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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

It’s Better to Buy a House than Rent

Finance

This guest post is brought to you by Lender411.com.

The debate is ongoing about whether it’s better to rent a home or buy one. Which is best?

To start, identify your goals. This includes short-term goals and long-term goals—anything relevant to your living situation or your finances. Are you someone who likes to move around and explore new areas, or have you put down strong roots in a specific location? Are you planning to raise a family? Is that family going to grow over the years? Do you plan to build up wealth? Are you aiming to retire a few years early? Work these things out as best you can. You need to know where you’re headed.

Beyond these life considerations, there are some specific facts about homeownership that typically make buying a house a better choice than renting one indefinitely. Specifically, you’ll save money in the long run if you buy a house. Studies have shown that if you plan to remain in a residence longer than five years, you’re better off buying than renting. Here’s why.

Equity. When you own a house, every dollar you put toward paying off the principal of your mortgage is actually going right back to your pocket in the long run. A house itself is an investment—it is a thing that holds value and, in fact, often gains value over time. It’s almost like a savings account. When you put money into a savings account, it stays there. Sure, you don’t exactly have access to the money, but it’s still there and, in the long run, it’s still yours. You don’t gain this value when you’re renting a piece of property. The money you pay out is simply gone.

Value. As mentioned above, a house, like any other financial instrument or investment, can actually increase in value over time without any effort on your part. Sometime property values just go up. Historically, in fact, just about all property gains value in the long run—often significant value. Real estate is a very popular form of investment even separate from the fact that it provides your family with a place to live. Even with a mortgage, the ultimate return you can get for your money is typically very good, especially if you’re able to find the best mortgage rates when you enter the loan. Renting doesn’t give you this opportunity to someday capture increasing property value.

Stability. One of the most appealing perks of home ownership is the consistency of payments month to month. If you have a fixed rate mortgage, your monthly payment is locked in at a certain amount for the next thirty years or so. This can be extremely comforting for some people and extremely helpful when it comes to budgeting long-term. When renting, prices may fluctuate from lease to lease, or you may move from one place to another and constantly have to readjust your budget and lifestyle. Also, mortgage payments on a house will, at some point, end. When those thirty years are up, chances are you won’t need to make any payments toward your house beyond property taxes from then on. Renting, however, never ends. You’ll never truly have a place of your own.

Despite the strength of these three facts in favor of home ownership over renting, the choice is ultimately one that must be made by individuals and families. Everyone has different long-term goals, and those goals must be identified first. But make the decision wisely. From a financial perspective, home ownership is the better of the two options long-term.

Update: I just realized I didn’t include the link to the Festival of Frugality that included this post. That’s fixed.

Multiracial Skinhead Love Triangle

Finance, Life

“Honey, here on national television, in front of a live studio audience, I’ve got a secret I’d like to share. You’re not our child’s mother. I’ve been sleeping with the milkman. And the goat. Your mom is the star of my new adult website. With the goat. And the milkman. I’ve got three other families, in three other cities. I lost the house to my gambling addiction. Those sores? Herpesyphiligonoritis. I got it from the foreign exchange student we hosted before I moved her to Dubuque and married her. The goat gave her away. The milkman cried. Oh, and I wore your panties to the Illinois Nazi reunion. I know how much you hate Illinois Nazis. But I still love you. And your sister. Especially your sister. She does that thing with her tongue….”

Why would anyone go on national television to share things like that?

More interesting: why would anybody stay on stage after hearing that?

Stay tuned.

I have this friend. He bought a couple of cars. He’s got some issues with money, partially revolving around a need to keep his assets below a certain threshold. So he put the cars in his girlfriend’s name. I know, it’s slightly crooked, but that makes the story more fun.

They broke up.

Recently, she called him to say she was suing him for the cars. She wanted them. She wanted to hurt him. She was mean. Somehow that turned into them agreeing to settle the case on Judge Joe Brown, on national television.

My friend spoke with the show’s producer, then last week, he was flown to California and put up in a hotel for a couple of days. When he arrived at the TV studio, he was informed that it wasn’t Judge Joe Brown, but a new show that will start airing in the fall called, The Test. According to CBS, The Test “is a one-hour conflict resolution talk show that will use lie detector and DNA tests to settle relationship and paternity disputes among the guests.” Coincidentally, CBS also owns Judge Joe Brown.

My friend got on stage with Dr. Phil’s son, Jay McGraw, and was accused of cheating on his girlfriend and stealing her identity. Lie detectors. Yelling. Accusations.

Why did he stay?

He wasn’t given his return plane ticket until they were done filming.

When he was done, they handed him a voucher for cab fare and the itinerary for his return flight. Until then, he had no other way to get home.

That’s why people stay on stage. It’s probably also why none of those shows ever have people with money of their own; they can find their own way home in a pinch.

Interesting side note: The show paid $200 and booked the cheapest possible return flight, with a 6 hour layover.

Cooking Poor

Finance

Frugal cooking can be an intimidating concept. It’s easy to turn a meal into a huge expense, but it’s not that hard to trim your grocery budget without sacrificing variety and flavor. It just takes some planning and a few money-saving techniques. We usually feed our family of five, often with guests, for about $100 per week.

Schedule your meals. Find or make a weekly meal planner. I recommend this or this. Cross out the meals you don’t need to worry about due to your schedule that week. If you won’t be home, you don’t have to cook that meal. Fill in the meals in the remaining slots. Keep your schedule in mind. If you get home from work at 5:30 and have to be somewhere by 6:30, dinner needs to be something quick. Also, make sure you include every side dish you will be serving. Now, look at the recipe for each dish in every meal. Write down everything you need to make all of the food you plan to eat that week. While planning your meals, think about how to use your leftovers. If you cook chicken breasts one day, the leftovers can be chicken nuggets the next.

