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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Getting Out of Debt: The Prime Rule

Finance

The American Dream has been perverted. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness has been cruelly warped to mean

Wipe our Debt (Photo credit: Images_of_Money)

“Toys, free stuff provided at the expense of others, and the ability to buy and do anything I want without regard for the consequences.” To fund this horrible new dream, the people who can’t convince a government program to finance it for them often turn to credit. Credit is the art of putting your future into hock for something that you probably don’t need or want and that won’t work by the time you are finished making payments.

Ick. I’ve chosen not to live my life that way. Every day, more people are waking from the consumerism fog and deciding to reel their lifestyles back in and take control of their lives. They take a look at the world around them, compare it to their check register, and realize that it’s just not sustainable. You can’t survive on credit forever. Eventually, you will realize that there isn’t enough money to continue to buy things today on tomorrow’s paycheck.

What’s the first thing you should do when you decide that a “normal” life—a life in debt—isn’t the way you are going to live your life?

Well, when you find yourself standing in a grave, stop digging. You can’t dig yourself out of a hole and you can’t borrow your way out of debt. If you want to get out of debt, you need to stop using more debt. Period.

It may seem impossible, and the people around you may try to convince you that you are crazy. It is not impossible, just time-consuming. Short of finding an insane amount of money hiding under your front step or a winning lottery ticket blowing across the sidewalk, there are no shortcuts to getting out of debt. It’s just a matter of making the payments and not using more credit.

As far as the haters, screw ‘em. They are brainwashed into thinking their unsustainable and insane lifestyle is not only normal, but necessary. You don’t get life advice in a padded room, and you don’t plan your finances with a debt-addict.

Getting out of debt is a simple process, but that doesn’t make it easy. It only has two real steps: stop using debt, and keep making the payments.

3 Reasons You Hate Your Budget

Finance

: Image via Wikipedia

One of the first steps in clearing up your financial mess is to set up a budget. You need to figure out how much money you are making, how much you are spending, and what you can do to keep one of those numbers smaller than the other. If your income is smaller than your expenses, you’ve got work to do. If not, yay!

Even if you don’t obsessively cling to your spreadsheets and calculator, you need to spend the time to establish a budget–at least once–to know where you stand. When you do, you’ll find out it sucks. With good reason.

1. It takes too long to set up. Setting up a budget can be a long, drawn-out pain in the butt. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be, but you won’t know that until after you make your first budget, then see some fairly drastic changes, and make a second budget. That one will be easier. For the first one, just concentrate on making a list of all of you regular bills and how often they are due. Don’t be surprised when you miss some. I missed a couple of our quarterly bills. All told, it took a year to get our budget completely done.

2. It doesn’t lie. Once you have all of your expenses down on paper, you are done hiding. You can’t tell yourself it’s all puppy dogs and ice cream when you are staring at the giant red pit that is the negative balance of your bad decisions. Nobody likes the messenger who brings bad news. When your budget shows you how big the hole is, you are going to hate it. That’s when it’s time to confront the problem head on and get out of the hole. Find the problems and rip ’em out. Cancel the cable, taxidermize the cats, and start buying generic underpants. It’s time to take an honest look at your situation. If you can’t handle where you are, how are you going to get where you want to be?

3. It’s not fun. When your friends go out, but you stay home because you’re broke, you will hate it. Y’ou’re also gonna hate comparing your old cell phone to the iPhone in the hands of the d-bag contemplating bankruptcy. Like Dave Ramsey says, “Live like no one else, so that later you can live like no one else.” Skipping some of the fun now will turn into security later. When you get to that point, it will have all been worth it.

Why do you hate your budget?

Carnival of Money Stories – Halloween Aftermath Edition

Finance, Misc

: Image by Dunechaser via Flickr

Welcome to the November 1, 2010 edition of the Carnival of Money Stories. One thing I didn’t do when volunteering to host this was to check my calendar. Did you know that November 1 follows October 31, every year? On Saturday, I had 30 people over for my annual Halloween party. On Sunday, I ran a haunt in my yard and coordinated to get a dozen kids out begging for candy while using my house as a base of operations. I’ve had guest from out-of-town since Friday. Halloween weekend is, by far, the busiest weekend of the year at my house.

