Live Real, Now

The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.

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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.
Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?
Me: Yes?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: May I ask what that was for?
FMe: Of course.
Me: What was that for, jerk?
FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.
Me: What?!?  I’ve never even met you, before.
FMe: Of course you have.  I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.
Me: Huh?
FMe: Listen close.  You’re not  the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.
Me: ???
FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.
Me: I don’t appreciate….
FMe: Shut up.  I was dumb then, too.  Remember?  You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year.  On top of many other expensive decisions.  Do your recall?
Me: Yes, I do.  So what?
FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car.  Your kids wear new clothes.  You’ve got a house full of new furniture.  How did you pay for all of that?
Me: Naturally, I charged it.  Zero payments, zero interest for a year!  Pretty smart, huh?
FMe: What happens in a year?
Me: I don’t know.  I’ve got a full year to figure that out.
FMe: <Slap!>  I’ll tell you what happens!  Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed!   Your raise didn’t come through.  You had a baby. The truck broke down.  Your wife took maternity leave.  A roommate moved out.  You took a loss in the stock market.  You didn’t plan!  You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.
Me: How was I to know?
FMe: <Slap!>  Life happens!  You never know what is coming next.  You need to plan and save for what might happen.  Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly.  That is not acceptable.
Me:  So?  What are you going to do about it?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: Really?  Again?
FMe: <Slap!>  I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help.  Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux.  My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford.   You’ve screwed me, dude.
Me: I’m sorry.  What can I do to fix it?
FMe: Buy me dinner, first.
Me: Huh?!?!?
FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change.  No credit.
Me: None?
FMe: None.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  Only spend what you can afford. Budget.  Pay off those nasty bills.  Don’t leave me hanging.
Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?
FMe: Exactly.  That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence.  Live in the real world.
Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me!  Now I know.
FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

 

20 Lazy Ways to Save Money

Finance

Image by Paul Vivier via Flickr

Investopedia ran a post on 20 lazy ways to save money.  I thought it was worth sharing my take on the post.

1.  Schedule automatic payments. I do this obsessively.   I run all of my regular payments through my bank’s online bill-pay.  I think there are 2 bills that get paid manually; 1 is a quarterly payment, the other is due annually.

2.  Eat your groceries. According to the post, Americans–on average–throw away 15% of the groceries they buy.   I totally believe that.  We don’t throw away that much, but it’s still too much.  It tends to be the fresh vegetables, which we eat as side dishes instead of the main course.   We need to switch that mindset, both to use the vegetable efficiently and to eat healthier.

3.  Bundle services. I refuse.  I hate the idea of having a single point of failure for multiple systems.  If the power goes out, I lose my cable, but I keep the phone.   If, for some reason, I can’t pay my phone bill, I don’t lose my internet connection.   I like keeping these things separated.

4.  Pay off credit card. Hardly a lazy process, but otherwise…duh!

5. Mark your calendar. I use my Google Calendar as obsessively as I use automatic payments.  I put in reminders, grocery lists, or anything else I need to know at a specific time.

6. File your taxes on time. I just helped a friend dig out of this mess.   I pay as soon as all of my paperwork is delivered.   The IRS doesn’t give up and they have leverage, including garnishment and even jail.

7. Roll it over. When you change jobs, take your 401k with you.  Don’t leave it behind like a series of red-headed stepchildren.   It’s too easy to lose track of the accounts.   Don’t cash it out!  I made that mistake once and lost far too much to taxes.  A rollover doesn’t count against your 401k contribution limits.

8. Switch credit cards. If you can a good balance transfer offer that’s followed by a better interest rate than you currently have, use it.  But don’t forget to pay attention to the transfer fees.  Do the math.  If it costs you $500 to transfer the money, how much interest do you have to save to make it worthwhile?

9. Use your privileges. If you have a AAA membership, use it.  It gives you a discount on hotels, oil changes, car rentals, and more.   Read the paperwork. Former military gets a ton of random discounts, too.  Ask.

10. Rent instead of buy. Renting can save you money over buying, if it’s something you’ll only use once, but borrowing is free.

11. Buy instead of rent.  Rent-a-center is a ripoff, but they can’t even legally operate here.  If you’re going to use something regularly, buy it.

12. Ask. I love to call up every company I give money to and ask if there’s a way I can give them less.   Outside of chain stores and restaurants I almost always ask for a lower price.

13. Just say no. Extended warranties are generally a waste of money.   However, if I can’t afford to replace the item, I do get the warranty.  On my car, I brought it in for a full inspection and repair a few weeks before the warranty ran out and made all of that money back.    We are slowly building a warranty fund to replace the need for any future extended warranties.

14. Have the awkward conversation. We tried giving gift-giving the axe, but nobody enjoyed that.  Now, we cap the gifts at $20 and do a round-robin type of gift.  $40 for gifts keeps 10 adults happy.

15. Eat at home. Generally, I can cook almost anything better at home, but I really do enjoy eating out and trying new restaurants.  We just keep it from being a regular expense.

16. Balance your checkbook. What a waste of time!    With automatic payments and cash for all of the discretionary budget items, I balance the checkbook once a month.

