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Family Bed: How to Make It Stop

For years, my kids shared my bed.

When my oldest was a baby, I was working a graveyard shift, so my wife was alone with the baby at night. It was easy to keep a couple of bottles in a cooler by the bed and not have to get out of bed to take care of him when he woke up once an hour to drink a full bottle.

Then he got older. And bigger. And bigger.

We tried to move him to his own bed a few times, but it never worked well. He’d scream if we put him in a crib, so we got him a bed at 9 months old. That just meant he was free to join us whenever he woke up. Brat.

We finally got him to voluntarily move to his own bed after his sister was born. Shortly after she was born, I woke up to see him using her as a pillow. To paint the proper picture, this kid is 5’9″ and wears size 12 shoes. At 11. When I woke him up to tell him what he was doing, he decided to sleep in his own bed.

Method #1 to get your kids in their own bed: Have kid 1 try to crush kid 2 and feel bad about it.

Method #1 isn’t a great solution.

Soon, baby #3 showed up and we had 2 monsters in bed with us again. Once they started getting bigger, it became difficult for the 4 of us to sleep. We tried to get them into their own beds. Unfortunately, even as toddlers, my kids had a stubborn streak almost as big as my own. Nothing worked.

Eventually, they got big enough that I was crowded right out of the bed. At least we had a comfortable couch.

Sleeping on a couch gets old.

When the girls got old enough to reason with, we had a choice: We either had to find a way to convince them they wanted to sleep in their own room, or we had to have a fourth brat for them to attempt to crush at night.

We went with bribery. Outright, blatant bribery.

We put a chart on the wall with each of their names and 7 boxes. Every night they slept in their own beds, they got to check a box. When all of the boxes were checked, they got $5 and a trip to the toy store.

It took 10 days to empty our bed and it’s been peaceful sleeping since. That’s $5 well-spent.

Have you done a family bed? How did it work? How long did it last?

Sunday Roundup

Misc

My girls have been riding in horse shows lately. Sometimes, it seems like that’s all we’ve been doing on the weekends, but they love it. My wife’s favorite hobby now matches my daughters’ favorite pastime. As a bonus, we’ll never have to paint their room again, with the way they are accumulating ribbons.

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It is possible to be entirely too connected.

My life is now complete. It’s possible to buy 95 pounds of cereal marshmallows for just $399. Breakfast at my house just got perfect.

I wholeheartedly agree with Tam, “You don’t need to make any excuses for crashing things into each other at the speed of light in an underground tunnel longer than Manhattan that’s had the air pumped out and been chilled to a couple degrees above absolute zero. That doesn’t need a reason. “

Carnivals I’ve Rocked

Credit Cards: My Failed Experiment was included in the Best of Money Carnival, the Carnival of Wealth, and the Totally Money Blog Carnival.

My niche site article on how to Make Extra Money with Keyword Research was included in the Totally Money Blog Carnival.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

4 Ways to Change Your Life for the Better

Life, Parenting, Relationships

Everybody has bad days. Everybody has horrible days. That doesn’t matter. The important thing is how you feel about your life as a whole. What can you do to make your life more worth living?

1. Get out of debt. When you’ve got no debt to pay, you have more options and less risk. If you’re paying $1500 just to service your debt, it will be $1500 harder if you lose your job. If you’ve got no debt payments to make, the impact of losing an income stream is far less. On top of that, you’ll have that much more money to do the things you love every month.

2. Find something you love to do…and do it. Everybody has to do things they hate. For some, it’s cleaning up the cat’s litter box, for others, they die inside a little each time they punch a time clock. Life isn’t all puppy dogs and ice cream, but it’s important to have a little ice cream in your life. What do you love doing? Is there anything you love that you can start doing? Start a business, write a book, volunteer for a charity that matches your values, or grow the world’s largest pumpkin. Whatever it is, it’s time to get started.

