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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Debt Options

Finance

Debtor's Prison Historic Marker — Image by jimmywayne via Flickr

When you’re buried in debt, bankruptcy can seem like the only option. When you get make ends meet, no matter how hard you pull on them. When bill collectors interrupt every dinner. When you have to choose between food and rent. When there is always more month than money. Do you have another choice?

Yes, you do.

Before you rush to file bankruptcy, take the time to understand your options.

Debt Settlement

Debt settlement is when you quit paying your bills and start sending the money to settlement company. The settlement company does…nothing. Really. They take your money and drop it into investments or interest-bearing accounts. You don’t get the interest, they do. Eventually, when your creditors are howling, the settlement company offers to make a settlement on the account. If the creditor accepts pennies on the dollar to kill your debt, the settlement company pays them. If not, they get to howl louder and make you more miserable.

While this process is playing itself out over years, your credit is taking a beating. You are doing nothing to dig yourself out of the hole you’ve dug. Finally, when your creditors are so desperate that they accept the settlement offer, you get a huge additional hit to your credit. “SETTLED IN FULL” is not a good status to have on your credit report.

Debt settlement companies do nothing you can’t do for yourself, and doing it for yourself at least lets you keep the interest your money is earning.

Debt Consolidation

Consolidating your debt comes in two varieties, a debt consolidation loan and a debt management plan.

A debt management plan is when you send one large payment to a debt consolidation company, and they pay your creditors for you each month. The company will usually attempt to contact your creditors and negotiate your interest rate and payments to try to get you into a situation that precludes bankruptcy and will keep your creditors happy. In the simplest terms, this is a debt payment consolidation.

A debt consolidation loan is generally done by taking out a line of credit against your home or other collateral and using that money to pay off all of your bills. Then you make the payments to the bank, to pay off your line of credit. The problem is that, if you can’t make the individual payments, can you make the payment to the line of credit? If you can’t, you risk losing your house.

Repayment

This option is my personal favorite. It involves taking responsibility for your decisions, cutting out the unnecessary expenses in your life, and paying your bills. There are a few popular plans for accomplishing this, including Dave Ramsey‘s debt snowball. The most important thing to remember are 1) debt it bad so stop using it; and 2) pay off as much as you can afford to each month. It isn’t as sexy as making all of your debt disappear, but it’s still a good option.

Bankruptcy

Let’s see. You borrow money on the promise to pay it all back. After you borrow too much, you renege on your agreement. You admit your word means nothing and you get all of your debt cancelled, forcing your creditors to raise the interest rates for all of the responsible debtors out there, as a way to balance the risk of those who will never pay. In exchange you doom yourself to lousy credit for the next 10 years. In extreme circumstances, bankruptcy may be the only option, but, I’m not a fan.

As you can see, there are almost always better options than bankruptcy. Please, before you take that leap, look into the other choices.

This is a sponsored post written to provide some insight into the world of bankruptcy and debt consolidation.

The Zombie Guide to Saving

Finance

Brains!

Nobody has ever accused a zombie of being smart. The are, after all, dead and rotting. Their primary means of education themselves is eating the brains of the living, which is hardly an efficient learning style. Besides, in a strictly Darwinian sense, their victims are among the least qualified to teach useful skills.

Zombies smell. They are little more than flesh-eating monsters. They are lousy in the sack. Yet, for all their flaws, have you ever heard of a zombie in debt or worried about financing retirement? They are obviously doing something right.

What can you learn from a zombie? That depends on the type of zombie. Not all of the life-challenged were created equal.

There are 3 main types of zombies:

1. Slow shamblers are best recognized by their lurching gait and unintelligible grunting, similar to a frat party at 3AM. They are rarely fresh specimens. Arguably the the scariest of all zeds, due to the sheer inevitability of their assault, they do always get where they are going, even if it takes a while. Trapped in a pit or a pool, they will keep trying to reach their goal. A slow shambler, were he able to effectively communicate beyond the basic “Hey, can I eat your brain?” would tell you to approach your goals like the famous tortoise: slowly. Set aside an affordable amount in savings every week, no matter what. Even if your are stuck saving just $10 each month, you will eventually get your sweet, sweet brains.

