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The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.
If you’re like millions of people who saw Miley Cyrus’s performance at the MTV Video Music Awards recently, you’ve probably wondered what the effect of massive success on the music and acting star. Cyrus seems to be
doing everything possible to remake her image in the exact opposite of her squeaky clean mold that Disney and other companies have created for her over the last several years. (A rumor has it that Disney even created a contractual obligation for Cyrus to maintain a certain haircut during her “Hannah Montana” television show.) There’s a sense of someone taking on their first sense of independence, and running with it — the star seemed to be sending the message to the audience that she was not going to live according to the expectations of others anymore, and from the look of it, they got that message loud and clear.
The fact that Cyrus is barely into her 20s should tell you something about how much time she has to develop her career. She has enough to retire at an age when most people are just starting their first real job. And that is a tough position to be in. If she is hoping to push her singing and acting career well into adulthood — as most artists would like to — it may be that she is trying to make her mark now. Think of it a bit like Bob Dylan in 1964, releasing electric music for the first time, when before that point he was primarily known as a folk singer making gentle acoustic music.
Dylan’s idea may have been a bit like what Cyrus’ is. That is to say, maybe Miley Cyrus is trying to avoid becoming a has-been, a relic of the 2000’s who burned out playing inoffensive pop music. If this is the case, Cyrus may be able to shift her career into a different mode by showing herself to be an uncompromising artist. Remember that even the greats of the past — Frank Sinatra for example — were once viewed as essentially music for teenagers, and not serious artists. Sinatra even suffered career failure in his 20’s when his audience grew up and moved on to other things. But he came back to record success when he began allowing his music to mature and his ideas to gain focus. If Cyrus can pull such a move, she may not be remembered as a teeny-bopper, but as a serious artist.
I’ve been walking though my analytics data. That is the Big Brother software I use to know everything about each one of my dear readers. It’s all part of my master plan to rule the world. Muwahaha!
Some of the results are interesting.
The single most-used search term to find this site is “slow carb diet“, which is great, because I really enjoyed writing that post. I’ve been slacking on the diet lately, but I’m still down more than 30 pounds. I’m currently ranked #3 in Google for this term. If I move up 2 more spots, I’ll outrank Tim Ferriss for his own product. If I aggregated all of the “slow carb” variations, this post probably accounts for more than half of my traffic from Google.
Many of you come here by searching for “how to have a perfect life“. I’ll do everything I can to help you achieve that, but it’s going to take work on your part. There are no shortcuts.
“Beat the Check” is another popular search term, but a very bad game to play. It’s almost impossible to win it, since the Check 21 Act of 2004.
It’s interesting that “trained husband” brings a few of you each month. My question: are you shopping, or exploring a new fetish? Don’t be shy.
I’m a bit amazed that “zombie wheels” is something people actually search for, but 140 people hit Google looking for that term every month, and a few of them make it over here.
“How to stretch a meal“, “things you should buy online“, and “unsecured loan advice” are some of the top personal finance terms bringing you all in, though “how to make a bunker” and its variation are popular, too.
“Hoe can you force your wife” is a bit disturbing. Most of the results are naturally for sex. I can’t help but hope that I’ve either really disappointed this visitor, or convinced him that force is a bad idea.
“How much did a pound of gold weigh in 1854?” is a search that makes me giggle. To the best of my knowledge, the troy scale has been used to weigh gold for a lot longer than that.
That was a fun little stroll through my statistics. Hopefully the fact that I used “fetish” and “sex” in a post will draw more crazy search terms.
How did you find me? Inquiring minds want to know, so please tell me in the comments.
Hayden Panettiere has formally announced her engagement! The starlet will be marrying Vladimir Klitschko, who is a world renowned boxer that has won an Olympic gold medal. The unexpected public revelation has sparked rumor trails regarding glitzy wedding plans. While no date has been set, and nothing has been confirmed, there is widespread speculation that the event is going to be glamorously over-the-top.
Although Panettiere’s fiance is 13 years older than her, it is the first marriage for both partners. This may instill extra incentive for the couple to make their officiation an extremely flashy occasion. Because Klitschko is a famous Ukrainian athlete, he will also be anticipating a magnificently choreographed wedding. Both individuals could invest fortunes in perfecting their walk down the aisle together.
Of course, one of the biggest decisions that Panettiere faces is the selection of her gown. All eyes will be on the fabric that she chooses for this special day. If they go through with a public wedding, the dress will be permanently immortalized in global media. She is going to want to show off flawless class, glimmering austerity and sizzling sultriness. Fashion critics are eagerly anticipating her selection. The high-end designer that she picks will receive a tremendous boost in popularity, especially if she pulls off a beautiful presentation.
A crazy wedding would be completely in character for the young television star. Her most known role was a bubbly cheerleader on the long-running series, “Heroes.” With vivacious charm, she became a sex symbol across the country. Explosiveness is simply a part of her personality, so a bombastic celebration is to be expected. Furthermore, Ukrainian wedding parties have a tendency to be more raucous than American traditions. If they follow any of the groom’s cultural practices, the event could become out of control.