Editor’s Picks

J. Savings presents Side Hustle Series: I’m a Restaurant Server posted at Budgets Are Sexy, saying, “Is serving tables thankless work? Yes. Are customers sometimes unpleasant? Of course. But the benefits are plenty!”

Wenchypoo presents Marketing, Marketing Everywhere–There’s No Escape! posted at Wisdom From Wenchypoo’s Mental Wastebasket.

The Wise Squirrel presents Does it Matter Who is the Main Provider Between Husband and Wife? posted at Squirrelers, saying, “Money story about a dual-income couple in which the husband had the opportunity for a big promotion that would have required a move, AND his wife to leave her job. Their different viewpoints are discussed.”

Business

Ryan @ CML presents Get a Tax Deduction for a Working Vacation posted at Cash Money Life, saying, “Tips on how to write off a business trip as a tax deduction.”

Career

Jeff Rose, CFP presents How to Pass the CPA Exam and Become a Certified Public Accountant posted at Jeff Rose, saying, “If you are interested in becoming a CPA, here are some of the experiences of someone who just recently passed the CPA exam.”

Jason @ Redeeming Riches presents What Sam Walton Teaches Us About Money, Success, and Family posted at Redeeming Riches, saying, “Sam Walton had it all – or did he? Find out the biggest regret he had on his death bed.”

Credit

Mr Credit Card presents Cash Vs. Credit, A Real World Experiment posted at Ask Mr Credit Card.

Debt

The Family CEO presents Debt Snowflakes: Or How I Made $821.73 in Extra Credit Card Payments This Month posted at The Family CEO.

Kaye presents Stuck in the Middle posted at Mrs Nespy’s World, saying, “The beginning of the journey was excited, the end will be exhilarating, but this “in the middle” stuff is for the birds.”

Kate Kashman presents Why Not To Bounce Checks posted at The Paycheck Chronicles, saying, “An accidental bounced check in college is still causing trouble, 20 years later.”

Michael Pruser presents Managing $225,000 in Debt Is Starting to Ware on Me posted at The Dough Roller, saying, “My struggles on managing a ton of debt!”

PT presents 5 Lessons Learned From Filing Bankruptcy posted at Prime Time Money, saying, “Lessons learned from an actual account of going through a bankruptcy.”

Silicon Valley Blogger presents Should You Pay Off Loans or Invest Your Money? posted at The Digerati Life, saying, “So you’ve got some money. Should you pay off your debt with it or invest the money? Here’s a personal account on what I’ve done.”

Housing

BWL presents Success Story: Paying Off A House In 5 Years While Tithing posted at Christian Personal Finance, saying, “This is an encouraging story of a woman who stuck to her convictions about giving 10% of her income and still managed to pay off her house in less than 5 years!”

Miranda presents Do I Really Want to Rent Out My House? posted at Personal Dividends – Money+Lifestyle.

Investing

2 Cents presents What Would Make Me Invest in the Stock Market? posted at Balance Junkie, saying, “We have not invested in the markets for a while now. A reader recently asked what it would take for us to get back in. Here’s my answer!”

FIRE Getters presents Early Retirement Case Study – Sandy Aldridge and Dale Lugenbehl posted at FIRE Finance, saying, “At times the fast pace of our city lives appear stifling making us long for a slower pace of life with more exposure to clean air and green vegetation. Our souls yearn for a simple life which is in greater harmony with Mother Nature. Of late our work related health problems have been making us yearn, almost every morning, for a more relaxed life with greater freedom. So we were thrilled to read about Sandy Aldridge and Dale Lugenbehl who retired early (at ages 48 and 47 respectively) more than a dozen years ago to their eight-acre farm in Cottage Grove, Oregon …”

Other

Neal Frankle presents Find A High Paying 2nd Job Using Craigslist posted at Wealth Pilgrim: Money Management Advice, Financial Stess Management, Addiction Recovery Plan & Resources, saying, “You Can Find A High Paying 2nd Job Using Craigs List If you’re looking for high paying 2nd jobs, look no further than your computer screen.”

