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The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.
On the first and the fifteenth of every month, my paycheck is deposited into my bank account. Some fraction of it is saved, while another(larger) fraction is spent. They put the money in a vault and protect it from being stolen. Anything I manage to save and anything I haven’t managed to spend yet, will build interest. The bank pays me to keep my money there, even if it’s just for a short time. Why would they do that? If I asked you to hold on to $100 for me, in exchange for giving me $10 next week, you’d laugh at me. Right? If I told you that I was expecting you to keep that $100 heavily guarded in a locked room that requires a staff and utilities, you’d try to have me committed, yet that’s what banks do every day.
What’s in it for the bank?
Let’s start at the beginning. In the financial world, there are fundamentally two types of people: those who have money and those who need it.
The people who have money get it by producing something or otherwise providing value to someone for something. They then spend less than they made, leading to an accumulation of money. Woo! Rich people! Naturally, this money gets stuffed in a mattress for safe-keeping. Their money does nothing except collect dust and, occasionally, hungry insects. It is also used to soften a hard mattress.
People who need money have a few choices. They can beg for it, work for it, or steal it. The third option leads to perforation or imprisonment, so we won’t address that one. Now, you can work for your paycheck, like most adults, or you can go, hat in hand, to a charity and ask for money. But what if you want to start a business? You’ve invented the super-widget, a device guaranteed to revolutionize the world more than anything since sliced bread or the USB-powered pet rock. You got a concept and a prototype, you just don’t have the tooling or manpower to produce the millions of super-widgets the world will soon be beating a path to your door to own. You also lack a marketing budget to tell the world to stock up on path-beaters to make it to your door. What do you do?
Enter banks.
A bank will approach the first class of people and talk their money out of the mattresses and mayonnaise jars. They offer to hold the money for the people who have it. They will protect it from theft and they will pay the owner a fee for the privilege of holding on to the cash safely. Of course savers jump at the chance. They can quit worrying about the maid making the bed and becoming a millionaire and they can build wealth with no work. But wait…TANSTAAFL, right? You can’t get something for nothing. The world doesn’t work that way.
The bank takes your money–and the money of thousands of people like you–for safe-keeping. They pay you a fee, called interest. The rest, the loan out to the second group of people, the ones who need the money. They set aside some of the deposits so the owners can make withdrawals, but the rest goes into the loan-pool. People who need money come to the bank, explain their needs and demonstrate their ability to repay the loan, then they are given money for a fee, also called interest. The interest rate for the borrower is significantly higher–sometimes 20 times higher–than the interest paid to depositors. The difference between interest earned and interest paid is what pays the bank’s bills. That gap pays for the rent, taxes, and payroll.
Ultimately, a bank’s job is to connect the savers with the spenders in a way that’s reliable enough to ensure everybody benefits. If anybody in the chain ceases to benefit, the system collapses. Depositors switch back to using mattresses, borrowers go back to their loan-shark grandparents, and banks close their doors. This is the system that allows the entrepreneurial spirit to thrive, while making money for everyone involved.
“Walk on road, hm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later, [makes squish gesture] get squish just like grape. Here, karate, same thing. Either you karate do “yes”, or karate do “no”. You karate do “guess so”, [makes squish gesture] just like grape. Understand?” -Mr. Miyagi
It occurred to me that lately, I’ve changed my day-to-day cash flow plans a couple of times.
A year ago, I was running on a fairly strict cash-only plan.
A month ago, I was running on a strict budget, but doing it entirely out of my checking account.
Now, I’m loosening the budget reins, and moving all of my payments and day-to-day spending to a credit card, including a new balance that I can’t immediately pay off.
The thing is, changing plans too often scares me. Like the quote at the beginning of this post, I start worrying about being squished like a grape.
The simple fact is that any plan will work.
If you want to get out of debt, just pick a plan and run with it. If that means you follow Dave Ramsey and do the low-balance-first debt snowball, good for you. Do it. If you follow Suze Ormann and do a high-interest first repayment plan, great. Do it. If you follow Bach and pay based on a complicated DOLP formula to repay in the quickest manner, wonderful! Do it!
