just seven hours old, so he’s got no bad habits to break.  Unfortunately, he’s never had to learn any hard lessons, so his head is easily turned by an glittered bauble or babbling, half-dressed flake.   He’s incapable of making an informed decision about anything, so he follows everyone around getting whatever they like.   He’ll spend his entire life getting by on his looks, which will almost always be successful, until life catches up to him and he dies broke and alone.

Dr. Frank-N-Furter – A Scientist

Frank knows how to throw a party.  He travels 12 billion light years brings not only a keg, but the entire party house with him.   Who wouldn’t want to be his friend?   There’s a fancy house, a room to stay in if you drink too much, pretty people being built in the lab, and gourmet corn-fed delivery-boy being served for dinner.   Watch out, though.  He doesn’t tend to his job.  One day,  the credit cards will be maxed, the bank will foreclose on the house and send it back to Sweet Transexual Transylvania, leaving Frank penniless.  Who will be his friend then?

Which Rocky character are you?

           Science Fiction
           Double Feature.
           Frank has built and
           Lost his creature.
           Darkness has conquered
           Brad and Janet.
           The servants gone to
           A distant planet.

Three Alternatives to a Budget

Finance

the envelope system: day one
Image by J. McPherskesen via Flickr

Budgets aren’t for everyone.  For some people, the very idea of trying to track where their money going is painful.  And that’s just the idea of tracking the money.  It gets far worse when you’ve got $10 budgeted for coffee, $12 for fast food, $66.50 for gas, and $0.75 for entertainment.  It’s can be hard to follow a strict budget for long.

If you know you need to track your money, and you also know that a strict, zero-based budget won’t work for you, what can you do?  Luckily, there are alternatives.

1. Hope and Pray. This is otherwise known as the “Call my bank everyday and see how close I am to over-drafting” system.  To fully embrace this system, you need to not only abandon a written–or even organized–budget, but you should also throw your checkbook register in the garbage.   Make sure you’ve got a good overdraft protection account attached to your checking account and let your money take care of itself.  This is the ultimate zen of personal finance.  Don’t stress or worry, just hope for the best.   This system works best if you make more money than Oprah and have modest tastes.  For those of us who have to watch our money a bit to make sure the month outlasts our money, this probably isn’t a great plan.

2. The Envelope System. To implement this system, you do need to create a basic budget so know what you are obligated to pay.  Once you have that done, take a stack of envelopes and label them for each item you have to pay.   Add another envelope for food, another for entertainment, and another for miscellaneous because there is always a miscellaneous.   Divide the money among the envelopes.   Now for the magic. When you have to spend something, take the money out of the appropriate envelope and spend it.  That’s it.  If, however, there isn’t enough money in the right envelope, but you still need to spend the money, you have to take it out of a different envelope and spend less on the category that lost money.

3.  Percentages. This is the simplest of the non-budget budgets.   Take 50% of your money and spend it on necessities, like the mortgage, food,  and utilities.   The next 30% goes to savings and retirement.  The last 20% is for fun or any other thing you want to spend it on.  This naturally works best if you are out of debt, but if not, just make sure most of the 20% fun money goes to repaying debt.   This system works best if your bills are automated and you will need to set up a basic budget first, so you can make sure your necessities come in under 50% of your income.

Not every budget plan will work for everyone, but there are always alternatives that can still help you manage your money.

How do you track your money?

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Saturday Roundup: Evil Dead

Misc

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Last night, my wife and I went to see Evil Dead: The Musical.   I’m a die-hard zombie-movie fan, and the Evil Dead Trilogy is among my favorites.   I don’t recognize a difference between Candarian demons and zombies, so it still fits the genre.

The musical beats either of the first two movies, hands down.   I was rolling.  If you are in the Minneapolis area tomorrow, check it out at the Illusion Theater.    If you are elsewhere, watch for it.  It’s entirely worth the time and money.

Best Posts:

Sometimes, shopping can save you money, but don’t let it get out of hand.

I’ve never had food poisoning, but my wife has.  It was unpleasant.

Bacon soda.  Yum.  No further comment.

Bad marketers.  No donut.

Carnivals I’ve been in:

AAA – Save Some Cash was included in the Festival of Frugality.

The Spending Styles of the Rocky Horror Picture Show was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Crack was included in Foodtastic Favorites.

If I missed anyone, please let me know.   Thanks for including me!

Make a Budget

Finance

DSC02103
Image by r.lovewell via Flickr

In the past, I’ve gone through a detailed series of budget lessons demonstrating how to make a budget and showing my personal budget spreadsheet template.  If you weren’t here to see them develop, you probably haven’t seen them at all.    I’ve never built an actual index for those posts.

This is the master index of my budget planning resources.  As I develop more, this will grow.

Budget Lesson #1 – In this lesson, I go over how we handle discretionary income and I explain our modified envelope system.   The discretionary budget contains things like our grocery bill, or the clothes we buy.  We have near-total discretion over what is purchased, hence the name.

Budget Lesson #2 – Lesson #2 contains the details of our monthly bills.  These are the ones that are consistent, predictable, and actually due each month.  Most people take these for granted as the bills they have to pay, but it’s not true.   You can get almost all of your regular bills reduced just by asking.   You would also be surprised what you can do without, when properly motivated.

