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New Debt
For the first time in 2 years(almost to the day), I am acquiring new debt that I can’t afford to pay off immediately. On a credit card.
Last Thursday, my son entered vision therapy. He has what is commonly known as a “lazy eye”, but is more properly called a “wandering eye”. His eyes don’t always lock on to whatever he is looking at. Instead, one of his eyes will (occasionally, but not always) drift to the side and shut off. His brain doesn’t interpret the signals from that eye.
We had two sessions of tests to diagnose the specific problems: $350.
We will have 28 weekly sessions of therapy @ $140 per session: $3920
There is an equipment fee: $85
That’s a total of $4355 over the next 7 months.
Insurance covers some of it, but the therapist is out-of-network, so it’s “pay first, get reimbursed later from the insurance company”. If we pay up front, we get 1 session free, bringing the price to $4215, minus insurance.
I have a health savings account that I have been trying to max out to cover this, to make my payments all pre-tax. I haven’t been able to get enough in there, yet. In fact, since I don’t have my kids on my insurance, my maximum HSA contribution is $3050.
Since finding out that vision therapy was going to be necessary, I have managed to save $1000 in cash, and about $1500 in my HSA. That’s $2500 of a $4215 bill, leaving $1715 that I still need to be able to cover.
Here is my plan:
We’re charging the entire $4215 at 11.9% interest on a card with a 2% travel rewards program. This will give me $84.30 worth of travel rewards good for reimbursing any travel expenses.
I will immediately pay off $1000 from cash savings.
I will also immediately file for an insurance reimbursement, which will cover 80% – $500, or $2972 minus a bit. Our insurance got a waiver on the pseudo-wonderful healthcare fraud act on the grounds that the plan sucks so bad that it would cost too much to comply with the law. No joke. I’m expecting about a $2500 reimbursement, and I have no idea how long that takes.
In 6 weeks, when I have maxed out my HSA contributions for the year, I will file for an HSA reimbursement for about $2500, leaving about $500 to cover some medical costs for the rest of the year. Vision therapy doesn’t count against my deductible, since my kids are on my wife’s insurance plan.
Starting in June, my debt snowball will no longer be going to max out my HSA and will instead go straight to this card, to finish paying it off as quickly as possible. That’s $750 per month.
Any money from any side work will also go towards this bill, but I don’t budget for that, because it isn’t reliable money.
The projected results:
$3215 on the credit card for 6 weeks @ 11.9% = $50 in interest payments.
After the HSA reimbursement, there will be $715 left to pay, which will be paid off in June for another $10 in interest.
When we get the insurance reimbursement, we’ll replenish the medical bill account, to start getting ready for the kid’s braces next year. We’ll drop $1500 into that account and use the remaining $1000 as a debt snowball payment.
We’ll end up paying $60 in interest to save $140 in therapy costs, so it’s good math, but I hate the idea of racking up another credit card bill. I could drop the interest costs a bit by raiding my emergency fund, but that still wouldn’t cover it all, and it would leave me with very little left for an actual emergency. I could raid the emergency fund for half of its value($700), and reduce the initial interest paid to $25 and the total interest paid to about $40, then use the $1000 leftover from the insurance reimbursement to replace my emergency fund.
Toxic People
You should never be in the company of anyone with whom you would not want to die.
-Duncan Idaho, from God-Emperor of Dune
Some people suck the life out of everyone they encounter. Whether it be through lies, unreasonable demands, emotional abuse or manipulation, or just a vile personalty, the people they meet are worse off for the encounter. The people they interact with every day are screwed.
My time is too precious to waste any of it unnecessarily on people who remove value from it. I like being with people who enrich my life, instead.
Unfortunately, since I’m not an advocate for the use of hitmen, not every toxic person is easy to eliminate from your life.
Toxic people come in 3 basic varieties: professional, personal, and family. There is some overlap between the categories.
The personal category is easiest to deal with. These people aren’t relatives or coworkers, so you won’t see them at family gatherings or at work. I’ve dealt with these people in two ways.
First, there is the direct approach. One former friend, who was really only a friend when it was convenient for him(a pure leech), got told that he wasn’t invited to one of our parties because I was inviting his ex-wife, instead. That was the last time he called me.
The second option is far more passive. I set up a contact group in my phone called “Life’s too short”. At first, I set it up with a fairly insulting ring tone, but I later switched it to no ring at all. I don’t know they’ve called until I check my voicemail. It’s far less direct, but also far easier than the direct approach.