Take inventory. Take your meal plan and a pen while you look through all of your cabinets and your refrigerator. Why buy what you already have? If you already have steaks in the freezer, don’t waste your money buying more. If you have it, cross it off of your meal plan shopping list. Whatever is left is your shopping list. Review it. Is there anything that can be combined or eliminated? Is there a key ingredient for a sauce that’s missing?

Don’t forget the staples. If flour or sugar is on sale, stock up. Anything you use on a regular basis is a staple, buy it when it’s cheap.

Build a shopping list from your meal plan. When you are in the store, stick to your list. It’s hard, but avoid impulse purchases at all costs. Don’t shop hungry, don’t buy things just because they are on sale, and don’t dawdle. Get what you need and get out.

Avoid pre-processed food. We slice and shred our own cheese. Buying the pre-shredded cheese costs an extra $5 and saves just 5 minutes. Don’t buy pre-sliced apples or anything that will only save a few minutes for several dollars of cost.

Every couple of weeks, I cook a large pot of either beans or rice and keep it in the refrigerator. Almost every meal that we cook gets a cup or two of beans or rice added to it. It doesn’t alter the flavor much, but it adds a few extra servings for pennies. It’s a healthy way to stretch any meal on the cheap.

We have a large bowl in the refrigerator filled with mixed greens. We buy whatever salad-like greens are on sale and prepare the large salad all at once. Most meals start with a salad, which makes it easier to fill up without relying on the protein dish, which is generally the most expensive part of a meal. As a dedicated meat-eater, it took some getting used to, but it’s a good meal–cheap and healthy.

Cook enough for at least 3 meals. That will eliminate 2/3 of the work involved in cooking. Plan ahead to make your meals simple and easy.

Freeze the leftovers in usable sizes. Stock up on semi-disposable meal-sized containers. Freeze some in single-serving sizes for work, and others in family-size servings for last minute meals at home. Preparing for last minute meals keeps you from serving garbage or takeout when life gets in the way of your plans.

Avoid wasting leftovers. Wasted food is wasted money.

When you are done cooking meat, take any drippings or scraps and throw them into the slow-cooker along with any vegetable scraps laying around. Cook it overnight, then strain it into an ice cube tray. You now have stock/broth ready to be added to any recipe.

Plan for serial meals. Chicken breast leftover from today’s meal can become chicken nuggets tomorrow, to be shredded into chicken salad the next day.

When there isn’t enough left for a full serving, we put the remains in a resealable bag in the freezer. When we accumulate enough to fill our slow-cooker, we dump in all of the bags with a couple cups of water. I look through the refrigerator for any leftovers that have been overlooked that week or any vegetables getting close to being too old. It all gets cut up and added to the cooker to cook on low all day. I rarely add seasoning because everything going in the pot tastes good. We never get the same meal twice and our “free soup” is never bland.

That’s how we cook cheap, without sacrificing too much time. How do you save money cooking?

This post is a blast from the past. Originally posted here in January 2010.

Budget Lesson, Part 5

Finance

I’ve explained my budget in some detail already. See these posts for the history of this series.

Now, I’m going to go through each section, reviewing ways that I can reduce, or have reduced, my spending. I’ll be starting with my monthly payments.

House Payment – I’ve mentioned that we have a small house payment. A few years ago, when the interest rates dropped to almost the lowest point they reached in that particular cycle, we refinanced and got in under 5%. There is nothing to cut. We won’t refinance again, and the loan will be paid within 7 years, according to the lender’s schedule. I’m aiming for 4 years.
Netflix – We’re on the 2 DVD/unlimited plan for $13.99. We could drop down to the single DVD plan, but I’m worried that will trigger a rash of movie-buying. 2-at-a-time scratches that itch well. I don’t think we’ll be reducing this plan in the foreseeable future. [Read more…] about Budget Lesson, Part 5

Resolutions That Don’t Suck

Finance

I’m not a huge fan of New Year’s resolutions. Generally speaking, if you don’t have the willpower to do something any other time of the year, you probably won’t grow that willpower just because the last number on the calendar changed.

Seriously, if you’ve got something worth changing, change it right away, don’t wait for a special day.

That said, this is the time of the year that many people choose to try to improve…something. Some people try to lose weight, other people quit shooting meth into their eyeballs, yet others(the ones I’m going to talk about) decide it’s time to get out of debt.

Now most people are going to throw out some huge and worthless goals like:

I need to lose some weight.
I need to save more.
I need to be a better person.
I need to shoot less meth into my eyeball.

The problem with goals like that is the definitions. What is “some”, “more”, “better”, or “less”? How do you know when you’ve won.

It’s better to take on smaller goals that have real definitions.

Try these:

I’m going to lose 20 pounds.
I’m going to save $1200.
I need to stop locking my children in the closet when I go to the movies.
I am never ever going to shoot meth into my eyeball again.

But Jason, I hear you saying, where am I going to find $1000 to save? Well, Dear Reader, I’m glad you asked. Next time though, could you ask in a way that others can hear so my wife doesn’t feel the need to call the nice men in the white coats again?

Let’s break that goal down even further.

Instead of saving $1200, let’s call it $100 per month. That’s a bite-sized goal. Some people don’t even have that to spare, so what can they do?

Let’s make that resolution something like “I’m going to have frozen pizza instead of my regular weekly delivery.” If your house is anything like mine, that brings a $60 pizza bill down to $15 for some good frozen pizza for a savings of $45. If you order pizza once a week, that’s $180 saved each month, double your goal. That’s a win with very little suffering.

Now, you can take that extra $80 that you hadn’t even planned for and throw it at your credit cards. That’s a free payment every month. Before you know it, you’ll have your cards paid off and a decent savings account.

Then you can thank me because I made it all possible.