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Don’t Screw Future-You

Finance, Life

A conversation between me and my temporally displaced self.

Future Me: Excuse me, Jason?

Me: Yes?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: May I ask what that was for?

FMe: Of course.

Me: What was that for, jerk?

FMe: That was payback for all of the hell you have put me through.

Me: What?!? I’ve never even met you, before.

FMe: Of course you have. I am future-you, and I’m sick of getting screwed by past-me, that is, you.

Me: Huh?

FMe: Listen close. You’re not the sharpest brick in the box and I don’t want to explain this twice.

Me: ???

FMe: A long time ago, when you first met our wife, you were dumb.

Me: I don’t appreciate….

FMe: Shut up. I was dumb then, too. Remember? You…err…we bought a new truck, built an addition on our…err…your…err…whomever’s house, got married in the same year. On top of many other expensive decisions. Do your recall?

Me: Yes, I do. So what?

FMe: If that wasn’t enough, you and your smoking-hot bride are still shopping like you’re rich. You drive a new car. Your kids wear new clothes. You’ve got a house full of new furniture. How did you pay for all of that?

Me: Naturally, I charged it. Zero payments, zero interest for a year! Pretty smart, huh?

FMe: What happens in a year?

Me: I don’t know. I’ve got a full year to figure that out.

FMe: <Slap!> I’ll tell you what happens! Future-you, that’s me, gets screwed! Your raise didn’t come through. You had a baby. The truck broke down. Your wife took maternity leave. A roommate moved out. You took a loss in the stock market. You didn’t plan! You had no savings to cover any of those problems because you were too busy servicing debt to pay for your current life.

Me: How was I to know?

FMe: <Slap!> Life happens! You never know what is coming next. You need to plan and save for what might happen. Otherwise, you’ll just accumulate more debt to be serviced by yours-truly. That is not acceptable.

Me: So? What are you going to do about it?

FMe: <Slap!>

Me: Really? Again?

FMe: <Slap!> I’m struggling to pay your debt. Your son starts college next year, but you’ve left me completely unable to help. Your daughter wants to get married in a couple of years, but the Father-of-the-Bride can’t afford a tux. My wife, your beatiful bride, wants a vacation that I can’t afford. You’ve screwed me, dude.

Me: I’m sorry. What can I do to fix it?

FMe: Buy me dinner, first.

Me: Huh?!?!?

FMe: Stop the excess spending. Spend less than you make, for a change. No credit.

Me: None?

FMe: None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Only spend what you can afford. Budget. Pay off those nasty bills. Don’t leave me hanging.

Me: So, what you’re saying is that, if I don’t have the money, I shouldn’t buy it?

FMe: Exactly. That’s the path to wealth, freedom, and financial independence. Live in the real world.

Me: Gee, thanks, Future-Me! Now I know.

FMe: And knowing is half the battle.

What would your future-you have to say to you?

Money Problems: Day 10 – Debt Insurance

Finance

Today, I am continuing the series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances. The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances. It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear. Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

I’m not running the series in 30 consecutive days. That’s not my schedule. Also, I think that talking about the same thing for 30 days straight will bore both of us. Instead, it will run roughly once a week. To make sure you don’t miss a post, please take a moment to subscribe, either by email or rss.

On this, Day 10, we’re going to talk about debt insurance.

Debt insurance is insurance you pay for that will pay your lender in the event of your death, dismemberment, disfigurement, disembowelment, or unemployment. Exactly what is covered varies by insurer, type of debt, and what you are willing to pay for.

Private Mortgage Insurance(PMI) is a common form of debt insurance. Generally, if you take out a mortgage with a down payment under 20%, you’ll be expected to pay for PMI. According to the Homeowners Protection Act of 1998, you have the right to request your PMI be cancelled after reducing your loan amount to 78% of the appraised value of the property. That ensures that the lender will be able to recoup their money by seizing the mortgaged property if you should happen to fall under a bus or get hit by a meteorite.

Another common form of debt insurance is for your credit cards. Card companies love it when you buy their insurance. If you buy their life insurance, your card is paid off when you die. Disability insurance pays it if your get hurt. Unemployment insurance…you get the idea.

Here’s the deal: Get life insurance and disability insurance separately. It’s cheaper than getting it through your credit card company and let’s you get enough to actually live on if something tragic happens. Unless, of course, you die. Then it will leave enough for your heirs to live on.

As far as unemployment insurance, build up your emergency fund instead. That’s money that gives you options. Credit card insurance is money flushed down the toilet. Many of these policies cost 1% of your balance. If you’ve got a $5,000 balance, that will mean you are paying $50 per month. By comparison, if you’ve got a 9.9% interest rate, you’ll be paying about $40 per month in interest.

Debt insurance is a bad idea, if you can possibly avoid it. A combination of life insurance, disability insurance, and an emergency fund provide better protection with more flexibility.

Your task for today is to review your credit card statements and mortgage agreement and see if you are paying debt insurance on any of it. If you are, cancel and set up the proper insurance policies to protect yourself and your family.

