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The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.

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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.
Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?
Me: Yes?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: May I ask what that was for?
FMe: Of course.
Me: What was that for, jerk?
FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.
Me: What?!?  I’ve never even met you, before.
FMe: Of course you have.  I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.
Me: Huh?
FMe: Listen close.  You’re not  the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.
Me: ???
FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.
Me: I don’t appreciate….
FMe: Shut up.  I was dumb then, too.  Remember?  You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year.  On top of many other expensive decisions.  Do your recall?
Me: Yes, I do.  So what?
FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car.  Your kids wear new clothes.  You’ve got a house full of new furniture.  How did you pay for all of that?
Me: Naturally, I charged it.  Zero payments, zero interest for a year!  Pretty smart, huh?
FMe: What happens in a year?
Me: I don’t know.  I’ve got a full year to figure that out.
FMe: <Slap!>  I’ll tell you what happens!  Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed!   Your raise didn’t come through.  You had a baby. The truck broke down.  Your wife took maternity leave.  A roommate moved out.  You took a loss in the stock market.  You didn’t plan!  You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.
Me: How was I to know?
FMe: <Slap!>  Life happens!  You never know what is coming next.  You need to plan and save for what might happen.  Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly.  That is not acceptable.
Me:  So?  What are you going to do about it?
FMe: <Slap!>
Me: Really?  Again?
FMe: <Slap!>  I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help.  Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux.  My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford.   You’ve screwed me, dude.
Me: I’m sorry.  What can I do to fix it?
FMe: Buy me dinner, first.
Me: Huh?!?!?
FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change.  No credit.
Me: None?
FMe: None.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  Only spend what you can afford. Budget.  Pay off those nasty bills.  Don’t leave me hanging.
Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?
FMe: Exactly.  That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence.  Live in the real world.
Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me!  Now I know.
FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

 

Budgeting Sucks

Finance

Image via Wikipedia

Budgeting kind of sucks.

Filling out a budgeting spreadsheet, putting in all of your expenses, listing all of your income,  tracking all of your spending.   Yuck.

Balancing the fact that you may have $200 to spare, but if your gas bill is a bit lower one month then you have a some more money, but if your electric bill’s a little bit high, then you have a little bit less.  It’s too much work.

Here’s the new plan:

I just opened up a new credit card. This credit card’s got a fairly high limit, not that I care since I’m never going to come close to the limit. It’s got an okay interest rate, not that I care–it’s going to be paid off every month.  It also has a good travel rewards plan, so our family vacations can, to a large extent, be paid for.

Now, with this card, I’m taking all of my regular bills, and setting them up to be automatically paid by the credit card.   It’ll get automatically charged every month.  I won’t have to think about it.  Once a month, I’ll just log on and pay off the card.   All I have to do is make sure the  balance stays under my monthly budgeted amount.  I already know what I have to be paying each month, so, no problem.

This will make it easier to budget and  track my actual spending.  It’ll even make it easier to balance my checkbook, since right now, I’m logging into my bank account a couple of times a month to compare it to Quicken.   Any budget helper is nice.

After this plan takes effect, my bank account will only have any ATM withdrawals that I need to make–which shouldn’t happen more than once or twice a month–and my checks to day care.  There should be just six manual transactions every month plus all of my miscellaneous transfers to and from INGDirect, which should also be minimal– there should only be two of those each month.

This will simplify everything while at the same time giving me the maximum amount of travel rewards I’ve been able to find.  Hopefully, it will work as well as I think it will.

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How to Save Money On Anything

Finance

Haggling
Haggling (Photo credit: pritzkerphoto.com)

There is a little-known secret to saving money on almost anything.  If you want to know what it is, please send a case of beer and a self-addressed, stamped envelope to my house.

No takers?

In that case, I will share the secret that has been passed down from father to son since the Mesopotamians landed the Santa Maria at Plymouth Rock.

Ready?

The secret is to…ask.

That’s right, just suck it up and say “Pretty Please”.

How does it work?

In the easiest version, you call up one of the companies you pay regularly and you say “How can I save some money?”

Allow me to give you some examples.

How to save money on insurance

Call up your insurance company and ask, “How can I save some money with you?”  You may be offered a multi-line discount if you let them insure your home and your car or you might be told to raise your deductible.  If you have a $1000 emergency fund, you can afford a $500 deductible.   They may recommend that you drop some coverages that you don’t need or they may ask you some questions that will allow them to lower your rate.  For many years, I lived 2 miles from work and got a discount for the low mileage.

How to save money on utilities

When you call your electric company to ask the magic question, they may offer to conduct a home energy audit to determine where you home is leaking energy.  If they try to charge you for the audit, remind them how long you’ve been a customer in good standing.

Another option they may offer is to install a remotely-triggered switch on your air-conditioner.  Around here, that switch is good for a 15% discount off of my bill in the summer.