The massive ring on Panettiere’s finger indicates no desire for privacy regarding this affair. In fact, it was an invitation for the mainstream media to cover the entire ordeal. This hints that the couple might be planning a gigantic wedding event. They can easily afford it, and the public celebrations will rapidly enhance the star’s critical acclaim.
In contrast, a private exchange of vows would disappoint her legions of fans. Furthermore, paparazzi could still infiltrate the wedding to snap pictures. To avoid any uninvited intrusions, the couple should be open to media coverage during their nupital arrangements. This will let them control the event, and allow them to recoup some of the expenses through lucrative network contracts. Regardless of how they conduct the wedding, it is certain that the whole world will be diligently watching with admiration, and perhaps a slight tinge of jealousy.
I’m a debtor.
I’d like that to be otherwise, but I’m pretty close to the limit of what I can do to change that. Don’t get me wrong, it’s changing, but there is a limit to how many side projects I can take on at one time. So, I’m in debt and likely to stay that way for the next couple of years.
As part of my budget, I set up a few categories of items that are either necessities or “really wants” without being immediate expenses. For example, I’m setting aside some money each month for car repairs, even though my car isn’t currently broken. When it comes time to fix something, I hope to have the money available to fix it, without having to scramble or <spit> tap into my emergency fund.
All told, I have about a dozen of these categories set up, each as a separate INGDirect savings account. Twice a month, a few hundred dollars gets transferred over and divided among the savings goals. Most of these goals are short-term; they will be spent within the year, like the account for my property taxes. Some of them are open-ended, like my car repair fund. Some are open ended, but will eventually end, like the fund to finance my son’s braces. All of the accounts are slowly growing.
As I’ve watched the progress of my savings accounts, I’ve noticed something funny.
It may only be a few thousand dollars, but it’s more money than I have ever had saved. The vast majority of this money will be spent over the next few years, but having it there, now means that I have tomorrow covered. For the first time in my life, I’m not living paycheck to paycheck. No matter what happens, I know I can make ends meet for a couple of months. That fact alone has reduced my stress level more than I could have imagined.
Two years ago, I was sure I was going to file bankruptcy. Now, I’m looking at being just two years away from having all of my debt gone. I have faith that my future will be bright, and only getting brighter. If I can dig myself out of this hole once, I can do it again, no matter what happens.
This has brought a calm that I can’t easily explain. I don’t have to worry about where next week’s groceries are going to come from, or how we’re going to afford braces in a couple of years.
Having an emergency fund and some auxiliary funds has been entirely worth the work we’ve done for last two years. Have you noticed any changes as you pay off your debt and build savings?
Everyone needs an emergency fund. More than that, you will eventually need retirement savings, a new car, a big-screen TV, or maybe just a new kidney. Whatever the reason, one day, have a comfortable savings account will make your life easier.
But, Jason, you say, it’s hard to save money! How can I start saving when I can’t make ends meet? I’ve got rent, 9 kids, and a DVD addiction that won’t quit. My mortgage is underwater, my Mercedes still has 8 years on the loan, and the Shoe-of-the-Month Club only carries Christian Louboutin’s. What can I do?
Well, I’ll reply, since I am Jason and you asked for me by name, you need to find a way to make it happen. I’d never recommend someone give up their diamond-studded kicks, but something’s gotta give. In the meantime, there are some ways you can save money without feeling the sting of delayed gratification.
1. Save your raise. When you get your next raise, pretend you didn’t. Set up an automatic transfer to stick that new 5% straight into a savings account. Don’t give yourself an opportunity to spend it.
2. Find it, hide it. When your Aunt Gertrude dies and leaves your her extensive collection of California Raisins figurines, sell them and save the money. If you find a $20 bill on the ground, throw it right into your savings account. When your 30th lottery ticket of the week gives you a $10 prize, save it! Don’t waste found money on luxuries. Use it to build your future.
3. Let it lapse. Do you have magazine subscriptions you never read? Or a gym membership you haven’t used since last winter? Panty-of-the-Month? Crack dealer who delivers? Stop paying them! Let those wasted services fall to the wayside and put the money to better use. I don’t mean flipping QVC products on eBay, either. Save the money.
4. Jar of 1s. Roughly once a week, I dig through my pockets and my money clip looking for one dollar bills. Any that I find go in a box to be forgotten. I use that box as walking-around money for our annual vacation, but it could easily get repurposed as a temporary holding tank for money I haven’t gotten to the bank, yet.
5. Round it up. Do you balance your checkbook? If you don’t, start. If you do, start doing it wrong. Round up all of your entries to the nearest dollar. $1.10 gets recorded as $2. $25.75 goes in as $26. If you use your checkbook or debit card 100 times a month, that’s going to be close to $75 saved with absolutely no effort. It even makes recording your spending easier.
There you have it, 5 easy ways to save money that won’t cause you a moment’s pain.
Do you have any tricks to help you save money?