Dealing with the toxic people in your family is more complicated. You’ll see them at holiday gatherings, or hear about them during unrelated visits. You probably have a lot of memories growing up with them, and may feel some level of obligation–deserved or not–to maintain contact. It’s hard to break a tie that you’ve had your entire life.
Can you fix their behavior? It’s worth trying to have a frank discussion about how they are treating you, or the things they are doing. If the problem is that they are constantly bringing over their methhead boyfriends, banning the drug addicts from your home, while still welcoming the relative may be an acceptable fix. If the problem is a constant need to belittle you, demanding they stop may work. If the problem is a lifetime of emotional abuse, it probably isn’t fixable.
Is banishment an option? Can you put that creepy cousin on the Life’s Too Short list? You’ll still have to deal with him at family gatherings, but you can always leave the room when he comes in, right? Don’t engage, don’t participate in any conversation beyond a polite greeting, and don’t offer any encouragement towards regular contact.
It’s possible that it won’t be possible to fix their behavior and that you won’t want to banish the offender. If, for example, the offender is your mother (Not you, Mom!), you may feel a sense of obligation to maintain contact, or even be a primary caregiver at times. This is a line nobody else can draw for you. At some point, the current bad behavior could overwhelm the past obligations. When that happens are you prepared for it? That can be a traumatic break.
The other option, as cold as it sounds, is to wait it out. Nature will take its course, eventually. Can you wait that long, while maintaining your sanity and emotional equilibrium?
Professional toxic people include customers, vendors, and coworkers, none of whom are easy to get rid of.
If you own the business, you can fire your problem customers if the hassle outweighs the benefits you get from the relationship. You can find a new vendor, and you can fire the problem employees.
What happens if you are an employee?
If the problem is your boss, your options are to suck it up, talk to his boss, or find a new job. If the first is intolerable, and the second is impossible, it’s time to polish your resume.
If the problem is a vendor, you’ve got some options. Document the problems, first. Does he make inappropriate jokes, or badmouth you to your customers? Then, research the alternatives. Does one of his competitors offer an equivalent product or service? Take the documentation and research to your boss, or whoever makes that decision, and see if you can get your company to make the switch. The other option, is to request someone new to deal with at the vendor’s company, but that may not always be possible.
Finally, we come to the problem of toxic coworkers.
Some coworkers have the same problems as a toxic boss. Is the company vice-president the boss’s baby brother? You’re probably not going to find a win there. You’ll have to suck it up or move on.
Is the problem person working in an unrelated department doing unrelated tasks? It may be possible to start taking breaks at different times and leave him where he belongs: in the past.
Is the difficult individual sharing an office with you, demanding everything be done his way, and throwing daily tantrums? This is the one that has to be dealt with. He’s the one sucking the life out of you every single day.
First, start making use of a voice recorder. If you’ve got a smartphone, you’ve probably already got one. Otherwise, drop the $20 to buy one. This lets you document the evil. When his behavior goes hinky, record it.
Second, stand up for yourself. If he’s making unreasonable demands, tell him it’s inappropriate. He’s a bully, and bullies tend to back down when they are confronted.
Third, make sure the boss knows about the behavior. Yes, this is tattling. Get over it. If he wasn’t acting like he was a spoiled 4 year old, you wouldn’t have to tell the boss that he was. If the boss doesn’t know there’s a problem, he can’t deal with it.
Fourth, for any problem that isn’t directly aimed at you, ignore it. If he makes a habit of throwing a tantrum because somebody emptied the coffee pot, or because the company switched health plans, let him. Only get in the way if it’s directed at you. Over time, the tantrums will get more noticeable and out of hand, forcing the boss to deal with it, preferably by handing him a pink slip.
Your goal is documentation, awareness, and avoidance. Make the worst of it go elsewhere so you can be as productive as possible, document what you can, and let the boss become aware of the situation and how bad it has become. And be patient. This isn’t an overnight fix.
How do you deal with the toxic people in your life?
Teaching My Child about Money in a Way I Was Not Taught
When I was in high school and working 15 to 20 hours a week, my mom gave me free rein to use the money I earned as I would like. Actually, she said nothing to me about saving for college or putting some money into savings.
When I had friends who complained that they had to put away some of their earnings, I commiserated with them. How unfair of their parents to make them save some of their money! They worked hard for their money, often at crappy part-time jobs. They deserved to spend the money any way they saw fit.
