Heartache and heartbreak are hard enough to endure but imagine having to go through the loss of a relationship while the world looks on. Such is the high price of celebrity divorce and the latest victim is the beautiful and talented television chef, Nigella Lawson. Shocking photos of Nigella apparently being choked by her husband, Charles Saatchi, surfaced in the media following the June 9th dinner at Scott’s restaurant in Mayfair, London, where the incident occurred. Saatchi’s advisors urged him to humble himself and admit a public apology for the assault. Saatchi denied any wrongdoing, saying he never assaulted her and in fact, was actually removing mucous from his wife’s nose. Nigella was stunned by the admonition of “nose-picking” and his refusal to apologize. She left Saatchi and their family home in Chelsea.
Shattering Taboos
ta·boo
-adjective
1. proscribed by society as improper or unacceptable: taboo words.
There is a societal prohibition against talking about money, especially actual money. Talking about a deal, or the hypothetical bundle you lost on the Super Bowl is ok, but discussing how much money you make, or how much you have saved for retirement is almost as bad as talking about sex. In many social circles, it’s far worse.
Money is one of the primary causes of divorce, second only to infidelity. It can cause myriad problems, including anxiety, depression, paranoia, impotence, impulse spending, gambling, social isolation, suicide, and murder. Yet even therapists hesitate to discuss finance with their patients.
Occasionally to the chagrin of my family and friends, I’ve almost completely destroyed that taboo in myself. After spending a year and a half writing about everything I do financially, I’ve found myself with very little hesitation to talk about my finances in real life. I don’t mind discussing my credit card debt, my projections on paying off my mortgage, or almost anything else, with the exception of my salary. I’ve never seen anything good come from coworkers comparing paystubs. Somebody always gets hurt feelings.
Aside from that one exception, I think it’s healthy to talk about money. How many kids launch into adulthood financially clueless because their parents wouldn’t talk about money? How many marriages could be saved if couples would talk about their financial problems before they became financial disasters?
How can you go about breaking down the mental barrier to talking about money? Starting a personal finance blog and writing three to four times per week for a couple of years isn’t a practical solution for everyone.
Start small.
Mention the fact that you have a credit card balance(assuming you do) when you are talking to a friend. Suggest a coworker appeal his property taxes, or offer a couple of tips to help your cousin negotiate her rent.
Most importantly, start having these conversations with your spouse/significant other/life partner. If you can plan to spend the rest of your life with someone, you can certainly plan to discuss one of the most important topics in your life with her. If you can’t, are you really a good fit?
Try it. Break down that taboo. Your life will be better for it.
Are you afraid to talk about money?
Carnival Roundup: Sick
Last Friday, my youngest daughter woke me up at 3AM by puking in my bed. Saturday, my son came down with a fever that we discovered on Wednesday was part of a nasty sinus infection. Sunday, my wife appeared to catch the flu that she was kind enough to share with me on Tuesday. Thursday, my youngest caught a horrible cold that’s had her coughing hard enough to feel nauseous. Only my six-year-old has escaped unscathed.
Live Real, Now was included in the following carnivals recently:
Lifestyle Carnival hosted by Money Master Mom
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Family Money Values
Carnival of Retirement #59 hosted by Midlife Finances
Yakezie Carnival hosted by My University Money
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by The Happy Homeowner
Carnival of Retirement #61 hosted by Free at 33
Yakezie Carnival hosted by Debt Black Hole
Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #71 hosted by Debt Round Up
Carnival of Retirement #60 hosted by Master the Art of Saving
Yakezie Carnival hosted by NZ Muse
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Money Reasons
Lifestyle Carnival hosted by Vanessa’s Money
Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #69 hosted by Savvy Scot
Yakezie Carnival hosted by The Frugal Toad
Lifestyle Carnival hosted by Savvy Scot
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Drop That Debt
Carnival of Retirement #56 hosted by Making Sense of Cents
Y & T’s Weekend Ramblings hosted by Young & Thrifty
Yakezie Carnival hosted by The Amateur Financier
Lifestyle Carnival hosted by Free at 33
Yakezie Carnival hosted by KNS Financial
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by The Ultimate Juggle
Lifestyle Carnival hosted by Blue Collar Workman
Y & T’s Weekend Ramblings hosted by Young & Thrifty
Finance Carnival for Young Adults hosted by 20s Finances
Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Cash Net USA
Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #66 hosted by Vanessa’s Money
Carnival of Retirement #53 hosted by Good Financial Cents
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Kris Jenner’s $125 Million Divorce
In what could end up being an incredibly expensive divorce, Bruce and Kris Jenner, of “Keeping up with the Kardashians” fame have announced that their separation will be permanent. Reports suggest that the couple had no prenuptial agreement and that 125 million dollars is on the line. In California, anyone who decides to get divorced without a prenup will split assets right down the middle.
Rumors suggest that Bruce wasn’t enthusiastic about his permanent role as sidekick to his wife and that he wasn’t allowed to help with any major decisions impacting the family.
Although a joint media statement from the former couple suggests that the split was “amicable,” it’s difficult to believe that two decades of marriage and a 125 million dollar fortune would just end with a friendly split. What seems clear from rumors and reports about the couple; however, is that there was no specific event which pushed the couple apart.
In their statement, the soon-to-be divorced couple said:
“But we will always have much love and respect for each other. Even though we are separated, we will always remain best friends and, as always, our family will remain our number one priority.”
In addition, sources also suggest that the reality television empire won’t come screeching to a halt. Interestingly, soon after the news broke that Bruce and Kris would be separating, Bruce and some of the couple’s children were seen at a golf course. When the family noticed a paparazzi taking a picture from across the green, the Jenner family each flipped the bird to the photographer while each had a huge smile on his or her face.
Interestingly, it seems that Kris was the first to take her wedding ring off after the divorce announcement while Bruce was photographed still wearing his ring.
There haven’t been any reports of infidelity or abuse between the couple and many of the anonymous sources who have come out to offer insight on the divorce have said that the split was a long time in coming. Bruce was already staying at a rental property for several months at the time of the divorce announcement and hadn’t been living inside the Kardashian compound in Calabasas for some time.
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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-04-17
- RT @kristinbrianne: Get Talk and Txt Unlimited Cell Svc w/ Free Phone for $10 per month by joining DNA for Free. http://tinyurl.com/yyg5ohn #
- RT: @ChristianPF is giving away an iPod Touch! – RT to enter to win… http://su.pr/2LS3p5 #
- 74 inch armspan and forearms bigger than my biceps. No, I don't button my shirt cuffs. #
- RT @deliverawaydebt Money Hackers Network Carnival #111 – Don't Hassel the Hoff Edition http://bit.ly/9BIAvE #
- @bargainr What would it take to get you to include me in the personal-finance-bloggers list? #
- Working on a Penfed application to transform my worst interest rate into my best. #
- Gave the 1 year old pop rocks for the first time. Big smiles. #
- @Netflix @Wii disc works well and loads fast. Go, go gadget movie! #
30 Day Project – January
This month, I have two 30 Day Projects.
My first project is to start waking up at 5am. This will add an extra 90 minutes to my day, which will give me time to manage all of my other 30 day projects. I’ll be able to wake up to a quiet house, walk the dog, eat breakfast and not start every day in a rush to get out of the house. Today was my exception. After watching 2010 arrive, I didn’t get up early.
The second project is to start reading to my children every night before bed. We read to the kids often, but not every day. That’s going to change. We are also working on breaking the girls of the family bed. If I can read them to sleep each night, it will help. Good, educational family time that makes it easier to sleep every night.
These are both habits I want to keep long after the month is up.