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Playing For Blood
Kris at Every Tips and Thoughts wrote a post about games and letting her kids win feeling bad about winning. I disagree. This post is an expansion of my comment there.
When we play games in my house, we play for blood. I’ve never let my kids win and they know it. From the first time the kids attempt Memory, they know they’ve got to earn a win against Mom and Dad. They know if they lose, they must do so gracefully. If they pout or cry, they lose game privileges for a while. I demand good sportsmanship, win or lose.
To be clear, my kids are 3, 4, and 11 and they are all held to the same standards of sportsmanship. Win or lose, they will do so gracefully. There will be no temper tantrums when they are Sorry’d and no pouting when the Queen is captured.
It took my son almost 3 years to beat me at chess. When it finally happened, he was almost as proud as I was and still talks about it 5 years later.
It’s not much fun playing games with his friends. They were coddled and expect to win everything. I have to take away game privileges just like I do for my 3 year old. They hate that because we have the coolest board games. Nobody else has games that involve zombies or disembodied brains.
What has the result been?
My kids love playing games. This week, my oldest has been teaching his sisters how to play Life. When he visits his friends, he’s as likely to bring a board game as an electronic game. He’s got a good mind for strategy, and I can’t remember the last time he pouted when I tromped him.
My 4 year old hasn’t mastered gamesmanship yet, but she will. When I threaten to put the game away, she wipes her eyes, and keeps playing, even if her jaw is chattering. She knows what is expected and works to live up to it.
Both of the older kids are competitive. They’ve never had a win handed to them, and they have each had wins they had to work for, and they know how it feels to win and earn it.
The youngest doesn’t care if she wins, she’s just happy to play. In my experience, the competitive gameplay gene doesn’t activate until 4.
In my mind, the real world won’t hand them any wins, so I might as well start teaching them how to work for it now.
How about you? Do you let your kids win, or do you teach them that all games are bloodsports?
Smoking Saved My Life
Lately, I’ve been traveling for work about twice per month. The trips have generally been to my company headquarters, about 5 hours east of my house, though at the time this goes live, I will be ending another trip in the Chicago area.
Earlier this month, I was out there to conduct some training webinars and enjoy the company Christmas party. After the party, my insomnia kicked in and I couldn’t sleep. At 6AM, I decided to give it up for a lost cause and pack my stuff for the 5 hour drive home.
On no sleep.
The morning after a nasty ice storm.
I do not have a death wish.
Really.
I got packed, ready to go. Then crawled back in bed with the nap timer on my phone set. Thirty minutes later, I checked out of the hotel and got in my car.
I really don’t want to die, though this trip scared me a bit. It’s a long 5 hours, 4.5 of those hours are on one road, driving across southern Wisconsin. Tedious is one word that comes to mind. Mind-numbing and lullaby-driving are two others.
Instead of getting on the highway, I drove to Wal-mart. I stocked up on cigarettes and Rockstar.
Now, I quit smoking 6 years ago when we found out brat #3 was coming a bit faster than we expected. It was purely a financial decision at that point, but breathing turned out to be a nice change, too.
Nicotine is a stimulant with immediate effects. That means, if I start feeling drowsy, I can smoke a cigarette and I quit feeling drowsy while I chug energy drinks.
Good plan, Jason.
It worked. I made it home, then fell on the couch and didn’t move for 4 hours. Then I ate dinner and went to bed.
Unfortunately, even after quitting for 6 years, by the time I got home, it felt like I’d never quit. So I get the joy of quitting again.
By the time you read this, the craving should be gone and I should just be getting ready to climb in my car for a long drive on not enough sleep.
Stand Up For Yourself
Monday night, my son was struggling to get all of his homework done before bed. He had a 6 page packet of work from his advanced math class that he was supposed to have done over the weekend.
When I asked him why he hadn’t done it, he told me he forgot about it.
I wasn’t happy.
We’ve had a lot of conversations about responsibility and planning over the years. He knows better.
Cue Dad Lecture #26.
Towards the end, when I’m building up this rocking crescendo about how what he does now will affect him for the rest of his life, I stopped.
“Buddy, weren’t you sick on Friday?”
He didn’t get his weekend homework until Monday. Of course he didn’t do it over the weekend.
Dad Lecture #26 immediately transitioned to Ad Hoc Lecture #4, titled “Why did you let me chew you out for something you didn’t do?”
I’ve always tried to raise my kids to be independent. I’ve never stifled asking questions, and I am willing to explain my decisions to them, even if they don’t stand a chance of winning the appeal. As frustrating as independent, strong-willed children can be, I know it will serve them well as adults.