3. Eliminate the things you hate. Life’s too short to live with the things you hate. If something is destroying the value of your life, get rid of it. Now, I’m not suggesting you off your mother-in-law, but it may be worth ignoring the phone when her number shows up on the caller ID and skipping Sunday dinner with her. If you hate your job, find another. If you can’t find a way to eliminate what you hate, embrace it and learn to love it, or you will eventually hate more of your life than just the bit driving you crazy.

4. Let the ones you love know you do. Do your children know you love them? Does your spouse? Are you sure? If a meteor fell on your head today, would your kids spend the rest of their lives wondering how you felt? If your wife were in a car accident today, would there be anything you wish you would have said? Now, today, this morning, this second is the right time to let your loved ones know you care. Don’t wait. If you haven’t made it a habit, it may feel awkward. Get over it. Your wife and kids will love you more knowing beyond doubt that you love them. A tight bond with your family can’t be bought, it can’t be bribed, and it can’t be faked. It is worth everything.

What’s one thing you could do today to make your life better?

The Virtues of Preparation

Life, Parenting

Rainbow striped toe socks worn with thong sandals — Image via Wikipedia

The first day of school caught me by surprise yesterday.

I knew it was coming, and we had almost all of the stuff we need in the brat’s backpack, but we weren’t ready for it.

Yesterday morning, we woke up. Brat #3 was uncooperative, to say the least, so I wasn’t playing my ‘A’ game. I woke up Brat #1 and sent him on his way to get changed and eat breakfast. Ten minutes later, I chased him off of the couch to go get changed and eat breakfast. He had forgotten that his school day starts at 7:30, now.

He ate and grabbed his backpack to leave. I sent him to his room to change.

He changed and grabbed his backpack to leave. I sent him to his room for socks.

He put on socks and grabbed his backpack to leave. Then he realized his shoes weren’t by the door.

Shoe hunt!

I got him out of the door, only to see his face again a minute later when he realized he had forgotten something else.

Please remember that Brat #3 was acting up the entire time.

During the course of this, I was trying to make my lunch, which spent the day sitting on my kitchen counter. I was dressing myself; I don’t know how many times I made it to the front door, only to realize I hadn’t put on socks, yet. Or pants, for that matter.

What could have gone better?

Preparation.

On Monday, the day we all had off, with no plans, we should have set our alarms and done a dry run, right up to the point of walking out of the door. Here’s how Monday should have gone:

All the school and daycare stuff should have been ready to go the night before.
I get up, have breakfast, then wake Brat #1.
He gets up and has breakfast, while I dress Brats #2 & 3.
Brat #1 gets dressed while I help the girls with their shoes and jackets.
Brat #1 throws on shoes and heads out the door while I strap the girls into the car.
Everybody’s happy.

That’s the well-oiled machine I would like to see in the morning. Am I dreaming? How do you handle your morning routine efficiently?

Inadvertent BOGO

Finance

I refuse to buy my kid more expensive video game systems. He’s got a friend who’s got one of each, going back 15 years.

We don’t do that, so he’s spent the last 6 months saving to buy his own XBox 360. After his birthday this month, he finally had enough, so we ordered it a few days ago.

Wednesday was the Great Unboxing.

I was making dinner in the kitchen while the punk and his friend unpacked the box from Amazon.

The squeals were normal. The shouts of “Dad, why did you buy two XBoxes?” were a surprise.

Two?

No.

Actually, yes. There were two of the things in the box. Did I order two? Did I accidentally pay for two?

Nope. The packing slip only listed one, my order history only showed one, and my credit card was only charged for one.

Yet, there were two in the box. Free XBox! Woot!

That means an XBox in the bedroom for Grand Theft Auto and Red Dead Redemption, and an XBox in the basement for Madden and Star Wars. No fighting. No turns to take. And it didn’t cost us an extra $200.

That’s all win.