Hayden Panettiere Gets Engaged – Crazy Wedding or Not?

Gossip

Hayden Panettiere has formally announced her engagement! The starlet will be marrying Vladimir Klitschko, who is a world renowned boxer that has won an Olympic gold medal. The unexpected public revelation has sparked rumor trails regarding glitzy wedding plans. While no date has been set, and nothing has been confirmed, there is widespread speculation that the event is going to be glamorously over-the-top.

A decadent gala may very well be in the planning stages. The “Nashville” actress, age 24, is one of America’s most idolized entertainers. She appeared on “Live with Kelly & Michael” to declare her commitment. During the show, she flaunted an extravagantly oversized engagement ring. This fancy display could be the precursor to an expensively ostentatious wedding.

Although Panettiere’s fiance is 13 years older than her, it is the first marriage for both partners. This may instill extra incentive for the couple to make their officiation an extremely flashy occasion. Because Klitschko is a famous Ukrainian athlete, he will also be anticipating a magnificently choreographed wedding. Both individuals could invest fortunes in perfecting their walk down the aisle together.

Of course, one of the biggest decisions that Panettiere faces is the selection of her gown. All eyes will be on the fabric that she chooses for this special day. If they go through with a public wedding, the dress will be permanently immortalized in global media. She is going to want to show off flawless class, glimmering austerity and sizzling sultriness. Fashion critics are eagerly anticipating her selection. The high-end designer that she picks will receive a tremendous boost in popularity, especially if she pulls off a beautiful presentation.

A crazy wedding would be completely in character for the young television star. Her most known role was a bubbly cheerleader on the long-running series, “Heroes.” With vivacious charm, she became a sex symbol across the country. Explosiveness is simply a part of her personality, so a bombastic celebration is to be expected. Furthermore, Ukrainian wedding parties have a tendency to be more raucous than American traditions. If they follow any of the groom’s cultural practices, the event could become out of control.

The massive ring on Panettiere’s finger indicates no desire for privacy regarding this affair. In fact, it was an invitation for the mainstream media to cover the entire ordeal. This hints that the couple might be planning a gigantic wedding event. They can easily afford it, and the public celebrations will rapidly enhance the star’s critical acclaim.

In contrast, a private exchange of vows would disappoint her legions of fans. Furthermore, paparazzi could still infiltrate the wedding to snap pictures. To avoid any uninvited intrusions, the couple should be open to media coverage during their nupital arrangements. This will let them control the event, and allow them to recoup some of the expenses through lucrative network contracts. Regardless of how they conduct the wedding, it is certain that the whole world will be diligently watching with admiration, and perhaps a slight tinge of jealousy.

Money Problems – Day 5: Boosting Your Income

Finance

Pizza Delivery Bike — Image by Kevin H. via Flickr

Today we’re going to look at ways to boost your income.

People spend a lot of time talking about ways to reduce your expenses, but there is a better way to make ends meet. If you make more money, you will—naturally—have more money to work with, which will make it easier to balance your expenses. I’ve found it to be far less painful to make more money than to cut expenses I enjoy.

I can hear what you’re thinking. It’s easy to tell people to make more money, but what about telling them how? Guess what? I’m going to tell you how to make money because I rock.

By far, the simplest way to make more money is to convince whoever is paying you to pay you more for what you are already doing. In other words, get a raise. I know that’s easy to say. Money’s tight for a lot of companies and layoffs are common. None of that matters. Your company knows that hiring someone new will involve a lot of downtime during training. If you’ve been visibly doing your job, and the company isn’t on the brink of failure, it should be possible to get a bit of the budget tossed your way.

The first thing you need to do is get visible. If you habitually come in 15 minutes late, make it 15 minutes early. If you are working an alternative schedule, consider switching to the standard schedule, so everyone who matters can see you are at work. Start sending status updates to your boss, including copying him on emails to other people you work with, if those emails signify important milestones in a project.
Next, log your work. Keep track o what you do, what you’ve accomplished, and—most important—how much money you have made or saved for the company.
Third, do your research. Hit the salary survey sites to find out what other people in your field are making. Don’t worry if you are on the high side. There is always someone making more than you. If you are the exception to that rule, try using a similar variation of your job description and title. What’s the concrete difference between a software engineer I and and a software engineer II? About $15000.
Finally, schedule a meeting with your boss and ask. Lay out the things you’ve done, the amount you make for the company and what other companies are paying. Chances are, your boss will have a hard time refusing your request.

Another simple idea is to get a second job. Personally, I hate this idea, but it works wonders for some people. Gas stations and pizza stores offer flexible schedules and they are always hiring. If they aren’t willing to work with your schedule, or it doesn’t work out, you can always quit. This isn’t your main income, after all.

My favorite option is to create a new income stream. What can you do?

Take a piece of paper and a close friend and brainstorm how you can make some money. Write down every type of activity you have ever done or ever wanted to do. Then write down everything you can think of that other people who do those activities need or want. Remember, during a brainstorming session, there are no stupid ideas. Take those two lists and see if there is any product or service you can provide.

