What would your future-you have to say to you?
The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.
What would your future-you have to say to you?
First, my disclaimer: I’m not destitute.
However, I’m trying to spend Christmas acting like I am a pauper.
Why, with small children and beautiful-and-more-than-deserving wife, would I want to deprive my family of a bountiful holiday?
Before we get into the reasons for being a horrible grinch bent on depriving my children of their god-given right to rampant consumerism, let’s look at the Philosophy of Destitution.
The primary reason to pull back and tone it down is basic frugality. Excessive anything is not frugal. I am training my children–and for that matter, my wife and my self–in the finer arts of personal responsibility and frugality. Accumulating debt for a fleeting holiday is insane. If we can’t afford to buy it, we certainly can’t afford to give it. Anything else would be setting a bad example and children learn best by example.
Another piece of the Philosophy of Destitution(when I read this word, I hear a deep, booming voice in my head, like a 30s radio superhero voiceover) is “green”. I consider myself a conservationalist rather than an environmentalist, so don’t read too much into that color. I try to be responsible, instead of destructive and I try to avoid being wasteful. Toys that won’t be played with are wasteful. A garbage can full of packaging for those same toys costs money. It is much cheaper to avoid the landfill here.
Back to “Why”. Why would I be willing to deprive my family?
Ten years ago, I buried myself in debt. There was no catastrophic emergency or long-term unemployment, just a series of bad decisions over the course of years.
We bought a (short) series of new cars, a house full of furniture, electronics, hundreds of books and movies, and so much more. We threw a wedding on credit and financed an addition on our house. We didn’t gamble or drink it away, we just spent indiscriminately. We have a ton of stuff to show for it and a peeling credit card to prove it.
What changed?
In October 2007, we found out brat #3 was on the way. Don’t misunderstand, this was entirely intentional, but our…efficiency caught us by surprise. It took several years to get #2. We weren’t expecting #3 to happen in just a couple of weeks. #2 wasn’t even a year old when we found out she was going to be a big sister. That’s two kids in diapers and three in daycare at the same time.
The technical term for this is “Oh crap”.
I spent weeks poring over our expenses, trying to find a way to make our ends meet, or at least show up in the same zip code occasionally.
I finally made my first responsible financial decision…ever. I quit smoking. At that point, I had been smoking a pack a day or more for almost 15 years. With the latest round of we’re-going-to-raise-the-vice-tax-to-convince-people-to-drop-their-vices-then-panic-when-people-actually-drop-their-because-we-made-them-too-expensive taxes, I was spending at least $60 per week, at least.
Interesting side story: A few years ago, Wisconsin noticed how many Minnesotans were crossing the border for cheap smokes and decided to cash in by raising their cigarette taxes. The out-of-state market immediately dried up. Econ 101.
So I quit, saving $250 per month.
Our expenses grew to consume that money, which we were expecting. (Remember, we were expecting a baby!) Unfortunately, our habits didn’t change. We still bought too much, charged too much on our credit cards, and used our overdraft protection account every month. At 21% interest!
Nothing else changed for another year and a half. My wife would buy stuff I didn’t like and we’d fight about it. I’d buy stuff she didn’t like and we’d fight about it. When we weren’t arguing about it, we’d just silently spend it all as fast as we could.
Bankruptcy was looming. We had $30,000 on our credit cards and our overdraft protection account was almost maxed out. Have you ever thought you’d have to sell your house quickly?
One day, while I was researching bankruptcy attorneys, I ran across Dave Ramsey. When I got to daycare that evening to pick up the kids, I noticed they had The Total Money Makeover on the bookshelf, so I asked to borrow it.
I read the book twice, had a very frank discussion with my wife about the possibility of bankruptcy, and we set out on the path to financial freedom together.
What made you decide to handle your finances responsibly? Or, perhaps more importantly, what’s holding you back?
Frugal cooking can be an intimidating concept. It’s easy to turn a meal into a huge expense, but it’s not that hard to trim your grocery budget without sacrificing variety and flavor. It just takes some planning and a few money-saving techniques. We usually feed our family of five, often with guests, for about $100 per week.