How to save money on your cell phone

If you are out of a contract or near the end of your contract you have leverage.  Look up the best comparable deal from another company.  Then, call your cell phone provider, ask to be transferred to the retention department, then ask them to convince you to stay.  They will.

If you aren’t near the end of your contract, you can still call and ask.  If that doesn’t work, watch the mail and any emails from the company.  If they change the terms of your contract, you can get out of it without paying a penalty.  If you get that opportunity, call and ask for the retention department.

How to save money on credit cards

I am assuming you have a credit card with a balance that gets carried from month to month.

Credit card companies are competitive.  Find a competing deal and call your company.  Ask them to beat the deal.  If the competitor is offering 9%, ask for 8%.  If they refuse, call up the competitor.  Tell them you will transfer your balance over if they will waive the transfer fee.    A surprising number of companies will be happy to do so.

Most bills can be reduced in some way.  All you have to do is ask.

Have you had any luck pointing the shrink ray at your bills?

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Extra Money? What Do I Do With Extra Money?

Finance

A couple of months ago, I started a new job. The new job has bonus potential every month, and

English: RepRap v.2 'Mendel' open-source FDM 3...
English: RepRap v.2 ‘Mendel’ open-source FDM 3D printer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

getting that bonus is largely under my control. Effectively, if I’m not a total slacker, I’ll get
about $500 every month, but it’s not guaranteed.

We’re also getting a small 4 figure tax refund this year. I wasn’t expecting that at the beginning
of last year, but one of my side hustles has taken a turn down a path I didn’t plan for, which
lowered my tax liability considerably.

Both of these things are money that we can’t plan for, so it’s not in the budget. It is extra
money.

What the heck do you do(responsibly) with extra money? It’s easy to take the money and run to the
spend it someplace fun.

Easy.

And tempting.

Very tempting.

But that wouldn’t be responsible at all.

The Dave Ramsey plan says we should put it on our debt, but our debt is down to just a mortgage,
and that’s down to $9000.

Retirement?

I actually over-contributed to my retirement last year, and had to file a form to get the
overpayment back instead of paying a penalty on that money. My wife’s account isn’t getting maxed,
yet, but she’s also way ahead of me in retirement savings.

So what to do with it?

I added a calculator that let’s me punch in a number and it breaks it out by our optional goals.

It has 6 categories:

  • Extra mortgage payment: 25%. My goal is to pay off the mortgage completely this year.
  • Retirement contribution: 25%. I do want to max Linda’s retirement contributions this year.
  • Emergency fund: 15%. We have an emergency fund, but I want to grow it to 6 months of our expenses.
  • Family: 15%. This if for whatever family thing we’re planning to do. It could be pushed into a down payment for another rental property, or a vacation, or a camper. We’ll decide this each time we get the extra money.
  • Jason’s Fun Money: 10%. This is for me to blow on something fun, like a 3D printer.
  • Linda’s Fun Money: 10%. This if for my wife to blow on something fun, like a present for me.

So, if we get $2500 randomly dropped in our mailbox, we’ll put $625 on the mortgage and a
retirement fund, $375 to the emergency fund and the family fund, and $250 to Linda and I for fun
stuff.

That lets us see progress on a few of our goals, while still rewarding how hard we’ve worked and
how much we’ve done without while becoming financially stable. 65% of it is pure grown-up &
responsible spending. 35% is generally fun, but can be repurposed if necessary.

What do you do with surprise money? Do you blow it or do something responsible with it?

Festival of Frugality #287: The Independence Day Edition

Misc


Independence Day
Independence Day

Today, it is my please to host the 287th Festival of Frugality, the Independence Day Edition.   Yesterday, was Independence Day in the US.  It’s the day we celebrate throwing off the yolk of high-tax, no-rights tyranny and blowing stuff up.

That’s not what this Festival is about.  As much as I love this country and enjoyed celebrating, today, the theme is the Independence Day movie.

Coolest ID4 fact, ever:  A promotional piece that aired in Spain for this film set off a “War of the Worlds” type of wide spread panic. The promo featured a popular Spanish news anchor and the piece ran as if there really WAS an alien attack to occur on July 4.

Editor’s Picks

The explosion of the Welcome Wagon Helicopters was actually footage of a pyrotechnics accident on set.

Miss T. gives us Seven Reasons to Avoid Penny Auction Sites.  She does a great job of explaining the evil that is Penny Auctions, from outright fraud to the rip-off that is the basic business model.  Some of these sites make $5000 or more on an iPad auction.  They don’t even have to carry an inventory before running an auction.

Independence Day holds the record for most miniature model-work.   It beat the previous record by double.

Philip submits Turn Wasted Extra Money Into a Debt Payment.  I have a friend who is positive he can’t reduce his monthly expenses at all, while eating out almost every day.

