Heartache and heartbreak are hard enough to endure but imagine having to go through the loss of a relationship while the world looks on. Such is the high price of celebrity divorce and the latest victim is the beautiful and talented television chef, Nigella Lawson. Shocking photos of Nigella apparently being choked by her husband, Charles Saatchi, surfaced in the media following the June 9th dinner at Scott’s restaurant in Mayfair, London, where the incident occurred. Saatchi’s advisors urged him to humble himself and admit a public apology for the assault. Saatchi denied any wrongdoing, saying he never assaulted her and in fact, was actually removing mucous from his wife’s nose. Nigella was stunned by the admonition of “nose-picking” and his refusal to apologize. She left Saatchi and their family home in Chelsea.
Diana Nyad: Never Give Up
Diana Nyad, a 64-year-old endurance swimmer, became the first person to swim the 110 mile distance from Cuba to Key West Florida. Certainly, the environmental factors were in her favor as the sea life did not bother her,
the currents stayed friendly, and no storms approached. She swam for over fifty-two hours straight before reaching the coast of Florida.
After her long, treacherous journey across the ocean, her words of advice to others were “I have three messages. One is we should never, ever give up. Two is you never are too old to chase your dreams. Three is it looks like a solitary sport, but it takes a team.” Surely, just as a physical sport requires will-power and endurance not to “throw in the towel” or give up, life also requires this same type of endurance.
We are all running an endurance race of life in which we must preserver when trials arise. In order to succeed in this, we must never look back at past failures, but rather press forward to the reward. Just as people running a foot face are running with intense focus on the goal (to cross the finish line and win the metal), people with purpose are also running this race of life, in which they are looking forward to a reward beyond our human comprehension.
In addition, just as Diana Nyad said that one is never too old to chase his or her dreams, a person should never look at age as a determinant of wisdom or faith in life. This is undoubtedly true in regards to children and their innocent, child-like faith that is unpolluted by experience and unspotted by the knowledge of the evilness that exists all around us in this world.
On the other hand, the older people should not possess a mind-set that limits their ability to stay active in life. As soon as a person determines in his or her head or listens to outside voices telling him or her that he or she cannot do something because of advanced age, he or she has a tendency to live out these thoughts and these thoughts create feelings of defeat. Ultimately, people should keep a child-like faith with an optimistic, determined thought pattern in life. This will surely create better overall mental health and therefore more productivity.
Just as Diana Nyad pointed out that her endurance swim could not have been successfully accomplished without a team, people need positive fellowship in life. When a person is discouraged, having somebody to embrace him or her in a hug and simply offer words of encouragement can greatly leave a positive impact on the soul. When one person is strong in an area, the next person is possibly weak in that same area. We are all unique and have different strengths that we can bring to the community. If everybody shared their time and gifts with their neighbor, this life would be much simpler.
Unfortunately, many “sharks” exist amongst people that are looking for somebody to gnash with their teeth, torture, and devour. It is often said that a shark can “smell fear” and thus responds in a negative matter to fear. Diana Nyad did not focus on the sharks, therefore did not display fear nor was she approached by any dangerous predators. Instead, she focused on the shore, not looking to her right or left. In life, if we do not pay the “sharks” any attention, they will most likely not notice or approach us.
We can learn much from Diana Nyad’s example of her “Never Give Up” endurance swim.
Michael Gergenti: Paying for Paternity
Model Michael Girgenti, filed paperwork in Los Angeles County Superior Court alleging that he is the father of Kourtney Kardashian’s son, Mason Disick. According to Kardashian’s lawyer, the three-year old boy is the son of
her boyfriend, Scott Disick, who also fathered her daughter, 13-month old Penelope. Girgenti is requesting DNA testing of Kardashian, Disick and the child, and if it is determined Mason is his son, he is demanding joint custody.
According to the lawsuit, Girgenti met Kardashian during a 2009 photo shoot, where they began a texting relationship. Girgenti claims that Kardashian told him that she and Disick were separated. A report in US Weekly states in a bio of Scott Disick that he and Kardashian split up in February 2009 after two years because of rumours he was cheating. The court documents state that in March 2009 Kardashian and Girgenti had unprotected sex, which is nine months prior to the birth of Mason, who was born in December 2009. Kardashian announced her pregnancy in August 2009, claiming that Disick was the father of the baby.
Kardashian Denial
Lawyers for Kardashian claim that Girgenti’s accusations are “preposterous and an outrageous lie.” Kardashian attorney, Tod Wilson, told E! News that Girgenti has been “selling false and fabricated stories to the tabloids for years about Kourtney Kardashian and her son, Mason. “ Wilson also claims that Girgenti has been seeking payment to publish the court pleading, indicating that Girgenti was more interested in payment for reports of his alleged paternity than actually proving that he was Mason’s father. However, the suit filed in court indicates that Girgenti is seriously seeking proof of the child’s paternity.
