What would your future-you have to say to you?
The no-pants guide to spending, saving, and thriving in the real world.
What would your future-you have to say to you?
For the past couple of years, my daughters have been riding in horse shows with a local saddle club. We’ve been lucky in that my wife’s cousin has let us borrow her horse for the shows, so costs have been minimal.
Unfortunately, that horse isn’t available this year. We knew that a few months ago, so the plan was to take a year off from the shows and focus on lessons, to get the girls some real skills. We found a great instructor at a stable about 30 miles from our house. Since we live less than two miles from the border of the biggest city in the state, that’s a comparatively short drive.
We pay her $200 per month for 1 lesson per week for both girls. They each get 30-45 minutes on the horse during each lesson.
Now that show season has started, the plan seems to have changed. The girls will be riding a different borrowed pony tomorrow. The shows cost about $50 for registration, lunch, and gas. Our club has 1 show per month, but my wife has assured me they’ll only be hitting three shows this season and limiting the number of events to keep the cost down.
The direct costs aren’t too bad, but there’s a problem with keeping-up-with-the-Joneses accessorizing. Vests and boots and helmets and belts and shirts, oh my.
I’d guess our costs for the summer will be $300 per month.
One thing we’ve been considering is buying a pony. We can get an older pony for around $500-1000. Older is good because they are calmer and slower. Boarding the thing will cost another $200 per month. We’ve been slowly accumulating the stuff to own a horse, so I’m guessing the “OMG, he let me buy a horse, now I need X” shopping bill will come to around $1500, but I’ll figure $2000 to be safe. We already have a trailer, a saddle, blankets, buddy-straps, combs, brushes, buckets, rakes, shovels, and I-bought-this-but-I-will-just-put-it-in-the-pile-of-horse-stuff-so-Jason-will-never-notice stuff. We’re certainly close to being ready to buy.
(FYI: If you’re starting from scratch, don’t think you’re going to get into horse ownership for less than $10,000 the first year, and that’s being a very efficient price-shopper.)
So we’re looking at $5400 for a horse, gear, and boarding the first year. If we cancel the lessons, by spring we’d have $2000 of that saved and most of the rest can be bought over time.
On the other hand, if we go that route, we’ll never save enough to buy the hobby farm we’re looking for.
Decisions, decisions. I should just buy a new motorcycle. Within a year, I win financially.
Ahhh, New York City. The Mecca of all that is glamorous, rich, luxurious and exciting. To some, the good life. So, you’re ready to pack your bags and head for the big city? Slow down there, big dreamer. The cost of
EVERYTHING in the city is higher than the national average, meaning your 70K per year needs to be 166K in New York City to keep your current lifestyle. Let’s talk about the basics here: lodging, food and entertainment:
If rent has not broken you, you must also eat! I mean, you won’t be eating MUCH after paying rent, but you will need a nibble here and there. It will come as no surprise that the restaurants in New York City are pricey. Celebrity favorites such as the Four Seasons, Le Cirque and Nobu are over $50.00 PER PERSON. I just choked on my Diet Coke. Eateries such as McDonald’s and local Mexican restaurants are abundant, but they too are higher priced than elsewhere. Your best bet? Learn to cook. Eat leftovers. Use coupons. Pair those coupons with sale items. Find a generous and rich companion. Skip meals.
As far as entertainment goes, I’m afraid at this point, your only entertainment will be browsing the web for supplementary forms of income. Seriously, unless you are in the 1%, utilize the many forms of free entertainment that New York City has to offer. A jog through Central Park, window shopping or a walk through the city all offer ample opportunity for fun free of charge. Sadly, Broadway plays and designer shopping must be left to the rich and famous.
In conclusion, one can lead a good, but not extravagant, life in New York City on a normal income. Be prepared to work hard, save hard and live frugally. Unless you’re living on money that is coming from an investment or dividend, you shouldn’t expect anything more. Listen, New York City is exciting, good grief, it’s the “city that never sleeps,” but it isn’t cheap. Of course, the people I know who have lived there for a short stint of time had little money and have since moved on – with no regrets and countless memories from that season of life.
Have you ever watched someone go nuts after they have kids?
I mean, even after the I-haven’t-slept-more-than-20-minutes-in-a-row-for-3-months stage of babydom?
These people dedicate their lives to their kids. They sacrifice all of their hopes and dreams and focus on the brats. They can’t have a date night because little Sally might get lonely without mommy and daddy. Can’t have a hobby because Johnny’s on the traveling soccer team. Can’t get laid because it’s a family bed and that’s kind of creepy when the kids are right there.
Everything for the kids.
As they grow, it gets worse. You spend more time helping with homework and less time talking to your wife. More time playing chauffeur, less time playing doctor.
It’s a nasty cycle, and it comes with an abrupt stop.
What happens when school’s out? Little Johnny graduates with a dual degree in Practical Philosophy and Experimental Art History, gets a job at the local Stab-and-Grab, gets married, and starts a family.
When that happens, parents suddenly become “extended family”. The kid has a life of his own and probably doesn’t need his clothes picked out in the morning, a ride to soccer practice, or someone to write his name in his underwear.
This is planned. It is–in theory–the reason we raise our kids. It shouldn’t be a surprise, even if it is a bit of a shock.
Can you survive it? Can your marriage?
If you’ve spent the last 20 years of your life pretending you are nothing but a system for delivering food, rides, and gadgets for your kids, what are you going to do with your time when they are busy pretending they are that system for their kids? If you’ve never developed a hobby, are you going to go extra-special, bat-**** crazy now?
For 20 years, have all of your conversations been about your kids? Have all of your outings been birthday parties? Will you have anything to say to your spouse when the kids are gone?
