- @fcn Yahoo Pipes into GReader. 50 news sites filtered to max 50 items/day–all on topic. in reply to fcn #
- @fcn You can filter on keywords, so only the topics you care about come through. in reply to fcn #
- It's a sad day when you find out that your 3 year old can access anything in the house. Sadder when she maces herself with hairspray. #
- 5 sets of 15 pushups to start my day. Only 85 to go! Last 5 weren't as good as first 5. #30DayProject #
- What happens to your leftover money in your flex-spending account? http://su.pr/9xDs6q #
- Enter to Win iPod Touch from @DoughRoller http://tinyurl.com/y8rpyns #DRiPodTouch #
- Arrrgh! 3 year old covered in nail polish. And clothes. And carpet. And sister. #
- Crap. 5 sets of 5 pushups. #30dayproject #
- Woo! My son just got his first pin in a wrestling meet! #
- RT @Doughroller: Check out this site that gives your free credit report AND score without asking for a cc# or social… http://bit.ly/bRhlMz #
- Breaking news! Penicillin cures syphilis, not debt. https://liverealnow.net/KIzE #
- Win a $25 Amazon GC via @suburbandollar RT + Fllw to enter #sd1Yrgvwy Rules -> http://bit.ly/sd1Yrgvwy2 #
- This won't be coming to our house. RT @FMFblog: Wow! Check out the new Monopoly: http://tinyurl.com/ygf2say #
- @ChristianPF is giving away a Flip UltraHD Camcorder – RT to enter to win… http://su.pr/2ZvBZL #
Human Interaction
Life may be like a box of chocolates, but it is certainly not a game of Sorry, where one person wins at the expense of all others. It is entirely possible for everyone to win in most voluntary interactions.
For example, if my company gives me a $10,000 raise, it would seem like I win and they lose. I’m getting more money, at the expense of their bottom line, right? Maybe. But what if that raise spurs me on to make an extra $100,000 for the company? That makes it a good investment and a Win/Win scenario.
When I’m dealing with one of my side-business customers or an advertiser, I’m definitely pushing for the Win/Win. Of course I want them to pay me as much as possible, but I also want their repeat business, which won’t happen unless they walk away happy. If I insisted that each of my customers pay the absolute top dollar, I may come out ahead in the short-term, but what about next month or next year? It’s much better for both of us if we can find a happy middle ground.
The four basic forms of interaction are:
1. Win/Lose. This is where I win and you lose. Haha! The problem with a Win/Lose is that the loser isn’t going to come back to play next year. He’s not happy and he’ll probably tell his friends how unhappy he is. This is also the interaction that people are mistakenly assuming when they complain about excessive executive interaction. The CEO is making a million dollars while the folks on the assembly line are stuck with $15 per hour? It’s entirely possible that, if the CEO weren’t doing his job, nobody else would have one. That is, like it or not, Win/Win.
2. Lose/Win. This is where I give up everything, hoping you’ll eventually throw me a bone. It’s a cowardly interaction that won’t work well when dealing with someone playing #1. I’ll keep giving, you’ll keep taking. You go home happy, I go home sore. When it’s done, I won’t do business with you ever again.
3. Lose/Lose. Nobody wins. We fight so hard to get what we want, forcing the other side to give up as much as possible, while they are doing the same. At the end of the day, the hatred is flowing so strong, there’s no possibility of a relationship.
4. Win/Win. Yay! Everybody wins! Everybody’s happy! This will involve some compromise, but hopefully we can reach the happy middle ground where we are both smiling. If I’m looking for a deal that involves you paying me $1000 per month, is it better for me to push to get exactly that, or let myself get talked down to $750? If the $1000 is more than you can afford, so you quit with hard feelings after one month, the ongoing $750 is much, much better for both of us. It is actually in my greedy self-interest to give up that 25% to build our relationship.
Winning doesn’t have to be done at the expense of others. If you do it right, we all win.
The Story of Sammy
As I’ve mentioned, we’re cleaning out my mother-in-law’s house. She was a hoarder who passed away a couple of months ago. As of yesterday, we’ve filled two 30-yard dumpsters. For perspective, that’s big enough to park our F150.