Just don’t switch plans every month. If you do that, you’ll lose momentum and motivation. Squish like grape! Just pick a plan and go. It really, truly does not matter which plan you are following as long as you are following through.
This applies to other parts of your life, too. For example, there are a thousand fad diets out there. Here’s a secret: they all work. Every single one of them, whether it’s Weight Watchers, slow carb, or the beer-only diet. The only thing that matters is that you stick to the diet. If you manage that, you will lose weight on any diet out there. Except for the jelly bean and lard diet. That one will make you extra soft.
Another secret: the productivity gurus are right. Every single one of them. David Allen, Stephen Covey, Steve Pavlina, and the rest. They all have the One True Secret to getting the most out of your day. Really. Pick a guru and go! But don’t try to Get Things Done in the morning and do 7 Habits at night. Changing systems, changing plans, changing your mind will make you sabotage yourself.
The real secret to accomplishing great things, whether it’s paying off $100,000 of debt, dropping 40 pounds in 3 months, or tripling your productivity is to do it. Just get started and, once you’ve started, don’t stop. If you keep going and stay consistent, you’ll accomplish more than anyone who hops from system to system every few weeks.
I’ve been walking though my analytics data. That is the Big Brother software I use to know everything about each one of my dear readers. It’s all part of my master plan to rule the world. Muwahaha!
Some of the results are interesting.
The single most-used search term to find this site is “slow carb diet“, which is great, because I really enjoyed writing that post. I’ve been slacking on the diet lately, but I’m still down more than 30 pounds. I’m currently ranked #3 in Google for this term. If I move up 2 more spots, I’ll outrank Tim Ferriss for his own product. If I aggregated all of the “slow carb” variations, this post probably accounts for more than half of my traffic from Google.
Many of you come here by searching for “how to have a perfect life“. I’ll do everything I can to help you achieve that, but it’s going to take work on your part. There are no shortcuts.
“Beat the Check” is another popular search term, but a very bad game to play. It’s almost impossible to win it, since the Check 21 Act of 2004.
It’s interesting that “trained husband” brings a few of you each month. My question: are you shopping, or exploring a new fetish? Don’t be shy.
I’m a bit amazed that “zombie wheels” is something people actually search for, but 140 people hit Google looking for that term every month, and a few of them make it over here.
“How to stretch a meal“, “things you should buy online“, and “unsecured loan advice” are some of the top personal finance terms bringing you all in, though “how to make a bunker” and its variation are popular, too.
“Hoe can you force your wife” is a bit disturbing. Most of the results are naturally for sex. I can’t help but hope that I’ve either really disappointed this visitor, or convinced him that force is a bad idea.
“How much did a pound of gold weigh in 1854?” is a search that makes me giggle. To the best of my knowledge, the troy scale has been used to weigh gold for a lot longer than that.
That was a fun little stroll through my statistics. Hopefully the fact that I used “fetish” and “sex” in a post will draw more crazy search terms.
How did you find me? Inquiring minds want to know, so please tell me in the comments.
Welcome to the Totally Money Carnival #5, the Superbowl Edition. It’s my privilege to be the first outside host for this carnival.
I don’t watch the Superbowl. I’ve never been into spectator sports unless I have some skin in the game. If I’m playing, or have some money riding on the outcome, I’m watching. Other than that, I’ll usually pass. Yesterday, a bunch of grown men in tights earning envy-inducing amounts of money ran around for a few hours in front of people, some of whom paid 5 figures for the privilege of watching. Yay!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpjaOUjUPUc
Mike Piper presents Protecting Your Private Files posted at Oblivious Investor, “How can you keep your sensitive documents (scanned tax returns, for instance) both backed up and protected in the event of computer theft?” Ed. I love this solution, and I use it. All of my tax returns, online receipts, and documents I don’t want to lose get treated this way.
Suzanne K. presents The Psychology of Why You Can’t Budget—And Five Tips to Help You Do It posted at PsychologyDegree.net. Ed. I’ve always been a fan of trying to understand what makes people tick.