The way I saw it, why save for college? According to financial aid rules, if the student has any savings, she would have to use the majority of it to pay for college. How unfair. To add insult to injury, if prospective college students have some savings, they would qualify for less financial aid, which often meant fewer student loans.
The injustice.
Yes, it was better to spend my hard earned money than save it and be penalized.
No one told me differently. In fact, many people in my family agreed with me and encouraged me to buy a used car to get to and from my job. Of course, I paid the loan payments for the car, the gas I used and my insurance out of money from my job. That was a responsible use of money, but I also went out to eat with friends, a lot. At 16, I was going out to eat with my friends twice a week at least.
However, my plan worked perfectly. When I went to college, I didn’t have to use any of my hard earned cash. No, not me, because I hadn’t saved anything. Instead, I left college with nearly $20,000 in student loan debt. I took two years off and paid down as much student loan debt as I could, getting it down to about $8,000, but then I went to graduate school and took on more student loan debt. I graduated with nearly $25,000 in debt total. I am still paying on it today, 13 years later.
Now that I am the parent, I am one of those “awful” parents who makes her kids save. My son knows when he gets his allowance, some goes to save, some goes to donate, and some goes to spend. True, it makes me cringe when he uses his spend money on little trinkets like temporary tattoos, stickers, and gum, but I keep silent. He did the work to earn the money, and he can spend it as he likes. However, I am inflexible with saving; that money must be set aside. When he goes to college, I expect that he will have to use the majority of that money. Rather than seeing it as a waste, I see it as an important component of his financial education. Spending his money to pay a portion of his college education will hopefully make him take college more seriously.
Meanwhile, I have already begun having chats with him about money, spending, and budgeting. He watches his dad and I work hard to pay down our debt with gazelle intensity. He sees me use a calculator at the grocery store to see how much our groceries will be.
Ultimately, he will make his own financial decisions as he grows up, but I plan to teach him throughout these important years so that even if he turns into a spendthrift, he will have a firm financial understanding to revert to as he ages. While my mom taught me how to stretch money further, she never taught me how to save; I hope saving is a lesson my son takes with him throughout his adulthood.
How do you teach your kids about money management?
Melissa writes at Fiscal Phoenix where she encourages people to rise from the ashes of their financial mistakes as she and her husband are doing.
Save Your Family
I don’t attach much importance to dreams. They are just there to make sleepy-time less boring. Last night, I had a dream where I spent most of my time trying to prepare my wife to run our finances before telling my son that I wouldn’t be around to watch him grow up. That’s an unpleasant thought to wake up with. Lying there, trying to digest this dream, I started thinking about the transition from “I deal with the bills” to “I’m not there to deal with it”. We aren’t prepared for that transition. Last year, we started putting together our “In case of death” file, but that project fell short. The highest priorities are done. We have wills and health directives, but how would my wife pay the bills? Everything is electronic. Does she know how to log in to the bank’s billpay system? Which bills are only in my name, and will go away if I die? Is there a list of our life insurance policies?
I checked the incomplete file that contains this information. It hasn’t been updated since September. It’s time to get that finished. Procrastinating is inappropriate and denial is futile. Here’s a news flash: You are going to die. Hopefully, it won’t happen soon, but it will happen. Is your family prepared for that?
The questions are “What do I need?” and “What do I have?”
First and foremost, you need a will. If you have children and do not have a will, take a moment–right now– to slap yourself. A judge is not the best person to determine where your children should go if you die. The rest of it is minor, if you’re married. Let your next-of-kin, your spouse keep it. I don’t care. Just take care of your kids! Set up a trust to pay for the care of your children. Their new guardians will appreciate it. How hard is it to set up? I use Quicken Willmaker and have been very pleased. Of course, the true test is in probate court, and I won’t be there for it. If you are more comfortable getting an attorney, then do so. I’ve done it each way. You can cut some costs by using Willmaker, then taking it to an attorney for review.
It’s a sad fact that often, before you die, you spend some time dying. Do you have a health care directive? Does your family know, in writing, if and when you want the plug pulled? Who gets to make that decision? Have you set up a medical power of attorney, so someone can make medical decisions on your behalf if you aren’t able? Do you want, and if so, do you have a Do-Not-Resuscitate order? Willmaker will handle all of this, too.
What’s going to happen to your bank accounts? I’m personally a fan of keeping both of our names on all of our accounts. I share my life and my heart, I’d better be able to trust her with our money. If that’s not an option, for whatever reason, fill out the “Payable on Death” information for your accounts, establishing a beneficiary who can get access to your money if you die. Do you want your spouse to lose the house or the car if you die? Should your kids have to miss meals? Make sure necessary access to your money exists.