I’m not here to talk about that, or the 20 year old can of green beans that burst and ran down my leg on Saturday.
Last month, we put a recliner out on the curb with a free sign. A few minutes later, a couple of guys stopped by and grabbed it.
Last week, one of the guys–I’ll call him Sammy–stopped by and left a note on the windshield of one of our inherited cars, asking about buying it.
Long story short, we sold him two cars. One hadn’t been run in a year or two, and one had been parked for almost 20 years. We signed this titles and let him take the cars while he was still $50 short of the purchase price. This isn’t a story about the cars.
It’s a story about Sammy.
Sammy doesn’t have a lot of money. He’s living off of a monthly check from an old injury, and his fiancee works part-time. They’re living in Section 8 housing, and consistently have more month than money. When he was younger, he made some decisions that make some forms of employment difficult now.
On Friday, Sammy stopped by. He was supposed to give us $50, but said that getting one of the cars running had cost more than expected, and it still had a problem that was keeping it from being safe on the road. He asked about an extension.
No problem.
Then, he looked around my mother-in-law’s overgrown yard and asked if he could help. After we negotiated the price, he asked if he could a) borrow our tools for the work, and b) get a ride Saturday morning.
I am a nice guy.
Saturday, I was planning to pick him up, then drive downtown to pick up a friend who has been living at the Salvation Army since moving to the area. His friend was so excited about the work, he hopped on a bus at 6am and got to Sammy’s house.
When I got there, Sammy also had a teenager he was mentoring. He told me that his dream was to start a lawn-care business with his friend, so they can put kids to work and help them turn into productive citizens. Idle, broke, and bored teenagers are a recipe for disaster. Teenagers who grow into men not believing they have a chance to change their future are worse.
I dropped them off and went to have a chat with my wife.
We’re far from rich but, at the moment, we are fairly flush. We’ve found some cash, and a there is a bit of life insurance money. Most of that will be going into remodeling the house, but we have a bit extra. If we can take a few hundred dollars, and help launch Sammy into a business that will help him, his family, and a circle of kids with few prospects, I think it’s the right thing to do.
When I told Sammy what we were considering, he started to break down. It was a truly emotional experience for him to know that somebody was willing to take a chance on him.
I told him to put together plan. I want to know what it would take for him to get started. Hopefully, he’s serious enough to do that. I’d like to help.
Monica Wright Gets Engaged: How Much Ring is Too Much?
It’s love in the land of basketball. If you are a true basketball fan, then you have already heard of the recent engagement of NBA star Kevin Durant of the Oklahoma City Thunder and the WNBA star Monica Wright of the Minnesota Lynx. These star basketball professionals have known each other for years, according to recent press reports. The newly-engaged couple has not decided on a wedding date yet, but everyone who is in the world of celebrity basketball knows that the Durant-Wright wedding is going to be one of the top 2014 weddings.
Mums the word on a lot of the details, and that may be because Durant and Wright are trying to adjust to a time of engagement and are trying to let the excitement of this season soak in a little before going full force into wedding planning. Certainly, their busy game and workout schedules are going to keep them busy and make it difficult to plan a wedding. An engagement period should be a time of relaxing with your loved one and celebrating with family and friends through engagement parties. Durant and Wright are sure to have an all-star line up at both their nuptial celebration parties and their actual wedding, but before they get to the big plans, can we please talk about that ring on her finger?
No one has written about Monica Wright’s ring, and there are few details about how large it is. But from photos, it looks huge. Monica Wright has gorgeous hands, and that massive diamond looks great on her slender basketball woman hands. However, we have to ask celebrities: How much ring really is way too much? Celebrities have money to spend, but it a culture that promotes materialism while most of the country struggles to pay for food and to just get by, can’t big-time stars like Durant and Wright make the decision to make a different kind of statement. Cannot there be a celebrity out there who chooses a small diamond, or better yet, a simple band for an engagement ring? Cannot celebrities put there money into projects and people who really need that money? Does every engagement ring have to be dripping with expensive diamonds?
