Search Results for “slow-carb-diet-how-to-avoid-going-bat-crazy/three-alternatives-to-a-budget/debt-burnout/living-the-xbox-life-on-an-atari-income/future-dreams” — Page 8

Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Kids Are Temporary

Life, Parenting, Relationships

Have you ever watched someone go nuts after they have kids?

I mean, even after the I-haven’t-slept-more-than-20-minutes-in-a-row-for-3-months stage of babydom?

These people dedicate their lives to their kids. They sacrifice all of their hopes and dreams and focus on the brats. They can’t have a date night because little Sally might get lonely without mommy and daddy. Can’t have a hobby because Johnny’s on the traveling soccer team. Can’t get laid because it’s a family bed and that’s kind of creepy when the kids are right there.

Everything for the kids.

As they grow, it gets worse. You spend more time helping with homework and less time talking to your wife. More time playing chauffeur, less time playing doctor.

It’s a nasty cycle, and it comes with an abrupt stop.

What happens when school’s out? Little Johnny graduates with a dual degree in Practical Philosophy and Experimental Art History, gets a job at the local Stab-and-Grab, gets married, and starts a family.

When that happens, parents suddenly become “extended family”. The kid has a life of his own and probably doesn’t need his clothes picked out in the morning, a ride to soccer practice, or someone to write his name in his underwear.

This is planned. It is–in theory–the reason we raise our kids. It shouldn’t be a surprise, even if it is a bit of a shock.

Can you survive it? Can your marriage?

If you’ve spent the last 20 years of your life pretending you are nothing but a system for delivering food, rides, and gadgets for your kids, what are you going to do with your time when they are busy pretending they are that system for their kids? If you’ve never developed a hobby, are you going to go extra-special, bat-**** crazy now?

For 20 years, have all of your conversations been about your kids? Have all of your outings been birthday parties? Will you have anything to say to your spouse when the kids are gone?

Your kids are temporary.

They are important. They are your genetic legacy and the people who will choose your nursing home. Don’t neglect them, but you do have to hold something back. Make time for yourself. Make time for your husband or your wife. Or both, if you can make that work.

When your kids are working 90 hour weeks building a new career, or hustling 4 kids to 10 after-school activities, your life doesn’t get to revolve around them.

All you’ve got is yourself and your wife. If she’s not feeling secure about your feelings now, when she loses the distraction of puke in her hair, that insecurity will blossom in unpleasant ways. If you can’t find a conversation that doesn’t involve the kids now, the silence will be blistering when you eventually lose that crutch.

If you don’t have a hobby, get one.

If you don’t have a relationship with your wife, get one. Take her on a date tonight. Your kids are temporary, your marriage shouldn’t be. This is the rest of your life. Make it worthwhile.

2011 Goals

Life

It’s that time of the year when people make public promises to themselves that last almost as long as the hangover most of them are going to earn tonight, otherwise known as New Year’s Resolutions.

Not a fan.

I am, however a fan of planning out some concrete goals and doing my best to meet them. I do this through a series of 30 day projects. I set a goal that can be reached in 30 days, and push for it. I tend to make my goals fairly aggressive, and I tend to meet them.

Here were my goals and results for 2010:

January: Wake up at 5am AND read to my kids every night before bed. These were easy goals to meet. A year later, I am still getting up much earlier than I ever have, even if it’s not 5AM. I write better late at night than I do early in the morning, anyway. I’m not still reading to my kids every night, but we are making progress on teaching my four-year-old to read.
February: Do 100 push-ups at one time by the end of the month. I accomplished this in 22 days. I also had a secret project that involved doing something sweet for my wife every day. By the end of the month, she was convinced I had done something horrible that I was trying to make up for.
March: Do 100 sit-ups at one time by the end of the month. It took me a week, but I found out how bad sit-ups are for your back. Pure failure.
April: Spring Cleaning. I will declutter every room in my house this month. We missed one room and one closet, but made a lot of charities happy.
May: Have a sit-down dinner with my family, at the dining room table at least 3 times per week. We managed this one and enjoyed it, but we haven’t managed to keep it up. I’ll have to try this again.
June: No computer use, while anyone else in the family is awake, except for household necessities, such as bills. This one worked well and improved the quality of our interaction. I’m not quite this strict about it, but my computer use has gone down dramatically while my family is awake.
July: Write fiction every day. I don’t think I wrote more than a few pages of fiction, but I did write every day.
August: Buy nothing new this month. We came very close to doing this one perfectly. It wasn’t easy.
September: Attempt to learn a new language. Total bomb. I never even got started.
October: No yelling at the kids. Have you ever thought about trying this with a a two-year-old and a four-year-old? We never got started.
November: No complaining. Not at home, not at work. I didn’t make this an actual month, but I’ve been trying to complain much less. I think it’s been working.
December: I will have done 14 projects this year. December is a month off. As planned, I took December off.