17. Stick with your bank. Either use your own bank’s ATM network, or use a bank that refunds ATM fees.  I only take out cash on the first of the month, for the entire month and I do that with a teller, so this is never an issue for us.

18. Use your TV. Cable movie packages instead of a video membership?  Really?  That’s a horrible idea.

19. Quit those bad habits. I quite smoking, saving $200 a month.  I don’t drink much and I’m working on fixing my eating habits.   Vices are fun, and this is certainly not a fun way to save money.

20. Forget the pet. There is no way this would fly at my house.  we have 5 cats, 2 gerbils, and a dog.   Our renter has 2 pythons.  We’re a flippin’ zoo and honestly, mess and cost aside, we all like it that way.

How do you stand on these ideas?

Sunday Roundup: Varsity Punk

Misc

Löwenmaul
Image by stee via Flickr

I moved this roundup to Sunday to give myself a bit more time to track my weight-loss and push-up goals, since I weigh in on Saturdays.   Yesterday, however was super busy.  It was all good, but full.

Starting Friday:  After work, I rushed my oldest to the B-squad wrestling tournament, where he took first place in his weight bracket.  When I got home, I fell asleep almost immediately.

Saturday, we woke up and rushed to the varsity tournament.   It was his first time wrestling varsity.   Now, he wrestles for a youth league.  Participants vary from 3rd to 8th grades.    My son is 11, 5′ 7″, and 150 pounds.  Guess who he wrestles?  Almost exclusively eighth graders.  He lost both of his matches, but he put in a great showing.  He lasted a round and a half against the top-rated kid in his bracket and managed to get quite a few points.

After that, we rushed home, made dinner for some friends and went to a movie.   Red Riding Hood is worth seeing.   We got home at 1 and immediately fell asleep.   This is the first time I’ve had the computer on at home since Thursday night, other than to check movie times and prices.

30 Day Project Update

This month, I am trying to do 100 perfect push-ups in a single set.  I’m recording each session in a spreadsheet.  I am currently up to 91 in a set and 261 in a session, spread across 5 sets.  I’m expecting to be down in my next session, since I’ve totally slacked off the few days.

Weight Loss Update

I am on the Slow Carb Diet.   At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing.   For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms.   My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils).    There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism.   The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind.  There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs.   Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 40 pounds since January 2nd.   That’s 2 pound since last week.   I’ve dropped 7 pounds in March, while doing an insane amount of push-ups and packing on a few pounds of muscle.

Total Inches: I have lost  24 inches in the same time frame, down 1.5 inches since last week.   I’ve lost 7 inches each off of my waist and hips.   It’s time to go clothes shopping, which sucks.  I manage to avoid doing that for a year or more at a time, but now, my pants have stopped fitting.   When I cinch my belt to where it actually fits, my jeans have pleats.

Best Posts

The recording industry has sued Limewire for damages totaling more than the economic value of…Earth.

Making money line is easier when you’re not bing conned.  PT has a list of legit paying survey sites.

I’d love to raise chickens.  It’s technically allowed in my city, but only with a permit that the city refuses to issue.

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote a year ago.  Did you miss them then?

I wrote Fall from Grace, a post about how and why I got into debt.

There was also a post on credit repair.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

You’re Gonna Die, Part 1 was included in the Totally Money Carnival.

Getting Out of Debt: The Prime Rule as included in Carnival of Personal Finance.

Financial Pet Peeve: Fees To Receive Paper Bank Statements was included in the Festival of Frugality.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader.  I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook.   Facebook gets more use than Google.  It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter.   This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of.   I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great week!

 

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Sunday Roundup: Reddit Rocks

Misc

Enthiran
Image via Wikipedia

Friday was my biggest traffic day, ever.   Mike‘s guest post, Brown Bagging Your Way to Savings, went slightly nuts on reddit.  For a few hours, it was in the top 10 on the front page, generating more traffic every half hour than I normally see in a day.  That was fun.

In other news, my kid is in the #2 slot for wrestling the heavyweight slot on his wrestling team.

30 Day Project Update

This month, I am trying to establish the Slow Carb Diet as a habit.   At the end of the month, I’ll see what the results were and decide if it’s worth continuing.   For those who don’t know, the Slow Carb Diet involves cutting out potatoes, rice, flour, sugar, and dairy in all their forms.   My meals consist of 40% proteins, 30% vegetables, and 30% legumes(beans or lentils).    There is no calorie counting, just some specific rules, accompanied by a timed supplement regimen and some timed exercises to manipulate my metabolism.   The supplements are NOT effedrin-based diet pills, or, in fact, uppers of any kind.  There is also a weekly cheat day, to cut the impulse to cheat and to avoid letting my body go into famine mode.

I’m measuring two metrics, my weight and the total inches of my waist , hips, biceps, and thighs.   Between the two, I should have an accurate assessment of my progress.

Weight: I have lost 25 pounds since January 2nd.   That’s 3 pounds since last week.  17 more to meet my goal for February.

Total Inches: I have lost 14 inches in the same time frame, down 2.5 since last week.