No one is doubting that Monica Wright is beautiful and talented. No one is doubting that Kevin Durant and Monica Wright together can use their money to help those in need. But they also can make a difficult decision to have a different kind of celebrity wedding and engagement ring. I personally would like to see positive role models like Kevin Durant and Monica Wright take a stand for those who are in need through the unconventional way they approach their upcoming nuptials. Who says that a beautiful wedding and engagement ring has to be worth millions of dollars? It is time for celebrities to think through these issues before they start writing endless checks for extravagant affairs. Congrats to the couple!
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Scamming Disaster Victims
As we leave flooding season here in Minnesota, it’s important to remember that there are low-lifes who don’t mind preying on people when they are at their weakest and most vulnerable. That’s true in many situations, but the one I’m talking about specifically is the post-disaster scam.
The most prevalent is probably the home-repair con. If you have damage to your home from a disaster, be prepared to have people knocking on your door offering to fix your house. We had a nasty hail storm a couple of years ago and were plagued with contractors for months. Most of these were not con-men, but it is a safe bet that some were. There are two basic home-repair cons after a disaster.
The first is to over-promise and under-deliver. These people may just be inexperienced, but if someone claims to be able to replace your roof, your siding, and your deck for half of what anyone else is offering, run. The solution is to get multiple quotes and to check licenses and references. Then, get a written estimate. No reputable company will complain about any of that. If it feels to good to be true, it probably is.
The second common home-repair scam is to take your money and run. Most big contracting companies want to deal with your insurance company directly. That’s because they know they can pad the labor costs and add a mark-up to materials. Some just want to get the insurance money and run. Either way, I insist on dealing with the insurance company myself, so I can pay the contractor when the work is finished to my satisfaction.
Another common scam is the advance-fee loan con. This is perpetrated by scum preying on those people unfortunate, unlucky, or unwise enough to not have insurance to cover disaster damage. They will promise below-market interest rates, fast closing, and no credit check. All you have to do is give them a large down payment to seal the deal and they will “guarantee” the loan. In my world, guarantee does not refer to the art of leaving the state with someone else’s money, but that’s how this scam ends. Once again, don’t fall for “dream deals”. Never give money to a company you haven’t verified is legitimate and never(ever, ever, ever) give money or personal information to a stranger over the phone. If you didn’t initiate the contact and verify the company, don’t do business with them.
The third major con attacks the generous nature of most people when faced with another’s hardship. The charity con. Donating money to help people in need is an honorably act. Please make sure that you are donating to an actual charity, not a scam artist with a credit-card machine. If you didn’t initiate the contact, hang up and verify the charity is legitimate, then call back and donate money on your own. You can verify a charity’s status by contacting your state government, usually the Attorney General’s office.
As always, you are in charge of your safety and security, both financial and otherwise. Don’t let yourself be scammed.
A Look Back
I’m on vacation this week and thought it would be nice to post a look back at some of my early posts. These posts are some of my favorites, but were written when there were only 3 or 4 of you paying attention.
Since I know you don’t want to miss anything, here are 5 of my favorite early posts, in no particular order:
1. Cthulhu’s Guide to Finance. I’m more than a bit of a horror geek. Books, movies, or games; all keep me entertained. Over the weekend, I taught my Mom how to play Zombie Fluxx and Gloom. When Cthulhu approached me about writing a guest post, I couldn’t refuse.
2. Birthday Parties Are Evil. It’s hard to remember to be cheap when your little girl is asking for a bowling party. It can run $200 to get a dozen kids an hour of bowling and a bit of pizza.
3. No Brakes. This is a post about why I had a hard time coming to grips with financial responsibility.
4. 4 Ways to Flog the Inner Impulse Shopper. Who can’t love a BDSM-themed personal finance post? Every blog needs a dominatrix mascot, right?
5. Fighting Evil by Phone. In which I share the method of convincing Big Nasty Telephone Company and their Contracted, Soulless Long Distance Provider to leave me the heck alone and stop demanding $800 they refused to admit was their mistake.
