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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

3 Habits Every Soon-to-be-Successful Debtor Needs to Cultivate

Finance

Getting out of debt is primarily a matter of changing your habits. We’ve all heard people swear by skipping your morning cup of coffee to get rich, but that’s just a small habit. Much more important are the big habits, the lifestyle habits. Here are 5 habits to cultivate for financial success.

Frugality

“Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship”– Benjamin Franklin

As Chris Farrel wrote in “The New Frugality“, being frugal is not about being cheap, but finding the best value for your money. When my wife and I had our second baby, we couldn’t justify spending $170 on a breast pump, so we bought the $30 model. It was quite a bit slower than the expensive model, and was only a “single action”, but for $140 of savings, it seemed worth the trade. Six weeks later, it burned out so we bought a new one, still afraid to justify $170 on quality. This thing took at least 45 minutes to do its job. When it burned out 6 weeks later, we decided to go with the high-end model. This beauty had dual pumps, “baby-mouth simulation” and it was fast. The time was cut from a minimum of 45 minutes to a maximum of 15. That’s 3 hours of life reclaimed each day fro $140. Six months of breastfeeding for each of two kids means my wife regained 45 days of her life in exchange for that small amount of money. At the rate of 6 weeks per burnout, we would have gone through 8 cheap pumps, costing $240. The high-end unit was still going strong when we weaned baby #3. Buying quality saved us both time and money. I wish we would have gone with the good one from the start. Sometimes, the expensive option is also the cheap option.

Maturity

Image via Wikipedia

“Maturity is achieved when a person postpones immediate pleasures for long-term values.” -Joshua Loth Liebman

Being a mature, rational adult is hard. It means accepting delayed gratification over the more enjoyable instant variety. We save for retirement instead of charging a vacation. It takes a lot of restraint to put off buying the latest toys, clothes, gadgets, cars or whatever else is currently turning your crank until you actually have the money to actually afford it. It means planning your future instead of looking like a surprised bunny caught in a spotlight every time your property taxes come due. (Who knew that the year changed every year? Do they really expect annual payments annually? Geez! There’s so much to learn!) It means thinking about your purchases and buying what you actually need, actually want, and will actually use instead of resorting to retail therapy whenever you feel like a sad panda. The only benefit to mature, rational management of your finances is that, given time, you will have the security of knowing that, no matter what happens, you will be okay. That’s a huge benefit.

Pleasure

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“Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it.” – Thomas Jefferson

If it hurts, you won’t do it. You have to learn to take pleasure from from things that won’t make you broke and you have to learn not to hate putting off the things you can’t afford. Take pleasure in the little things. Enjoy the time with your family. Presence means so much more than presents. So many people never learn how to enjoy themselves. Take the time to experience life and enjoy doing it.

Update: This post has been included in the Carnival of Debt Reduction.

Christmas for the Destitute

Finance, Parenting

First, my disclaimer: I’m not destitute.

However, I’m trying to spend Christmas acting like I am a pauper.

Why, with small children and beautiful-and-more-than-deserving wife, would I want to deprive my family of a bountiful holiday?

Before we get into the reasons for being a horrible grinch bent on depriving my children of their god-given right to rampant consumerism, let’s look at the Philosophy of Destitution.

The primary reason to pull back and tone it down is basic frugality. Excessive anything is not frugal. I am training my children–and for that matter, my wife and my self–in the finer arts of personal responsibility and frugality. Accumulating debt for a fleeting holiday is insane. If we can’t afford to buy it, we certainly can’t afford to give it. Anything else would be setting a bad example and children learn best by example.

Another piece of the Philosophy of Destitution(when I read this word, I hear a deep, booming voice in my head, like a 30s radio superhero voiceover) is “green”. I consider myself a conservationalist rather than an environmentalist, so don’t read too much into that color. I try to be responsible, instead of destructive and I try to avoid being wasteful. Toys that won’t be played with are wasteful. A garbage can full of packaging for those same toys costs money. It is much cheaper to avoid the landfill here.

Back to “Why”. Why would I be willing to deprive my family?