Schedule your meals. Find or make a weekly meal planner. I recommend this or this. Cross out the meals you don’t need to worry about due to your schedule that week. If you won’t be home, you don’t have to cook that meal. Fill in the meals in the remaining slots. Keep your schedule in mind. If you get home from work at 5:30 and have to be somewhere by 6:30, dinner needs to be something quick. Also, make sure you include every side dish you will be serving. Now, look at the recipe for each dish in every meal. Write down everything you need to make all of the food you plan to eat that week. While planning your meals, think about how to use your leftovers. If you cook chicken breasts one day, the leftovers can be chicken nuggets the next.
Take inventory. Take your meal plan and a pen while you look through all of your cabinets and your refrigerator. Why buy what you already have? If you already have steaks in the freezer, don’t waste your money buying more. If you have it, cross it off of your meal plan shopping list. Whatever is left is your shopping list. Review it. Is there anything that can be combined or eliminated? Is there a key ingredient for a sauce that’s missing?
Don’t forget the staples. If flour or sugar is on sale, stock up. Anything you use on a regular basis is a staple, buy it when it’s cheap.
Build a shopping list from your meal plan. When you are in the store, stick to your list. It’s hard, but avoid impulse purchases at all costs. Don’t shop hungry, don’t buy things just because they are on sale, and don’t dawdle. Get what you need and get out.
Avoid pre-processed food. We slice and shred our own cheese. Buying the pre-shredded cheese costs an extra $5 and saves just 5 minutes. Don’t buy pre-sliced apples or anything that will only save a few minutes for several dollars of cost.
Every couple of weeks, I cook a large pot of either beans or rice and keep it in the refrigerator. Almost every meal that we cook gets a cup or two of beans or rice added to it. It doesn’t alter the flavor much, but it adds a few extra servings for pennies. It’s a healthy way to stretch any meal on the cheap.
We have a large bowl in the refrigerator filled with mixed greens. We buy whatever salad-like greens are on sale and prepare the large salad all at once. Most meals start with a salad, which makes it easier to fill up without relying on the protein dish, which is generally the most expensive part of a meal. As a dedicated meat-eater, it took some getting used to, but it’s a good meal–cheap and healthy.
Cook enough for at least 3 meals. That will eliminate 2/3 of the work involved in cooking. Plan ahead to make your meals simple and easy.
Freeze the leftovers in usable sizes. Stock up on semi-disposable meal-sized containers. Freeze some in single-serving sizes for work, and others in family-size servings for last minute meals at home. Preparing for last minute meals keeps you from serving garbage or takeout when life gets in the way of your plans.
Avoid wasting leftovers. Wasted food is wasted money.
When you are done cooking meat, take any drippings or scraps and throw them into the slow-cooker along with any vegetable scraps laying around. Cook it overnight, then strain it into an ice cube tray. You now have stock/broth ready to be added to any recipe.
Plan for serial meals. Chicken breast leftover from today’s meal can become chicken nuggets tomorrow, to be shredded into chicken salad the next day.
When there isn’t enough left for a full serving, we put the remains in a resealable bag in the freezer. When we accumulate enough to fill our slow-cooker, we dump in all of the bags with a couple cups of water. I look through the refrigerator for any leftovers that have been overlooked that week or any vegetables getting close to being too old. It all gets cut up and added to the cooker to cook on low all day. I rarely add seasoning because everything going in the pot tastes good. We never get the same meal twice and our “free soup” is never bland.
That’s how we cook cheap, without sacrificing too much time. How do you save money cooking?
This post is a blast from the past. Originally posted here in January 2010.
On Father’s Day, 3 years ago, my third and final kid was born. My kids are all horrible brats and I love them dearly.
I wouldn’t give up fatherhood for anything. Watching my kids grow and learn, steering their development, and teaching them how to navigate life is the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever been a part of. Also the most frustrating. I can’t imagine being anywhere else, not being with my kids. I have no respect for deadbeat parents.
I am incredibly grateful that I had a proper model for manhood and fatherhood. My dad taught me the concepts of honor, integrity, and responsibility. I couldn’t be the man I am now, if he wasn’t the man he is. Thanks, Dad.
