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30 Day Project Summary – January

This month, I had two 30 Day Projects: Get up at 5am and read to my kids before bed every night.

Getting up at 5 wasn’t as hard as I had feared. I’ve never been a morning person, but this was nice.  I got a chance to wake up slowly, catch up on the world, make breakfast and get to work without feeling rushed.  Those are all good things.   I missed twice.  The first time, I rolled over to get out of bed and didn’t make it.  Somehow, I got stuck halfway through rolling over.    The second time, I was up until after 2AM talking with my wife.  I won’t give up that kind of quality time.  When the alarm went off at 5, I gave myself two more hours.

The really interesting part, at least to me, is that I didn’t go to bed earlier most nights.   This actually added an extra 90 minutes to my day. I’m going to keep this habit up.  I may not be as firm about it every day, but it’s going to be my regular habit.  No more snooze alarm, no more wasting half of my day in bed.

Reading to the kids was harder.  Wrestling season started this month, which means we spend a lot more time chasing around to get our 10 year old where he needs to be.  After the first week, the bedtime requirement went out the window.  I decided to read to the girls whenever there was time, which made it work better.  We chose practicality over strictly adhering to the letter of the goal.  Over the course of the month, I missed 5 nights which isn’t too bad.

“Get a book” has turned into one of my girls’ favorite things to hear.  They both run giggling for the bookshelf.  It’s quiet time.  It’s quality time.  It’s teaching them to enjoy one of my favorite activities.    Never turn down an opportunity to read to a child. It may be the only time they sit still all day and the experience will stick with both of your forever.   The little things matter. A girl’s head on each shoulder and a book in front of us is something is something I will treasure forever and something that I am going to work to continue.   I only have a few more years before they are reading on their own and won’t need Daddy for this anymore.

What’s in it for me?

Fez (video game)
Image via Wikipedia

Lately my son has been in full-on greed mode. It seems like every time I talk to him he asks me to give him something buy him something, do something.

“Dad, can you buy me a Yu-Gi-Oh card?”

“Dad, can you buy me a videogame?”

“Dad, can I get this?”

“Dad, can I get that?”

That is really kind of obnoxious. My response has turned into “What’s in it for me?”

Really, he’s constantly asking for stuff and he’s trying to provide no value back.  What kind of lesson would I be teaching him by handing him everything he’s asking for?  So, I’ve decided to make him come up with a value proposition: “What’s in it for me?”

Now, when he asks me to buy him a video game, I ask what’s in it for me.

Sometimes, he comes back with “Well nothing, you just love me.” That is garbage.  I’m not going to buy him stuff just as because I love him and teach them that you can buy someone’s affection or that you should be paying for someone’s affection.

Other times he comes back with “If you buy me video game, I will clean all of the poop out of the backyard.” (We have a dog.  I’m not messy.) That seems like a much better deal.

Other times, he reminds me that I owe him back-allowance.  That one’s a given.  If I owe him more than whatever he is asking for, he’s going to get it.

Sometimes, he’ll say that he willing to do a bunch of extra chores or something, but he is learning that he needs to trade value for value instead of assuming that every whim he’s got is going to be indulged by me just because I’m his parent and I’ve been generous in the past.

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Becoming a Landlord

For those of you just tuning in, my mother-in-law died in April.

Since then, we’ve spent nearly every available moment at our inherited house, digging out and cleaning up.

My mother-in-law was a compulsive hoarder.   I’m not going to get into the details of her compulsion, but we have–so far–filled a 30 yard dumpster.  For perspective, that’s big enough to fit our Ford F150.

Now that the house is approaching the point where we can begin updating and remodeling, I’ve been looking into the requirements to rent it out.

In my city, I need to get a business license that costs $95 per year.   This comes with a requirement to allow the city to inspect the property every two years.

Before they will issue the license, I have to take an 8 hour Minnesota Crime Free Multi-Housing Program class that covers tenant screening, lease addendum, evictions, and “etcetera”, followed by a physical audit of the property to ensure minimum security standards.

The lease addendum basically reads “If you are loud, obnoxious, threatening, criminal, intimidating, or doing/dealing drugs, you will be evicted.”

The actual costs to become a landlord are going to be:

  • Something under $100 for my wife and I to take the landlord class.  The price varies from free to $40, depending on the hosting city.
  • $95 per year for the privilege of using our private property to conduct a private transaction with a private individual.
  • The remodel.  I don’t know what this is going to cost, yet.   There’s an unfinished bathroom in the unfinished basement.  I’d like to finish both of those, though the basement will never hold a 3rd bedroom, due to code.  The entire house need to be painted and have the trim replaced.  The dining room and hallway have hardwood floors, hiding under linoleum that was never properly put down.   We may need new windows.

If possible, I’d like to keep the project under $20,000.   Since we’re not adding a 3rd bedroom, or tearing out the kitchen cabinets, it should be possible.

In the meantime, expect to see a bunch of remodeling and renting related posts coming up.

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Twitter Weekly Updates for 2010-06-19

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  • RT @bitfs: Weekly Favorites and Gratitude!: My Favorite Posts this Week Jeff at Deliver Away Debt threw together the .. http://bit.ly/9J0gGo #
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  • Baseless claims, biased assumptions, poor understanding of history. Don't bother. #AnimalSpirits #KeynesianCult #
  • RT @zappos: Super exciting! "Delivering Happiness" hit #1 on NY Times Bestseller list! Thanks everyone! Details: http://bit.ly/96vEfF #
  • @ericabiz Funny, we found a kitten in a box last week. Unfortunately, it was abandoned there, not playing. Now, we have a 5th cat. in reply to ericabiz #

Experiences v. Stuff

Image by hunterseakerhk via Flickr

On Friday, I went to see Evil Dead: The Musical with some friends.   The play obviously isn’t a good match for everyone, but we are all horror movie fans, I’m a Bruce Campbell fan, and all of us had seen and enjoyed at least Army of DarknessIt was a good fit for us.

The play, followed by a late dinner and drinks with people I care about, was easily the most money my wife and I have spent on a night out in years.  That’s including an overnight trip for my cousin’s wedding.

Now, several days later, I keep thinking about that night, but not with regret about the price.   I keep thinking about the fun I had with my wife and some of our closest friends.   We saw a great play that had us in stitches.  We had a few hours of good conversation.  We had a good time.  I would happily do it all over again.  In fact, I would happily reorganize our budget to make something similar happen every month.

I don’t remember the last time I spent 3 or 4 days happily thinking about something I bought.

I look around my house at the years of accumulated crap we own and I see a big rock tied around my neck.    Even after a major purge this spring, we’ve got more stuff than we can effectively store, let alone use.  When something new comes in the house, we spend days discussing whether we really need it or if it should get returned.   When we plan a big purchase, we debate it, sometimes for weeks.

Getting stuff is all about stress.

My wife and I are both familiar with the addictive endorphin rush that comes with some forms of shopping.    I wish the rational recognition of a shopping addiction was enough to make it go away.  Buying stuff makes us feel good for a few minutes, while high-quality experiences make us feel good for days or weeks, and gives us things to talk about for years to come.

It’s really not a fair competition between experiences and stuff.   Experiences are the hands-down winner for where we should be spending our money.

Why then, does stuff always seem to come out ahead when it comes to where our money actually goes?