So I missed 4 months of projects. This year, I’m going to modify my overall plan and only do 6 projects, every other month. That will give me a month off to either relax or incorporate the goal into my ongoing habits without any stress.

Here are my goals:

January: I’m going to do Tim Ferriss’s Slow-Carb diet. Yes, it’s a fad diet, but it beats the constant stream of garbage I eat now. The basic plan is to avoid anything white; no bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, or sugar. That’s accompanied by a targeted supplement regimen and a timed exercise plan to manipulate my metabolism. I’m not adding any aerobic exercise to my day, because I want this to be as controlled an experiment as possible. If it’s working at the end of the month, I will keep it going. It’s time to not be fat anymore.
March: In February, I managed to get myself able to do 100 pushups in a single set. In March, I hurt my back trying to do the same with sit-ups and that killed my workout habit. This March, I’m going to do the 100 pushups challenge again, but this time, I’m going for perfect pushups. Last year, they got sloppy after about 80. This year, that won’t be good enough.
May: I’m going to do at least 30 days of the Couch to 5k running program. It’s a 9 week program. As a 30 day project, it’s designed to establish the habit. When I tried picking up running last year, my knees were causing problems. Hopefully, my January project will mitigate that this year.
July: I’m going to pick up a new language. This is the failed plan from September 2010. I’ve narrowed it down to either Spanish, Swedish, or Italian. One is useful, one is a part of my heritage, and one is for fun. At the moment, I’m undecided.
September: Undecided. I am leaning towards a “nice” month. 30 days of doing something nice, for someone, somewhere. If I go this route, I’ve got 9 months to plan, because that’s a lot of things to do.
November: Absolutely undecided. Any suggestions?

That’s my plan for the new year. Six specific goals, each lasting 30 days. I could definitely use some help for September and November. Please give me some suggestions in the comments.

Make Extra Money Part 2: Niche Selection

Business, Finance

If you want to make money, help someone get healthy, wealthy or laid.

This section was quick.

Seriously, those three topics have been making people rich since the invention of rich. Knowing that isn’t enough. If you want to make some money in the health niche, are you going to help people lose weight, add muscle, relieve stress, or reduce the symptoms of some unpleasant medical condition? Those are called “sub-niches”. (Side question: Viagra is a sub-niche of which topic?)

Still not enough.

If you’re going to offer a product to help lose weight, does it revolve around diet, exercise, or both? For medical conditions, is it a way to soothe eczema, instructions for a diabetic diet, a cure for boils, or help with acne? Those are micro-niches.

That’s where you want to be. The “make money” niche is far too broad for anyone to effectively compete. The “make money online” sub-niche is still crazy. When you get to the “make money buying and selling websites” micro-niche, you’re in a territory that leaves room for competition, without costing thousands of dollars to get involved.

Remember that: The more narrowly you define your niche market, the easier it is to compete. You can take that too far. The “lose weight by eating nothing but onions, alfalfa, and imitation caramel sauce” micro-niche is probably too narrowly defined to have a market worth pursuing. You need a micro-niche with buyers, preferably a lot of them.

Now the hard part.

How do you find a niche with a lot of potential customers? Big companies pay millions of dollars every year to do that kind of market research.

Naturally, I recommend you spend millions of dollars on market research.

No?

Here’s the part where I make this entire series worth every penny you’ve paid. Times 10.

Steal the research.