2. Voodoo zombies are the still-living, yet mindless minions on a voodoo priest. These unlucky non-corpses crossed the wrong people–usually by stealing or not repaying their debts–and ended up cursed for it. They are forced to do the bidding of their masters until such time as their debt has been repaid, if ever. Their warning is to always pay your debts and do not steal. Honest, ethical behavior is the best way to avoid this fate.

3. Runners are almost always “fresh” to the game. As they decompose, they slowly transform into slow shamblers. These fellas can often pass for the living…from a distance. By the time you get close enough to identify them as monsters, your brains are on the menu. They are capable of sprinting for short distances and, on occasion, have even been seen to run up vertical walls. To properly categorize the runners, we have to break them down into 2 sub-groups. The first sub-group is the envy of all zombies still capable of envy. They have used their skills to trap enough prey(that’s us, folks!) that they will feel no hunger for the foreseeable future. They are secure. They are the successful runners. The other sub-group tries to emulate the first, but lack both planning and follow-through. While the first group builds momentum to secure their future, the second group tends to use that momentum to smack face-first into the wall, confused at where their lunch went. Constantly charging from one thing to the next, they never manage to sink a claw into their goals. To avoid falling into the second group, you’ll have to settle on a strategy and pursue it with all the single-minded, decomposing determination you can muster.

You know what they say: “Great minds taste alike.” What kind of financial zombie are you?

Fall From Grace

Finance

When you accumulate a certain level of debt, it feels like you’re wading through an eyeball-deep pool of poo, dancing on your tiptoes just to keep breathing. Ask me how I really feel.

It shouldn’t be a surprise that I’m in debt. We have gone over this before. The story isn’t one of my proudest, so I’ve never talked much about how it happened.

Our debt was entirely our fault. We messed up and dug our own poo-pool. There were no major medical bills, no extended unemployment, just a strong consumer urge and an apparent need for instant gratification. Delayed gratification wasn’t a skill I’d considered learning. The idea of it was a thoroughly foreign concept. Why wait when every store we visited offered no payments/no interest for a year? We didn’t give much thought to what would happen when the year was up.

We got married young. We bought our house young. We started our family young. We did all of that over the course of two years, well before we were financially ready. Twenty years old, we had excellent credit and gave our credit reports a workout. Credit was so easy to get. By the time I was 22, we had a total credit limit more than twice our annual income. We fought so hard to keep up with the Joneses. A new pickup, a remodel on our house. Within a month of paying off the truck, I got a significant raise and rushed out to buy a new car.

Every penny that hit the table was caught in a net of lifestyle expansion. I was bouncing on my tiptoes.

Four months into my new car payment, I was laid off. There’s me, hoping for a snorkel. A week later, we found out our son was going to be a big brother. Our pool had developed a tide.

We killed the cable and cut back on everything else and…managed. Money was tight, but we got by. I got a new job, but had we learned any lessons? Of course not. We got a satellite dish, started shopping the way we always had. Times were good, and could never be bad. We had such short memories.

Fast forward a couple of years. Baby #3 is on the way while baby #2 is still in diapers. Daycare was about to double. Daddy started to panic. I built a rudimentary budget and realized there was no way to make ends meet. There just wasn’t enough cash coming in to cover expenses. That’s when I made my first frugal decision: I quit smoking. That cut the expenses right to the level of our income. It was tight, but doable.

There was still one serious problem. Neither one of us could control our impulse shopping. For a time, I was getting packages delivered almost every day. It was never anything expensive, but it was always something. Little things add up quickly.

Last spring, I realized we couldn’t keep going like that. I started looking into bankruptcy. Somehow, we managed to toss ourselves into the deep end of the pool. We had near-perfect credit and no way to maintain it.

While researching bankruptcy, I found our life preserver. We put together a budget. We cut and…it hurt. It’s taken a year, but every bill we have is finally being tracked. We have an emergency fund and we are working towards our savings goals. It hasn’t been an easy year, but we are making progress. We’ve eliminated 15% of our debt and opened out budget to include some “blow money” and an occasional date night. We are always looking for ways to decrease our bottom line and increase the top line. Most important, we are actually working together to keep all of our expenses under control, with no hurt feelings when we remind ourselves to stay on track.