The alien ship “miniature” was 65 feet across.

Boomer presents Financial Support For Your Adult Children.  I love my parents.  A lot.  I couldn’t imagine moving back in with them, and I’m pretty sure they’d feel the same way soon enough.   Although, Mom, if you’re reading this, can I have an allowance again?

This was the highest grossing film in 1996.

Suba presents Why you should not use 401k.  I’ve never questioned the wisdom of maxing out a 401k.   It’s good to see those assumptions challenged and the numbers crunched.

The Best of the Rest

President Whitmore: Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. Mankind, that word should have new meaning to all of us. We cannot be consumed by our petty differences anymore. Perhaps it is fate that today is the fourth of July, and we will once again be fighting for our freedom. But not for freedom from tyrrany or oppression or persecution. We’re fighting for our right to live, to exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world stood up and declared in one voice that we will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!

FMF presents Save Money on Groceries by Shopping on Wednesday posted at Free Money Finance.

Harri Pierce presents Have a second hand summer posted at TotallyMoney.

Daniel presents Top 10 Reasons to Shop Online vs. Shopping In-Store posted at Sweating The Big Stuff.

President Whitmore: It’s a fine line between standing behind a principle and hiding behind one.

Philip Taylor presents The Best Time to Buy posted at PT Money Personal Finance.

Outlaw presents Pay Yourself First and Have Money in the Bank posted at Outlaw Finance.

Crystal presents Frugal Tips for the Pet Dog posted at Budgeting in the Fun Stuff.

Matt presents The Price of Water posted at Stupid Cents.

That’s right! That’s what you get! Look at you! Ship all banged up! Who’s the man? Who’s the man?! Wait until I get another plane! I am going to line up all your friends right beside you! ~ Captain Steven Hiller

Alan presents The Cost of Online Gaming: Free to Play posted at Canadian Finance Blog.

Paula @ AffordAnything.org presents Diets and Debt: Managing Money and Your Weight posted at AffordAnything.org.

Kay Lynn presents Summer Fun for the Frugal Family posted at Bucksome Boomer.

Jacob @ My Personal Finance Journey presents Top 10 Money Saving Tips posted at My Personal Finance Journey.

If you’re so smart, tell me something, how come you go to M.I.T. for 8 years to become a cable repairman?~ Julius Levinson

Glen Craig presents The Cost of Clutter on Your Finances and Life posted at Free From Broke.

Eddie presents 55 Suggestions To Save $1000 posted at Finance Fox.

Darwin presents Are You Better Off Than Your Parents? posted at Darwin’s Money.

Sustainable PF presents Sustainability Tip #179: Loose Cap Lose Gas posted at Sustainable Personal Finance.

WHOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Elvis has left the building! ~ Captain Steven Hiller

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Carnival Roundup: Bully Edition

Life, Parenting

My mother-in-law’s house is ready.   The walls are painted, the hardwood floors have been sanded and polished, the carpets have been cleaned.  Now, we just have to get the lease signed and let the renters in.

A school bus photographed in New York, New Yor...
A school bus photographed in New York, New York. Bus is a 2000-2001 Carpenter Classic 2000 body with an International 3800 chassis. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This week, we had our first real bullying incident on the school bus.  I guess one of the benefits of having a kid who is the biggest in the school is that nobody punches him.  My daughter doesn’t have that benefit.   She was punched and pushed for being in the wrong seat on the bus a couple of days ago.   Thankfully, the school dealt with it quickly.   The bus is equipped with video and the little girl copped to it.  She’s s off of the bus for a few days and her parents have been informed.   Unfortunately, her twin sister seems to be the vengeful type.  She came home yesterday lying about how my daughter behaved on the bus and got another little girl to lie about getting hit and bit by my daughter in school yesterday.

How do I know it’s all lies?

First, my daughter didn’t ride the bus yesterday afternoon.  She was scared in the morning, so I promised to pick her up from school.   Hard to misbehave on the bus when she was cuddling with her mother on the couch.    The other little girl–who goes to daycare with the twins just up the street from our daycare provider (who happens to be the grandmother of the twins)–recanted once she was away from the vengeful twin.  Her mother filled us in last night.  I’m not a fan of a grandmother defending a kid’s lies.  No kids are angels, but helping them lie doesn’t make them better people.

Live Real, Now was included in the following carnivals recently:

I’m aware that I’ve been a bit of a slacker about posting these links.  My apologies to everyone who deserved a link but didn’t get it in a timely manner.

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Lifestyle Carnival hosted by Vanessa’s Money

Carnival of Money Pros  hosted by See Debt Run

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Yakezie Carnival  hosted by Your PF Pro

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Carnival of Money Pros   hosted by Debt Black Hole

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