My favorite source of niche market research to steal is http://www.dummies.com/. Click the link and notice all of the wonderful niches at the top of the page. Jon Wiley & Sons, Inc. spends millions of dollars to know what topics will be good sellers. They’ve been doing this a long time. Trust their work.

Niche Research — Click for full-size image

You don’t have to concentrate on the topics I’ve helpfully highlighted, but they will make it easier for you. Other niches can be profitable, too.

Golf is a great example. Golfers spend money to play the game. You don’t become a golfer without having some discretionary money to spend on it. I’d recommend against consumer electronics. There is a lot of competition for anything popular, and most of that is available for free. If you choose to promote some high-end gear using your Amazon affiliate link, you’re still only looking at a 3% commission.

I like to stick to topics that people “need” an answer for, and can find that answer in ebook form, since I will be promoting a specific product.

With that in mind, pick a topic, then click one of the links to the actual titles for sale. The “best selling titles” links are a gold mine. You can jump straight to the dummies store, if you’d like.

Of the topics above, here’s how I would narrow it down:

1. Business and Careers. The bestsellers here are Quickbooks and home buying. I’m not interested in either topic, so I’ll go into “More titles”. Here, the “urgent” niches look like job hunting and dealing with horrible coworkers. I’m also going to throw “writing copy” into the list because it’s something I have a hard time with.

2. Health and Fitness. My first thought was to do a site on diabetic cooking, but the cooking niche is too competitive. Childhood obesity, detox diets and back pain remedies strike me as worth pursuing. I’m leaning towards back pain, because I have a bad back. When you’ve thrown your back out, you’ve got nothing to do but lie on the couch and look for ways to make the pain stop. That’s urgency.

3. Personal Finance. The topics that look like good bets are foreclosures and bankruptcies. These are topics that can cost thousands of dollars if you get them wrong. I hate to promote a bankruptcy, but some people are out of choices. Foreclosure defense seems like a good choice. Losing your home comes with a sense of urgency, and helping people stay in their home makes me feel good.

4. Relationships and Family. Of these topics, divorce is probably a good seller. Dating advice definitely is. I’m not going to detail either one of those niches here. Divorce is depressing and sex, while fun, isn’t a topic I’m going to get into here. I try to be family friendly, most of the time. Weddings are great topic. Brides are planning to spend money and there’s no shortage of resources to promote.

So, the niches I’ve chosen are:

Back pain
Bankruptcy
Conflict resolution at work
Detox diets
Fat kids
Foreclosure avoidance
Job hunting
Weddings
Writing copy

I won’t be building 9 niche sites in this series. From here, I’m going to explore effective keywords/search terms and good products to support. There’s no guarantee I’ll find a good product with an affiliate program for a niche I’ve chosen that has keywords that are both highly searched and low competition, so I’m giving myself alternatives.

For those of you following along at home, take some time to find 5-10 niches you’d be willing to promote.

The important things to consider are:

1. Does it make me feel dirty to promote it?

2. Will there be customers willing to spend money on it?

3. Will those customers have an urgent need to solve a problem?

I’ve built sites that ignore #3, and they don’t perform nearly as well as those that consider it. When I do niche sites, I promote a specific product. It’s pure affiliate marketing, so customers willing to spend money are necessarily my target audience.

How to Maximize Your Income and Reduce Your Expenditures

Finance

If the past few years have taught us anything, it’s that we need to be taking out less debt and building up more savings. And certainly, it’s where the public seem to be heading – levels of mortgage overpayment and personal savings have rocketed in the past year amongst those who have the luxury of being able to put income aside.

For many of us though, finding money to save is a real struggle. After the bills and living costs are taken out of a monthly salary payment, there’s not always a lot left to play with. So what do you do?

The answer lies in getting tough with yourself, carrying out a review of your current spending patterns and working out a sensible budget. Essentially you need to both maximise income and reduce expenditure – both sides of the coin. There are plenty of ways to do this when you start thinking, so be creative and start thinking outside the box.

Here are a few top tips to get you started:

Ask for a pay rise – it seems like an obvious option, but so many of us never do it. Take a look at the market and see what similar companies are offering for your job role or profession. This will give you an idea of whether you’re currently being paid enough for your skills level and experience.