Now I’m trying to figure out why that fell apart on Monday. I wasn’t yelling at him and he doesn’t think I was. Sometimes, the perception of who’s yelling differs depending on which side of my loud voice you are on.
He doesn’t know why he sat back at took the lecture instead of explaining what happened. He apparently forgot that he was given that homework just a few hours before.
My question to all of you is how can I make my kid behave and obey when necessary, but still have enough backbone to stand up for himself when he’s not wrong? And know when each is necessary.
How to make Forex spread betting accessible to you
Easy to start and accessible, spread betting UK wide has grown in popularity. Forex spread betting in particular has attracted interest from traders all over the country, since it is a leveraged (or margined) product, which means that you are only required to deposit a small percentage of the full value of your position to place a forex trade. This means that the potential for profit, or loss, from an initial capital outlay is significantly higher than in traditional trading. They can go either long or short on their chosen currencies and can trade across a number of currency pairs. While Forex spread betting can be exciting, for newcomers, there are a few things to do before commencing trading. With advice from experts such as City Index, there is a possibility of being a successful trader.
The first thing any new trader should do is research their market. A combination of technical and fundamental analysis usually works: some traders follow one more than the other, as it works better for them. Over time, you’ll find which research style works for you, while doing so before each trade will help you when looking at each currency pair.
Creating a clear, easy-to-follow spread betting plan is vital. Doing so will prepare you for each trade you make, while simultaneously eliminating any indecision you may have in the event of not having a plan. When trading, it’s also important to make use of the many risk management tools at your disposal. They mean that any potential losses are limited to a pre-set level.
Tying in with any research you do, following the news constantly is imperative. Monitoring any stories which will have a direct impact on the market you’re spread betting on, and looking at the live market regularly is especially important with Forex spread betting.
For beginners in Forex spread betting, there are plenty of resources available online for anyone with an interest in getting into it. Websites of companies like City Index have everything you need to help get you started.
Diana Nyad: Never Give Up
Diana Nyad, a 64-year-old endurance swimmer, became the first person to swim the 110 mile distance from Cuba to Key West Florida. Certainly, the environmental factors were in her favor as the sea life did not bother her,
the currents stayed friendly, and no storms approached. She swam for over fifty-two hours straight before reaching the coast of Florida.
After her long, treacherous journey across the ocean, her words of advice to others were “I have three messages. One is we should never, ever give up. Two is you never are too old to chase your dreams. Three is it looks like a solitary sport, but it takes a team.” Surely, just as a physical sport requires will-power and endurance not to “throw in the towel” or give up, life also requires this same type of endurance.
We are all running an endurance race of life in which we must preserver when trials arise. In order to succeed in this, we must never look back at past failures, but rather press forward to the reward. Just as people running a foot face are running with intense focus on the goal (to cross the finish line and win the metal), people with purpose are also running this race of life, in which they are looking forward to a reward beyond our human comprehension.
In addition, just as Diana Nyad said that one is never too old to chase his or her dreams, a person should never look at age as a determinant of wisdom or faith in life. This is undoubtedly true in regards to children and their innocent, child-like faith that is unpolluted by experience and unspotted by the knowledge of the evilness that exists all around us in this world.
On the other hand, the older people should not possess a mind-set that limits their ability to stay active in life. As soon as a person determines in his or her head or listens to outside voices telling him or her that he or she cannot do something because of advanced age, he or she has a tendency to live out these thoughts and these thoughts create feelings of defeat. Ultimately, people should keep a child-like faith with an optimistic, determined thought pattern in life. This will surely create better overall mental health and therefore more productivity.
Just as Diana Nyad pointed out that her endurance swim could not have been successfully accomplished without a team, people need positive fellowship in life. When a person is discouraged, having somebody to embrace him or her in a hug and simply offer words of encouragement can greatly leave a positive impact on the soul. When one person is strong in an area, the next person is possibly weak in that same area. We are all unique and have different strengths that we can bring to the community. If everybody shared their time and gifts with their neighbor, this life would be much simpler.
Unfortunately, many “sharks” exist amongst people that are looking for somebody to gnash with their teeth, torture, and devour. It is often said that a shark can “smell fear” and thus responds in a negative matter to fear. Diana Nyad did not focus on the sharks, therefore did not display fear nor was she approached by any dangerous predators. Instead, she focused on the shore, not looking to her right or left. In life, if we do not pay the “sharks” any attention, they will most likely not notice or approach us.
We can learn much from Diana Nyad’s example of her “Never Give Up” endurance swim.
