This is a conversation between me and my future self, if my financial path wouldn’t have positively forked 2 years ago. The transcript is available here.
What would your future self have to say to you?
A Brighter Future: 3 Simple Things Parents Can Do to Make a Difference
[Editor: This is a guest post from my good friend Terra. I’ve know her for–jeez, really–20 years. If you’re looking for a staff writer, hit her up. Seriously. She’s good people.]
Who doesn’t want a brighter future for their child? Book store shelves overflow with parenting advice tomes and how-to guides to make “uber-kids”. Eager parents lap up promises to raise their children’s I.Q., increase their chances to get into college, and improve their social skills.
From books to apps to specialized software, there is a dizzying number of products available to help your child grow into the genius you know he or she is.
But what if I told you that the secrets to increasing your child’s likelihood to succeed in life were absolutely free. Simple things you have complete control over. No batteries or special upgrades required. No matter your income, education level, or what country you live in, these deceptively simple tips offer powerful results.
- Make Mealtimes Sacred
Food connects people. From the dawn of time, our species has gathered around the fire, to break bread and share our stories.
In modern times, our schedule can be crazy (between work, social activities, and, you know, life) so having dinner on the table at 6 o’clock every night is not always possible. However, studies consistently show that having a family meal at least 3 times a week has huge benefits for children (from teenagers being less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, to increased academic success, to reduced risk of developing eating disorders or becoming obese, the implications are impressive). And it doesn’t have to be dinner, any meal will work. Consistency is the key.
Far from being boring, children find the predictable routine of family meals reassuring, promoting warm, fuzzy feelings of closeness and comfort (though teenagers will never admit it). Whether it’s take-out or made from scratch goodness, nothing says “I care about you” like sharing a meal.
Quality matters here, so remove distractions during meal time (turn off the TV, ban phones) and focus on each other. Take this time to reconnect and talk about your day and ask the kids about theirs. Make this time sacred. It matters that much.
- Hug Frequently
“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” – Virginia Satir, psychotherapist
Receiving a loving hug feels wonderful. But beyond feeling “nice”, hugs literally have the power to heal us and improve our lives.
Hugs have superpowers. A hug has the power to release a “happiness hormone cocktail” of oxytocin (natural antidepressant, promotes feelings of devotion, trust and bonding), dopamine (intense pleasure), and serotonin (elevates mood, negates pain and sadness) in both the giver and receiver. Bonus, hugs are naturally gluten-free, organic, and have no unpleasant side effects.
To get the most benefits, prolonged hugging is recommended, around 20 seconds. A full-body hug stimulates your nervous system while decreasing feelings of loneliness, combating fear, increasing self-esteem, defusing tension, and showing appreciation. However, this hug fest only works its magic if you’re hugging someone you trust. Since children love to be held and cuddled, this is ideal for family bonding. Not so much with that new client you just landed (awkward…).
How does hugging effect children specifically? Children who aren’t hugged have delays in walking, talking, and reading. Hugging boosts self-esteem; from the time we’re born our family’s touch shows us that we’re loved and special. All of those cuddles we give to our children are imprinted on them at a cellular level and will still be imbedded in their nervous system as adults. Hugs today equal the ability to self-love as adults. That’s an awesome gift.
- Create a Home Library
We all know how important reading aloud to children is, from infants to teenagers. Reading is one of the most important factors affecting the development of a child’s brain. But reading skills are not hardwired into us; we don’t pop out of the womb quoting “Pride and Prejudice”. Reading skills need to be taught and encouraged.
Parents are a child’s first, and most important, teachers. While children can learn from flashcards and workbooks, nothing is more powerful than seeing your passion for reading. Whether you like it or not, your children are learning from your every move. What you find important, they will find important. No pressure! Teaching reading to your child requires attention, focus, and motivation. It also requires access to books, lots and lots of books.
Libraries are a great resource for developing a love of reading in your child. Most have a thoughtfully arranged children’s area offering story-time and other enrichment opportunities. However, nothing beats having a book to call your own, to hold and cherish, until the edges are worn with love.
Having a well-stocked home library, it turns out, matters. A lot. This study found that having a 500-book library was equivalent to having university-educated parents in terms of increasing the level of education their children will attain. That’s pretty powerful. It doesn’t matter if your family is rich or poor, from North America or Asia, if your parents are illiterate or college-educated, what matters is that you have books in your home.
Don’t’ have the space for 500 books? No worries. Having as few as 20 books in the home still has a significant impact on propelling a child to a higher level of education, and the more books you add, the greater the benefit.
Having a variety of books available makes a difference; especially important are reference books, with history and science texts having the greatest benefit.
No money for books? No Excuse! Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library is a great resource for free, high-quality children’s books. When you sign up, your child is mailed a new book each month until the age of five, addressed to them (a very special thing indeed).
I hope these tips empower you to take action. Small changes can have a big impact on your child’s future. Just remember, it’s not the money you make or the tutor you’ve hired or the new app you’ve installed that will catapult your baby Einstein ahead in life. It’s the quiet moments with you at home, eating, hugging, and reading that will carry them through whatever life brings their way.