Super Saver presents Retiree Financial Lessons from the Recession posted at My Wealth Builder, saying, “Although I wish this recession had not happened, I am glad that it happened early in our retirement, while we were better able to meet the financial challenges.”

Craig Ford presents Medi-Share Medical Sharing | A Health Insurance Substitue posted at Money Help For Christians, saying, “Medical sharing is a great way to reduce your health insurance costs.”

passive family income presents Cutting Out Wasted Expenses to Save More Income posted at Passive Family Income, saying, “How many wasted expenses are you paying for? After sorting through my family’s past years credit card and bank statements, I have found several small money leaks in our personal finances.”

Kristina presents Our Parents Estate posted at Dual Income No Kids, saying, “If your parents are divorced, how has their separation affect the way you have planned your estate?”

Donna Freedman presents Rockin’ the surveys — when it’s worth it. posted at Surviving and Thriving, saying, “Online surveys can be a nice source of extra income — except when they aren’t.”

Joe Plemon presents My Car Needs an Engine. Should I Sell it, Fix it or Junk it? posted at Personal Finance By The Book, saying, “What do you do when your beloved car needs an engine: sell it, fix it or junk it? This post explores the options.”

FMF presents My Type of Couple posted at Free Money Finance, saying, “Story of a couple who collected 400k cans to pay for their wedding.”

Lindy presents Once Upon a Time…I Used an Iron posted at Minting Nickels, saying, “One of the likely first stops in expense-slashing is the luxury of paying for laundered shirts. This is a tale of my ironing saga (yes, it qualifies as a saga). And it’s not as boring as this description sounds. Thanks!”

Sandy presents One Disaster Away posted at Yes, I Am Cheap, saying, “We sometimes pass judgment on others for the financial situation, but most of us need to realize that all it takes is one disaster to be in the same situation.”

Bucksome presents Top 7 Ways I Budget My Time posted at Buck$ome Boomer’s Journey to Retirement, saying, “Budgets are needed for more than money in this story about 7 ways to budget time.”

Tom @ Canadian Finance Blog presents How to Watch Cheap and Free TV in Canada posted at The Canadian Finance Blog, saying, “Want to know how to see free TV in Canada? You have a few options with over the air free HDTV, broadcaster’s websites and cheap services like Netflix!”

Lauren Mendel presents A Very Scary Money Story posted at Richly Reasonable – Successes and failures, all in the name of living reasonably., saying, “This Halloween week read the true, terrifying tale of how Husband and I almost lost literally every important document that we have. Muahahaha! You might want to lock your doors and close the blinds before reading this one…”

Sun presents What’s in My Wallet? posted at The Sun’s Financial Diary.

Shopping

Money Beagle presents Costco Coupon Policies – Truth or Fiction? You Decide posted at Money Beagle.

ctreit presents Our family budget has to accommodate this chocolate snob posted at Money Obedience, saying, “Name brands versus store brands.”

Rachel presents Sometimes Less Is More | MomVesting posted at MomVesting, saying, “Melinda talks about how the value of many things isn’t necessarily determined by their cost.”

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of Carnival of Money Stories using the carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on the blog carnival index page. Thank you, everyone, for participating!

Budget Lesson, Part 8

Finance

This is a continuation of the budget series. See these posts for the history of this series.

This time, I’m looking at our discretionary budget. These are the things that don’t have a fixed cost. Any individual item is largely optional, and, ultimately, we don’t track these purchases closely. At the beginning of the month, I pull this money out of the bank in cash, except for 1 category. When the discretionary budget is gone, it’s gone.