Sometimes, the coolest things in the world are the things most likely to kill you. Call me crazy, but I’d happily strap a 1200 cc propeller to my crotch and find out what 10,000 feet looks like.
Via Budgeting In The Fun Stuff, Super Frugalette reminds us that, when there’s a significant amount of money involved, spending a few hundred dollars on an attorney isn’t wasteful.
Fivecentnickel discuss multi-level marketing. It doesn’t matter which company you are in, if your downline is more important that your product, it’s a bad business model.
Keith Ferrazzi shows us how to improve our body language when it really matters.
When I started driving, I tossed my car in a ditch going way too fast. Naturally, it was my parents’ fault for giving me the curfew I was trying to beat. They never would have bought it if I would have told them I was driving like my grandma and it jumped into the trees by itself. Why does the FBI think that’s believable? Corruption, maybe?
Financial Samurai talks about living a life without regrets, which is a personal goal of mine.
Food storage will become critical when the zombies come.
Beer is good. Even the cave-men thought so.
Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled
3 Ways to Keep Your Finances Organized was an Editor’s Pick in this week’s Festival of Frugality. Thanks!
5 Reasons Your Wealth Isn’t Growing was included in this week’s Carnival of Personal Finance.
Money Problems: Insurance was included in the Totally Money Blog Carnival.
Unlicense Health Insurance was included in last week’s Carnival of Personal Finance.
Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.
Last week, the Yakezie shared what they would do with a single financial do-over.
– Melissa from Mom’s Plans shares her biggest financial mistake at Barbara Friedberg Personal Finance: Opening an eBay Store and Using Credit. It is a great story about how not to grow your business and how competing priorities can pose a real challenge.
– Budgeting in the Fun Stuff shares her biggest financial mistake and potential do-over at Super Frugalette: Investing in a Friend’s Business. Its a good, but costly lesson learned about small business.
– Eric from Narrow Bridge Finance shares how He Wouldn’t Have Paid Down His Student Loans So Fast at The Saved Quarter. This may seem counter-intuitive, but he has some good points. Check it out.
– Mr. S from Broke Professionals shares how He Wouldn’t Have Bought a New Car at My Personal Finance Journey. This has some great analysis, especially considering the new car was a hybrid!
– The College Investor posted at Wealth Informatics: What you should know when you are investing?
– Wealth Informatics posted here: If you had one financial do-over, what would it be and why?
– Barbara Friedberg shares how She Was Scammed at Mom’s Plans. You have to watch out for the hard sell!
– Joe at Retireby40 tells us about How He Invested his 401(k) in Company Stock right before the dot com crash, at Financially Consumed. A financial adviser may have helped avoid this one!
– Financially Consumed shares his Car Purchase Do-Over And Over at Retireby40. Car addicts have it tough!
– LaTisha from FSYA shares her do-over story in It’s Never Too Late at Little House in the Valley. Sometimes the do-over is quicker and more painless than most.
– Little House yell’s Do-Over! Do-Over! at FSYA Online. It looks at the road to saving more, starting on an elementary school playground!
– The Single Saver asks, What Are The Long Term Consequences of Small Purchases at Totally Money. A cool post on how past purchases cost future returns!
– Miss Moneypenniless from Totally Money shares her story of Vacationing to the Brink of Bankruptcy. Sometimes a vacation can be fun, but the bills afterward may be daunting.
– Super Frugalette shares How a Lawyer Could Have Saved Her $24,700 at Budgeting in the Fun Stuff. Maybe lawyers are worth it sometimes?
– Jason from Live Real, Now shares how he Amassed $90,000 of Debt at Debt Eye. A good lesson in living a little more frugally.
– Kevin from Debteye shares his do-over: Not Buying a House Right Out of College at Live Real, Now. I have said it before that buying a house can be challenging right out of college.
– Penny from The Saved Quarter shares how She Would Have Finished College Before Having Kids at Narrow Bridge Finance. An awesome story that has will soon have a happy ending!
– Jacob from My Personal Finance Journey shares how he was Scammed on eBay at Broke Professionals. An important lesson for anyone selling or buying online.
– Marissa from Thirty-Six Months shares how she Accumulated a Ton of Student Loan Debt at So Over Debt. If you are going to live the life, you’re going to pay the price!