Silicon Valley Blogger presents Prepare Your Tax Return: Tax Products vs Tax Pros posted at The Digerati Life, saying “If you don’t enjoy preparing your taxes, you’re not alone. There are various ways to get your tax returns done. How do you go about preparing your taxes: DIY or with the help of a pro?” Ed. Tax time sucks. If we abolished payroll deductions and made everybody in the country write a check to the IRS every year, there would be a revolt on the next April 15th.
Kevin McKee presents How To Know if Your Job is Expendable posted at Thousandaire, saying “When businesses start doing poorly, some people are at risk of losing their job, while others are safe. Find out which category you fall in with these simple questions.” Ed: I was given a demonstration that defines expendability in the workplace. Fill a glass with water and place it on the counter in front of you. Stick your finger in the glass. Now, pull it out. See the impression you’ve made? I’ve done the rockstar bit, and I’ve been in positions that were necessary for the profitability of larger divisions of large companies. It doesn’t matter. Corporate loyalty is a joke.
35% of people who attend the game write it off as a corporate expense. (source)
Miss T presents 5 Ways to Lower Your Monthly Bills | Prairie EcoThrifter.com posted at Prairie Eco-Thrifter, saying “Believe it or not, there are lots of ways to save money, no matter how much of it you have- or don’t have.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRYLhkOV2so
Tim Chen presents Pentagon Federal Offers Best Gas & Airfare Credit Card Rewards, Period. posted at NerdWallet Blog – Credit Card Watch, saying “There is only one credit card in America that offers no strings attached 5% cash back at any gas stations (excluding the likes of Costco) – the Pentagon Federal Platinum CashBack. It also gets you 2% back at grocery stores.”
Miranda presents Accelerate Your Credit Card Debt Pay Down posted at CreditScore.net, saying “Use these techniques to pay down your credit card debt faster.”
Buck Inspire presents Moving Up and On From Prepaid Debit Cards posted at Buck Inspire.
Ryan Hudson presents How I Got a Credit Card Late Fee Waived posted at Best Credit Cards IQ, saying “Don’t take accidental late fees laying down. Do something about it. Here’s how I got rid of my late fee.”
No network footage exists of Super Bowl I. It was taped over, supposedly for a soap opera.(source)
John presents Get Out of Debt Fast – How to Speed Up the Process posted at Passive Family Income, saying “There are quite a few people today that are beginning to dig their way out of debt. They have monitored their spending, created a budget, and have done the best that they can to stick with it. But, as many of you have experienced, the excitement of becoming debt-free gets pretty old after a while.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRDx18GYITw
Mike Collins presents Defined Benefit vs Defined Contribution posted at Saving Money Today, saying “Understanding the different types of retirement plans.”
Boomer presents 10 Ways For Women To Obtain Financial Empowerment posted at Boomer & Echo, “It’s not that difficult to get your financial life under control (your control). Remember, a man is not a financial plan.”
The Super Bowl is measured in Roman numerals because a football season runs the span over two calendar years. This year the season began in 2010 and ends in 2011. (source)
Madison DuPaix presents Substitute, Improvise, and Make Do With What You Have posted at My Dollar Plan, saying “So often, when we run out of things we need, we run to buy something or spend money when we don’t have to. Find out how you can avoid this trap.”
Money Beagle presents The Power Of The Free Calendar posted at Money Beagle.
Amanda L Grossman presents Homemade Diversion Safes: Save Money by Making Your Own posted at Frugal Confessions – Frugal Living, saying “You can purchase your own home security money safes (diversion safes), but I thought it would be more frugal and fun to think of ones to make on your own. See what I can do with a used deodorant!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQkK1UCH1EU
MoneyNing presents What Would You Do with a Million Dollars? posted at Money Ning, saying “I know what I would do with a million dollars. How about you?”
More drivers are involved in alcohol-related accidents on Super Bowl Sunday than any other day of the year (except St. Patrick’s Day), according to the Insurance Information Institute. (source)
Joe Morgan presents Is Gen Y Irresponsible, Or Is It A Matter Of Perspective? posted at Simple Debt-Free Finance, saying “Generation Y has a reputation for having a sense of entitlement, but here’s one reason it may just be a matter or perspective.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_78ylMLa0JQ
Ryan @ MFN presents Roth IRA Qualifications posted at The Military Wallet, saying “Are you qualified to open a Roth IRA? Find out income and contribution requirements to see if you are eligible!”