Ask your manager in a calm and prepared manager and come with facts and examples to back up your request. If the request is turned down, try again in a few months time, with more evidence. Also, ask HR for advice about your job salary banding and progression, so you show that you’re serious.

Get a new job – the obvious option when your pay rise request is denied. You may find that you can earn more elsewhere in the same profession, or flex your skills into a new career entirely. See a professional careers advisor for guidance.

Get a second income – more people than ever are opting for this route, by becoming self-employed on a part time basis. There are numerous industries that rely on an army of part-time staff, often self-employed. Examples are party-planners, sales people, freelance designers, coders, copywriters and researchers, market researchers, bar and restaurant staff and plenty more.

Take in a lodger – if you have a spare room, then the government allows you to take in a lodger without paying tax on rental income (up to £4250 pa.) This can be an effective way to make the use of your home to bring in income. Do your research first though on how to select the right lodger and make the relationship work.

Look for opportunities to earn – examples include signing up for overtime during busy periods at work or selling unwanted items on eBay. You could also sign up with the local council to count votes during election period, or help steward at large events. There are various agencies offering links to such opportunities if you search online.

On the other side of the coin lies spending reduction. This is a bitter pill for some to swallow, but there really is no point in earning more if you’re not going to make good use of it!

Food shopping – when it comes to food shopping, start using grocery coupons/vouchers and sign up for reward schemes. Downgrade your brands when you’re out shopping, so that you save money on you shop each time. Look at bulk buying offers, local grocers, markets and other opportunities to slash monthly grocery bills.

Travel – identify ways to save on travel, firstly by walking when a journey is a mile and under. If you’re doing this regularly you’ll save on petrol and you can cancel your gym subscription! With train tickets, book well in advance to take advantage of special deals and with holidays, look for cheap holiday offers and promotions via online search sites – these check the whole of the market to find the best prices and options for your requirements. Holiday extras such as car hire and airport parking can also usually be arranged via these online travel sites so be sure to compare prices to save yourself some money.

Clothes shopping – instead of shopping expensively on the high street, channel your passion for fashion into eBay. Many of your regular brands will be on there already and you can sell last season’s purchases to make way for the current season of items. Get savvy with bids and set yourself limits – you’ll find some great bargains if you’re clever about it!

Entertainment – when it comes to entertainment, sign up to group buying schemes for special offers and look more broadly in your area for things to do that don’t cost a lot of money. Things like local leisure centres, museums, parks, libraries, city parades and exhibitions are often free or subsidised by the council and you can enjoy time with the family without spending a lot of money on more commercial entertainments.

Hobbies – rather than taking up yet another expensive sport that you’ll buy all the equipment for and then never see through, find low cost hobbies to enjoy and cultivate. Walking or running, painting, music appreciation, gardening, racket sports, debating groups, local social clubs – all of these can be enjoyed without necessarily parting with too much cash. And it will broaden your horizons too – thinking more broadly about what counts, such as spending time with loved ones, rather than throwing money at free time like there’s no tomorrow!

This post brought to you by MoneySupermarket.

A Brighter Future: 3 Simple Things Parents Can Do to Make a Difference

Finance

[Editor: This is a guest post from my good friend Terra. I’ve know her for–jeez, really–20 years. If you’re looking for a staff writer, hit her up. Seriously. She’s good people.]

Who doesn’t want a brighter future for their child? Book store shelves overflow with parenting advice tomes and how-to guides to make “uber-kids”. Eager parents lap up promises to raise their children’s I.Q., increase their chances to get into college, and improve their social skills.

From books to apps to specialized software, there is a dizzying number of products available to help your child grow into the genius you know he or she is.

But what if I told you that the secrets to increasing your child’s likelihood to succeed in life were absolutely free. Simple things you have complete control over. No batteries or special upgrades required. No matter your income, education level, or what country you live in, these deceptively simple tips offer powerful results.

Make Mealtimes Sacred

Food connects people. From the dawn of time, our species has gathered around the fire, to break bread and share our stories.