– Andrea from So Over Debt shares How She Would Have Started Saving for Retirementat Thirty-Six Months. I would love to read a post on each of the stories you mentioned getting to where you are now!
– Below Your Means shares his story about A Missed Investment Opportunity. There are so many times I wish I could have gone back and bought a stock!
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Today, it is my please to host the 287th Festival of Frugality, the Independence Day Edition. Yesterday, was Independence Day in the US. It’s the day we celebrate throwing off the yolk of high-tax, no-rights tyranny and blowing stuff up.
That’s not what this Festival is about. As much as I love this country and enjoyed celebrating, today, the theme is the Independence Day movie.
Coolest ID4 fact, ever: A promotional piece that aired in Spain for this film set off a “War of the Worlds” type of wide spread panic. The promo featured a popular Spanish news anchor and the piece ran as if there really WAS an alien attack to occur on July 4.
The explosion of the Welcome Wagon Helicopters was actually footage of a pyrotechnics accident on set.
Miss T. gives us Seven Reasons to Avoid Penny Auction Sites. She does a great job of explaining the evil that is Penny Auctions, from outright fraud to the rip-off that is the basic business model. Some of these sites make $5000 or more on an iPad auction. They don’t even have to carry an inventory before running an auction.
Independence Day holds the record for most miniature model-work. It beat the previous record by double.
Philip submits Turn Wasted Extra Money Into a Debt Payment. I have a friend who is positive he can’t reduce his monthly expenses at all, while eating out almost every day.
The alien ship “miniature” was 65 feet across.
Boomer presents Financial Support For Your Adult Children. I love my parents. A lot. I couldn’t imagine moving back in with them, and I’m pretty sure they’d feel the same way soon enough. Although, Mom, if you’re reading this, can I have an allowance again?
This was the highest grossing film in 1996.
Suba presents Why you should not use 401k. I’ve never questioned the wisdom of maxing out a 401k. It’s good to see those assumptions challenged and the numbers crunched.
President Whitmore: Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. Mankind, that word should have new meaning to all of us. We cannot be consumed by our petty differences anymore. Perhaps it is fate that today is the fourth of July, and we will once again be fighting for our freedom. But not for freedom from tyrrany or oppression or persecution. We’re fighting for our right to live, to exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world stood up and declared in one voice that we will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!
FMF presents Save Money on Groceries by Shopping on Wednesday posted at Free Money Finance.
Harri Pierce presents Have a second hand summer posted at TotallyMoney.
Daniel presents Top 10 Reasons to Shop Online vs. Shopping In-Store posted at Sweating The Big Stuff.
President Whitmore: It’s a fine line between standing behind a principle and hiding behind one.
Philip Taylor presents The Best Time to Buy posted at PT Money Personal Finance.
Outlaw presents Pay Yourself First and Have Money in the Bank posted at Outlaw Finance.
Crystal presents Frugal Tips for the Pet Dog posted at Budgeting in the Fun Stuff.
Matt presents The Price of Water posted at Stupid Cents.
That’s right! That’s what you get! Look at you! Ship all banged up! Who’s the man? Who’s the man?! Wait until I get another plane! I am going to line up all your friends right beside you! ~ Captain Steven Hiller
Alan presents The Cost of Online Gaming: Free to Play posted at Canadian Finance Blog.
Paula @ AffordAnything.org presents Diets and Debt: Managing Money and Your Weight posted at AffordAnything.org.
Kay Lynn presents Summer Fun for the Frugal Family posted at Bucksome Boomer.
Jacob @ My Personal Finance Journey presents Top 10 Money Saving Tips posted at My Personal Finance Journey.
Glen Craig presents The Cost of Clutter on Your Finances and Life posted at Free From Broke.
Eddie presents 55 Suggestions To Save $1000 posted at Finance Fox.
Darwin presents Are You Better Off Than Your Parents? posted at Darwin’s Money.
Sustainable PF presents Sustainability Tip #179: Loose Cap Lose Gas posted at Sustainable Personal Finance.
WHOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Elvis has left the building! ~ Captain Steven Hiller
I hope you enjoyed the carnival. Please take a moment to subscribe to Live Real, Now.