Does anybody know what you have for life insurance? Get a copy of the policy and make sure your spouse and someone else knows what company holds it and how much it is worth.
Now, it’s time to make some lists. You need to gather account numbers and contact information for everything.
- Bank accounts. List every bank and account you own. Checking, savings, CDs.
- Investment accounts. Again, every company, every account.
- Mortgage and car payment information.
- Life insurance. Get your policy numbers, contact information, beneficiaries, and amount of coverage all in one place.
- Credit card accounts. Every card, every company. If it’s just your name on the account, your spouse will need to send certified death certificates to stop collections. Otherwise, she’ll need to pay the bills.
- Utilities. Get the account number for the electric bill, the gas bill, water/sewer/garbage, cable and phones.
- Other bills. These include car/home insurance, Netflix, memberships and anything else you pay.
- I’ve included the account information for my web host, registrars and websites. Some of it is salable, some of it is income-generating.
- Car titles. Put the actual titles in the pile of lists.
- Property deeds. Keep these here, too.
Non-financial information to list:
- Online accounts. Any financial sites that would be useful, or any community sites you would like to have informed about your death. Your online presence is a part of who you are.
- Email accounts. Will your survivors need to interact with anybody potentially contacting you? They will need your username and password, or most big providers won’t let them in.
- Social media. How many networks do you participate in? Do you want to disappear, or should all of your Facebook friends know your dead?
- Blogs. Do you have a blog that needs an announcement? Does it generate income? Could it be sold?
- Contact list. Who else needs to be informed of your demise? Don’t make your loved ones hunt for the information.
Now, take all of this information and put it in a nice, fat envelope and lock it in the fireproof safe you have bolted to the floor. Make a copy and give it to someone you trust absolutely. Make sure someone knows the combination to the safe or where to find the key.
Your loved ones will appreciate it.
5 Ways to Help Your Friends Stay Out of Debt
There’s a saying that you are the average of your 5 closest friends. Take a look at the people you hold dearest. Combined, they are you. If they are all in debt, chances are, so are you.
As a corollary, you are a part of your friends. If you become more financially responsible, it will rub off on the people who care about you.
Given these two rules, one way to improve yourself is to help those around you improve themselves. If your influence convinces your friends to move closer to your ideal, it will be easier, almost effortless to move closer to it, yourself.
It sound manipulative, but if you are manipulating your friends, you are doing it wrong. Don’t try to force or trick your friends, just be honest and sincere in your efforts to help. Nobody wants to be in debt. This is you being nice.
1. Suggest cheap activities.
While it is okay to splurge occasionally, don’t be afraid to suggest less expensive activities. If someone suggests going to a movie, mention the dollar theater. If they want to go out for dinner, offer to host a potluck. Trip to the casino? Game night at your house. There are almost always cheaper ways to have fun. As long as you are spending time with the people you love, you’ll have a good time. Do you really need to drop $100 to do that?
2. Don’t flaunt your toys.
If you buy an iPod and immediately run to show it off, you are going to trigger a case of “keeping up with the Joneses”. If your friends spend all of their time around people who are constantly buying expensive toys, buying expensive toys becomes normalized in their minds. Debt becomes the norm. Then extreme debt. Don’t reinforce the destructive debt cycle by showing off the expensive trophies of excessive, unnecessary consumerism.
3. Point out opportunities to save.
This is a fine line to walk. If mention how much money your friend is wasting on 13 shot venti soy hazelnut vanilla cinnamon white mochas with extra white mocha and caramel every single morning, you’re going to get annoying fast. In fact, you are already annoying me, so knock it off. On the other hand, if Caribou is having a sale on the 13 shot monstrosity, speak up. Nobody is going to complain about getting a $15 coffee for less than $10.
4. Give them a side hustle.
If you’ve got a friend who’s into landscaping and you’ve got a neighbor who needs a landscaper, make the connection! If you know a web designer and a business in need of a website, get them together. Do what you can to match the needs of the people around with each other. They will all appreciate it, and everyone will be better off. Be the guy who helps everyone connect with the people they need.
5. Be encouraging.
Put another way, don’t be a dick. Nobody likes being nagged. Nobody likes being told they are doing everything wrong. Be encouraging, not mean.
If you can do all of that, it’s natural that your friends will start acting the way you want yourself to act. The less they want to waste on a trip into debt, the less tempted you will be to do the same.