We are finally standing flat-footed, head and shoulders above the poo.

Update: This post has been included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.

3 Things Everyone Should Do Before the End of 2010

Finance

: Image via Wikipedia

New Year’s resolutions are great, but what are you doing the rest of the year? As we roll into summer and we see the year’s halfway point approaching, it’s important to look at our goals and our progress and see if we’re on track for where we want to be in our lives.

Financially, now is the time to start preparing for the new year. Don’t be like most people and wait until December to think about it.

Here’s a place to start:

Max out your 401(k). If you are under 50 years old, your maximum annual contribution is $16,500. If you haven’t contributed to your 401(k), yet, this means you will have to deposit $2358 per month to max it out. If you would have started at the beginning of the year it would only be $1375 per month. If those numbers are out of reach, at least contribute enough to get your employer’s match. If your company matches 50% of your contribution up to 5%, you need to be contributing 5%. If your gross paycheck is $1000, you should contribute $50. If you do so, your company will be giving you $25. That’s free money and a 2.5% raise! With a pre-tax contribution, you are also lowering your taxable wage, so the 5% contribution is not lowering your take-home pay by 5%. In some cases, it may even raise your take-home pay!
Know your money. Take some time to examine your income and your expenses. What are you having withheld? Will that leave you with a large tax bill next spring? Will it give you a huge tax refund, which is just an interest-free loan to the government? You withholding goal should be to pay nothing and receive nothing when you file your taxes in the spring. The less you withhold, the more you have for your daily expenses, but, if you withhold too much, you risk an unaffordable tax bill and possible penalties later. Look also at your expenses. Have you used your gym membership in the last few months? Cancel it. Do you know every cent you have to pay each month? Figure it out so you can plan the rest of your financial year. A budget is helpful here.

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Own your debt. “It’s not my fault.” “My ex stole my bank account.” “My dog ate the bill.” “My kidneys were stolen and I woke up in a bathtub full of ice and an invoice for services rendered.” “I lost my job.” “I have an X-Box addiction.” “I gave my credit card to a stripper, but we broke up. Go after the stripper.” Excuses. Here’s the thing: None of it matters. You owe the debt. Your choices are to pay the debt or file bankruptcy. Either way, you need to own the debt and take responsibility for whatever choices you made or debt you’ve accumulated. Denial is not a successful coping mechanism. Whatever you choose to do, know that it is your choice. You can’t hide from your bills or your $15/day “Venti Soy Hazelnut Vanilla Cinnamon White Mocha with extra White Mocha and caramel” habit.

What are your financial plans for the rest of the year?

Update: This post has been included in the Festival of Frugality.

Sunday Roundup: Father’s Day

Finance

Father's Day Cake 2009 — Image by Jim, the Photographer via Flickr

On Father’s Day, 3 years ago, my third and final kid was born. My kids are all horrible brats and I love them dearly.

I wouldn’t give up fatherhood for anything. Watching my kids grow and learn, steering their development, and teaching them how to navigate life is the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever been a part of. Also the most frustrating. I can’t imagine being anywhere else, not being with my kids. I have no respect for deadbeat parents.

I am incredibly grateful that I had a proper model for manhood and fatherhood. My dad taught me the concepts of honor, integrity, and responsibility. I couldn’t be the man I am now, if he wasn’t the man he is. Thanks, Dad.

Best Posts

Sometimes, the coolest things in the world are the things most likely to kill you. Call me crazy, but I’d happily strap a 1200 cc propeller to my crotch and find out what 10,000 feet looks like.

Via Budgeting In The Fun Stuff, Super Frugalette reminds us that, when there’s a significant amount of money involved, spending a few hundred dollars on an attorney isn’t wasteful.

Fivecentnickel discuss multi-level marketing. It doesn’t matter which company you are in, if your downline is more important that your product, it’s a bad business model.