Budget Lesson #3 – This is where I explain how we deal with the non-monthly bills.  That is, the bills that have to be paid, but are not due on a monthly basis.  I also share the personal budget spreadsheet template I developed.   I am working on a few sample templates to match various imaginary scenarios.  If you’d like to be an anonymous case study, and get free help setting up a budget, let me know, please.

Budget Lesson #4 – In this lesson, I describe our “set-aside” funds for things that will need to be paid eventually, but not on a set schedule.  Sometimes, they are never actually due.   We set aside money for the parties we throw, for car repairs and for a number of other things.  A few of these items are outright optional, but they are part of what makes life fun.  You can’t make a budget without including some of the extras.

Budget Lesson #5 – This is the companion piece to lesson 2.   Learn how I’ve reduced–or attempted to reduce–each of these bills.   For the better part of two years, I called Dish Network every few months to ask for a discount.  For almost 2 years, it was granted.  Then one, day, they told me they were putting a note on our account to keep us from getting any more discounts, so I canceled.   100% discounts help us save more.

Budget Lesson #6 – This is the reduction companion to lesson 3.  These bills are harder to reduce.  Have you ever successfully gotten your property taxes lowered?

Budget Lesson #7 – This is the reduction companion to lesson 4.  Notice a pattern, yet?

Budget Lesson #8 – Here, completely out of order, is the reduction companion to lesson 1.   Watch as I magically reduce–or rationalize–our discretionary budget.

So, dear readers, what part of budgeting should I address next?

A Budget Isn’t Enough

Finance

Pre-war Bayer heroin bottle, originally contai...
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You know exactly how much you make, to the penny.   You’ve listed all of your bills in a spreadsheet, including the annual payment for your membership to Save the  Combat-Wombat.   You know exactly how much is coming in and how much has to go out each month.   Your income is more than your expenses, yet somehow,  you still have more month than money.

What’s going on?

The short answer is that a budget is not enough.

A budget is not…

…a checkbook register. Do you track everything you spend?  Are you busting your budget on $10 lattes or DVDs every few days?  Is the take-out you have for lunch every day adding up to 3 times your food budget?  Are you sure?   If you don’t track what you spend, how do you know what you’ve actually spent?  You have to keep track of what you are spending.   Luckily there are ways to do this that don’t involve complex calculation, laborious systems or even proper math.   The easy options include using cash for all of your discretionary spending(no money, no spendy!), rounding your spending up so you always have more money than you think you do, or even keeping your discretionary money is a separate debit account.  That will let you keep your necessary expenses covered.  You’ll just have to check your discretionary account’s balance often and always remember that sometimes, things take a few days to hit your bank.

…a debt repayment plan. You may know how much you have available, but if you aren’t exercising the discipline to pay down your debt and avoid using more debt, you not only won’t make progress, but you’ll continue to dig a deeper hole.   Without properly managing the money going out, watching the money coming in is pointless.

…an alternative to responsible spending. Your budget may say you have $500 to spare every month, but does that mean you should blow it on smack instead of setting up an emergency fund?   I realize most heroin addicts probably aren’t reading this, but dropping $500 at the bar or racetrack is just as wasteful if you don’t have your other finances in order.   Take care of your future needs before you spend all of your money on present(and fleeting) pleasures.

A budget is a starting point for keeping your financial life organized and measuring a positive cash flow.  By itself, it can’t help you.   You need to follow it up with responsible planning and spending.

3 Simple Ways Keeping Your Spending Organized

Finance

West Gate Towers and Museum, St Peter's Street...
Image via Wikipedia

On of the biggest problems we had with controlling our finances was knowing where the money went.   Have you ever said “Honey, do you realize we spent $900 eating out this month?”   I have.   The amount we spent on some categories was mind-blowing.    Maybe some people don’t see $900 at restaurants, $400 on clothes, or  $300 on books and movies as a problem, but I do and it was ridiculous!  We’ve dialed back hard on the unnecessary spending and the first step was to understand our spending habits.  That was a painful self-examination.

Here’s what we did:

  1. Have a Budget. This is quite simply the most basic step in organizing your finances.  If you don’t have a budget, you don’t have a plan for where your money will go.  Without a plan, your money goes on about its business without consulting you.  Your money does not like you. It will do its level best to get as far away from you as fast as possible.   A good budget is like shackles for your cash. Never underestimate the value of a good pair of shackles.
  2. Use a Spending Journal. Before we went cash-only, I was a no-cash spender.  Every purchase was with my debit card and every receipt went into my wallet.  That’s a disorganized, but effective spending journal.   When it was time to balance the checkbook, I could look through my receipts and no exactly where the money went.  It was nice to have a chance to wave good-bye and send it a postcard as it ran away from home.  Other people use a small notebook or even–for the truly cutting-edge–the register that comes in a box of checks.  Whatever system you choose, make sure you use it.  If you don’t know where your money has gone in the past, how can you plan for the future?

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  3. Use a Ledger. Most people call this the checkbook register.   I use Quicken.   About once per month, I sit down with any receipts we’ve generated and the list of transactions on the bank website and I balance the checkbook.   I note everything we’ve spent, flag everything that has cleared the bank, and make sure all of the numbers match.   This gives me a chance to review everything we’ve had incoming and outgoing and address any abnormalities while there is still a chance to get the bank to address problems.

How do you track your spending?

Update:  This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.