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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Money Problems – Day 2: What’s Going Out?

Finance

Today, I continuing the series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances. The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances. It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear. Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

I’m not running the series in 30 consecutive days. That’s not my schedule. Also, I think that talking about the same thing for 30 days straight will bore both of us. Instead, it will run roughly once a week. To make sure you don’t miss a post, please take a moment to subscribe, either by email or rss.

On this, day 2 of the series, you need to gather all of your bills: your electric bill, your mortgage, the rent for your storage unit, everything. Don’t miss any.

Go ahead, grab them now. I’ll wait.

Did you remember that thing that comes in the plain brown wrapper every month? You know, that thing you always hope your neighbors won’t notice?

Now, you’re going to sort all of the bills into 5 piles.

Pile #1: These are your monthly bills. This will probably be your biggest pile, since most bills are organized to get paid monthly. this will include your credit cards, mortgage(do you rent or buy?), most utilities and your cellphone.

Pile #2: Weekly expenses. When I look at my actual weekly bills, it’s a small stack. Just daycare. However, there are a lot of other expenses to consider. This stack should include your grocery bill, gas for your car, and anything else you spend money on each week.

Pile #3: Quarterly and semiannual bills. I’ve combined these because there generally aren’t enough bills to warrant two piles. My only semi-annual bill is my property tax payment. Quarterly bills could include water & sewer, maybe a life insurance policy and some memberships.

Pile #4: Annual bills. This probably won’t be a large pile. It will usually include just some memberships and subscriptions.

Pile #5: Irregular bills. The are some things that just don’t come due regularly. In our house, school lunches and car repairs fall into this category. We don’t have car problems often, but we set money aside each month so our budget doesn’t get flushed down the drain if something does come up.

Now that you have all of your expenses together, you know what your are on the hook for. Next time, we’ll address income.

Money Problems: Day 11 – Extended Warranties

Finance

PACCAR Parts-Extended Warranty — Image by TruckPR via Flickr

Today, I am continuing the series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances. The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances. It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear. Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

On this, Day 11, we’re going to talk about extended warranties.

You’ve been there. You walk into a big box electronics store to buy a $10 cable for your DVD player and the boy in blue at the register tries to pressure you into spending $4 on an extended warranty in case the cable dies due to too much adult video…or something.

The same nameless blue and yellow store is currently selling a laptop for $349 with a 2 year extended warranty for $89. The sales pitch usually goes something along the line of “These things have a tendency to break. You need a warranty to make it worth purchasing.” Thanks, jerk. You just sent me to a competitor since your sales pitch involves telling me you’re selling garbage.

Seriously, getting an extended warranty on electronics is almost always a bad deal. Yes, almost 30% of laptops fail within three years. Most of those fail in the 3rd year. What’s a 2 year warranty going to do for you then? New laptops generally come with a 1 year warranty from the factory. That leaves you volunteering for a 25% markup in exchange for protecting your device for a year that is not statistically likely to include a laptop failure.

A much better idea is to create a warranty/repair fund. When you buy something and have a warranty offered, turn it down and put that money in a special savings account. That money will get set aside to repair your stuff when it breaks. If you do that with everything you buy, you’ll soon have a fund that can pay for most repairs, without stressing your budget. I’ve got $25 going into my repair fund every month, so I’ll never have to worry about an extended warranty again.

It’s called a self-warranty.

But what about a car warranty you ask?

This is where I differ from most people. I’m a fan of extended warranties on cars, with 2 caveats.

1. Use it. If you car has started shaking, knocking, or almost anything else, bring it in. You have a warranty, so get your dang car fixed. When you’re getting close to the end of your warranty, make up an excuse and get that car into the dealer. “My car’s making an intermittent knocking sound. Can you fix it? While you’re at it, please do your 90,000 point inspection and fix whatever you find.” There’s no reason that you can’t get your car running like new when it kicks over the 70,000 mile mark.

2. Negotiate it. The charge you see is typically twice the dealer’s cost. Let them make some profit, since that’s what makes the world go round, but don’t let them take advantage of you. If they offer you a warranty for $2000, counter with $1200.

If you can get a decent price and are willing to make sure you use the auto warranty, get it.