Keith Ferrazzi shows us how to improve our body language when it really matters.

When I started driving, I tossed my car in a ditch going way too fast. Naturally, it was my parents’ fault for giving me the curfew I was trying to beat. They never would have bought it if I would have told them I was driving like my grandma and it jumped into the trees by itself. Why does the FBI think that’s believable? Corruption, maybe?

Financial Samurai talks about living a life without regrets, which is a personal goal of mine.

Food storage will become critical when the zombies come.

Beer is good. Even the cave-men thought so.

Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled

3 Ways to Keep Your Finances Organized was an Editor’s Pick in this week’s Festival of Frugality. Thanks!

5 Reasons Your Wealth Isn’t Growing was included in this week’s Carnival of Personal Finance.

Money Problems: Insurance was included in the Totally Money Blog Carnival.

Unlicense Health Insurance was included in last week’s Carnival of Personal Finance.

Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Yakezie Blog Swap

Last week, the Yakezie shared what they would do with a single financial do-over.

– Melissa from Mom’s Plans shares her biggest financial mistake at Barbara Friedberg Personal Finance: Opening an eBay Store and Using Credit. It is a great story about how not to grow your business and how competing priorities can pose a real challenge.

– Budgeting in the Fun Stuff shares her biggest financial mistake and potential do-over at Super Frugalette: Investing in a Friend’s Business. Its a good, but costly lesson learned about small business.

– Eric from Narrow Bridge Finance shares how He Wouldn’t Have Paid Down His Student Loans So Fast at The Saved Quarter. This may seem counter-intuitive, but he has some good points. Check it out.

– Mr. S from Broke Professionals shares how He Wouldn’t Have Bought a New Car at My Personal Finance Journey. This has some great analysis, especially considering the new car was a hybrid!

– The College Investor posted at Wealth Informatics: What you should know when you are investing?

– Wealth Informatics posted here: If you had one financial do-over, what would it be and why?

– Barbara Friedberg shares how She Was Scammed at Mom’s Plans. You have to watch out for the hard sell!

– Joe at Retireby40 tells us about How He Invested his 401(k) in Company Stock right before the dot com crash, at Financially Consumed. A financial adviser may have helped avoid this one!

– Financially Consumed shares his Car Purchase Do-Over And Over at Retireby40. Car addicts have it tough!

– LaTisha from FSYA shares her do-over story in It’s Never Too Late at Little House in the Valley. Sometimes the do-over is quicker and more painless than most.

– Little House yell’s Do-Over! Do-Over! at FSYA Online. It looks at the road to saving more, starting on an elementary school playground!

– The Single Saver asks, What Are The Long Term Consequences of Small Purchases at Totally Money. A cool post on how past purchases cost future returns!

– Miss Moneypenniless from Totally Money shares her story of Vacationing to the Brink of Bankruptcy. Sometimes a vacation can be fun, but the bills afterward may be daunting.

– Super Frugalette shares How a Lawyer Could Have Saved Her $24,700 at Budgeting in the Fun Stuff. Maybe lawyers are worth it sometimes?

– Jason from Live Real, Now shares how he Amassed $90,000 of Debt at Debt Eye. A good lesson in living a little more frugally.

– Kevin from Debteye shares his do-over: Not Buying a House Right Out of College at Live Real, Now. I have said it before that buying a house can be challenging right out of college.

– Penny from The Saved Quarter shares how She Would Have Finished College Before Having Kids at Narrow Bridge Finance. An awesome story that has will soon have a happy ending!

– Jacob from My Personal Finance Journey shares how he was Scammed on eBay at Broke Professionals. An important lesson for anyone selling or buying online.

– Marissa from Thirty-Six Months shares how she Accumulated a Ton of Student Loan Debt at So Over Debt. If you are going to live the life, you’re going to pay the price!

– Andrea from So Over Debt shares How She Would Have Started Saving for Retirementat Thirty-Six Months. I would love to read a post on each of the stories you mentioned getting to where you are now!

– Below Your Means shares his story about A Missed Investment Opportunity. There are so many times I wish I could have gone back and bought a stock!

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