Are these things you would like to focus on in your family? Do you have simple parenting tips that have made a difference in your child’s life?
Is Your Budget Doing More Harm Than Good?
Do you stress over your money?
Is your spouse under the impression that you are constantly fighting over money?
Are you constantly fighting over money?
Have you completely eliminated your quality of life?
Do you spend hours each week analyzing where your money has gone?
A total budget can have a negative effect on the other parts of your life. If your spouse isn’t 100% on board, maybe he/she needs some “blow money” that doesn’t need to be tracked. If you aren’t spending enough time with your children because you are tracking expenses and adjusting your budget every day, you need to automate something, or at least loosen your standards. Maybe tracking every penny isn’t the right method of budgeting for you.
Don’t let the perfect budget destroy the rest of your life. If money is still a fight, you’re going to need to compromise on something, now, or you’ll end up compromising with the help of a divorce attorney.
Don’t forget, you are living now, not in the future. Plan for the future, but live in the present. There is a balance there, somewhere. Find it, or you and your loved ones won’t be happy.
Update: This post has been included in the Money Hacks Carnival.
Jules Bianchi – Is a high-risk career worth the money?
The violent crash at the Japanese Grand Prix calls into question whether the life of a racing driver is worth the money. These men are paid handsomely for their efforts, but they could die at any minute on the track. It is best for people to remember what it is like to do this job, but it is also wise for people to think about what it means to the driver who do this job.
The Risk
The risk in F1 is high, and Jules Bianchi saw that firsthand when he was injured so badly that he had to be rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery for head injuries. His crash was so violent that is stopped the race. People crash all the time, but this crash stopped the race. Bianchi is no doubt a millionaire, but people would wonder why he would risk it all just to drive a car quickly.
Every one of the drivers on the circuit does not have an imagination. People like Bianchi or Schumacher or Alonso or Vettel do not think for a second about what could happen when they crash. These men only think about winning races. They only think about doing their best. They know the risks, but they do not sit around thinking about it.
The Pay
F1 drivers are paid extremely well, and they participate in the most glamorous sport in the world. They do something that is more difficult than any other sport, and it is difficult, but they live the lives of rock stars. They know this fame will be short-lived, but they drive regardless.
Jules Bianchi knew the risks when he got in the car. He is being paid extremely well to do his job, and it is worth it to him. People around the world may not have the bravery or raw talent to become a great driver, but he does. He has a ride on the Formula One World Championship circuit. He has to take his car to the limit if he wants to do well.
The Alternatives
Someone like Jules Bianchi does not have to leave the sport even if he is injured badly. Many drivers will get back in the car, but other drivers will simply move to other parts of the sport. Drivers can become owners, engineers and test drivers. These drivers can become test drivers and designers for auto makers, and they can commentate on the sport they love.
They do not want to go to these alternatives because they cannot drive forever. There is also a Masters Series coming up for F1 where drivers who are over 45 can ride. These men get back in the car at high risk to their lives because it is what they love. When someone is this passionate about something, they must keep doing it.
Sunday Roundup: Spent weekend
The problem with running a training class for a side hustle is that it sucks up half of my weekend, whenever I hold a class. I like my weekends. Unfortunately for downtime, I like extra money more.
30 Day Project Update
This month, I am trying to do 100 perfect push-ups in a single set. I’m recording each session in a spreadsheet. I am currently up to 50 in a set and 175 in a session, spread across 5 sets. This week, my elbow started hurting, so I took 2 and a half days off.
Weight Loss Update
I am on the Slow Carb Diet. At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing. For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms. My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils). There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism. The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind. There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.
I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs. Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.
Weight: I have lost 38 pounds since January 2nd. That’s 2 pound since last week.
Total Inches: I have lost 22.5 inches in the same time frame, down 1.5 inches since last week. My biceps, which are part of this measurement, have grown half an inch each since I started doing push-ups twice a day.
Best Posts
My mother-in-law hates dandelions, with a passion that just isn’t sane. I want to make her a meal that consists of nothing but dandelions.
When I got my first RSA SecureID card, I thought it was the coolest thing ever. If you’ve never had one, it gives you a rotating password that changes every 30 seconds, so nobody can guess you password for long. It was neat, and, apparently, not that secure.
The idea of a tortoise on wheels makes me smile.
I’d like to try to make yogurt. I can try whatever flavors I like. Poptart-and-broccoli yogurt just sounds….
I work really hard to save money on vacations, and this post is full of good ideas to help me do that.
eBay is making changes to their fee structure that will make it a lot cheaper to sell things. I’m guessing the back-the-customer-no-matter-what-at-the-expense-of-the-seller’s-getting-scammed policy was costing them some money.
The big box stores are pushing for Amazon to collect sales tax on all sales, in opposition to a Supreme Court ruling on the topic. It won’t make a difference in sales. Amazon will still be cheaper. And I’ll get a Canadian mail drop.