How do you feel about extended warranties? Please leave a comment below and let me know.

Money Problems: Day 10 – Debt Insurance

Finance

On this, Day 10, we’re going to talk about debt insurance.

Debt insurance is insurance you pay for that will pay your lender in the event of your death, dismemberment, disfigurement, disembowelment, or unemployment. Exactly what is covered varies by insurer, type of debt, and what you are willing to pay for.

Private Mortgage Insurance(PMI) is a common form of debt insurance. Generally, if you take out a mortgage with a down payment under 20%, you’ll be expected to pay for PMI. According to the Homeowners Protection Act of 1998, you have the right to request your PMI be cancelled after reducing your loan amount to 78% of the appraised value of the property. That ensures that the lender will be able to recoup their money by seizing the mortgaged property if you should happen to fall under a bus or get hit by a meteorite.

Another common form of debt insurance is for your credit cards. Card companies love it when you buy their insurance. If you buy their life insurance, your card is paid off when you die. Disability insurance pays it if your get hurt. Unemployment insurance…you get the idea.

Here’s the deal: Get life insurance and disability insurance separately. It’s cheaper than getting it through your credit card company and let’s you get enough to actually live on if something tragic happens. Unless, of course, you die. Then it will leave enough for your heirs to live on.

As far as unemployment insurance, build up your emergency fund instead. That’s money that gives you options. Credit card insurance is money flushed down the toilet. Many of these policies cost 1% of your balance. If you’ve got a $5,000 balance, that will mean you are paying $50 per month. By comparison, if you’ve got a 9.9% interest rate, you’ll be paying about $40 per month in interest.

Debt insurance is a bad idea, if you can possibly avoid it. A combination of life insurance, disability insurance, and an emergency fund provide better protection with more flexibility.

Your task for today is to review your credit card statements and mortgage agreement and see if you are paying debt insurance on any of it. If you are, cancel and set up the proper insurance policies to protect yourself and your family.

Best of Money Carnival #87, the Gold Rush Edition

Misc

: Image via Wikipedia

Welcome to the Best of Money Carnival #87, the Gold Rush Edition.

On January 24th, 1848, gold was discovered in Coloma, California by construction overseer James W. Marshall. The following year, one hundred thousand people moved to California to either strike it rich, or profit from those who were trying to strike it rich. The gold rush began 163 years ago today.

10. N.W. Journey presents Business use of Home Deduction posted at Networth Journey and says, “How to deduct your business home expenses.”

Some people recommend stockpiling gold so you’ll have something of value to spend after society as we know it collapses. Does anyone know how to make change from a gold bar for a loaf of bread?

9. Darwin presents Present Value of Money Explained – MBA Monday posted at Darwin’s Money and says, “One of the most important financial concepts is also one of the most misunderstood. Make sure you understand the Present value of Money – with these real life examples. It will save you thousands!”

In 1854, a 195 pound gold nugget was found at Carson Hill in California. It was valued at $43,534. That would be worth $3,160,357.20 today.

8. RJ Weiss presents What Your Optimal Income? posted at Gen Y Wealth and says, “An exercise to find your optimal income level.”

Q: Which weighs more: a pound of feathers, or a pound of gold? A: A pound of feathers. Gold is weighed using Troy Weight, which only has 12 ounces per pound.

7. BWL presents How To Select A Financial Advisor posted at Christian Personal Finance and says, “Find out how to select the best financial adviser for you.”

Until the onset of modern electronics, which use gold because it doesn’t corrode or tarnish, gold had no practical value of its own. Its entire value resided in the fact that it was pretty and relatively scarce.

6. Miss T presents 10 Ways to $ave Energy Comfortably | Prairie EcoThrifter.com posted at Prairie Eco-Thrifter and says, “How great is it to save money and the planet at the same time?!”

Q: Which weighs more: a ounce of feathers, or a ounce of gold? A: A ounce of gold. Troy Weight has fewer ounces that avoirdupois, but each ounce weighs more. There are 31.1 grams in a Troy ounce, but only 28.4 grams in a standard ounce.

5. Craig Ford presents Employers Look at Credit Reports | Ludicrous or Smart Business? posted at Money Help For Christians and says, “Should employers be able to see your credit report?”

