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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Make Money Blogging and a Carnival Roundup

Finance

As I mentioned last month, my friend Crystal has launched a book about making money blogging. This is the book where the biggest blogger ad rep out there shares her price list. That alone is worth the price of admission. The rest of the book is gravy and includes things like setting up a blog, disclosures, and connecting with other bloggers.

Because she rocks, she’s offering a $10 coupon. Use code “thankyou10”.

Because I also rock, I’m offering a bonus.

If you buy the book through my link during the month of August, I’ll hold a webinar showing you exactly how to set up a blog. It will be a thorough walkthrough of everything you need to get started. I’ll use one of you as the demo model, so the lucky one will get their site set up for them on the webinar*.

I will show you how to easily get started.

You won’t find a better offer out there. Get the book. Get started.

* This does not include graphic design, because that’s not my talent. It’s also not going to include custom programming.

Live Real, Now was included in the following carnivals recently:

Yakezie Carnival hosted by Tackling Our Debt

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Portfolio Princess

Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #40 hosted by My University Money

Carnival of Retirement #27 hosted by Good Financial Sense

Yakezie Carnival: TUJ Summer Heat Edition hosted by The Ultimate Juggle

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by My Family Finances

Yakezie Carnival hosted by Passive Income to Retire

Festival of Frugality #346 hosted by One Smart Dollar

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by 101 Centavos

Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #42 hosted by Modest Money

Yakezie Carnival hosted by Kylie Ofiu

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Making Sense of Cents

Carnival of Financial Camaraderie #43 hosted by My University Money

Lifestyle Carnival #13 hosted by Mom’s Plans

Carnival of Money Pros hosted by Finance Product Reviews

Carnival of Retirement #31 hosted by Debt Black Hole

Thanks for including my posts.

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New Year Goals

Misc

I’m not a fan of New Year’s Resolutions. They are generally drunken promises made on December 31st that are broken by the middle of January, if they are remembered at all. I don’t make resolutions.

My goal for 2010 is to complete one major self-improvement project each month. That’s an entire year of 30-day projects. As each month goes on, I will be updating this blog with the status of each project. Some of the projects will be physical, some will be mental, some will be improvements on my relationships. My goal is to do something meaningful, useful and challenging each month.

Here’s my list:

January: Wake up at 5am AND read to my kids every night before bed.
February: Do 100 push-ups at one time by the end of the month. There is also a secret project this month. I’ll be keeping notes and posting in March.
March: Do 100 sit-ups at one time by the end of the month.
April: Spring Cleaning. I will declutter every room in my house this month.
May: Have a sit-down dinner with my family, at the dining room table at least 3 times per week.
June: No computer use, while anyone else in the family is awake, except for household necessities, such as bills.
July: Write fiction every day.
August: Buy nothing new this month.
September: Attempt to learn a new language. http://ijaar.com/29-free-websites-to-learn-a-new-language/
October: No yelling at the kids.
November: No complaining. Not at home, not at work.
December: I will have done 14 projects this year. December is a month off.

How to Live Happily Without a Budget

Finance

Three years ago, we sat down and built our budget. We spent 9 months adding the non-monthly bills that we forgot about when we created the budget. Setbacks and shortfalls almost killed the budgeting plan completely. It took almost an entire year to get our budget right.

Unrelated Image

Now? I refer to the budget once per month. No more. I don’t check it at bill-paying time. I don’t think about it daily. It’s there as a reference when I need it, but it no longer drives our finances. How did we get to that point?

First, we firmly established our budget. We know exactly what we need to cover our expenses. None of the predictable bills catch us by surprise any more. This is important.

Once we had the budget established, the rest was easy. I moved almost every bill to US Bank’s online bill-pay system and switched to electronic billing and automatic payments. The automatic payments are all through US Bank. I only allow my mortgage to be set up with the merchant. I want total, instant control over the rest. I won’t call a merchant to ask them to change a payment if something comes up. The bank sends me an email when a payment is automatically scheduled, and again when it is paid.

Once I got comfortable with the automatic payments, I switched to electronic billing. I don’t need to see the bill or waste the paper if I know it is being handled for me which is why I encourage you to manage all your finances online. I do check the few bills that may change, like the credit card and cell phone. Now, I see few of my bills. They are all sent electronically to my bank, automatically paid, and scheduled in Quicken–all without intervention from me.

[ad name=”inlineleft”]We also use an envelope system. I know how much we need for groceries, baby crap, clothes, etc. At the beginning of the month, I take out all of that money in cash and put it into the appropriate envelopes. Other than this money, almost everything else takes care of itself. I don’t need to pay attention to by bills on a day-t0-day basis. Any extra money that comes in gets divided among our debt repayment and savings goals, which only takes a few minutes to arrange.

I glance over my budget at the beginning of every month, but I only review it when something changes. If we change our cell phone, or our budgeted gas bill changes, I make the change to our budget. Other than that, it’s not even an afterthought.

That’s how we do it.