Your kids are temporary.
They are important. They are your genetic legacy and the people who will choose your nursing home. Don’t neglect them, but you do have to hold something back. Make time for yourself. Make time for your husband or your wife. Or both, if you can make that work.
When your kids are working 90 hour weeks building a new career, or hustling 4 kids to 10 after-school activities, your life doesn’t get to revolve around them.
All you’ve got is yourself and your wife. If she’s not feeling secure about your feelings now, when she loses the distraction of puke in her hair, that insecurity will blossom in unpleasant ways. If you can’t find a conversation that doesn’t involve the kids now, the silence will be blistering when you eventually lose that crutch.
If you don’t have a hobby, get one.
If you don’t have a relationship with your wife, get one. Take her on a date tonight. Your kids are temporary, your marriage shouldn’t be. This is the rest of your life. Make it worthwhile.
When I was in high school and working 15 to 20 hours a week, my mom gave me free rein to use the money I earned as I would like. Actually, she said nothing to me about saving for college or putting some money into savings.
When I had friends who complained that they had to put away some of their earnings, I commiserated with them. How unfair of their parents to make them save some of their money! They worked hard for their money, often at crappy part-time jobs. They deserved to spend the money any way they saw fit.
The way I saw it, why save for college? According to financial aid rules, if the student has any savings, she would have to use the majority of it to pay for college. How unfair. To add insult to injury, if prospective college students have some savings, they would qualify for less financial aid, which often meant fewer student loans.
The injustice.
Yes, it was better to spend my hard earned money than save it and be penalized.
No one told me differently. In fact, many people in my family agreed with me and encouraged me to buy a used car to get to and from my job. Of course, I paid the loan payments for the car, the gas I used and my insurance out of money from my job. That was a responsible use of money, but I also went out to eat with friends, a lot. At 16, I was going out to eat with my friends twice a week at least.
However, my plan worked perfectly. When I went to college, I didn’t have to use any of my hard earned cash. No, not me, because I hadn’t saved anything. Instead, I left college with nearly $20,000 in student loan debt. I took two years off and paid down as much student loan debt as I could, getting it down to about $8,000, but then I went to graduate school and took on more student loan debt. I graduated with nearly $25,000 in debt total. I am still paying on it today, 13 years later.
Now that I am the parent, I am one of those “awful” parents who makes her kids save. My son knows when he gets his allowance, some goes to save, some goes to donate, and some goes to spend. True, it makes me cringe when he uses his spend money on little trinkets like temporary tattoos, stickers, and gum, but I keep silent. He did the work to earn the money, and he can spend it as he likes. However, I am inflexible with saving; that money must be set aside. When he goes to college, I expect that he will have to use the majority of that money. Rather than seeing it as a waste, I see it as an important component of his financial education. Spending his money to pay a portion of his college education will hopefully make him take college more seriously.
Meanwhile, I have already begun having chats with him about money, spending, and budgeting. He watches his dad and I work hard to pay down our debt with gazelle intensity. He sees me use a calculator at the grocery store to see how much our groceries will be.
Ultimately, he will make his own financial decisions as he grows up, but I plan to teach him throughout these important years so that even if he turns into a spendthrift, he will have a firm financial understanding to revert to as he ages. While my mom taught me how to stretch money further, she never taught me how to save; I hope saving is a lesson my son takes with him throughout his adulthood.
How do you teach your kids about money management?
Melissa writes at Fiscal Phoenix where she encourages people to rise from the ashes of their financial mistakes as she and her husband are doing.
When I was younger, my dad was always trying to teach me the value of money but he never really succeeded and it took a series of monetary mishaps before I even started to learn any of the lessons that he had been trying to teach me!
Once I realized that I had been horribly mismanaging my finances, a painful lesson to learn, especially on the back of a redundancy, I began to do some research to find out exactly where I had gone wrong and what I could do to put things right.
It was at this point that it occurred to me that I knew absolutely nothing about personal finance and I couldn’t tell an ISA from a current account.
I also began to wonder if I had been taught these lessons at an early age then would I have made better financial decisions once I started earning?
For example, my outlook on personal finance was all about borrowing and not saving and I had no idea what my credit score was or how it was calculated.
Had I known that it could be affected by simply being close to the limits on my current lending streams or by applying for more credit then I may not have been so quick to spend on credit cards.
Although this was not a problem during the credit boom, when offers of guaranteed credit seemed to drop through my door on a daily basis, it has become something of an issue since the credit crunch.
Of course, just knowing the pitfalls of financial mismanagement is no guarantee that I would have done things any differently but it certainly would have made me think about the decisions I was making and the impact they would have in the long run.
All of which led me wonder whether should schools give students (or pupils if you’re in the UK) lessons in personal finance.
I think it would be a great idea as this would be something that everyone, no matter what their level of academic ability, could take with them into the real world.
And it could be the case that a school in the US is one step ahead of the rest as they already have money management lessons as part of the curriculum.
Burbank High School in Sacramento is offering students lessons in personal finance as part of National Financial Literacy Month in an effort to raise awareness of the importance of good practice in personal finance.
The lessons covered personal finance topics such as budgeting, saving and needs vs. wants and placed them into real life scenarios that would resonate with the students, such as estimating how much the senior prom will cost and ways to save and pay for it.
Students were also encouraged to put a portion of any weekly earnings or allowance into a savings account to teach them the importance of saving for the future from an early age.
I think that these were the values that my dad was trying to instill in me from an early age but I failed to take any notice.
I now have two sons that I have to try and keep from making the same mistakes that I made, so any help I can get will be greatly appreciated…here’s to future school pupils focusing on personal finance!
Article written by Moneysupermarket.com