You can start a blog—although don’t expect to generate much money early—or try writing for some revenue-sharing article web sites, like hubpages or squidoo. Other options include affiliate marketing, garage sale arbitrage(buying “junk” at garage sales, fixing it up and selling it), or even doing yard work for other people.

One interesting business I’ve seen lately is a traveling poop-scooper. These people travel around and scoop poop out of ddog-owners’ yards. Business booms in the spring when the snow melts, but it can be an ongoing income, since dogs don’t stop pooping.

Raising your income can make it easier to pay your bills, pay off your debt, or even taking nice vacations. How have you made some extra cash?

Money Problems – Day 4: Making a Budget

Finance

Fiscal Year 2010 Budget Briefing (200905070001HQ) — Image by nasa hq photo via Flickr

Today, I continuing the series, Money Problems: 30 Days to Perfect Finances. The series will consist of 30 things you can do in one setting to perfect your finances. It’s not a system to magically make your debt disappear. Instead, it is a path to understanding where you are, where you want to be, and–most importantly–how to bridge the gap.

This is day 4 and today, you are going to make a budget.

Now that you’ve got your list of expenses and you’ve figured out your income, it’s time to put them together and do the dreaded deed. Your going to make a budget today. Don’t be scared. I’ll hold your hand.

Here are the tools you need:

Your list of expenses from Day Two.
Your list of income from Day Three.
A spreadsheet. I recommend the spreadsheet included in Google Docs, but Excel or the Open Office alternative, CALC, are acceptable substitutes.

Setting up the spreadsheet is dead simple.

Create a column for the label, telling you what each line item is. Create a column to hold the monthly payment amount. At the bottom of column 2, create a formula that totals your expenses. If you are including a bill that isn’t due monthly, use a formula similar to the day 3 income formula to figure out what you need to set aside each month. To figure a quarterly bill, multiply the amount by 4, then divide by 12. To figure a weekly bill, multiply by 52 and divide by 12.

Scoot over a few columns and do the same thing for your income.

Scoot over a couple more columns and set up a total. This is easy. It’s just a matter of subtracting your expenses from you income. Hopefully, this gives you a positive number.

To make this even easier, I’ve shared a blank budget spreadsheet. No excuses. If that simple spreadsheet doesn’t meet your needs, I’ve got a much more detailed version that includes categories. I use the detailed version.

Making a budget may be the most intimidating financial step you take, but everything else is built on the assumption that you understand where you money came from and where it is going. Without,it, your navigating a major maze based on a coin flip instead of a map.

5 Steps to Save

Finance

: Image by BitHead via Flickr

“Saving is too hard.”

“I don’t know where to start.”

“How much should I save?”

“Who the heck are you to tell me what to do with my money?”

“Shut up, Jason.”

These are the things I hear when I start talking about getting a good strategy in place to save some money. Financial matters are intimidating to a lot of people. They’d rather not think about their money any more than they absolutely need to, if that much. Here, I’m breaking it down to some simple steps to make saving easy.

1. Get motivated. Why do you want to save some money? Are you trying to make a secure future, or do you just want to buy a new toy? These are the kind of questions you have to ask yourself. Nobody else can tell you why you want to make changes to your lifestyle, and nobody else’s reasons matter in the least. Saving money is something you have to do for you.

2. Figure out how much you can save. Generally, you’re going to need a budget so you can figure out what you can afford to save, but not always. If you are making ends meet, then you get a raise, you can obviously afford to bank the difference. If you do that, you’ll never even notice the missing money. If you try to save so much your mortgage goes unpaid, you’re plan is doomed to failure.

3. Open an account at a new bank. The biggest problem I used to have when I was trying to save was that it was too easy to get the money. Every time I checked the balance of my checking account, I saw the balance in the savings account. Worse, it took seconds to transfer that money from my savings account to my attached checking account. Every time I wanted to see if I could afford whatever toy I was looking at, I’d see money that wasn’t earmarked for anything in particular. Naturally, that money got spent more often that it was ignored and allowed to grow. Now, I can completely forget about the money.

4. Automate. I’ve automated everything I can. All of my bills are paid automatically, except for one company that insists on quarterly paper invoices. I’ve got $665(neighbor of the beast!) automatically transferred to my INGDirect account, to get divided between my various savings goals, including a fund for my semi-annual property tax payments and a fund to pay for the braces we haven’t actually had to buy yet, but will in a couple of years. The money disappears into a bank I don’t use for my day-to-day expenses and grows completely out of sight. Every once in a while, I look at the account and get surprised by how much has accumulated.

5. Get rich. Once you’ve got the other four steps in place, all you’ve got to do is let it work. Over time, you will build wealth in a way that may surprise you. Your goal at this point is to do nothing new. Every once in a while, you can pull out some money and tuck it into an investment account to get some real growth going for you.

“Thank you.”

“You’re the best.”

“What would I do without you?”

“How can I show you my appreciation? <wink><wink>”

“What the heck are you doing with my wife?”

These are the things I always hope to hear after sharing my strategies to save money.

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