Another option includes the Sloppy Math System. This consists simply of rounding deposits down and rounding expenses up. The more you round, the better the system works. If you round every deposit down $50, and round every expense up to the next $10, you are naturally building more room for error. Given enough time, you will have enough of a slush fund to handle emergencies and the occasional impulse purchase.

Yakezie Carnival: The 93 Edition

Misc

Welcome to the Yakezie Carnival. The Yakezie is a group of the best personal finance blogs on the internet. In short, we rock. Joining the Yakezie is a 6 month challenge involving Alexa ranking and cross-promotion.

These are posts submitted by Yakezie members. Please note, this is the 93 Edition, not the 93rd Edition.

Today is April 3rd, the 93rd day of the year.

93 is a Blum integer. For those of you who don’t know, a Blum integer is, to quote Wikipedia, a natural number n if n = p×q is a semiprime for which p and q are distinct prime numbers congruent to 3 mod 4. Now you know as much as you did before. If you understand that definition, you probably already knew what a Blum integer was. To me, this means a Blum integer is a number that has a definition that I have to copy and paste to even repeat coherently. It exists solely to make math geeks feel smart. I am not a math geek.

On to the carnival!

KrantCents brings us Cash or Credit, a post about the choice between using cash or credit for purchases. We’ve wrestled with this one before. A few months ago, we basically abandoned the cash-only system as inconvenient and too easy to ignore. Right now, we are transitioning to a travel rewards card for all of our regular purchases. I’m going to see how much of my trip to the Financial Blogger Conference I can get for free.

Using thelemic isopsephy, a form of numerology promoted by Aleister Crowley, Will + Love = 93. Crowley once said something to the effect of “Never lie. Just live the kind of life no one will believe.” I love that quote, but I can’t remember where I read it.

Dr. Dean presents 5 Tips Plus A Bonus On Saving Money: Today! and says “Dr Dean’s patients are telling him their costs are rising, despite the feds promise that inflation is under control. 5 tips to save a little money, now (with a fun bonus!)” As a father of 3, the bonus tip needs to be rethought. Long-term costs….

On February 8th, 1993, GM sued NBC for faking crashes that show GM trucks catching fire in car accidents. First, if Hollywood has taught me anything, it’s that cars catch fire in every accident, no matter how minor. Second, where’s Toyota’s lawsuit, now?

Jacob at My Personal Finance Journey bring us Are Extended Auto Warranties A Scam? and says “A look at the considerations that should go in to deciding whether or not extended warranties are worth their weight in gold.” I want to call extended auto warranties a scam, but I can’t. When I bought my car, I got the warranty and paid a couple of thousand dollars for it(I don’t remember exactly how much!). For years, it was worthless, but shortly before the warranty expired, I had a couple of problems that needed to be fixed, so I brought it in and asked for a complete inspection to go with the repair. All told, I got close to $5,000 in repairs for that $2,000 warranty and my car drives like new at 7 years old.

On May 10th, 1893, the United States Supreme Court officially declared the tomato to be a vegetable, proving once again that, not only will the government stick its nose into absolutely anything, but it doesn’t feel a need to base its decisions on facts or science. Remember that when you hear any government declaration regarding scientific facts or advances.

Money Reasons bring us Are We All COGs in the Machine Of Life? and says “Break away from the business machine that is using you as a COG spinning doing the owner’s bidding. Why just spin in circles wasting life away? Start your own business or develop some life fulfilling hobbies!” I love the idea of breaking out and doing what you love, whether or not it makes you any money. Life’s too short to hate everything about it.

In Q1, 1793, France declared war on Great Britain, Spain, and the Netherlands. Now, they make whine, pastries, and self-righteous politicians. The Earth is also 93 million miles from the sun. Coincidence? I think not.

Evan at My Journey to Millions offers up Important Dates When Investing in Dividend Producing Stocks and says “When you are dealing with dividend paying stocks there are dates whose definitions can be considered a term of art and you should know about including declaration date, ex-dividend date, record date and payment date.” I get lost when dealing with most investments. That’s mostly because, at this point in my financial journey, I don’t care. I’m still working on paying my way out of debt. I’ll worry about the investments later.

93 is located at the 42nd digit of pi. That is obviously significant. I should team up with Thelema to invent some mystical reason to take a paid holiday tomorrow to celebrate the works of Douglas Adams.

Melissa at Mom’s Plan presents How to Accomplish Your Goals Part Two: Write Down a Step-by-Step Timeline and says “Writing down the goal is only one step of the process; directing yourself as to how you will complete the process is just as important.” Having goals turns life into a game. Games are fun, so goals are good.

By contentment, the acquisition of extreme happiness. – 93rd Aphroism Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra

Darwin’s Money brings us Life Settlement Investment – Scam or Legit? and says “Life Settlement Investments – Profiting from Death? Scam? Or legitimate high yield alternative investment? Find out for yourself with the facts here.” Life settlement funds appeal to me in a totally morbid, Running Man kind of way. It’s less disturbing that Treadmill to Bucks.

Finally, 93 is the number of the flight that successfully fought back on 9/11. Never forget.

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