Yakezie Carnival: The 93 Edition

Misc

Welcome to the Yakezie Carnival. The Yakezie is a group of the best personal finance blogs on the internet. In short, we rock. Joining the Yakezie is a 6 month challenge involving Alexa ranking and cross-promotion.

These are posts submitted by Yakezie members. Please note, this is the 93 Edition, not the 93rd Edition.

Today is April 3rd, the 93rd day of the year.

93 is a Blum integer. For those of you who don’t know, a Blum integer is, to quote Wikipedia, a natural number n if n = p×q is a semiprime for which p and q are distinct prime numbers congruent to 3 mod 4. Now you know as much as you did before. If you understand that definition, you probably already knew what a Blum integer was. To me, this means a Blum integer is a number that has a definition that I have to copy and paste to even repeat coherently. It exists solely to make math geeks feel smart. I am not a math geek.

On to the carnival!

KrantCents brings us Cash or Credit, a post about the choice between using cash or credit for purchases. We’ve wrestled with this one before. A few months ago, we basically abandoned the cash-only system as inconvenient and too easy to ignore. Right now, we are transitioning to a travel rewards card for all of our regular purchases. I’m going to see how much of my trip to the Financial Blogger Conference I can get for free.

Using thelemic isopsephy, a form of numerology promoted by Aleister Crowley, Will + Love = 93. Crowley once said something to the effect of “Never lie. Just live the kind of life no one will believe.” I love that quote, but I can’t remember where I read it.

Dr. Dean presents 5 Tips Plus A Bonus On Saving Money: Today! and says “Dr Dean’s patients are telling him their costs are rising, despite the feds promise that inflation is under control. 5 tips to save a little money, now (with a fun bonus!)” As a father of 3, the bonus tip needs to be rethought. Long-term costs….

On February 8th, 1993, GM sued NBC for faking crashes that show GM trucks catching fire in car accidents. First, if Hollywood has taught me anything, it’s that cars catch fire in every accident, no matter how minor. Second, where’s Toyota’s lawsuit, now?

Jacob at My Personal Finance Journey bring us Are Extended Auto Warranties A Scam? and says “A look at the considerations that should go in to deciding whether or not extended warranties are worth their weight in gold.” I want to call extended auto warranties a scam, but I can’t. When I bought my car, I got the warranty and paid a couple of thousand dollars for it(I don’t remember exactly how much!). For years, it was worthless, but shortly before the warranty expired, I had a couple of problems that needed to be fixed, so I brought it in and asked for a complete inspection to go with the repair. All told, I got close to $5,000 in repairs for that $2,000 warranty and my car drives like new at 7 years old.

On May 10th, 1893, the United States Supreme Court officially declared the tomato to be a vegetable, proving once again that, not only will the government stick its nose into absolutely anything, but it doesn’t feel a need to base its decisions on facts or science. Remember that when you hear any government declaration regarding scientific facts or advances.

Money Reasons bring us Are We All COGs in the Machine Of Life? and says “Break away from the business machine that is using you as a COG spinning doing the owner’s bidding. Why just spin in circles wasting life away? Start your own business or develop some life fulfilling hobbies!” I love the idea of breaking out and doing what you love, whether or not it makes you any money. Life’s too short to hate everything about it.

In Q1, 1793, France declared war on Great Britain, Spain, and the Netherlands. Now, they make whine, pastries, and self-righteous politicians. The Earth is also 93 million miles from the sun. Coincidence? I think not.

Evan at My Journey to Millions offers up Important Dates When Investing in Dividend Producing Stocks and says “When you are dealing with dividend paying stocks there are dates whose definitions can be considered a term of art and you should know about including declaration date, ex-dividend date, record date and payment date.” I get lost when dealing with most investments. That’s mostly because, at this point in my financial journey, I don’t care. I’m still working on paying my way out of debt. I’ll worry about the investments later.

93 is located at the 42nd digit of pi. That is obviously significant. I should team up with Thelema to invent some mystical reason to take a paid holiday tomorrow to celebrate the works of Douglas Adams.