Brian @ BeBetterNow presents Money’s Golden Rule: Spend Less Than You Earn posted at Be Better Now, “In the end, most personal finance advice boils down to spending less than you earn. Here’s another article to reinforce that.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g364TG_8Qmw
Barb Friedberg presents Wealth in Life: 25 Cheap Ideas for Fun posted at Barbara Friedberg Personal Finance, “Join in to build a massive list of low cost fun!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55e-uHQna0
PT presents Tax on Unemployment Compensation posted at PT Money, saying “A detailed look at what taxes are due on your unemployment compensation.”
Ken presents Important Tax Update for 2010 You Don’t Want To Miss posted at Spruce Up Your Finances, saying “A few of the tax provisions applicable to tax year 2010 such as the extension of tax filing date, expanded tax benefits, phase out on some limitations, etc.”
Fanny presents Top 10 Tax Deductions for Parents posted at Living Richly on a Budget, “Being a parent is one of the most important roles in life. Why not take advantage of all the deductions you qualify for?”
Thank you all for participating! Next week’s host is Saving Money Today, so be sure to submit your posts.
I don’t attach much importance to dreams. They are just there to make sleepy-time less boring. Last night, I had a dream where I spent most of my time trying to prepare my wife to run our finances before telling my son that I wouldn’t be around to watch him grow up. That’s an unpleasant thought to wake up with. Lying there, trying to digest this dream, I started thinking about the transition from “I deal with the bills” to “I’m not there to deal with it”. We aren’t prepared for that transition. Last year, we started putting together our “In case of death” file, but that project fell short. The highest priorities are done. We have wills and health directives, but how would my wife pay the bills? Everything is electronic. Does she know how to log in to the bank’s billpay system? Which bills are only in my name, and will go away if I die? Is there a list of our life insurance policies?
I checked the incomplete file that contains this information. It hasn’t been updated since September. It’s time to get that finished. Procrastinating is inappropriate and denial is futile. Here’s a news flash: You are going to die. Hopefully, it won’t happen soon, but it will happen. Is your family prepared for that?
The questions are “What do I need?” and “What do I have?”
First and foremost, you need a will. If you have children and do not have a will, take a moment–right now– to slap yourself. A judge is not the best person to determine where your children should go if you die. The rest of it is minor, if you’re married. Let your next-of-kin, your spouse keep it. I don’t care. Just take care of your kids! Set up a trust to pay for the care of your children. Their new guardians will appreciate it. How hard is it to set up? I use Quicken Willmaker and have been very pleased. Of course, the true test is in probate court, and I won’t be there for it. If you are more comfortable getting an attorney, then do so. I’ve done it each way. You can cut some costs by using Willmaker, then taking it to an attorney for review.
It’s a sad fact that often, before you die, you spend some time dying. Do you have a health care directive? Does your family know, in writing, if and when you want the plug pulled? Who gets to make that decision? Have you set up a medical power of attorney, so someone can make medical decisions on your behalf if you aren’t able? Do you want, and if so, do you have a Do-Not-Resuscitate order? Willmaker will handle all of this, too.
What’s going to happen to your bank accounts? I’m personally a fan of keeping both of our names on all of our accounts. I share my life and my heart, I’d better be able to trust her with our money. If that’s not an option, for whatever reason, fill out the “Payable on Death” information for your accounts, establishing a beneficiary who can get access to your money if you die. Do you want your spouse to lose the house or the car if you die? Should your kids have to miss meals? Make sure necessary access to your money exists.
Does anybody know what you have for life insurance? Get a copy of the policy and make sure your spouse and someone else knows what company holds it and how much it is worth.
Now, it’s time to make some lists. You need to gather account numbers and contact information for everything.
Non-financial information to list:
Now, take all of this information and put it in a nice, fat envelope and lock it in the fireproof safe you have bolted to the floor. Make a copy and give it to someone you trust absolutely. Make sure someone knows the combination to the safe or where to find the key.
Your loved ones will appreciate it.