Outside of collectible or government-issued coins, gold is priced according to it’s spot price, which fluctuates constantly. Dealers will generally pay a percentage under spot when buying gold, then sell for a percentage over spot. Always know the spot price of gold before you agree to buy or sell any.

4. MoneyNing presents Tax Time: Do I Have to Report that Income? posted at Money Ning and says, “Did you receive any income last year? Do you really have to report everything?”

Gold is the 58th most rare natural element, out of 92.

3. Silicon Valley Blogger presents I Just Lost My Job! How I’m Downsizing My Household Expenses posted at The Digerati Life and says, “I share my story of job loss and what ideas I have for paring down my expenses in order to cope with this loss of income. In the meantime, I’m doing what I can to find a new job!”

Only 20% of the gold from the Gold Rush deposits has been reclaimed. The rest is still out there.

2. The Financial Blogger presents 5 Reasons Why You Need A Partner In Your Business posted at The Financial Blogger and says, “A post outlining the benefits of a business partner.”

As of the end of 2009, more than 160,000 tons of gold have been mined, most of which was done in the latter half of the 20th century.

And the winner is…

1. Amanda L Grossman presents Frugal Lessons from People Who Survived the Great Depression posted at Frugal Confessions – Frugal Living and says, “Have you ever met someone who was alive during the Great Depression? They are changed people. The Great Depression left a great impression on their thoughts, their styles, and their habits. I am fascinated by this time period, and researched the question of what frugal habits these people developed to survive.”

I’d like to thank everyone who participated. Next week’s host is PT Money, so don’t forget to submit your entry!

Kids Are Temporary

Life, Parenting, Relationships

Have you ever watched someone go nuts after they have kids?

I mean, even after the I-haven’t-slept-more-than-20-minutes-in-a-row-for-3-months stage of babydom?

These people dedicate their lives to their kids. They sacrifice all of their hopes and dreams and focus on the brats. They can’t have a date night because little Sally might get lonely without mommy and daddy. Can’t have a hobby because Johnny’s on the traveling soccer team. Can’t get laid because it’s a family bed and that’s kind of creepy when the kids are right there.

Everything for the kids.

As they grow, it gets worse. You spend more time helping with homework and less time talking to your wife. More time playing chauffeur, less time playing doctor.

It’s a nasty cycle, and it comes with an abrupt stop.

What happens when school’s out? Little Johnny graduates with a dual degree in Practical Philosophy and Experimental Art History, gets a job at the local Stab-and-Grab, gets married, and starts a family.

When that happens, parents suddenly become “extended family”. The kid has a life of his own and probably doesn’t need his clothes picked out in the morning, a ride to soccer practice, or someone to write his name in his underwear.

This is planned. It is–in theory–the reason we raise our kids. It shouldn’t be a surprise, even if it is a bit of a shock.

Can you survive it? Can your marriage?

If you’ve spent the last 20 years of your life pretending you are nothing but a system for delivering food, rides, and gadgets for your kids, what are you going to do with your time when they are busy pretending they are that system for their kids? If you’ve never developed a hobby, are you going to go extra-special, bat-**** crazy now?

For 20 years, have all of your conversations been about your kids? Have all of your outings been birthday parties? Will you have anything to say to your spouse when the kids are gone?

Your kids are temporary.

They are important. They are your genetic legacy and the people who will choose your nursing home. Don’t neglect them, but you do have to hold something back. Make time for yourself. Make time for your husband or your wife. Or both, if you can make that work.

When your kids are working 90 hour weeks building a new career, or hustling 4 kids to 10 after-school activities, your life doesn’t get to revolve around them.

All you’ve got is yourself and your wife. If she’s not feeling secure about your feelings now, when she loses the distraction of puke in her hair, that insecurity will blossom in unpleasant ways. If you can’t find a conversation that doesn’t involve the kids now, the silence will be blistering when you eventually lose that crutch.

If you don’t have a hobby, get one.

If you don’t have a relationship with your wife, get one. Take her on a date tonight. Your kids are temporary, your marriage shouldn’t be. This is the rest of your life. Make it worthwhile.