Girgenti Claims Resemblance
Court documents also claim that Girgenti tried to reach Kardashian after she announced her pregnancy in August 2009, but she did not return his calls. He claimed he began to consider that he was Mason’s father when he saw photos of the child, stating that the boy resembled him more than he did Scott Disick. Girgenti also stated that Mason looks nothing like his younger sister, Penelope, who is Disick’s child. Months prior to filing the lawsuit, Girgenti wrote to Kardashian, requesting a DNA test, claiming that if there was no response, he would pursue legal action to determine Mason’s paternity. In the letter, Girgenti claimed that his intentions were not to “hurt the family you’ve created,” but that “Mason deserves to know the truth.”
A Los Angeles County judge has set a hearing for the case in late August. At the hearing, the judge could dismiss the case or order DNA tests for Girgenti, Kardashian, Disick and the child. In California, unmarried fathers do not have legal rights or responsibilities until legal paternity is established, and naming a father on a birth certificate may not legally establish who a child’s father is. Since Disick and Kardashian were not married at the time of Mason’s birth, Girgenti may have the legal right to demand a DNA test.
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What is a Mechanic’s Lien?
When you hire someone to work on your property or provide material to build or improve it, they are entitled to get paid. A mechanic’s lien is the method of enforcing that payment.
Here is what you need to know about mechanic’s liens.
A contractor must usually give you written notice of intent to file a lien if the contract isn’t paid. He needs to do this within a short time of beginning the work. The notice will include text to the effect that subcontractors also have the right to file a lien if they are not paid. This notice gives you two methods of defense: You can pay the subcontractors directly and withhold that amount from the payment to the contractor, or you can withhold the final payment until you have received a lien waiver from each of the subcontractors.
If the notice isn’t given correctly, the contractor forfeits his right to file a lien. Also, in most places, if a contractor is supposed to be licensed to do the work, but isn’t, he’s not able to file a lien.
Subcontractors must also provide notice on intent within about 45 days–depending on the state–of the time they first provide services or material, or the lien is not enforceable.
Protecting Yourself
First, you only have to pay once. If you pay the contractor in full before getting the notice of intent from the subcontractors, you can’t be forced to pay again.
Next, make the contractor provide a list of all subcontractors and keep track of any notices of intent you get. Get lien waivers from everyone involved before you make the final payment to the contractor.
Finally, you have the rights defined in the notice of intent to file a lien. You can either pay the subcontractors directly, or you can withhold the final payment until you receive lien waivers from each subcontractor.
Resolution
The lien holder has 120 days to file the lien and 1 year to enforce it. Enforcing simply means that it a suit has been filed. Once that happens, you can either pay the contractor, attempt to settle with the contractor, or you can take the contractor to court to determine the “adverse claims” on your property. There aren’t too many choices at this point.
Do yourself a favor and get lien waivers before you make the final payment on any work done on your property.
Sunday Roundup
I just realized that I screwed up on Friday’s post and accidentally scheduled it for July 31 instead of July 1. Sorry about that.
I am pretty excited about tomorrow’s post. I’m going to…well, that should wait for tomorrow. It’ll be fun, though.
Best Posts
It’s a basic economic principle: If you want to sell less of something, charge more for it. That works for labor costs, too. Raising the minimum wage, especially when there is a recession, will only cause less employment.
This is a neat business idea. Sometimes, a small business wants a mailing address that isn’t the owner’s home address.
Foreign CDs seem tempting. You can make a decent return in India. Just make sure it’s a legit bank, instead of the “Cayman Island” banks that exist just to collect wire transfers from the US.
In a high-tax, high-regulation environment, the underground economy will thrive, every time. Working for cash and no paperwork can be tempting.
Here’s a sample email to help you buy a car.
Carnivals I’ve Rocked and Guest Posts I’ve Rolled
Shattering Taboos was included in the Carnival of Personal Finance.
Thank you! If I missed anyone, please let me know. I’ve been slacking off on carnival submissions lately.
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Making the Sale: How to Alienate Your Customers
Have you ever walked into a store only to be instantly surrounded by salespeople trying to sell you whatever their corporate office has decided is the most important thing for them to sell this week?
I remember walking into a big blue electronics store to buy a TV. The beautiful corner-unit entertainment center that perfectly matches my living room will fit–at most–a 32″ screen. Unfortunately, any questions I asked were answered with an attempted upsell to a big screen. I don’t want a fancy TV. I don’t have room for it. It doesn’t fit my needs.
Why do the salespeople persist in strong-arming me into something I can’t use?
Later, I’ll be visiting a couple of potential customers. I know from talking to them that they are expecting a hard sell and a push to sign a contract today.
I don’t do that. I can’t do that.
My goal for these meetings is to find out what these people want, and–more important–what they need. How can I know what they need before I have a chance to sit down and ask them? Even bringing a proposal to the meeting would show that I cared less about them than I do about their checkbooks.
Here’s my checklist of items to bring:
- Notebook
- Pen
- Spare pen
- Business card
- My winning personality
That’s it.
I can accomplish more with “How can I help you succeed?” than I can with “You really need to buy this from me, today.”
If the high-pressure sales-weasels at the big blue electronics store had been taught that lesson, I may have gone home with a high-end (though smaller) TV, rather than going home to buy online.
Have you ever had a sales-weasel try to convince you that you want something you don’t need or need something you don’t want?