Melissa at Mom’s Plan presents How to Accomplish Your Goals Part Two: Write Down a Step-by-Step Timeline and says “Writing down the goal is only one step of the process; directing yourself as to how you will complete the process is just as important.” Having goals turns life into a game. Games are fun, so goals are good.

By contentment, the acquisition of extreme happiness. – 93rd Aphroism Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra

Darwin’s Money brings us Life Settlement Investment – Scam or Legit? and says “Life Settlement Investments – Profiting from Death? Scam? Or legitimate high yield alternative investment? Find out for yourself with the facts here.” Life settlement funds appeal to me in a totally morbid, Running Man kind of way. It’s less disturbing that Treadmill to Bucks.

Finally, 93 is the number of the flight that successfully fought back on 9/11. Never forget.

5 Reasons to Quit Saving and Start Living

Finance, Life

: Image by owaief89 via Flickr

Life is all about trade-offs. You trade your time for a paycheck. Your trade your paycheck for food, rent, and security. Don’t get so obsessed with saving and security that you forget to live your life. There are many good reasons to put your savings on hold in order to really live. Here are five of them:

1. You have an adequate emergency fund. You will never hear me advise against an emergency fund. If you don’t have one, stop reading this and get one. Go. Without an emergency fund, your budget is a financial crisis waiting to happen. With an emergency fund, you can weather life’s speed-bumps without watching them become total train-wrecks.

2. Your retirement is on autopilot. You are not allowed to stop saving and investing for retirement. Ever. Assuming you have a traditionally scheduled career that involves you working until you hit 65 and deferring a huge chunk of living until then, your income will cease when you retire. Do you know how long you will live? Do you want to spend your retirement broke and bored? Are you relying on the responsible financial management of the federal government to make sure you will still get your Social Security? Invest in your retirement and get this investment on autopilot so you can stop worrying about it.

3. Your income is set. I don’t believe in the fairy tale of a company being loyal to its employees. The aren’t. However, if you have a stable-ish job, an in-demand career, and some side-income coming from alternate sources, your emergency fund can be enough to carry you through the low times. That’s what it’s there for.

4. You have dreams. If you’ve always wanted to travel the world, follow a band on your, volunteer extensively, or anything else, it’s time to do it. Don’t postpone your passion.

5. Deathbed regrets suck. Very few people lie on their deathbed lamenting the things they did. Regrets tend to be focused on opportunities missed, skipped, or indefinitely postponed. Do the things that are important to you before it’s too late to do them. Don’t abandon your future in favor of current pleasures, but don’t forget to live, now.

Do you have any other reasons to stop saving?

Budgeting Sucks

Finance

Budgeting kind of sucks.

Filling out a budgeting spreadsheet, putting in all of your expenses, listing all of your income, tracking all of your spending. Yuck.

Balancing the fact that you may have $200 to spare, but if your gas bill is a bit lower one month then you have a some more money, but if your electric bill’s a little bit high, then you have a little bit less. It’s too much work.

Here’s the new plan:

I just opened up a new credit card. This credit card’s got a fairly high limit, not that I care since I’m never going to come close to the limit. It’s got an okay interest rate, not that I care–it’s going to be paid off every month. It also has a good travel rewards plan, so our family vacations can, to a large extent, be paid for.

Now, with this card, I’m taking all of my regular bills, and setting them up to be automatically paid by the credit card. It’ll get automatically charged every month. I won’t have to think about it. Once a month, I’ll just log on and pay off the card. All I have to do is make sure the balance stays under my monthly budgeted amount. I already know what I have to be paying each month, so, no problem.

This will make it easier to budget and track my actual spending. It’ll even make it easier to balance my checkbook, since right now, I’m logging into my bank account a couple of times a month to compare it to Quicken. Any budget helper is nice.

After this plan takes effect, my bank account will only have any ATM withdrawals that I need to make–which shouldn’t happen more than once or twice a month–and my checks to day care. There should be just six manual transactions every month plus all of my miscellaneous transfers to and from INGDirect, which should also be minimal– there should only be two of those each month.

This will simplify everything while at the same time giving me the maximum amount of travel rewards I’ve been able to find. Hopefully, it will work as well as I think it will.