Best Posts

J. Money has launched an awesome new project called Love Drop.  Once a month, they go make a huge difference in someone’s life.   Wise Bread interviewed them yesterday.

Tip: Use the word “solved” in a google search to find the answers to tech problems.

If OMG and Awesome got drunk and made a baby with Optimus Prime, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Cobra Commander’s nastiest fantasies, the offspring wouldn’t be this good. Holy crap.  Major cheese alert.

Q. Why do some business lobby hard for excessive regulation in the name of protecting the environment or forcing people into decisions they disagree with, only to turn around and lobby for waivers to those regulations once they are passed?  A. Because it’s not about the environment or health or giving-a-crap.  It’s about the money.  When an established company pushes for regulations, it’s to keep upstarts from entering the market.  Regulations add barriers to entry.   Anybody who’s trying to force you to do something for your own good has a product to sell to meet that “need”.

LRN Timewarp

This is where I review the posts I wrote a year ago.  Did you miss them then?

Have you ever given any thought to the idea that debt is a social disease?  It’s taboo, you usually didn’t do anything nice to get it, and it’s hard to get rid of.

In case I haven’t made it obnoxiously clear, I’m more than a bit of a geek.  The post I wrote about D&D and personal finance should make it more obvious.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

Medical Costs and Choices was included in the Festival of Frugality.

How to Save Money On Anything was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

Mike from http://savingmoneytoday.net presented Brown Bagging Your Way to Savings, which is the post that went kinda nuts on reddit.  He also hosted my post, Resisting Temptation.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Get More Out of Live Real, Now

There are so many ways you can read and interact with this site.

You can subscribe by RSS and get the posts in your favorite news reader.  I prefer Google Reader.

You can subscribe by email and get, not only the posts delivered to your inbox, but occasional giveaways and tidbits not available elsewhere.

You can ‘Like’ LRN on Facebook.   Facebook gets more use than Google.  It can’t hurt to see what you want where you want.

You can follow LRN on Twitter.   This comes with some nearly-instant interaction.

You can send me an email, telling me what you liked, what you didn’t like, or what you’d like to see more(or less) of.   I promise to reply to any email that isn’t purely spam.

Have a great weekend!

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How You’re Finding Me

Misc

Every once in a while, I like to dig through Google Analytics and see how  people are finding this site.   Some of the search terms are interesting.

“father of three” mid life crisis

Here’s a free piece of advice.  As a father of three, you don’t get to have a mid-life crisis.  It’s not allowed.  Rather, it’s allowed, but you aren’t allowed to act on it.   At a minimum, until your children are out of the house, you need to man up and provide all of the support you possibly can.  No sports cars you can’t afford and no 22 year old hardbodies.   Be there for your kids.

“payday loans” which accepts guest posts

Payday loan marketing.   Just go away.  You aren’t running a guest post here.

“slow carb” hungry all the time

You’re doing it wrong.  If you are hungry, eat more bacon.   Or beans.   Beans fill you up longer.

$1000000 business idea

Ideas are the easy part.  Execution makes you a millionaire.

articles on why appearance shouldn’t matter?

Appearances do matter, and always will.  Your appearance is what makes the initial impression when you meet someone new.  You don’t have to be a model, but basic grooming and fashion sense is necessary.   Take this with a grain of salt.  I’ve got a week’s growth of a beard and I wear a different plaid, button-down shirt every day.

are push ups supposed to be hard

Only the first 50.  After that, I kind of go on blissed-out autopilot.  If you can do 100 pushups, you can probably do 200.

acceptable place to put tattoo

If you wear clothes there, you can put a tattoo there.   Visible tattoos are called “job stoppers” for a reason.  If you put a tattoo on your face, the only job you qualify for is “drug dealer’s girlfriend”.   Or possibly prison janitor.

burning bridges with toxic people

If you must burn bridges, filling them with toxic people first isn’t a bad idea.

candied pork butt

Rule 34:  If it exists, there is porn of it.  Interesting side story: while double-checking the rule number, I stumbled across My Little Ponies doing things they never advertise on the box.

cut my wife’s hair

I did this once.   Pro tip:  In the back, at the bottom, cut small chunks and leave them longer than you think they should be.  You can always cut more, but uncutting hair is really hard.

f***** on the roadside by your mechanic

He probably deserves a tip for that.

girls fart for money and girls live farts

See the bit about the pork butt, remove the funny, and…ewww.

how to be a successful debtor

I recommend starting by paying your bills.  When the debts are gone, you win.  Success!

i ate bacon on slow carb diet

So did everyone else, sweetie.  It’s the biggest draw to the slow carb diet.

in memory of pets tattoos

When I get a pet, I get it with the understanding that I’m going to outlive it.   The day I bring it home, some small part of me is preparing for the day when I have to dig a hole in my backyard.   Tattooing that day?  Not gonna happen.

thickening felt behind testicle

Why are you on google?  Go to the doctor.  Please?

Interesting.  Between girls farting and my post about being well-trained, there is a significant amount of fetish traffic coming through here.  Maybe I need to explore a new advertising strategy.

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