LRN Timewarp
This is where I review the posts I wrote a year ago. Did you miss them then?
I talked about teaching my kids the joy of delayed gratification. Interestingly, my son has since decided he doesn’t want an XBox 360, because the buy-in is too high, with having to buy games and controllers to match the console. We’ve also changed his allowance to savings ratio. Now, 25% of everything he makes hits his bank account. The rest is his to do with as he sees fit.
Last year at this time, it was scam week here. I wrote a post on debt scams and another on disaster scams.
Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled
Money Problems: Boosting Your Income was included in the Totally Money Carnival.
Living in Debt: How I Sacrificed My Future was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
My post on spendthrift whiners was hosted on Faith and Finance. In return, I hosted his post on paper statement fees.
Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.
Yakezie Blog Swap
Jacob hosted the Yakezie Blog Swap, which is a bunch of bloggers writing on the same topic and sharing the posts with each other. Here is his list of the participants this round.
He wrote about 3 of my financial pet peeves (spending too much money on drinks, financing expensive furniture, and active investing strategies) on Narrow Bridge Finance.
Robert from The College Investor wrote about how people making mistakes with their 401k accounts is a big “no-no” at Thousandaire.Narrow Bridge Finance posted about how people not taking responsibility for their financial actions infuriates him on My Personal Finance Journey.Prairie Eco-Thrifter posted about how sales tax is her biggest financial pet peeve at 101 Centavos.101 Centavos posted about how wasting food makes his blood pressure rise at Prairie Eco-Thrifter.
LaTisha D Styles writes about how greedy banks upset her at Retire by 40.Retire by 40 wrote about how bigger is not necessarily better at FSYA Online.
Bucksome Boomer writes about how advertisers that hide the real price of a product is maddening at The Single Saver.
The Single Saver wrote about parents who do not teach their children financial responsibility at Bucksome Boomer.
Kevin from Thousandaire writes about people having misconceptions about Roth IRA’s at The College Investor.
Time from Faith and Finance vents about financial institutions charging to send paper account statements, but still send out a plethora of paper junk mail at Live Real Now.
Jason from Live Real Now politely rants about how aggravating it is to see people whine about their less-than-ideal financial situations, yet do nothing about it, at Faith and Finance.
Money Sanity vents about people complaining about paying overdraft and bank fees, while at the same time, having no idea how much credit card debt they have or their checking account balance at The Saved Quarter
The Saved Quarter writes about people who are financially irresponsible and want to complain about how broke they are while showing off the new things they bought at Money Sanity
Barb Friedberg talks about how investment advisors that get paid to sell products (more salesman than investment advisors in my book) upset her at Happy Simple Living
Happy Simple Living writes about how companies and people that exploit others aggravate her at Barb Friedberg Personal Finance.
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Have a great week!
How Refinancing Your Student Loans Can Save You Thousands
Students who graduated college in 2015 were said to have graduated with an estimated $35,000 in student loan debt. Of course, some students will have less and some more depending on what you did throughout your time in college. Either way, it is a lot of money and money that must be paid back whether you want to or not.
Student loan refinancing is an available option for many students and it will provide them with some of the relief they need financially. Did you know that refinancing your student loans can save you thousands of dollars? It’s okay if you didn’t – I will show you just how it can save you money and ease the strain on your budget.
Student Loan Refinancing: What the Heck Is It?
Before you can apply for refinancing, you need to understand what it is. When you refinance your student loan, your new lender will pay off your old loans and gives you a new loan with updated terms and rates.
Most student loan refinancing is done through a private lender, which means that there may be eligibility requirements that need to be met before you can actually go through with the refinancing.
How Can Refinancing Save Me Thousands?
There are a couple of different ways that refinancing can help save you thousands. First and foremost, you will receive a new interest rate. The rate itself will often vary depending on your situation, but usually falls somewhere between 2-5% for most students. The jump from a 6-8% interest rate to a 2-5% interest rate it immense. Let’s take a look.
For example, if you have a student loan balance of $25,000 at a 6.5% interest rate and your term is 10 years, you will pay a total of $9,065 in interest over the course of the term. Now, if we change the interest rate down to 3.5%, you will only pay $4,665 in interest payments over the course of the 10 years. That is a savings of $4,400!
The second way that you can save thousands is by adjusting the length of your payback period. Often times, the default is set at 10 years, but students often extend it out to 20 or 25 years. This will increase the amount you pay in the long run because you now need to pay interest over that extended period.
When you refinance your student loans, you are able to shorten the term of your loan, which means you pay thousands less because you do not have to continue to pay interest over the extended length of the loan.
Final Thoughts on Student Loan Refinancing
Student loan refinancing is a great option for students looking to destroy their debt, but it is not always an option for everyone. You do need to qualify, which means you need a good credit score or a cosigner with a good credit score. Refinancing your student loans can help save you thousands of dollars over time, so if you do have the option to do it, you should.