If there’s nothing on the packing slip, then Amazon didn’t know I had it. Even if they did, I didn’t do anything to make them send it. There was no fraud. Legally, I had no obligation of any kind to do anything other than enjoy my new prize.

Lots of win.

The kids were excited. Everyone gets a turn. Multiplayer games.

The parents were excited. We get a turn. M-rated games.

So much freaking win in that box.

But….

There’s always a but.

We didn’t order it. We didn’t pay for it. It wasn’t ours.

A friend told me to sell it. She knows how hard we’re working to pay off debt.

A coworker said, “Screw them. They’re just a big corporation who’d be happy to screw you first.”

But it wasn’t ours.

I spent 12 hours trying to rationalize a way to keep it that wouldn’t be unethical, make me feel guilty, or–most important–send a horrible message to my kids.

I couldn’t do it.

It wasn’t ours.

I had a talk with my son. It was his money that got this little prize into our house, after all. He wanted to keep it, naturally. He’s got a lot to learn about persuasion. He acknowledged that sending it back was the right thing to do. He agreed that it would suck if the roles were reversed. His only argument in favor of keeping it was “I want it.”

Even he admitted that was completely lame.

It’s going back. I let him think that was his decision.

I talked to Amazon. They apologized for the inconvenience and gave me a UPS label to send it back at no cost. It didn’t cover pickup, but I’ve got a drop box in my office building, so I can deal with that.

My wife was pissed. The customer service rep never bothered to say thank you. She called Amazon to complain to a manager. After reminding him that we had no duty to return the free XBox, he gave us a $25 gift card to say thank you.

I love my wife.

My son, for deciding to to the right thing, gets to spend the gift card. My wife, for being awesome, gets to be with me. I miss my free XBox.

What would you do? Would you keep the free XBox, sell it, or send it back?

2012: The Year the World Ended

Finance, Life, Relationships

December 21st marks the day that Mayan calendar-makers decided was far longer than they needed to waste their time carving

English: Mayan calendar created by a modern cr... — Image via Wikipedia

days into stone.

More importantly, it marks the beginning of the week before my birthday. No self-respecting civilization would end the world just a week before my birthday.

This is traditionally the time that people look back at the previous year, and make resolutions they don’t intend to keep in the following year.

Who am I to buck tradition?

In 2011, I became a bit of a workaholic.

This site has taken off a bit. I’m not about to retire off of the proceeds, but it has turned into a nice little side income. Thank you for that.

I launched a marketing company. We do web design/development, social media work, and search engine marketing. It’s strictly a part-time gig right now, but it’s growing and taking up most of my free evenings and weekends.

I’ve been working 50-60 hours a week at my day job.

The plus side? I’ve also paid off almost $20,000 of my debt in 2011, bringing my total to $47,535 left.

It’s been a lot of work, but the harder I hustle, the sooner I can stop hustling.

What’s in store for 2012?

On the work front, I plan to cut my weekly load down to 40-45 hours again. Life it to short to work all of the time.

I want to expand my new company to the point that my day job is optional. I’m projecting that by spring. Call it June 1st.

Here, I want to double the size of my audience. I don’t just want random people popping in, I want to grow an engaged audience. That means more comments and more discussion. Expect to see more along those lines.

I’ve also got a couple of products under development. By year-end, I’d like to have them both released.

On a personal level, my biggest goal is to carve out a regular chunk of time to spend with my wife. Working all of the time has cut into our quality time together. I want to find a way to schedule date nights at least twice a month. It will cost more money, but that’s part of why I’m working so much.

Financially, I want to kill the last of my credit card debt. That’s down to about $17,000. We’ll need to keep working at it, but it’s a reachable goal. That means we still don’t get cable, I still avoid buying books every week, and my kids still have to live with not getting every whim fulfilled.

To recap: I’m going to work smarter, grow my side projects, and make this site better for you. In the process, I’m going to kill the last of my unsecured debt, and drag my mortgage down to it’s last gasping breaths.

Here’s to the end of the world….

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