Groceries/Dining – At the beginning of the week, we sit down with a meal planner and (Can you guess?) plan our meals. The planner we use has a weekly calendar with a checklist below each day to build the grocery list. At the bottom of the page is another checklist for staples that don’t apply to a specific day’s meal, like milk or snacks. We build the list, then transfer it to another sheet, broken out by grocery department. That keeps me from having to criss-cross the store. I make one lap. When I go to the store, I only bring that week’s grocery budget in cash, so I keep close track of how much is going into the cart. Recently, we’ve gotten so good at making our meals cheaply from scratch that I reduced our monthly food budget by $50. I enjoy good food, so I wouldn’t reduce this budget item if it was a sacrifice in quality. For example, the Rainbow Foods store-brand chips actually taste better than Lay’s for half of the price. We stock up when things are on sale and cook creatively. Sometimes, if time has been too tight to make a meal plan, we eat solely from the pantry for a week, buying nothing but bread and milk. By sticking to the list, and not fearing the store’s brand, we are able to feed our family of 5 1/2 for $450 per month and still eat well.
Discretionary – This is for the random things that come up, and some of the not-so-random. Toiletries, activity fees, admissions, and fund-raisers all come out of this fund. At the end of the month, whatever is left gets tucked into a box and forgotten. When the box gets full, it goes to the bank to be applied to debt. There isn’t a lot to cut here, since this line-item is only $200.
Baby stuff – This category is continually shrinking. Our middle kid is recently potty-trained and our youngest is trying. There is no baby food and no formula, just 1 pack of diapers every month. In 6 months, this category will be eliminated.
Gas/oil – This is the single category that isn’t cash-based. It makes no sense to take the kids out of the car to pay inside, especially in the winter. Also, all of the temptation is inside. It’s much better to spend the money at the pump. There isn’t much we can do to reduce this, at the moment. Our next car won’t be a full-sized pickup, but we are several years from that purchase. We’ve started clipping oil-change coupons to keep this down to the minimum amount possible.
Clothes – We only allocate $15 per month for clothes. In a good month, we don’t spend it. We can’t eliminate it completely, because things do come up. Over the summer, I’m hoping to completely leave it alone to save up for a new(used) winter jacket for our older daughter, who doesn’t get hand-me-downs.
Blow Money – This is the safety valve. It can’t get reduced and still work.

We’ve now addressed out entire budget, including what we can do and have done to keep our costs under control. Looking back, I don’t see too many cuts I’ve missed.

How to Live Happily Without a Budget

Finance

Three years ago, we sat down and built our budget. We spent 9 months adding the non-monthly bills that we forgot about when we created the budget. Setbacks and shortfalls almost killed the budgeting plan completely. It took almost an entire year to get our budget right.

Unrelated Image

Now? I refer to the budget once per month. No more. I don’t check it at bill-paying time. I don’t think about it daily. It’s there as a reference when I need it, but it no longer drives our finances. How did we get to that point?

First, we firmly established our budget. We know exactly what we need to cover our expenses. None of the predictable bills catch us by surprise any more. This is important.

Once we had the budget established, the rest was easy. I moved almost every bill to US Bank’s online bill-pay system and switched to electronic billing and automatic payments. The automatic payments are all through US Bank. I only allow my mortgage to be set up with the merchant. I want total, instant control over the rest. I won’t call a merchant to ask them to change a payment if something comes up. The bank sends me an email when a payment is automatically scheduled, and again when it is paid.

Once I got comfortable with the automatic payments, I switched to electronic billing. I don’t need to see the bill or waste the paper if I know it is being handled for me which is why I encourage you to manage all your finances online. I do check the few bills that may change, like the credit card and cell phone. Now, I see few of my bills. They are all sent electronically to my bank, automatically paid, and scheduled in Quicken–all without intervention from me.

[ad name=”inlineleft”]We also use an envelope system. I know how much we need for groceries, baby crap, clothes, etc. At the beginning of the month, I take out all of that money in cash and put it into the appropriate envelopes. Other than this money, almost everything else takes care of itself. I don’t need to pay attention to by bills on a day-t0-day basis. Any extra money that comes in gets divided among our debt repayment and savings goals, which only takes a few minutes to arrange.

I glance over my budget at the beginning of every month, but I only review it when something changes. If we change our cell phone, or our budgeted gas bill changes, I make the change to our budget. Other than that, it’s not even an afterthought.

That’s how we do it.

Another option includes the Sloppy Math System. This consists simply of rounding deposits down and rounding expenses up. The more you round, the better the system works. If you round every deposit down $50, and round every expense up to the next $10, you are naturally building more room for error. Given enough time, you will have enough of a slush fund to handle emergencies and the occasional impulse purchase.