In modern times, our schedule can be crazy (between work, social activities, and, you know, life) so having dinner on the table at 6 o’clock every night is not always possible. However, studies consistently show that having a family meal at least 3 times a week has huge benefits for children (from teenagers being less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, to increased academic success, to reduced risk of developing eating disorders or becoming obese, the implications are impressive). And it doesn’t have to be dinner, any meal will work. Consistency is the key.

Far from being boring, children find the predictable routine of family meals reassuring, promoting warm, fuzzy feelings of closeness and comfort (though teenagers will never admit it). Whether it’s take-out or made from scratch goodness, nothing says “I care about you” like sharing a meal.

Quality matters here, so remove distractions during meal time (turn off the TV, ban phones) and focus on each other. Take this time to reconnect and talk about your day and ask the kids about theirs. Make this time sacred. It matters that much.

Hug Frequently

“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” – Virginia Satir, psychotherapist

Receiving a loving hug feels wonderful. But beyond feeling “nice”, hugs literally have the power to heal us and improve our lives.

Hugs have superpowers. A hug has the power to release a “happiness hormone cocktail” of oxytocin (natural antidepressant, promotes feelings of devotion, trust and bonding), dopamine (intense pleasure), and serotonin (elevates mood, negates pain and sadness) in both the giver and receiver. Bonus, hugs are naturally gluten-free, organic, and have no unpleasant side effects.

To get the most benefits, prolonged hugging is recommended, around 20 seconds. A full-body hug stimulates your nervous system while decreasing feelings of loneliness, combating fear, increasing self-esteem, defusing tension, and showing appreciation. However, this hug fest only works its magic if you’re hugging someone you trust. Since children love to be held and cuddled, this is ideal for family bonding. Not so much with that new client you just landed (awkward…).

How does hugging effect children specifically? Children who aren’t hugged have delays in walking, talking, and reading. Hugging boosts self-esteem; from the time we’re born our family’s touch shows us that we’re loved and special. All of those cuddles we give to our children are imprinted on them at a cellular level and will still be imbedded in their nervous system as adults. Hugs today equal the ability to self-love as adults. That’s an awesome gift.

Create a Home Library

We all know how important reading aloud to children is, from infants to teenagers. Reading is one of the most important factors affecting the development of a child’s brain. But reading skills are not hardwired into us; we don’t pop out of the womb quoting “Pride and Prejudice”. Reading skills need to be taught and encouraged.

Parents are a child’s first, and most important, teachers. While children can learn from flashcards and workbooks, nothing is more powerful than seeing your passion for reading. Whether you like it or not, your children are learning from your every move. What you find important, they will find important. No pressure! Teaching reading to your child requires attention, focus, and motivation. It also requires access to books, lots and lots of books.

Libraries are a great resource for developing a love of reading in your child. Most have a thoughtfully arranged children’s area offering story-time and other enrichment opportunities. However, nothing beats having a book to call your own, to hold and cherish, until the edges are worn with love.

Having a well-stocked home library, it turns out, matters. A lot. This study found that having a 500-book library was equivalent to having university-educated parents in terms of increasing the level of education their children will attain. That’s pretty powerful. It doesn’t matter if your family is rich or poor, from North America or Asia, if your parents are illiterate or college-educated, what matters is that you have books in your home.

Don’t’ have the space for 500 books? No worries. Having as few as 20 books in the home still has a significant impact on propelling a child to a higher level of education, and the more books you add, the greater the benefit.

Having a variety of books available makes a difference; especially important are reference books, with history and science texts having the greatest benefit.

No money for books? No Excuse! Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library is a great resource for free, high-quality children’s books. When you sign up, your child is mailed a new book each month until the age of five, addressed to them (a very special thing indeed).

I hope these tips empower you to take action. Small changes can have a big impact on your child’s future. Just remember, it’s not the money you make or the tutor you’ve hired or the new app you’ve installed that will catapult your baby Einstein ahead in life. It’s the quiet moments with you at home, eating, hugging, and reading that will carry them through whatever life brings their way.

Are these things you would like to focus on in your family? Do you have simple parenting tips that have made a difference in your child’s life?

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